“I want to make my marriage work but she has always had trouble trusting me because not only what Dominic did but because she knows our backgrounds. Maybe she would just be better off without any of us in her life. I really don’t know.”
“Does the other woman know Mirisa? Can she approach her?”
“No.”
“How long has it been going on?”
“It’s not an ongoing thing. I have no excuse except I was tired of waiting for the other shoe to fall so I intentionally threw it.”
James stood up. “I think it is time for a ride.”
“James…”
“Meeks, I don’t intend to take you but I hope like hell you can take care of the children who will have a million questions on why their mother is gone.”
“You are not taking her on…”
“Drop dead.”
James opened the door and headed up the stairs. Mirisa was sitting with the girls. “Mirisa, I want you to come with me.” She looked up and dread filled her just by the look on his face.
“James, we’re in the…”
“Mirisa, don’t argue with me.” He walked into her room and got out her heavy coat and told her to put on something to ride. He took out a change of clothes and threw them on the bed.
Meeks came in and told James to leave. They got in a tremendous fight as James drug her out the door while she was trying to figure out what happened. Meeks stood at the window and watched while James argued with her as she mounted the horse and they left heading away from town. Garnett stayed in the library until Meeks came back down.
“James has no right to step in.”
“Then you shouldn’t have told him.”
“Where’s he going?”
“I don’t imagine he’ll take her very far since the weather is getting worse and he won’t jeopardize her health.”
Dominic and the boys came through the back door. He poured a shot and sat down. “The weather seems to be getting worse.” Meeks just looked at him as Garnett nodded. “Did I miss something?”
Meeks stood up and headed out the back door grabbing his jacket and gun.
“What’s the matter did he finally step out on Mirisa?”
“Yep.”
“Well, he lasted a lot longer than I would have thought but honestly how can you keep a marriage together if your wife can’t stay in your bed. I told him that he would regret giving her free reign.”
“I actually think it is our fault and not hers.”
“I disagree but my opinion is well known.”
“Dominic, Mirisa didn’t have a snowballs chance in hell to even comprehend what was right and wrong. She has never once initiated what happened.”
“She never stopped it and even took it a step further by having children by every man in the world. Where is she?”
“With James.”
“Didn’t take it well I assume.”
“She doesn’t know yet.”
“Then why is she with James.”
“I can’t answer that. I think it was a knee jerk reaction compiled with a lot of guilt which is something that none of us particularly handles well.”
“So, is he planning on being the next husband? I honestly didn’t think anything would come between Meeks and James.”
“It will work out because Meeks isn’t about to lose her especially over his own stupid way of dealing with anger.”
James pushed her horse beyond anything it had endured and after two hours he turned into the low foothills and slowed down. Mirisa was cold but sometimes the roadways to life were meant to push you beyond your comfort. They finally came to a clearing as James dismounted. She finally got down and tied up her horse as he gathered up firewood and started a large fire. Mirisa took in the fresh smell of the falling snow as the fire took hold.
“James?”
“What Mirisa?”
“Have you kidnapped me?”
James looked up at her. “More or less.”
“Have you gone completely crazy or are you trying to keep Alexander from telling me about what he did?” James looked up at her startled. “I am always surprised at how surprised any of you are that I am aware of everything in my life. I appreciate your feeble attempt of sparing my feelings and I promise not to cry but it is awfully damn cold out here.”
“I’m sorry. Move closer to the fire.”
“Did you at least bring food?”
“No, I reacted without thinking.”
“So you believed if you took me away that you could soften the blow or did you and Garnett advise him to never tell me.”
“We cautioned him against confessing which might be good for the soul but usually is deadly in a relationship.”
Mirisa walked over to the fire and squatted down. “I don’t believe I have been kidnapped since Colorado but I am sure right now my husband is fit to be tied especially after that fight.” She pulled her collar higher until the heat of the fire started to warm the air around her. “He has been struggling with his decision to allow me to do what I want but mostly I think I scared him when I had Cassie. He says he is fine with what I do but I never really listened to him close enough to know that he always wanted to say no. I believe I owe him more than an apology.”
“Mirisa…”
“James his reaction was his way of saying that I needed to make a decision on whether I wanted to be married or if I just wanted to have a life of illicit affairs like every other married woman you take off the floor. He didn’t have a lot of faith in marriage before we got married and I did nothing to help. I have given so much thought to the fact that I was so faithful to Dominic and since I have been unable to commit to Alexander. No matter what happens, I will be alright.”
“Do you still love him?”
Mirisa laughed. “I have always loved him and I always will which is far more than I can say about Dominic. I have a love hate relationship with Dominic. I love the good times and I hate the bad times but I can live without him which I never thought I could. There have been no bad times with Alexander and my love is so much stronger because even though this has happened I know how much he’s regretting it. James, I don’t plan on losing Alexander now or ever.”
“I can’t handle what…”
“I guess we have created a very complicated situation. What would the unit do in a case like this?” Mirisa rubbed her hands together trying to get them warm. “Could you at least kill a rabbit or something since I haven’t eaten all day?”
“Mirisa, do you want to go home?”
“Not yet. I like being out in the wild and if you are going to kidnap me I should at least enjoy it for a while plus I think you have been having as much trouble with allowing me to have Cassie as Alexander has.”
“How did you know?”
Mirisa laughed. “I don’t know. A woman just knows. I think it is an instinct that God gives us. Why are you angry?”
“Because it is partly my fault and I know if we didn’t constantly seek out your touch that you would be a very faithful wife. I am angrier at myself than at him but he’s never been that stupid.”
“Do you want me to get dinner?”
“No. Stay near the fire.”
“No, I think I’ll go with you. It’s been a long time since I have shot my gun.”
James pulled his rifle out of the scabbard and handed Mirisa her rifle before he made sure the horses were tied to the tree. The snow was still falling as they worked across the open field looking for signs of wildlife. After a few minutes, Mirisa stopped and sited her rifle firing as the large rabbit attempted to run across the open field. James walked over and picked him up turning to her.
“James, I believe he shall make a very nice dinner.”
“I think I need to take you home.”
“No, you brought me here for a reason and until you figure out why I guess we’ll just have to stay here. You must have had a reason.”
“I was angry.”
“I figured that one out.�
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“How can you be so calm?”
“Because I am too afraid of losing Alexander to be anything except calm. I don’t have to worry about money or even a place to live, I don’t have to worry about having an empty life because I have six beautiful children but I don’t want to lose my husband.”
“What can I do to help?”
“Well, I think snatching me up and disappearing might have angered Alexander so much that he might just hunt us down and shoot you so you might want to be vigilant.”
“He won’t shoot me.”
“Are you sure?”
James built a stake before skinning the rabbit putting him over the fire. The sweet smell of roasted rabbit meat started to make Mirisa hungry. She looked out over the horizon as the sun started to set. “Can he track at night?”
“Of course.”
“Then he should be here by dinner? Do you think he was smart enough to bring biscuits?”
James turned the spit over so that the meat would cook fully. “If he has his wits about him he should be but if he’s still angry he might be here sooner.”
“I miss being out in the wilderness with all of you. There is just something so simple about living on the land and surviving with nothing but your wits.” Her feet were getting cold so she went over and took off her bedroll setting it down before sitting on it. “James, what if he doesn’t come?”
“He will.”
They heard the horse before they saw him coming up the trail. Meeks dismounted and tied up his horse. He walked over to the fire and stood on the other side looking at Mirisa. You could tell that she was extremely cold just by the redness in her cheeks. James watched him but said nothing.
“James, she’s not dressed for a night on the mountain.” James ignored him despite the obvious anger in his voice. “Do you want to explain why you felt it necessary to jeopardize her health because you are angry at me?”
“It made more sense than shooting you.”
“Mirisa.” She looked at him as her lip trembled. “I assume that James has tried to explain what I did.”
“Actually he didn’t but I found his method of kidnapping me to stop you from confessing to be so endearing.” Mirisa wanted to touch him but knew he was dealing with a lot at the moment and James put a kink in the problem. “Are you staying for dinner?”
“I’m taking you home.”
“I’m not ready to go home quite yet.”
“It’s going to be below zero in less than an hour and I’m not going to let you come down with pneumonia.”
“Do you care what happens to me?”
Meeks looked down and back up. “How do I answer that after what I have done?”
“Honestly I guess because you haven’t really been honest with me. I am afraid I have been a dreadful wife to you despite taking my vows not once but twice. One would think that after what happened in my first marriage that I would understand the danger that my actions would cause.” Mirisa stood but made no move to toward Meeks. “I think I will go home.” She picked up her bedroll and walked toward her horse strapping it on before she mounted. Meeks watched her and James looked from one to the other. Meeks walked over and put his hand on the reins of her horse.
“I don’t know how to apologize.”
She bent down and kissed his cold lips. “Everyone knows how to apologize darling. You just need to tell me no when I am wrong. I already know what I want but I also know that I can’t make a man love me and I have no right to demand faithfulness.” She turned her horse and headed down the path.
James stood and turned the rabbit over. Meeks mounted his horse and caught up with her blocking her path. She stopped and waited as he dismounted. “I will do whatever is necessary to keep you.”
“You need to say what you want instead of ignoring what bothers you. Was sleeping with another woman the better alternative than sitting me down and telling me how you feel?”
“She meant…”
“She meant what? Was another woman worth standing in the middle of the mountain in a snow storm wondering whether or not our marriage will survive?”
“I won’t let it end because of my mistake.”
“Your mistake was not telling me how you feel before we married. Your mistake was giving into my desire to have a family that was the best of all of you. I don’t know why it is so difficult for you to say no to me instead of letting me do things that would hurt us. You have made me so strong and yet you have allowed me to obviously make very bad mistakes that do have consequences.”
“You’re right. I made the ultimate decision on everything that has happened and to now use that as an excuse for my behavior is just as wrong.”
Mirisa took off the silver heart and handed it to him. He looked at it taking in his breath before he looked up at her. Mirisa knew he was struggling as he put it back around her neck before he buttoned up her coat. “I love you.”
“Then tell me what you want.”
“I want you stop sleeping with other men.”
“Those are not other men; those are your closest friends. They will always be your closest friends and they will always mean the world to you. If I remember, we had sex this afternoon before you decided to confess to your friends sending James into a madman in an attempt to prevent you from coming up those stairs. With Dominic he protected me and this time he was protecting you. I have no idea what he thought he was accomplishing.”
“It was just a gut reaction out of anger and fear. Anger that I could be so stupid and fear that he was directly responsible for my stupidity.”
“Are you going to continue to be unfaithful?”
“Mirisa.”
“Alexander, do you want to go back to your old life? Do you want to be able to spend your nights with James and Garnett?”
“No. I want to take back everything I’ve done to hurt you and I can’t. You didn’t start this journey we have been on, I did.”
“Then go spend the evening with James and I am going to check into the little tavern at the bottom of the ridge because I honestly do not wish to sleep in the snow.”
“You can’t travel in the dark alone.”
“I can.” Mirisa walked over and mounted her horse. Meeks walked over and pulled her off the horse and kissed her so deeply.
“There is nothing I can say that would make this better nor relieve how much I have hurt you but I will not spend a single night without you. I am not willing to let you be reckless or to spend the night alone because I know your emotions have not dealt with this yet. I know the anger is there and it is well deserved but I would much rather deal with it now instead of having you slip into a depression. I will not lose you.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I want you to tell me that you love me more than anyone else.”
“I love you more than myself.”
He helped her mount her horse but didn’t let go of the reins as they headed back to the campfire. Meeks dismounted tying up his horse and lifting her down. James watched them as Meeks put his jacket around her and told her to sit by the fire. James handed her a piece a rabbit leg and she thanked him.
Meeks took a piece of rabbit and squatted down next to the fire. “It’s been a long time since we have been here.”
James looked at him. “It’s been a long time since we have dealt with a problem. Mirisa, I am sorry. Both Garnett and I should have known Meeks’ real feelings and we took advantage of his friendship. Unfortunately, we can’t take back the children.”
Meeks looked at him. “There’s no problem with the children or who fathered them. It’s the fact that I have not stopped either of you believing she was always available that is the problem.”
“So you had to take it elsewhere? What exactly did that accomplish? You have had no problem making your feelings known in the past.”
“Damnit James, it is bad enough you drug her up into the mountains in a snow storm that is getting worse by the hour without pushing my buttons.”
“You could have stayed home if it is too cold for you.”
“You took my wife.”
“Then start acting like a husband and no one will even think about doing something with your wife. I think I am more hurt by your behavior than she is and we both know she hasn’t dealt with it yet.”
“Why are you hurt?”
“Because I care about both of you.”
“Then you won’t mind if we head home before Mirisa freezes to death.”
Mirisa laughed. “Well freezing would alleviate any problems.”
Meeks threw the rabbit in the fire and pulled her up with such force that she almost lost her balance before he pulled her back from the fire. “I will not allow you to accept responsibility for any of this. I don’t know why you ever thought you were in control but all of us know that everything that happened in Texas was going to blow up in our faces one day.”
“Why are you hurting me?”
Meeks looked in her eyes relaxing his grip. “Because I don’t deserve you.”
“Isn’t that my choice to make? Why are you both so unable to understand that my love is greater than your indiscretion no matter the reason for it.”
James stood and brushed the snow off his hat before putting it back on. “Because of the way you handled Dominic’s behavior.”
“Dominic never loved me like Alexander. The difference is the love and love only goes away if there is no hope. I don’t understand men or their ability to sleep with a woman for physical reasons because I would never sleep with a strange man or one I didn’t particularly like. Frankly, I find your need to suffer in the elements and to beat a dead horse to death to be tiring. I’m hungry, I’m angry and I want to go home. If the two of you want to sit out here and fight all night do so but I’m going home.” Meeks saw the anger in her eyes as he pulled her into his embrace. He picked up his jacket and put it on as James doused the fire. They rode as far as the tavern and checked in for the night. Mirisa curled up in front of the fire as Meeks put the comforter around her sitting down behind her. He didn’t think he would be reliving Connecticut again but this time he had no one to blame. He finally picked her up and she fell asleep in his arms
James was sitting in the parlor drinking coffee when they came downstairs. Mirisa kissed him on the cheek as the woman brought over two cups of coffee and a plate of meat pockets. Meeks sat down pulling her over against him.
The Visitor - The Final Ride 1875-1928 Page 6