by Monica Burns
“I think I will, Mr. MacTavish. I feel quite spent,” she said with a feigned sigh of exhaustion. “Won’t you join me?”
Patience deliberately allowed the sheets to fall to her waist as she smiled sweetly at him. The newspaper in his hand fell carelessly onto the table as desire swept across his face. A wicked smile curved his sensual lips, while his hot gaze caressed her until her entire body ached for him to touch her. His smile widened, obviously aware of her arousal, before regret swept across his face. With a sigh, he shook his head.
“I can think of nothing that would give me greater pleasure, mo ghràdh. But if I come back to bed I’ll not leave it for the rest of the day.” Julian’s eyes darkened. “And as much as I would love pleasuring you until you truly are spent from my touch, I must meet with Lord Mayberry this morning.”
“I thought you said your meeting with him was tomorrow afternoon,” she said with a surprised frown. For a brief instant, she could have sworn Julian looked guilty before he smiled and shook his head.
“Did I? I obviously confused my dates,” he said with a sinful twist of his lips. “But how can I be faulted for forgetting the order of my appointments when my wife bewitches me so.”
“If I’m so bewitching, how are you able to resist me now?” she teased as she crawled out of bed and moved toward him. She smiled at the desire in her husband’s eyes as his gaze roamed over her naked body.
“God help me, Patience. You’ll be the death of me,” he muttered as she sat down in his lap.
One arm wrapped around his neck, she ran her hand across his shirt and bent her head to kiss his cheek. His hand warmed her skin as he lifted her bare breast to suckle her. A soft mewl escaped her lips, and she arched backward, enjoying the delightful sensation of his mouth tugging on her gently. With one last nip at the tip of her, he pulled her head down and kissed her hard. Then in an authoritative move he set her back on her feet, turned her around, and swatted her bottom.
“Either get dressed or get back in bed. You’re far too distracting, and it’s not just Lord Mayberry I have to meet,” he growled with frustrated affection. “I have several matters of business to attend to for my father as well.”
“All right,” she said with disappointment. “I have correspondence I’ve neglected for the past three days. When that’s finished, I’m sure I can find something to occupy my time while you complete whatever business you need to complete for your father.”
Patience circled the bed to pick her night robe up off the floor. The mere mention or thought of her father-in-law always put a damper on her mood. No matter how often Julian reassured her that his father wouldn’t come between them, it didn’t make her father-in-law’s contempt for her any easier to bear. She slipped her arms through the sleeves of her robe biting her lower lip.
The last time she’d seen Fergus MacTavish, Laird of Crianlarich, had been shortly after she and Julian were married. The Crianlarich had made her stay so unpleasant she’d vowed not to go back. Although Julian had shielded her whenever he could, it had not stopped his father’s vicious taunts and insults when they were out of Julian’s hearing.
Not even the occasional presence of Julian’s younger sister, Muireall, had provided any real buffer from the Crianlarich’s acerbic tongue. Patience’s fingers fumbled with the sash of her robe at the painful memory. A strong hand gripped her shoulder as Julian forced her to turn around.
“I’ve told you before, Patience. My father will never come between us.” Reassurance reverberated in his voice as he cupped her face with his hands and kissed her gently. “I married you because I love you.”
“He might not come between us, but I’ll never come close to having his approval if I don’t give him a grandson. Your heir,” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against the soft, lightweight wool of his jacket.
“I told you the other night that it takes time, mo leannan.”
“How much time?” She pulled away from him as tears welled in her eyes. “How long before you believe what I already know? I’ve fulfilled your father’s prediction. I’m an Englishwoman who will never give you a son.”
“That’s enough, Patience.” Anger darkened Julian’s face as he eyed her sternly. “A son—or daughter for that matter—was never a condition of my marrying you.”
“But you can’t say you’re not disappointed.”
“Can you?” he asked gently. “I know you want to give me a son, mo ghràdh, but if it doesn’t happen, I’ll not stop loving you.”
Patience leaned into him again, and Julian engulfed her in his embrace. Even though she might be barren, he still loved her. The realization eased some of her heartache, but not completely. She longed to have Julian’s child.
“I must go, mo leannan,” Julian said with a tender kiss. “I can no’ miss my meeting with Lord Mayberry about the land values tax, and if I stay here with you I’ll most definitely no’ be meeting with the man.”
“Go, I’m sure you’ll be as persuasive with his lordship as you always are with me.”
Patience smoothed the lapels of his jacket, her fingers brushing across the Clan MacTavish brooch his mother had given him as a child. Her husband was far from a vain man, but the jewelry was one of his most cherished belongings, and he wore it always.
With one last kiss, Julian strode from the room. Listlessly, she moved to the breakfast table to scrape butter on a piece of toast. Patience took a bite, and hoping for one last look at Julian, she parted the window curtains slightly and looked down at the street. A hackney pulled up to the sidewalk just as Julian reached the bottom of the front steps.
About to let the sheer material fall back into place, Patience froze as she saw a woman lean forward to extend her hand to Julian. Fiery auburn hair and a creamy complexion highlighted the woman’s beautiful face. Una Bensmore. She’d met the woman during her first and only stay at Crianlarich Castle.
The Scotswoman was a childhood friend who the Crianlarich had made clear was the bride he’d hand-picked for Julian. The woman’s flirtations with Julian had been just as upsetting as her father-in-law continuing to point out Patience’s inadequacies whenever possible. Why was Una in London, and why here at their house? Her attention swiftly jerked back to Julian who nodded at something the woman said.
The instant she saw Julian start to look upward, Patience dropped the curtain and drew away from the window. When she believed it safe, she peeked through the slit in the curtains again. She regretted doing so as she watched Julian climb into the two-seat cab with Una. Worse, she saw the woman looking up at her with a smile that reminded Patience of a cat who’d stolen cream from the pantry.
Patience immediately dropped the window curtain as jealousy reared its head. Why hadn’t Julian mentioned he would be seeing Una this morning? It was a rhetorical question. He’d most likely chosen to remain silent so as to not upset her. No doubt he’d remembered the fight they’d had about the woman during Patience’s one and only stay at Crianlarich Castle. They’d been married only two weeks before Julian had taken her home to meet his family. Except for the raw passion that existed between them, they’d known little about each other. Their short courtship meant misunderstandings had been inevitable. She flinched at the memory of the dinner party her father-in-law had arranged.
When Robert Bensmore and his daughters had arrived at the castle, Fergus MacTavish had spent the night subtly pointing out Una’s exceptional qualities whenever Julian was out of earshot. It didn’t help matters that Una had the face of an angel. The woman had captivated Julian the entire evening. It had been the most painful thing Patience had ever experienced, and she was grateful when she was able to say goodnight. She’d barely been in her room more than a few minutes when Julian had come in with a frown on his face.
“Are you not feeling well?”
“I’m fine,” she said coolly.
“You barely spoke to anyone during the meal,” he said with a frown. “Even Una mentioned it
when saying good night.”
“I find it difficult to believe the woman even realized I was in the room,” Patience said without any trace of the bitterness that was eating away at her insides.
She was grateful for her ability to respond in a calm, even tone of voice when what she wanted to do was scream at him. Not bothering to look in Julian’s direction she sat down at the dressing table and undid her hair to brush it. Julian came to stand behind her and touched the side of her neck.
“There’s no need to be jealous, mo leannan.”
His soft laugh infuriated her. The man had no idea what it had been like to watch Una fawn over him, all the while sending her the occasional gloating look. Patience looked up at him, and his amused expression made her spring to her feet as anger flowed hot and fast through her veins. Patience’s movement was so fast it sent the dressing table bench toppling to the floor and caused Julian to stare at her in stunned surprise. She glared at him.
“Do not laugh at me,” she bit out fiercely. Julian’s gaze narrowed.
“I am no’ laughing at you, Patience.” His body was stiff with resentment as his brogue thickened with irritation.
“You are,” she said in a tight voice. “Do you think I don’t know why your father asked the Bensmores to come this evening?”
“The Bensmores are family friends.” Julian shook his head with exasperation. “Caitriona, Una, and I played together as children. My father has them for dinner quite often.”
“She isn’t just a family friend. She’s the woman your father chose to be your bride.”
“It does no’ matter what my father wished. You’re the one I married,” Julian said angrily. “Una has never been anything more than a close family friend.”
“Close friend?” she sneered and glared at him for being so obtuse where the other woman was concerned. “From Miss Bensmore’s manner tonight, I would have supposed your relationship much more intimate.”
“You go too far, Patience.” Fury made his voice hard and flat.
“Do I? The woman made it quite obvious you had only to ask and she would slip into your bed,” she bit out as fear and suspicion became an insidious vine snaking its way through her.
“You do no’ have much faith in your husband’s love, Lady Patience.” The formal address stung. He’d never spoken to her like this before. His expression was grim, and she saw the flicker of painful disappointment in his dark eyes.
“No more than you have in me when I point out the obvious,” she snapped as she fought to keep the tears out of her voice. She turned away from Julian and moved toward the bed, but he followed her, the heat of him warming her back. His fingers trailed a light path across her shoulder.
“I love you, Patience. I have since the moment I first laid eyes on you.”
“That is the crux of the problem,” she bit out as she whirled around to face him. “We barely know each other.”
Patience shook her head. How could she make Julian understand how painful the evening had been for her—how inadequate she felt, even now when she was with him? Throughout the night his father had quietly pointed out Una’s qualities to Patience. Virtues, the man had made clear, she lacked.
Julian and Una shared a common past, and the woman didn’t have an ounce of English blood. The woman had flirted openly with Julian and ignored Patience. Something the Crianlarich had encouraged by having Una share tales of when she and Julian were children. Patience had been the only one excluded from the stories Una had regaled everyone with this evening.
Even Julian’s younger sister Muireall had heard of Julian’s and Una’s escapades before tonight. This evening’s dinner party had illustrated just how out of place and unwelcome Patience was at Crianlarich Castle. Worst of all, it made her believe the old adage of marrying in haste only to repent at leisure was true in their case. They barely knew anything about each other.
“We have the rest of our lives to learn about each other, mo ghràdh,” he said with quiet reassurance.
“But she already knows all about you. She knows your past. I don’t. Una Bensmore knows what makes you happy. I saw that tonight when you laughed at almost everything she said,” Patience said as her voice quavered. “I understand now what your father meant when he said I’m unworthy to bear the MacTavish name.”
“Unworthy—I do no’ give a damn what my father says,” Julian snarled as he closed the distance between. His large hands tenderly cupped her face. “You are more than worthy of bearing my name, Patience. You have Stewart blood in you, and do no’ forget that. But the only thing that really matters is that you make me happy simply by the fact that you chose me.”
Patience was abruptly jerked back into the present by the quiet knock on the bedroom door. Maggie, her maid, entered the room when Patience called out for the servant to enter. Patience forced a smile to her lips, and gestured toward the tray.
“I’m done with breakfast, Maggie.”
“Yes, my lady.” The maid picked up the tray then turned toward her. “Shall I come back to help you dress, Lady Patience?”
“No, I can manage. Thank you,” Patience said in a distracted voice.
She barely heard the maid leave the room. All she could see in her mind’s eye was Una staring up at her with a triumphant expression on her face. Until this moment, Patience had not realized how insecure her father-in-law’s vicious insinuations had made her feel about her marriage. Inwardly, she’d told herself to dismiss the man’s cruel words. She’d worked hard to forget the innuendos the laird had levied in her direction. She found it hard to believe the man she loved had married her simply to spite Fergus and defy the laird’s demand that Julian make Una Bensmore the next lady of Crianlarich Castle. But it was now clear how much damage the man’s words had done. The Crianlarich had cultivated doubt in her where her husband was concerned.
“You’re worried about nothing, Patience MacTavish,” she said to an empty room. “Julian told you the woman was nothing more than a friend.”
An insidious voice in her head reminded her that Julian had made no mention of a meeting with Una.
“Of course he wouldn’t,” Patience asserted with false confidence to the empty room. “He knows how much it would upset you. And the last thing the man wants is another argument like the one you had at Crianlarich Castle.”
“Yes, but what about his appointment with Lord Mayberry? He did look somewhat guilty when you questioned him, don’t you think?” replied a surreptitious voice in the back of her head.
“Now you’re being ridiculous,” she snapped as she sat down at the dressing table and glared at her reflection. “When Julian comes home, you’ll simply ask him why Una had met him at their front door and why he’d gone with her in the cab.”
A short while later she was seated at her secretaire working on her correspondence. As she worked her way through the stack of letters and invitations, she saw one from Louisa. Eagerly, she opened her sister’s letter and read the short note. It was an invitation for them to join the family at Westbrook Farms at the end of the week for a family celebration of Constance and Lucien’s engagement.
Julian and she always enjoyed the Rockwood family gatherings, and in a brief note, she accepted her youngest sister’s invitation. Finished with her correspondence, she decided the spring weather was lovely enough to spend the afternoon reading in the park.
Book in hand she made her way to Hyde Park. A number of acquaintances were enjoying the spring day like her, which were pleasant interruptions to her reading. It was late in the afternoon when she decided to return home. She closed her book and looked up to see Lord Mayberry heading her way.
With a smile, she rose from her bench and walked along the park’s graveled path toward the elderly gentleman. As they reached each other, he bowed in her direction.
“Good afternoon, Lady Patience,” he said with a jovial smile. “I see I’m not the only one enjoying the late afternoon warmth of this delightful spring day.”
“It is
lovely out isn’t it,” she said with a laugh. “I’m certain you’re happy to be outdoors after a long day of parliamentary matters.”
“Indeed. It has been a most contentious day.” Mayberry winced as if remembering something unpleasant.
“Well, I do hope Julian wasn’t one of the more argumentative moments of your day. My husband can be quite passionate about things that are important to him.”
“MacTavish? Was I supposed to meet with your husband today, Lady Patience? I know we met this past Thursday to discuss the land value tax, but I don’t believe we had an appointment for today.” Mayberry’s startled response made her heart slam into her chest with fear.
Julian had met with Lord Mayberry last week. Two days before he’d returned home to her. He’d lied to her. He’d lied about meeting with Lord Mayberry today, and he’d said nothing about returning to town this past Thursday. Of course, he’d never said he’d arrived on Saturday either. She’d simply assumed he’d returned from Crianlarich that afternoon and met her at Marlborough House for the royal couple’s annual ball. But he’d not bothered to mention it to her either.
Why would he lie? The memory of Julian climbing into Una’s hackney cab earlier in the day had never been far out of her thoughts. Now Lord Mayberry’s words had renewed the fears she’d managed to dismiss this morning. Her gaze met the elderly gentleman’s puzzled look and she realized she’d been silent far too long.
“I must have misunderstood Julian. I thought he’d said something about meeting with you today,” she said quietly as her throat threatened to swell shut.
“I don’t recall our discussing the need for another meeting when we met last Thursday, or was it Friday?” the man mused more to himself than Patience. The frown wrinkling his brow suddenly vanished to reflect confidence. “No, it was Thursday as it was the afternoon I met with Her Majesty’s cabinet.”