by Kelli Walker
“You’re the one that’s always saying a relationship is about compromise. And now, you’re not willing to compromise a damn thing.”
“You don’t compromise on children. If there’s one topic no two people who ever compromise on, it’s children. They’re helpless. They can’t help the circumstance they’re born into. How selfish would it be of us to ‘compromise’ on helpless lives just to try and force something to work?” I asked.
“Why is this even an issue anyway? We wanted children when we first got together.”
“No, we didn’t. I didn’t. I never said that. We never had that conversation. This is the first time it’s happening.”
“Callie, you didn’t have to. We didn’t have to. I see the way you are with children. They flock to you. They love you. How could you not want any of your own when you’re so good with them. It’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with you.”
“Just because I’m good with kids doesn’t mean I want kids. It doesn’t mean I want to raise them.”
“So, I just spent the last six years of my life with a woman who had no intentions to spend the rest of her life with me?
“No, you didn’t. But instead of having these conversations, we simply made assumptions. You and I both did. Our communication is shot, and while we got better, we still didn’t talk about the big things. And that drove a rift between us. A rift that I think ultimately led to my pulling away and your infidelity.”
“So you do admit that you pulled away,” he said.
“I admit that I dove a little too far into my schooling in order to distract myself from the path we were heading down, yes.”
“So, this isn’t all me. You’re admitting that.”
“It takes two to make something like this work and it takes two to break something like this.”
“Callie, I spent too much time with you to not invest long-term in this. Why are you doing this now?” he asked.
“I’m not a business associate, Matthew. I’m not some investment portfolio. I’m not the stock market. I’m a person, and I’m a person that didn’t work out for you. But through this conversation--through giving you what you wanted--I hope you finally see that compatibility-wise, we don’t work for the long-term.”
Something flashed behind Matthew’s eyes and it made me nervous. I watched his hands curl around the arms of the chair and I pressed myself further back into mine. I felt every muscle in my body tense. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. And when he stood to his feet and loomed over me, I knew I was in trouble.
“So, I made all of these plans and took you on all of these vacations and put down payments on all of this shit just so you could selfishly throw it out the window? I made a place for you in my future, monetarily and emotionally, and now you’re turning your back on it? I defended you to my father and convinced my mother that you were worth the time, and you think you can just hand that all back and everything’s going to be hunky dory? I could have saved my money on you, Callie! I could have spent it on a woman who made plans for me. Who considered me in her future instead of selfishly wanting me to tailor all of myself to her. You think I’m trying to make you compromise on your life, but you have no idea the compromises I’ve made to made your degree possible. To make our love possible. To make this relationship possible! Hell, I could have spent half as much money on another woman as I did you and I could have gotten my cock sucked twice as more!”
I flew up from my seat to defend myself as the front door burst open. It slammed against the wall inside the house, and in a flash Colton was on the porch. He slid in front of me, going toe-to-toe with Matthew as I stood there with tears in my eyes. I felt my hands shaking. My knees knocking together. I raised my hand and put it on the small of Colton’s back, then curled my fingers into his shirt.
I needed him to ground me, because I felt myself falling apart.
“You need to go ahead and make your exit now, Matthew,” Colt said.
“We aren’t done talking,” Matthew said.
“Yes, we are,” I said.
“We don’t have a conclusion yet. We sure as hell aren’t done,” Matthew said.
“The conclusion is that we’re done.”
I shot my gaze over Colton’s shoulder and connected my watery gaze to Matthew’s.
“We’re over, Matthew. We aren’t getting married and I’m not coming back. So, it’s time for you to leave,” I said.
Matthew’s eyes darted between mine and Colton’s before they narrowed. My hand trembled against Colt’s back as he reached around and wrapped his hand deftly around my wrist. Trying to comfort me as I drew in deep breaths through my nose. Matthew’s look made me nervous. Being this close to Colton made me nervous. Everything about this situation made me nervous and I didn’t know why.
Until Matthew spoke again.
“What’s going on here?” he asked.
“You’re leaving, that’s what’s going on,” Colt said.
“No, between the two of you,” he said.
“Nothing’s going on,” I said as my eyes hooked with Matthew’s.
But I knew that look in his eye. I didn’t know how he knew, and I didn’t know how he read the situation as well as he did, but he knew.
And that wasn’t good.
“Callie, that’s disgusting,” Matthew said.
“Get off this porch now,” Colt said hotly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said breathlessly.
“Well, I do. I’ve been with you for six years, Cal. I know the face you get after you’ve been thoroughly fucked and satisfied by someone. You carry that glow about you for weeks when you’re dicked well,” Matthew said.
I felt every muscle in Colt’s back tense against my hand as his fists clenched at his sides. I stepped out from around him and looked up into his face. There was fire trickling through his icy blue stare. His veins pulsed with anger and his muscles twitched with fury.
I had to find a way to diffuse the situation.
“Matthew, I really do think you need to leave,” I said.
“I don’t know how the hell you could screw around with your uncle, but good fucking riddance. Nasty woman.”
He scoffed and shook his head before he moved to pass by myself and Colt. But he reached out quickly and fisted Matthew’s suit, dragging him back to his original spot. I yelped at the quickness of the action, then placed my hand on Colt’s arm. He held Matthew up on his tiptoes, staring down his nose as Matthew’s lips curled downward in deep disgust for what he had just found out.
“You have no right to judge based on what you’ve done. You can expect the police to be at your door by the end of the day with a restraining order in place,” Colt said.
I didn’t think the situation could get any worse. As the two of them stared one another down, I didn’t think things could escalate any further than they already had.
And then, it did.
“What the hell is he doing here and what the hell is he talking about?”
My blood froze in my veins. Tears flooded my vision. I looked between the bodies of Colt and Matthew, peering straight into my father’s eyes. I had no idea how long he had been standing there. No idea how long he had been listening. But as my heart stopped in my chest and my mind came to a roaring halt, I knew things were about to change forever.
I just didn’t know how much.
Colton
The only thing holding me in my spot with Matthew’s pathetic existence in the palm of my hand was the heat of Callie’s hand on my arm. I had the little snake in my claws and the only thing I wanted to do was beat his face in until it was unrecognizable. How dare he come onto our porch and address Callie that way. How dare he think he could loom over her the way he had been. How dare he come to our house and make the types of judgments he was after the choices he had made himself. But my brother’s voice pierced through the haze of my anger, sobering me up as I slowly released Matthew’s suit.
I wa
tched the boy shrug off my grasp before he ran his hands down the front of his body.
He shoved past Callie and myself, and his arm knocked her off her feet. I reached out and wrapped my arms around her waist to keep her from falling the concrete. I gazed into her eyes. Those beautiful eyes I’d fallen in love with when she was only nineteen years old. I felt my chest clench as she licked her lips, her arms laced tightly around my neck.
“Are you all right?” I asked.
She nodded her head and I proceeded to help her onto her feet.
I saw the tears of fear in her eyes. I saw the shock written all over her features. I panned my gaze over to Clay and watched as he reached his arm out for Matthew and wrapped his hand around the boy’s arm. He dragged that asshole back, stumbling him on his feet until the two of them were face to face. Then, I heard Clay deliver the final blow to a boy I prayed stayed away from this house after what he had just pulled.
“If I ever see you on my doorstep again, whether you’ve been invited or not, I’ll have you arrested. This is my property. Not hers. You will not ever step foot on it again. Do you understand?”
Matthew scoffed and tried to pull away, but my brother tightened his grasp.
“Do you understand?” Clay repeated.
“You better let me go, old man,” Matthew said.
“Not until I know you understand the words coming out of my mouth.”
The two of them stared the other down before Matthew curly nodded his head.
Clay let him go and we all watched as he made his way to his car. He couldn't get to it fast enough. The force of his own legs carrying him as fast as he could caused the boy to keep stumbling over himself and it caused me to grin. But when Matthew squealed down the road and left the three of us standing on the porch, I caught my brother’s fiery glance.
And the second Clay dropped his briefcase onto the welcome mat, Callie started rambling.
“Daddy. You need to calm down. Daddy, please. Just look at me. Listen to me for a second, okay?”
But Clay began his journey towards me, ignoring the pleas of his daughter. Callie went on in the background, trying to reason her way out the situation as I stood my ground. It was the only thing I could do. He knew. I knew he knew. And the anger in his eyes was exactly the reaction I expected. I had to own up to what had happened. That was what any decent man would do in a situation like this. Because the second I backed away or backed down in any form, it would look like I felt as if I had made a mistake.
And Callie was anything but a mistake.
“How much merit is there to what Matthew said?” Clay asked.
“Daddy, please,” Callie whispered.
“It was only once,” I said.
“Holy shit,” Clay groaned.
“Nothing has been going on between Callie and I until a few weeks ago,” I said.
“I cannot believe this,” Clay growled.
“Neither of us had touched or spoken in any sort of inappropriate manner until she came back from school a few weeks ago. That’s it,” I said.
But before I could get another word out of my mouth, my jaw started to pound and I was staring at the concrete.
“Daddy! What did you do!?” Callie exclaimed.
“How could you do that!?” Clay roared.
“Daddy, stop. Please,” Callie cried out.
“That’s my little girl!” Clay exclaimed.
“I’m begging you, Dad. Please stop.”
I heard the tears in Callie’s voice, but the pain in my head was too great to pick myself back up.
“She’s your niece! You may not have legally adopted her as such, but she’s still your damn niece! You helped raise her, for fuck’s sake! You took her to and from elementary school and took her shopping for clothes. You helped her through her first fucking heartache, Colton!”
“I’m just as responsible, Dad. It was a mutual thing. I wanted it just as much as he did,” Callie said.
Callie’s voice hit my ears and her words shot straight to my heart. Was it true? Did she mean what she was just said? Or was she saying that simply to try and take the heat off me?
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Callie. And that's fine. You’re in an emotionally vulnerable place right now, and I get that. I was in that same place after your mother passed,” Clay said.
“Why the hell does everything think that just because I ended an engagement with some jerk that I can’t navigate my own life without some emotional baggage being the reason for my actions!?”
“You won’t take that tone with me, young lady. Calm your voice down,” Clay said.
“Calm down? Are you serious, Dad? I’ll take whatever tone I need to in order to get you to listen to me. Look at what you just did!”
I managed to get myself onto my knees as blood and spit trickled from my lip, falling onto the concrete below me. My jaw ached and my lips were on fire. My head spun with the force of the concrete against my temple. Holy shit, my brother had a mean left hook.
Where the hell had he been hiding that all those years?
“You just hit your own brother, Dad. That isn’t okay no matter how you slice it” Callie said.
“He took advantage of you. You came home with a broken heart and he swooped in when he saw you needed comfort. I know my brother. I know that’s what he did to you,” Clay said.
“No, he didn’t, Dad. He didn’t do any of that. Because if I didn’t want what happened between us, I would have told him to stop. And I know he would have stopped. Because I know him, too, Daddy. I know Colt. He would have stopped if I had asked, and I didn’t. Because I didn’t want him to stop. I made that decision just as much as he did. Does that mean you’re going to hit me, too?”
“What? No,” Clay said.
“Then why the hell did you just hit your own flesh and blood?” she asked.
“You think you understand how to navigate your emotions right now, but they’re running high. And as a psychologist, you should know that your entire train of thinking is compromised based on a major life event that has taken place. You broke off an engagement with a man who slaughtered your name in the media. That takes a toll on anyone. Even you, Callie. No matter how strong you are.”
“I wanted it, Dad. And in some ways, I always have.”
“You what?” Clay asked.
I heard his voice drop into that octave and I flew off the ground. I recognized that tone of voice. It was the tone he always gave me before sinking his jaws into my jugular. And that shit wasn’t happening. Callie had endured enough men charging at her with commanding tones, and it was going to stop no matter what I had to do. I shoved myself in between her and my brother, my eyes staring into Clay’s as blood dripped down my chin. His nostrils flared. Anger boiled over in his stare. His fists clenched at his sides just like mine did whenever I was upset, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to move.
This wasn't Callie’s issue to field. It was mine.
“If you have any questions regarding anything that has happened, you can address me. But you won’t address her any longer. Are we clear?” I asked.
“That’s my daughter, Colt. That might not mean anything to you, but it does to me. Now, get your ass out of the way,” he said.
“No. Because I didn’t simply help raise her. I helped protect her. And that’s what I’m doing now.”
“Callie, we need to talk. Inside. Now,” Clay said.
“Not. Until. You cool. Down,” I enunciated.
Clay growled as he stormed away from us both and picked up his briefcase. He stormed in through the open front door and I reached behind for Callie. I wanted to take her in my arms and make sure she was all right. I wanted to pull her close and comfort her and let her know that I would take care of all this. That she wouldn't have to worry about a thing. But as I reached around for her body, I felt her rush out from behind me. I watched her scurry towards the front door, reach in for her purse, and sprint as quickly as she could towards her car.
But she didn’t stop running. She didn’t stop moving until she shoved herself behind the wheel of her car and peeled out of the driveway. And as I stood there on the porch with blood dripping onto the front of my shirt, I fought between my want to chase after her and my want to go fix things with my brother.
If things were even fixable, at this point.
Callie
After wiping away my tears and taking a few deep breaths, I stepped out of my car. I couldn't recall how many times I’d crossed that parking lot and walked down that walkway. I couldn’t recall how many gallons of tears I’d shed along that cobblestone pathway. I couldn't recall how many bouquets of flowers I’d nestled next to that tombstone before sitting beside her grave and mindlessly talking.
I couldn't recall how many times I’d needed my mother over the past few years.
“Hey there, Mom,” I said as I laid down the flowers.
My eyes took in her newly-minted headstone. A birthday gift my father got for her this past year. Her tombstone had been weathered and started fading. Something that made me sick. My mother didn’t deserve a faded tombstone, because she’d never fade. I’d always cling to the memories of us, no matter how much time had passed. I went to my father crying over it one day and he placed an order an hour later to have it updated.
I didn’t want there to be any indication of the myth that she had been forgotten about.
I could never forget my own mother.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to get back out here. But school has been absolutely grueling.”
I sighed as I sat down, crossing my legs and smoothing my hand over the place where I thought her head might by. What I wouldn’t give to feel the softness of her hair again.
“School’s been good. I finished up my first year of my Master’s program four weeks ago. I’m home for the summer. I thought about getting a summer job and staying around campus, but things with Matthew got tough and I decided that maybe coming home was for the best.”