He ran his hands through his hair, wishing he had more time with his dad, wishing that he hadn’t stayed away for so long. Beating myself up over that decision isn’t going to bring him back. I’ve got to come to terms with it otherwise I’ll never move on. And I finally have something to look forward to, something I don’t want to mess up.
Slouching forward, he thought about his upcoming date with Jessica. Telling her to wear comfortable clothes was kind of a test. He was curious to see how well she could go with the flow. Today was important for him; taking her out this afternoon would let her in.
I don’t know if we’re on the same page, but I really want to see where this can go. No games. I’m going to be as open and honest as possible with her. He wanted to find out if that spark between them would ignite if given the chance. Something about her made him feel alive and alert again. He hadn’t felt that way in a long time; he was ready to move on with his life. If I can’t be myself with her right up front, what’s the point?
He pulled out his phone and dialed Jessica’s number, surprised at how anxious he was to hear her voice.
“Hello?”
“Jessica. Hey, it’s James.” He wiped his face with the sleeve of his t-shirt. “How’s it going?”
“Great! I’m really looking forward to seeing you this afternoon.”
She sounds excited, cool.
“So where can I find you later on? Can I pick you up around two?”
“I’m staying at the W on El Camino. Two would be perfect. I’m just finishing up some work here at the office and then I’ll be headed back.” Jessica cleared her throat. “So, um, about that text yesterday.”
James smiled and sat back on the bench, letting her take the lead. Here it comes.
“When you said comfortable clothes, what exactly did you mean? Are we talking like yoga pants and sneakers, jeans, shorts, flip-flops? I kind of need a little more direction.”
He tried hard to mask the laughter as he replied. “Well, I’ve got an outdoor activity planned so it means that you might want to table those heels of yours for another time.”
“You mean, if there is another time, right?” He detected a hint of amusement in her voice. “I don’t normally go out on dates where I’m instructed to dress down. Just saying.”
“So then maybe you really are as high maintenance as I thought,” James mused.
“Maybe so. I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”
A SWARM OF butterflies took flight in Jessica’s stomach when she saw James waiting outside the piano bar a few hours later. Jeez, what happened to a fun little fling? Shouldn’t I be a little more relaxed since I know it’s not going anywhere? Get a grip. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she crossed the lobby and sidled up behind him. “So. Am I dressed down enough for you?”
He spun around with a surprised smile, nodding as he took in her ensemble. Jessica decided that dressing down didn’t have to equate to sweatpants and a t-shirt so she opted for skinny jeans and a cleavage-revealing top instead.
“Definitely.”
“You know, I’m not used to being this short.” She gazed up at him with a demure look.
“I wouldn’t worry too much about that. You’ve got a pretty big presence.” He winked. “Shall we?”
Jessica giggled. “We shall. By the way, where are you taking me?”
“Nervous?”
“Well, I have to say I’m more than a little curious, especially about the scope of activity.” She twirled a loose wisp of hair around her finger.
“I’m sure you are. How do you feel about baseball?”
“Um, playing it or watching it? Because my answer will vary.”
He laughed. “Actually, listening to it.”
Whaaaa?
Taking her hand, he led her out of the main entrance and over to a gleaming black Integra sitting next to the valet booth.
“Wow, this is the cleanest car I’ve ever seen!”
James opened the door and she slid into the front seat. “You should have seen it about half an hour ago. It was borderline offensive. I was afraid you might refuse to get in.”
“I feel so honored that my big presence warranted a good detailing. Now, when are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
James gave a mysterious smile. “You’ll find out soon enough.”
He maneuvered the car onto the freeway, lowering the windows so the cool breeze could wash over them. “It’s not too windy for you, is it?”
“No, it feels really nice. You know, I have to tell you something. I’m the type who really likes to know all aspects of a situation before I head into it. I really don’t like surprises.” Jessica spotted a sign along 1-280 for AT&T Park. “Aha! Giants game?”
“Yep.”
“So, we’re rivals then.” Jessica grinned. “I’m a Mets fan. Is this going to be an issue?”
He laughed. “Hardly. I’m actually a Cubs fan.”
“How’d that happen?”
He shrugged, pulling into the parking lot. “Don’t really remember, I just always was. It was a pretty big disappointment to my dad. He had his heart set on having a son who was as big of a Giants fan as he was.”
“Is it still a source of contention? Or has your dad just given up on you?” Jessica teased. “I don’t know how I’d handle one of my kids being a Yankee fan…”
James switched off the ignition and looked at Jessica with a sad smile. “It’s kind of moot now. He passed away six months ago.”
Jessica gasped, covering her mouth. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry…that was so insensitive of me…” Dammit, why did I have to say anything?
“How could you know? It’s fine, really. That’s the reason why I left Cambridge, so I could be here for my mom.”
She shook her head. “I feel so terrible for you. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been.”
James jogged over to the passenger side to open her door. She took his hand, still frazzled and uncertain of what to say next.
He popped the trunk open and pulled out a baseball glove, a backpack and a transistor radio. “It was a struggle for a long time. After he died, everything kind of faded out for a while. We were really close and I felt guilty because I was away when it happened. I was supposed to come back here that weekend and I cancelled at the last minute for an investor meeting. He was in a car accident the night I was scheduled to fly in.” Intense pain was evident in his eyes. “If I’d come back, he never would have been in that accident. It’s been a really tough pill to swallow.”
“James, I don’t know what to say…” Oh my God, this poor guy. Her heart broke for him. He’s suffering so much. I can’t imagine how it must feel to lose a parent. The relationship between Jessica and her own dad was rocky at best but she’d be devastated if he was gone from her life forever.
“I’m sorry to lay all that on you. But to be honest, those feelings kept me pretty secluded over the past few months. I focused on work, not really bothering with the outside world. Until you came along and barreled into me with your coffee.” James gave her a small smile and closed the trunk. “My dad took me here a lot when I was younger. This place has a lot of meaning for me. That’s why I wanted to share it with you.”
Jessica was stunned at his candor. “Really?”
“Yes. I can’t explain why I feel this way, but I know you’re special. I just get a feeling. Bringing you here means a lot to me. We don’t have a lot of time to figure this whole thing out before you go back to New York so I wanted to make today count. You cool with that?”
She nodded, still speechless. She’d never met a guy who was so direct with his feelings. But this can’t become anything. It’s just supposed to be for fun.
“I’ve never taken anyone here before. I guess I thought it would be too much right after my dad died. But something made me want to bring you.”
She felt her heart flutter. “I’m glad you did.”
“I hope I didn’t lay too much on you.”
/> Jessica shook her head. “I didn’t anticipate this at all when I came out here. Running into you three times was completely unexpected. I’ve been so focused on my own work lately that I haven’t really dated much over the past months. I guess it’s true what they say about meeting people when you’re not really looking, huh?”
James took her hand and led her toward the park. “LazerShark keeps me pretty busy so it’s been a good distraction. There’s been so much going on. Seems like Chris and I have been attached at the hip.” He chuckled.
“Well, don’t be jealous but my weekends have been pretty exciting lately, lots of wine, Starburst jelly beans, Lifetime movies and Sudoku.” Jessica giggled.
“I’m glad you made an exception for me.” James gave her hand a little squeeze.
“Hey, where are our seats?” Jessica waved towards the stadium entrance. “Is the game so crowded that we’re going to listen from the pier?”
“Nah, you’ve got to give me a little more credit than that.” He pointed toward what looked like a dock. “That’s where we’re going.”
Um, he didn’t tell me to wear a bathing suit.
Then the sign caught her eye. City Kayak? Oh please tell me I’m seeing things.
“Uh, are we going kayaking?” Jessica tried hard to keep her voice even.
James burst out laughing. “I told you to trust me, right?”
“Mmm hmmm.” Oh for chrissakes, I can’t do this! Can’t even fake it! Not fun!
He winked at her. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”
“You know this is way out of my comfort zone, right? The whole outdoorsy thing? I know you know that. You seem like a pretty perceptive guy.”
“Yeah, I got that. But it’s a beautiful day and I’m an accomplished kayaker. You’ll be perfectly safe. And who knows? We might even catch a fly ball out here.”
“Hence the reason for the glove?”
“Yep.” He gave his name to the manager and paid for the rental. James handed Jessica a life jacket and slipped one on over his t-shirt.
Okay, here goes nothing. Most interesting first date ever.
She secured the life vest around her chest and followed James over to the ramp where their two-person kayak was waiting. Oh crap, it’s so small! I’m too claustrophobic for this little adventure. Come on, breathe Jess! You can do this!
James stepped in and held out his hand. “Just hop in. I’ve got you.”
Talk about a leap of faith, huh? Jessica took a deep breath and jumped off the dock, landing perfectly in the center of the kayak.
“Nice job. You’re already a pro.”
“I’ll help out as much as I can with the paddling but keep your expectations in check…”
James laughed. “No need. Just sit back and enjoy. It’ll only take about fifteen minutes or so to get to the cove.” He handed her a bottle of water as they settled in. “Thirsty?”
“Very.”
He rowed away from the pier toward the cove. She admired how his muscles rippled under the thin t-shirt as he worked the paddles. Mmm, so delicious. She wondered how it would feel to have his arms wrapped around her, how safe and protected she would feel in his embrace. Stop! I don’t need to feel protected!
“Wow, there are so many people out here! Is this whole kayaking experience a really big thing?”
James nodded. “Yeah, this is where Giants fans come to tailgate. It’s a really cool attraction. Tons of tourists visit here every season. It’s even better at night. The stadium lights illuminate the whole cove.” He took a break for a second and flexed his arms, flashing Jessica a sheepish grin. “Only problem is that the current is kind of strong and we’re paddling against it right now.”
Jessica giggled. “Oh, come on, a big strong guy like you can definitely handle it.”
“Whew! It’s gotten really hot, huh?” James shaded his eyes and dug around the backpack for his sunglasses.
“Now who’s the high maintenance one? You sure you don’t want to backpedal on that assessment yet?” Jessica raised an eyebrow.
“Well, we do have a whole nine innings to get through.” A sly smile appeared. “I think I should get some more time to make a fair judgment.”
Jessica shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
“Hey, check it out! There’s the big screen, can you see it?” James pointed to the top of the stadium and flipped on the radio. “Damn AM radio, I hate static.” He twisted the knob, trying to get a clear signal. “Okay, there we go.”
“This is really fantastic. Thank you for taking me out here. I’m having a great time with you.”
His blue eyes twinkled in the sunlight. “So, you’re open to roughing it a little bit? I didn’t scare you off yet?”
Jessica tilted her head. “No, you haven’t scared me off. And no, I’m really not okay with roughing it, but being with you makes it bearable.”
“Awesome. Because I have to admit I was nervous.” He took a sip of his water. “In all seriousness, since I haven’t really dated that much lately, I guess I’m a little out of practice. Maybe I should have taken you to a really fancy dinner to make a better impression.”
“Listen, let’s not talk about making impressions. I’m sure you could have done without the first one I left.”
“Yeah, but here we are…”
Their eyes locked. Oh Lord…
“Here we are. So that tells me you’re either a glutton for punishment or you really are desperate for dates.” She winked.
“Or maybe I just knew you were worth the risk.” James grinned as he moved the paddles aside. “So, how long have you lived in New York? Do you like it there?”
“Oh yeah, I love it. I moved there right after graduation when I started working at DMC. It’s such an amazing city. Ever been?”
“Only a couple of times to meet with investors for LazerShark. But it’s never really been my speed. I guess I got used to a slower pace living in Cambridge for four years.”
“It’s nice,” Jessica mused. “To sit back and relax a little, not get so caught up in the whole rat race. The quality of life is just better out here, but I don’t know. I think I’m too tightly wound. Maybe I thrive on the stress.”
“Life’s too short. I get it now, after all this time. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching lately and I don’t want to miss out on living anymore. I want to enjoy as much as I can without having to be bogged down with worries. You never know when your time’s up.” He snapped his fingers. “It can happen just like that.”
“You’re right, the small stuff really isn’t that important.” She hesitated, not knowing what to say next.
He stroked her hand. “I decided I’d rather take a chance on something…or someone…then wonder if things might have been different if I wasn’t afraid to try.”
Jessica’s heart pounded as he stared at her. She saw the hope alive in his eyes. He says that now. But will he still feel that strongly once he finds out I’m sick? Will he still want me then? I don’t want to find out, it’s better if we keep this light. But she couldn’t ignore the unmistakable connection between them. It was almost strong enough to trump her fears and insecurities, at least for the short-term.
“I know the long-distance thing isn’t appealing, especially since we don’t really know each other.” It was almost as if he was reading her exact thoughts. “I’m just asking you to give this a fair shot, to see if it’s even worth pursuing. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, next week or even next month. But I’m okay with that.” He sat back on his elbows, flashing her a dimpled smile. “It took me a long time to reach that conclusion.”
Jessica looked down for a few seconds, remembering how much pain she’d experienced in recent months. She picked the wrong guy and was ready to live the rest of her life with him. But now I have a second chance with someone who’s confident that he made the right choice with me. “Things don’t always happen the way we want. I think the best-case scenario is finding someone who shares your goals for the
future and wants to grow together as a unit, no matter what challenges and obstacles get thrown in the way. And if that happens, shouldn’t we just go for it?”
James smiled. “You’re pretty insightful.”
“Interesting observation, since most times I feel like I can’t see past my nose.” She let out small laugh with her admission.
“Did you have some big enlightening experience?”
“Isn’t that how all great pearls of wisdom are formed?” She snickered. “But yes, I was engaged before. I met him in New York at an alumni event and we dated for a couple of years. We just weren’t compatible, and even though deep down I knew something was off, I still went through the motions. In the end, we both wanted different things out of life and when I realized he wasn’t as committed to our relationship as I was, I walked away.” Okay, not a total fabrication but that’s as far as the story is going right now.
“He made a huge mistake letting you go.”
“That’s what you say now, but maybe he was on to something.” Jessica shrugged and let out a deep sigh as James chuckled.
“Anyway, that’s really when I became a total workaholic.” She took another drink. “I threw everything I had into my job and took a break from the dating scene for a while. If I worked hard, I could get a promotion. No risk, lots of reward. It was just safer.”
“I know what you mean. But it gets lonely.”
“Yeah, it does.” She nodded. “How about you? Any relationship devastation to speak of?”
James smirked. “Isn’t there always? When I was a junior, I started my first business with a guy I’d known for a few years. His family had a lot of government connections. We were building an aerospace system we wanted to pitch for use at NASA. I was always a space buff, so it was like a dream for me to build something that could be used by our astronauts. At the same time, I started dating a girl pretty seriously. She spent a lot of time with us since we worked almost non-stop, and one weekend when I was laid up with a broken ankle, he went skiing with her and her friends and they hooked up. I didn’t find out until about a month later, though.”
Unlikely Venture (The Venture Series Book 1) Page 8