Caligula

by Douglas Jackson

  Claudius shook himself free of his nephew's arm and turned to stare at Rufus and the elephant. 'Wh-wh-wh-what is your name, slave?'

  Rufus hesitated: 'It is Rufus, sir. I'm very sorry. Bersheba did not mean to harm you.'

  Claudius stared at him for a second. 'R-r-r-rufus. I will r-r-r-remember that.'

  Then the bedraggled figure limped slowly after the Emperor, whose broad shoulders still shook with laughter.

  XV

  For weeks, Rufus waited in dread for the Emperor's return, but Caligula never did bring anyone else to see the elephant. There was always the nagging fear that he would turn up and demand to see a new and even more hilarious trick, but Rufus was able to put the matter to the back of his mind and get to know better the ways of his new charge.

  Bersheba's only obvious weakness was her sight. The small eyes, set to the front of the big, sail-eared head, gave her little peripheral vision. But if her eyesight was defective, her other senses amply compensated for it. The two hairy nostrils set into the fleshy pink end of her five-foot trunk were so finely tuned it scarcely seemed believable. Her hearing, too, verged on the supernatural. When visitors approached, Bersheba was aware of their presence minutes before either Varro or Rufus. The elephant's early-warning system kept them out of quite serious trouble on several occasions, when the Emperor's overseers came to call.

  Of course, some visitors were more welcome than others.

  He was exercising Bersheba on the parkland in front of the barn when he saw them. At first, he didn't know what to make of the noisy little group, but as they came closer he recognized the excited, highpitched voices of young women.

  There were six of them, accompanied by two Praetorians. Rufus scanned the faces of the two soldiers, but neither was Cupido. Caligula had hundreds of guards stationed on the Palatine and in the surrounding area. The gladiator could be anywhere, if he was still alive.

  Careful not to make it obvious, he let his gaze stray across the women. When he realized who they were a shiver of apprehension ran down his spine. Bersheba must have sensed his unease, because her big shoulders shifted beneath him and her trunk came up to test the air. For once, Rufus did not need her talents. He knew danger when he saw it, and to underestimate this innocent gathering would be as fatal as stepping on a nest of mating cobras.

  'Why haven't you brought us here before, Drusilla?' the oldest of the group demanded of the tall girl at her side.

  'You know full well, Milonia, that your husband, my brother, forbade it. But while Gaius Caligula is off to outdo Xerxes at Baiae, Callistus would not dare oppose my wishes, nor yours, sweet sister.' Caligula's sister Drusilla gave a waspish smile. 'Of course, if he discovered you were risking the life of his baby daughter in the presence of the great beast, you would be making a living on your back again from passing soldiers, although I'm sure you wouldn't find it too unpleasant.'

  Milonia, a strong-featured woman with a hawkish nose, huffed: 'Hark at the innocent one, to talk that way of me. Didn't you share my husband's bed long before I and does the whole world not know it?'

  Drusilla laughed, and tossed her auburn hair. 'It was a mere sisterly duty, and a not unpleasant one at that. Can it be, Milonia, you fear my brother will tire of your ever so professional efforts and seek out a sweeter, more succulent fruit?'

  'Must we always return to this subject?' the third of the group, a plump young woman in a pink dress, interrupted. 'My ears ache at your constant prattle and you know how the servants talk.'

  'I think you are just jealous, Livilla, that you and Agrippina are too plain to attract the Emperor's attentions,' Drusilla said. 'It is an honour as well as a pleasure to share his bed. Think of it, a pure bloodline direct from Augustus as our brother's heir. Better that than the fat little monkey who is the fruit of Agrippina's unattractive husband's loins.'

  Agrippina gave Drusilla a cool smile. She had heard all this a dozen times before and was immune to her sister's mocking.

  'The auguries have predicted that Nero will grow up to be a fine young man. He may never rule Rome, sister, but, under the direction of his mother, he will become a great Roman.'

  'Oh, we all know your ambitions, Agrippina. It is fortunate, is it not, that Gaius is still unaware of their extent, but perhaps my tongue will slip when next we . . . meet.' Drusilla rolled the final word across her lips with a sensuality that gave it only one meaning, attracting a sour look from Milonia.

  'I thought we were here to see this beast which so fascinates my husband. I hope it does more than plod up and down with that dirty young man on its back.'

  Drusilla followed her gaze. 'Are we to look up to a slave?'

  Rufus belatedly realized he should have dismounted to greet them. He slid from Bersheba's back and stood by her shoulder. Drusilla was only feet from him. He dared not look directly into her eyes, so he stared over her shoulder and his breath caught in his throat.

  The girl looking back at him was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Dark, liquid eyes seemed to feed off his spirit and the amused glint in them informed him she was quite enjoying his discomfort. She was the tallest of the six women, but, he guessed, also the youngest. Lustrous golden hair fell in folds over her shoulders, and her cherry-red shift bulged with the promise of full, rounded breasts. She must have been sixteen or seventeen and she carried a squirming, dark-haired child of about nine months old.

  He tore his gaze away with difficulty, and found himself staring into Drusilla's eyes, which held a message so obvious it drove all other thoughts from his mind. She stepped closer to him, so that his gaze was drawn to the low-cut dress and the dark cleft between her breasts. She was so close he could feel her breath on his cheek and the scent of her perfume overwhelmed his senses. There was something else, too: not a scent exactly, more a hint in the air, but so powerful it had an instant effect on him. He gasped as he felt a disturbance below his tunic, and bit his lip hard in an attempt to control the uncontrollable.

  Milonia gave a coarse laugh. 'Don't you have enough puppy dogs, Drusilla? This one isn't even house-trained.' She turned to the blondehaired girl whose beauty had so captivated Rufus. 'Aemilia, bring little Drusilla here. It is time for her feed.'

  Rufus turned away, but Drusilla was still staring at him. 'What is your name?' she demanded.

  'Rufus, lady.' His voice sounded as brittle as cracking ice.

  'Well, Rufus,' she said, putting unnecessary emphasis on his name, 'tell us all about your pet.'

  They stayed for an hour, watching as he showed off Bersheba's great strength and the delicate way she could use her trunk to pick up small objects. The only time Milonia and Livilla looked interested was when Bersheba let out an enormous fart. By this time they were competing to show how bored they were with both the elephant and its handler.

  'Come, it is time we left,' Milonia said, attempting to reassert her position as the Emperor's consort.

  'Wait, I have an idea.' All eyes turned to Agrippina and Milonia pursed her lips in annoyance. 'Our brother said the most amusing thing happened when the beast was bathed. Bathe the elephant for us, slave.'

  Drusilla clapped her hands and bounced on her feet like a child. 'Yes, bathe the elephant.'

  Rufus hesitated. He normally only washed Bersheba in the morning and she was a creature of habit. He was not sure how she would react. On the other hand, he had no choice but to obey the Emperor's sisters. They stared blankly at him, waiting for him to move, but the girl Aemilia gave him an encouraging smile and his spirits rose.

  'Come, Bersheba.' He led her back to the barn and chained her to her block.

  He filled the first bucket and steadied himself to throw it over her back, but then hesitated. He still had his tunic on. He was reluctant to remove it in front of the women, who now sat together on a slight rise, but it was his only one and if it became soaked he would have nothing else to wear.

  He went into the barn and stripped to his loincloth, folding his tunic carefully, before returning into t
he sunlight. He tried to ignore his audience, but he felt every eye on him, and at least one of the women let out a short gasp of appreciation. He was a little selfconscious about being almost naked in front of them, but he knew he had nothing to be ashamed of. There was not a spare ounce of flesh on his body, and the exercises Cupido had taught him had given him the firm muscles of an athlete.

  He tried to concentrate on the job of first soaking Bersheba and then brushing her down, but there was something disconcerting about being studied like an animal in one of the Emperor's cages. He caught Drusilla's eye and his attention wavered. It meant he didn't see Bersheba dip her trunk into the bucket. The explosive jet that hit him knocked the breath from his body and froze him to the marrow.

  The women squealed with laughter and Bersheba joined in with a trumpeting hoot. When his senses recovered Rufus could only reflect that now he knew how Claudius had felt. Then the tone of the laughter changed subtly and he sensed something different in the way they were watching him. Drusilla uncurled from her position the way a particularly healthy cat will, and approached him with a frank smile.

  'Well, Rufus, the elephant man, we must thank you for a fine performance. My brother was right: elephants can be most entertaining, and,' her voice dropped to a whisper, 'we all found it very revealing, very revealing indeed.' She let her eyes drop to the level of his groin.

  With a laugh, she turned away and led the giggling females up the slope towards Caligula's palace. As they went, Aemilia turned to give him a shy smile.

  XVI

  How could anyone be so beautiful? He breathed in the musky scent of her dark hair and couldn't stifle a tiny sob. Her hand reached up to gently stroke his brow. 'Hush, brother. You are home now.'

  Home? Yes, this was home, this comfortable blood-warm, silken cocoon within Drusilla's arms where no one could ever hurt him. He had always felt safe here, even in the darkest times on Capri. Those were the times when Tiberius, rot his corrupt soul, had roamed the corridors of the palace like some scab-ridden hunting dog seeking new depths of depravity to plumb. The nights he knew that only by being invisible would he be safe. He remembered how he would wait until Gemellus was asleep in the room they shared then creep past the guards to his sister. Did they really not see him? Or did they retain some spark of decency despite all they witnessed on that debauched cesspit of an isle? At first, all he sought was comfort and the security of her presence. He would hold her hand through the dark hours and she would whisper her tales of their father; tales of honour and courage, of a goodness that seemed to belong to a different world from the one they inhabited. In their childish eyes, Germanicus, most noble of Romans, shone like a beacon in the stygian gloom of their existence. Later it was different.

  Something stirred deep within him as his mind took him back to the night everything changed. Was he the instigator, or she? No, it was they, together, and at once innocent and knowing, a fusion of mind and body that neither could nor wished to deny.

  She felt it too and purred like a cat at his side. 'So soon?'

  Deep in the night he woke to find her silhouetted in the wide window that looked out over the Velabrum towards the Capitoline, her naked body cloaked in the warm glow of a harvest moon. She stood motionless, allowing its light to paint her flawless skin so it appeared she had just emerged from a bath of molten gold. Yes, she was a golden statue. Perfect. He didn't breathe. He didn't want her to move. When she finally did, turning back towards the satin-covered bed, his head filled with a sudden unbidden rage. How could she cheat him?

  'You shouldn't have moved.' He tried to keep his voice level, but she recognized the edge to it.

  'Tell me again about Baiae,' she said, slipping into bed and wrapping her body around him, so his flesh burned to the feel of hers. 'On the day you rode with the gods and defied Neptune.'

  His mood changed as she knew it would. 'Was Alexander ever so fortunate, or Xerxes? I outdid them both. Two hundred ships bought or built, strung bow to stern in twin lines across the bay from the port at Baiae to the mole at Puteoli.' His heart soared with the memory of it. He had ordered a thousand carpenters to build a wooden pathway two chariots wide over the ships, and when it was complete five thousand slaves carried the earth that turned it into a road. A road across the sea. Two miles, at least; some men said three. Three, then. 'On the first day I donned the breastplate Alexander wore at Granicus, and my bejewelled cloak of purple, and I bade my Praetorians follow me as I galloped the length of the sea-bridge. On the second, I held a great spectacle and the two legions who escorted my chariot loved me for it. The people too. It was as if the whole world watched from the shore. Has any man been so fortunate?'

  Drusilla stared at him, bright-eyed. 'You are no man, brother, but a god, an earth-bound god.'

  He nodded. He knew she was right. She was always right.

  'Yet the Senate would have thwarted me. The fools did not understand my purpose or that my glory is Rome's glory. Spend your own gold, they said, not Rome's. So I did. My inheritance is gone, but this I swear by Jupiter's lightning bolt. They will pay. They will pay a thousand-fold.'

  As he spoke, he felt his face grow grim, and saw the fear in Drusilla's eyes as his hands caressed her neck. The fear pleased him.

  'They hate me. Do you hate me, Drusilla?' He allowed his fingers to tighten on her throat. Saw her mouth open and her eyes bulge. 'Do you hate me?'

  She tried to shake her head, but his hands were compressing her windpipe and cutting off the air to her lungs. Her vision faded and turned first pink, then red with a halo of black. She knew that when the black halo filled, she would be dead. But there was no more fear, only exhilaration. To die at this man's hands was to be immortal!

  Slowly, the grip on her throat slackened. The black faded to red, then to pink, and when she opened her eyes he was there above her, his eyes shining with desire.

  'Yes,' she cried. 'Yes, Gaius. Please. Now.'

  Aemilia's smile haunted Rufus. She followed him into his dreams, where her beauty tantalized him and he was tempted to places he had never imagined. But always she would be just beyond his reach, so he would feel the warmth radiating from her, but never the touch of her velvet flesh. See the glinting golden highlights of her hair, but never stroke its silken strands.

  Even in daylight her presence seemed to be all around him. Every female voice he heard was hers. Every glimpse of a red dress through the trees or in the far distances made his heart race and his stomach churn. He imagined what they would do together, and what he would say to her. Even the simplest things would be a pleasure with Aemilia. Just to be with her would be enough.

  Yet on those infrequent occasions when the red dress was hers he was left with a sense of failure. Yes, she would smile at him, but she seemed to smile at everyone. Her greeting was warm, but was it special? She was never alone, so he couldn't ask her the things he longed to ask, or tell her the things she needed to be told. He thought he was making his feelings for her plain, but since she never responded or made her feelings known, how could he be sure? The merest hint would have been enough, yet the closest thing to a signal had been the faint suspicion of puzzlement in her eyes on a day when he had held his smile a few seconds longer than normal and she had asked him if he was unwell.

  As the weeks passed, he realized he was being a fool and prayed for the feelings to go, but they never did. The only thing that drove her from his mind was the uncertain reality of life in Caligula's court.

  The young Emperor exerted a baleful influence far beyond his immediate physical presence. Those closest to him lived, if not in fear, then certainly in a state of constant confusion as they attempted to preempt his ever-changing moods. This uncertainty filtered down from consul to senator, from freedman to clerk, and finally from palace servant to slave. Mistakes, even small ones, could be lethal. There was always room for one more sacrifice at Caligula's never-ending spectacles. People disappeared.

  One day it was Varro.

  Rufus discovered l
ater that the little man had come to an agreement with a palace official to supply the farms that still studded Rome's suburbs with Bersheba's rich manure. Unfortunately, the little black man made the mistake of becoming too close to the wife of one of the farmers who was the recipient of the elephant's bounty. When she foolishly confessed to the liaison, her husband approached the overseer and threatened to end their productive relationship. A word to the palace guards had been enough.

  Varro's fate shocked Rufus, but he had little time to mourn his friend. Now he had twice the work to do. And something much more dangerous to worry about.

  He was mucking out the elephant's quarters as the autumn shadows lengthened early one evening when two Praetorian guardsmen approached the barn.

  'You are to come with us,' the senior ordered.

  Rufus froze. Was he to follow Varro to the arena? But he couldn't refuse. He turned towards the cistern, intending to wash the hardcaked elephant dung from his body.

  'You've no time for that.'

  The guards escorted him up the slope to the palace and through a series of lavish corridors to a room where a group of exquisitely dressed aristocrats stared at the new arrival as if he had just arrived from the wrong side of the River Styx.

  'At last, the elephant boy. Our final guest has arrived; now we can begin.' The Emperor was seated on a couch at the far end of the room. The pale eyes studied Rufus for a few seconds that sent a shiver of fear through him, before a languid hand motioned towards an empty couch that was one of more than a dozen surrounding a long table which appeared to be crafted of solid silver. The Praetorian at his back gave Rufus a gentle push and left to take his place among twenty of his fellows positioned at intervals around the walls. Rufus noticed that each of them had his right hand on his sword hilt.

  Was he dreaming? Anything seemed more likely than the reality. He walked slowly towards the table and sat bolt upright on the padded couch Caligula had designated.