The Hawks_A Novel

by SD Hendrickson

  Well, there wasn’t actual smoke.

  Just my wishful thinking.

  I wasn’t sure if her current mood stemmed from the remaining anger over catching me with Javier or something worse. Maybe it was the protesters camped in front of the gate. Either way, the woman needed to calm the hell down or I would get nothing done today. Her eccentrics were a distraction.

  Taking a break, I went to the kitchen for a snack. I ate leftover watermelon salad on a china plate adorned with roses around the edges. The fruit disintegrated on my tongue as my thoughts drifted back to memories of last night in the pool—back to Javier.

  The way his eyes lit up as he spoke. So full of life. So passionate. He made me believe I was still a good person. Like I was making the right decisions with my life. I needed to hear that more than anything right now. And then Javier touched me. Kissed me. He moved with such calm assurance. Nothing to rush. Nothing to prove. Just two people enjoying the way it felt to touch, to be in the other’s presence.

  I let my fork rest against my lips. My eyes drifted closed. And I pictured his face. His smile that tilted up into a faint smirk as he teased me into kissing him again. I savored the taste of his mouth. His fingers running over my bare skin. Touching in a way that felt like a caress and a firm grab as he pushed me against the wall. My pulse beat faster as the tight ache of longing took hold. I wanted more than just a few stolen moments last night.

  I wanted him. Plain and simple. Not exactly simple. I doubt sex with Javier would be straightforward. The man didn’t even talk in simple sentences. No, sex with him would be different. He would use his lips, his mouth, and his beautiful words. Sex with Javier would be the ultimate euphoric high.

  Get a grip, Sarina.

  I shook my head to rid myself of the thoughts. Standing here dreaming about him would not help the situation. Javier and I were just not meant to be. Not even for a brief moment. And it was better that Mrs. Hawthorn had alluded to the consequences before anything else happened between us.

  I had my warning.

  I’d best listen to it.

  When I got back to the study, I heard Mrs. Hawthorn on the phone. I paused outside the door, listening to her heated conversation with Ted regarding the protestors. Her voice was sharp. Angry. Condescending. And in typical Delsey fashion, she hung up on her own son when he didn’t respond in the way she deemed acceptable.

  I reluctantly sat back down at my desk. She glared at me before leaving the room, only to return ten minutes later. The afternoon crept by in hellish agony. She was at her all-time worst today. Muttering under her breath. Barking orders. Until finally she requested a dinner tray for her room and left for the evening while uttering “Good riddance” to me or maybe to no one in particular.

  Good riddance indeed.

  Once she was gone, I breathed a sigh of relief and picked up the donor list for the fundraiser in the ballroom. A silent auction would be the main feature during the party. The ticket sales alone would bring in a large amount of money, but the right items from notable businesses would also contribute to the overall amount raised for the hospital.

  Mrs. Hawthorn was providing a trip to Aspen to stay in a condo that cost thousands a night. She expected the donated package to go for at least double the listed cost of the actual vacation. And technically the condo cost her nothing. She owned it.

  I worked on my donor list, calling a manager at one of the car dealerships. Just mentioning her name opened all sorts of virtual doors while on the phone. After a few more conversations, I had appointments confirmed to discuss a potential car donation, a year’s worth of dry-cleaning, and a high-end wine basket.

  My stomach grumbled and I glanced at the big hands on the grandfather clock. It was already six thirty. Calling it a day, I went in search of dinner leftovers in the kitchen.

  Later that night when I returned to my room, I found a pink rose from the front yard next to my pillow with a note. The sight sent a small thrill of anticipation through my stomach. I picked up the stem and gave the flower an absent sniff as I picked up the paper.

  Sarina,

  I apologize if my invitation last night was too forward. Please join me later at the pool. The water won’t feel the same without you.

  Javier

  My body tingled. I could almost hear his voice whispering the invitation. One more kiss wouldn’t hurt. I just needed a little taste. He was more addictive than his damn cigars. I moaned in frustration. I wished for this to be easy. But my life just wasn’t that simple.

  Why did Javier have to leave the note? Why pursue something with me after what she’d said to him? He could’ve listened to her words and cast them away without a care. I couldn’t afford that luxury. I would lose everything if she saw me at the pool with him again. My job. The perks. The gold star on my résumé. The money for me, for my family.

  I had to keep my head in the long game and not get tangled up with a man who would only be temporary at best. Letting out a deep breath, I pulled out a silk nightgown and got ready for bed. I crawled under the covers, but I tossed and turned as my mind filled with hundreds of thoughts. This house stayed at a cool seventy all day and all night. Sometimes it seemed strange not to be hot with the sheets sticking to my skin like at my old house.

  I decided to call Ty to see how things were going back at home. I knew he was already at work and could talk without everyone else in the house around to hear our conversation. The phone rang twice before he answered.

  “Hey, sis.” But his voice lacked the usual humor and teasing punch.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He hesitated. “Nothin’ . . . I’m just tired.”

  “Come on, Ty. Talk to me.”

  “Don’t start worrying. I’ve got it handled.”

  “Well, now I am worried.” The low edge of panic simmered as my mind went on autopilot down a dark road. “Talk to me, or I’m coming out there to see for myself.”

  “Calm down. It’s not that big a deal.”

  But it was.

  Tyson said Mama had locked herself in the bathroom with the faucet running in the tub. When she had refused to come out, Granddaddy was forced to remove the door from the hinges. But not before Mama flooded the bathroom and half the bedroom. Grams had gotten flustered, sending her blood pressure up. She had to lie down in bed as Ty cleaned up the mess.

  Listening to his gruff voice tell the story, I closed my eyes. I didn’t know what to say. Or if there really were any words that would provide comfort. I just let my brother vent on his break from cleaning. I felt sad for Tyson.

  I felt guilty.

  “You have to tell me these things, Ty.”

  “I . . .” He let out a deep breath. “I’m not gonna call you and fuck up your night too. Not if it’s something you can’t do shit about. I told you. I got this, Sarina.”

  “I’m not saying you don’t. I’m just sorry that you have to handle it. I’m just sorry,” I whispered.

  “Don’t be.” The silence seemed to grow, cased in the heaviness of our thoughts. “Look, it’s late. You get some sleep and stop worrying. I’ve gotta get back to work.”

  “Okay. I guess, good night.” And then he was gone.

  Some opportunities came at a price. And my baby brother paid mine. I’d left all of these daily problems on his shoulders. But the money I made here would more than cover his welding classes. And the idea covered the guilt with a small Band-Aid. I just had to convince Ty to let me invest in his future too.

  Stretching out beneath the covers, I pulled out the copy of Jane Eyre. I ran my finger over the special edition gothic cover signed by the artist. The depiction of Thornfield Hall felt rather ominous tonight.

  Opening to the bookmark, I did my best to focus on the beautiful yet cryptic words. But the turmoil of the last twenty-four hours twisted through my thoughts. Javier, Mrs. Hawthorn, my mother, Tyson. It swirled around in my mind until my eyes drifted closed and I fell asleep.

  I heard a knock at the door. Lif
ting my head up from the slightly crumpled pages, I glanced at the clock, seeing it was a little after midnight. Mrs. Hawthorn would have summoned my presence via the intercom. Maybe it was Brenda, bringing some late-night snack for me to taste, but I had a feeling it was someone else. I hoped he wouldn’t just come to my room. Not after what had happened last night with his grandmother.

  A slight knock came again. Putting Jane Eyre away, I walked barefoot over the old hardwood floor. I opened the door. Our eyes met and a warm flush went under my skin. Javier stood in front of me. He was dressed in red swim trunks and a white shirt that fit snug over his chest.

  “What are you doing here?” I whispered.

  He smiled. “You didn’t come to me. So I came to you.”

  My eyes darted past him out in the hallway, half expecting Mrs. Hawthorn to materialize suddenly behind his head like a ghost. There were people outside the house with signs on pitchforks, but they also resided within the walls, waiting for the girl with the scarlet letter to mess up again.

  “We can’t,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. But I’m your employee. I work here and this is wrong in so many ways.”

  He frowned for a moment. “You heard what she said by the pool?”

  “Yes,” I muttered. And in her office to my face. But I wasn’t about to tell him that detail. “I came back for my robe and heard you talking.”

  “Well, that explains things.” His jaw gritted. “My grandmother is the one who is wrong. And I’m sorry you heard. She should not have said that about you.”

  “But is she really that wrong?” I whispered. He might be dressed in pool clothes right now, but the rest of his closet held only custom-made suits. And his last name was Hawthorn, just like the one on my check. “You said we are the same. But we’re not. You’re technically visiting me down in the servants’ quarters of your own house. Think about it. That’s what I am here.”

  He reached up, touching my face, running a thumb over my cheek. “This house belongs to her. And you and I are just guests on different floors. Guests who have met and want to spend time with each other.”

  “Guests?” I laughed in exasperation. “Wow . . . you really believe that you’re only a guest here?”

  “Sí. Now invite me into your room, Sarina.”

  My eyes drifted to his lips as his voice rolled over my name. I knew this was a bad idea no matter how this beautiful man twisted the idea into sounding respectable. His fingers brushed my cheek again before trailing over my neck to the small strap of my nightgown. My body yearned for him to touch the rest of me. I wanted to know how it felt to be appreciated fully by Javier Hawthorn.

  “She can’t find out,” I whispered.

  He nodded. “I know.”

  My heart beat faster as fear and excitement blended together. I moved to the side, allowing him to come into my bedroom. Javier stepped across the threshold, shutting the door quietly behind him. His fingers turned the antique lock with a small click as he gave me a heated grin. It was just us now. The rest of the house hidden behind the walls.

  Javier closed the space between us. His hands cupped each side of my face as his lips grabbed mine. I stumbled back a few steps until my shoulders were pressed against the door. He kissed me harder than last time in the pool. More aggressive. Already familiar, sucking on my bottom lip, running his tongue over the edge until he was inside my mouth. He tasted of Damian. Javier must have waited for me by the pool in his chair, smoking one of his cigars. The hint of spice and whiskey on his lips made me a little crazy.

  Earlier today, the idea of us ever kissing again seemed impossible. At the very least, stupid. But now I seemed incapable of reason. But sometimes the things that gave the greatest pleasure came with risk. I deserved a little happiness. I served at her beck and call. I did everything she asked—except this one little thing. I could have a secret. I could have him.

  My hands went down to the hem of his shirt. I didn’t like Javier covered up. I wanted to run my fingers under the fabric and feel his bare chest. But he pulled my hands away and up above my head, holding my wrists captive against the door. He kissed my cheek and then down the side of my neck until he reached the lowcut neck of my nightgown.

  I rested my head back. My hair flowing down around my shoulders. I heard my own breaths, getting more labored as his mouth kissed the exposed mound of my breast and then moved to capture my nipple through the silk. The pressure of his lips tightened, and I arched my back for him to get closer.

  Javier kept my wrists in his left hand while his right fell to my butt cheek. His fingers dug into my skin. Not hard. Just the kind of pressure that kneaded the flesh as his lips returned to my mouth. We kissed.

  The ache inside of me grew with his touches. The way Javier smelled of smoke and cologne. The way his breath ran over my skin. The little sounds he made like I was the sweetest thing his lips had ever touched. I consumed it all, letting those pieces heighten the feel of this moment.

  His hand moved to the bare flesh of my thigh and then under my nightgown. But he didn’t go any futher. Instead, he traced the lace edge of my panties, lingering on my hip and then down the low dip in the front. My thoughts bounced back and forth between his soft lips and the idea of his hand sliding down in my panties. He teased two places at once while they both begged for the same thing. More of him.

  “Touch me,” I whispered. Maybe he needed to hear me say it. To let him know I was completely on board with him taking this further. Our clothes felt stifling. I wanted to feel his naked skin against mine. I wanted him to touch me. And I groaned in frustration.

  I heard a small laugh in his throat as he pulled me away from the door. “Come on. Not here.”

  Javier wrapped his arms around my body. His mouth stayed on my lips, distracting me. I felt my feet moving backward. As we reached the bed, his fingers touched the hem of my gown.

  “Arms up,” he whispered in my ear.

  My hands raised above my head as I looked into his eyes. The fabric went slowly up my body until it brushed over my face. And then I stood there naked before him with the exception of my blue lace panties.

  He smiled. “Mi Sarina. Eres muy sexy. Muy hermosa.”

  His words touched with the same impact as his tongue ran over my skin. I watched him pull his own shirt over his head. His arms flexed as he tugged the fabric, revealing his bare chest. I felt that pull toward him. My breasts ached to be pressed against his skin.

  Our eyes met. And he grinned. “On the bed.”

  I did what he asked. I sat down on the edge and then leaned back until my shoulders touched the sheets. Javier stood in front of me. He ran a hand up my thigh. The warmth of his touch made me shiver. He tucked his fingers inside the waist of my panties, pulling them down my legs.

  I was completely naked now, spread out in front of him. His lips were parted just a little and his eyes were the color of chocolate as they traveled over my skin.

  “Are you just going to look?” I whispered.

  Javier grinned, sitting down next to me on the bed. “Maybe I want to look before I touch.”

  His hand slid over my stomach until he reached my breasts. He squeezed lightly and then leaned in for a kiss, nipping my bottom lip with his teeth. Heat surged through my body. My head fell to the side as he kissed down my neck. His lips got softer, almost feather-light when he reached my stomach, each kiss marking a spot on my flesh. I had visions of those little places never being the same again. They would always feel the burn of this man’s lips.

  His eyes flickered up to mine as he got lower. I understood now why he pulled me from the door. What he wanted to do to me. This would be better than the quick touch I had begged for a few moments ago. He coaxed my thighs apart. My eyes closed as I felt the first kiss.

  Javier cupped my left breast, rubbing my nipple while his mouth moved against me. He took his time. Patience and self-control on his part. Damn, he was good at this. Yes. Completely worth the wait and the risk. A whimper escaped my throat as he tea
sed, bringing me close, but then he completely stopped. I waited for him to finish and put me out of my misery.

  “You’re torturing me,” I muttered and it sounded like a pathetic whine.

  He laughed. “Maybe watching you is torturing me.”

  My eyes opened and I leaned up on my elbows. He grinned at me from between my legs. I moved to sitting, making him stand up in front of me. My fingers trailed down his chest followed by my lips. He sucked in a little breath as I grazed his belly button. My mouth pressed another long kiss just a little lower and then I slipped my fingers in the waistband of his swim trunks. The elastic moved down his hips until they fell to the floor. Javier stood there naked. I lay back on the bed and looked up at him, appreciating the muscles and lines that formed his perfect body. I didn’t even bother to hide my smile.

  The amusement flashed in his eyes. “You like what you see, hermosa?”

  “I want what I see.”

  “Me too,” he whispered.

  Javier reached down and pulled a condom from the side pocket of his shorts before crawling on top of me. Our bodies pressed together. Naked skin. Bare breasts. The anticipation was burning strong as he straddled my hips. The full contact of him came with an exhilarating rush. I couldn’t stop the loud moan from escaping my lips.

  “Shh.” Javier grinned, looking into my eyes. “Te deseo, Sarina. Tu ternura me encanta. Me pones muy caliente.”

  I didn’t need to understand the meaning of his words. The sound alone made everything turn hot as he moved inside of me. His hips rocked while his chest brushed across my breasts with each push. I ran my hands over his back, pulling him tighter. After the hours of trying to make my mind not think about him and then finally having his mouth on my skin, it didn’t take much to bring me close . . . so very close.

  I sucked in a deep breath, feeling the waves of pleasure hit me hard as my nails dug into his flesh. His lips covered mine to hush the moans as my back arched against the sheets. It was rough and intense. I smiled as he went faster. I felt his release and our eyes met. The moment of a euphoric high circled around us.