Be Good

by Dakota Madison

  “Okay,” Jake agreed. I could tell he wanted to ask me why but we really didn’t have a close relationship.

  “Thanks,” I said and turned to leave.

  It surprised me when I heard Jake say, “Is everything okay?”

  I didn’t want to laugh in his face but that was such a stupid question to ask his completely fucked-up little sister. Okay was not a word I would use to describe anything about my life. “Sure,” I lied. “Everything is fine.”

  Three

  On the plane, I was seated next to a huge man, who had purchased two seats to accommodate his wide girth. He was sweating profusely and I hoped he didn’t have a heart attack before we landed.

  I was seriously doubting my wardrobe choices but I had no idea what to pack. First, I had never been to Palo Alto, so I had no idea what people there wore or what the weather was like. The internet said it was going to be 65 degrees all weekend and overcast. I lived in Phoenix my entire life and was used to seasons of hot and very hot. Phoenix was almost always sunny. My wardrobe wasn’t exactly conducive to overcast skies and 65 degrees. Second, I had no idea what the agenda for the weekend was except probably sex. I emailed my flight itinerary to Brett but he only emailed a short note back confirming that he’d be there to pick me up and apologizing that he couldn’t talk much because he had a lot of work to do. He said he wanted to make sure he had no work to take home over the weekend, which I thought was kind of sweet.

  I noticed the large guy sitting next to me was asleep, which calmed my nerves at bit. I really didn’t want to have to give him CPR, or anything like that. Not that I actually remembered the details from what we learned about the procedure in high school health class. I was too busy flirting with the captain of the football team, who happened to be assigned to seat right next to me. For the first time, I felt a twinge of regret. Maybe if I had paid more attention to what was going on in school and less attention to the boys sitting next to me, I would have an actual career instead of barely getting through college with a major in communication (the only credits I could patch together in my abysmal transcript) and end up working at my brother’s law firm.

  When the plane landed, I actually started to panic. At first, I thought I was the one having a heart attack then I realized I was scared out of my mind. Hard to believe that someone, who most people said was fearless, was actually scared to see a guy.

  “Are you okay,” the big guy next to me asked as we pulled into the jet way. Sweat was pouring down his face again. If he thought there was something wrong, I obviously looked bad. “Afraid of flying?”

  I shook my head. “No, just a guy.”

  The man laughed a big hearty laugh that made his fat jiggle. “I’m sure someone as cute as you has nothing to worry about.”

  If you only knew, I thought. If you only knew…

  Brett was waiting for me front and center of the large crowd of people waiting for their loved ones and friends to deplane. That made me wonder what I was to him. I wasn’t really a friend and I definitely wasn’t a loved one. Did he think I’d be some kind of long distance fuck buddy, perhaps? I guess I’d find out in…three…two…one!

  I could see Brett’s green eyes light up as soon as he spotted me. He was wearing black dress jeans and a white button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. If I’d never met him before and didn’t know anything about his past, I wouldn’t peg him as a geek at all. He actually looked semi-hot.

  When I approached, he gave me a warm smile. He surprised me with a small bouquet of flowers he had been holding behind his back. They were garden flowers tied with a ribbon. It was the kind of bouquet you’d expect a sixth grade boy to give to the teacher he had a crush on. It was exceptionally cute.

  “Thank you for the flowers.”

  “I grew them. They’re from my garden.”

  That may have been the last thing I expected him to say. I could feel that damn withered heart of mine start to expand again. Brett had that effect on me.

  Then he bent down and gave me a light kiss on the forehead. “I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered. I could feel his breath on my cheek and it made me tingle. I thought he might try to touch me, or kiss my lips, or hug me but he did none of those things. He simply put his hands in his pockets and said, “Come on. Let’s get your bags.”

  Brett didn’t live that far from the airport but the trip seemed to take forever in traffic. I noticed he was playing Pearl Jam on his car stereo and that made my smile. I wasn’t surprised he drove a Toyota Prius. I should have guessed he’d be a hybrid owner. It seemed to fit his personality. Not that I really knew him. I hardly knew him at all. But it fit what I knew about him and what I sensed about him.

  “Thanks again for inviting me.”

  “Thanks for coming to visit me.”

  I liked watching Brett drive. It was one of the few places I’d seen him look so confident and sure of himself. It kind of turned me on.

  “So, you work for NASA? That’s impressive.”

  “I guess so.”

  “Do you like it?”

  “I love it.”

  “Do people ever give you shit about being a rocket scientist?”

  He laughed. “What do you think?”

  “They’re just jealous.”

  “Maybe,” he said but I didn’t think he believed me. “Do you like your job as a paralegal?”

  “I work for my brother’s law firm. It was pretty much the only job I could get.”

  “You didn’t really answer my question.”

  I sighed. “Sometimes, when I’m sitting in my cubicle, I think beating my head against the desk would be less painful than my job.”

  “That good, huh” he teased.

  “It’s my dream job,” I joked.

  “What is your dream job? Your real one. If you could do anything in the world, what would you do?”

  My first response was to shrug. I had never thought about what I really wanted to do with my life. I usually never thought beyond the weekend and the next party.

  “I have no idea,” I said finally.

  Brett was quiet for a moment, then he said, “Well, what did you want to be when you were little?”

  “Grown up,” I said without hesitation. “From the time I was eight years old, I can remember wanting to be pretty and popular and the life of the party.”

  “Well, you are all those things.” He was quiet for a moment then he said, “What about being a party planner?”

  I had never thought about it. Did people actually get paid to plan parties? If so, that was the job I wanted.

  He continued. “We could do some research on it and see if it’s a viable profession.”

  “Thanks. That would mean a lot to me.”

  I could see a small smile form in the corner of Brett’s face.

  By the time we got to his place, I felt exhausted. Traveling always wore me out. All I wanted to do was have a hot shower and go to sleep.

  Brett’s townhouse was amazing. It made my tiny apartment seem like a dump, which it really wasn’t, but it wasn’t nice either. Winter and I lived marginally better than I did when I was in college, when I actually did live in a dump. Winter and I had what you might call a starter apartment.

  Brett’s place was no starter. The townhouse was expertly decorated and looked like a model home or the feature story in a home design magazine.

  When I glanced over at Brett, his face was lined with tension. I hoped he wasn’t regretting inviting me to spend the weekend with him.

  “Well, what do you think?” He motioned around the place. He seemed to be holding his breath waiting for my response.

  “It’s incredible—truly spectacular.”

  He breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad you like it. It’s already paid for so I’m kind of stuck here for a while.”

  “You own this place?” I tried not to sound too shocked.

  He suddenly looked embarrassed.

  “That’s not a bad thing,” I s
aid quickly. “It’s just…we’ve only been out of college a year. I know you have a great job but this place must have cost a fortune.”

  He nodded. “I inherited some money when my aunt passed away. I was her only nephew. It was enough to buy this place. I did a few internships when I was in college and saved enough money for all of the furniture and decor.”

  I was so impressed with everything about Brett but at the same time, I could feel myself shrinking. For the first time in my life, I felt intimidated by a guy.

  “Let me show you to your room.” Brett grabbed my bag and we headed up the stairs.

  There were two fully decorated guest bedrooms with a bathroom between them. There was also a small open study, where Brett had a desk and computer, and what looked like a gaming area with a sleek flat screen television and video games.

  “You can stay in either room,” Brett offered. “But I thought you might like this one better.”

  He led me into a room that was decorated in beautiful floral prints like a Monet painting.

  “I call it my garden room,” he said as he placed my bag on the twin bed.

  By this time, my head was spinning out of control. Why was he putting me in a guest bedroom? I had assumed we’d be sleeping in his bedroom. Why didn’t he want me in his room? What was I even doing here? Had I made a big mistake? I could feel my heart start to race and I actually felt lightheaded with all the thoughts swirling around inside it. I must have looked panicked because Brett looked at me with deep concern in his eyes.

  “Are you okay? Here, sit down.” He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him, urging me to sit next to him.

  I did. Then I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself.

  “What do you want, Brett?” I asked as I looked into his eyes.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Why am I here?”

  He looked like he wanted to touch me but he didn’t. “I want to get to know you better.”

  He looked down at the flowered comforter on the bed and we sat in silence for a minute. Then he glanced up at me and said, “I just want you to know that I’m not going to sleep with you this weekend.”

  Why not, was my first response, but I kept it to myself. Guys always wanted to sleep with me and that’s usually all they wanted. But that certainly explained why I was in the guest bedroom. I let him continue.

  “I should have never slept with you at the wedding. It was a mistake and I’m sorry. I already told you why I did it but that was stupid. That wasn’t me. I’m not that guy.”

  I wanted to ask him what he meant by that guy but I had a feeling I already knew. He wasn’t the love-m-and-leave-m type. He was the falls-in-love-and-gets-engaged type. At some point, I would bring up Miss Sweater Vest and the fact that he neglected to mention they were engaged but that was a conversation for another time.

  “I want to take things slow and get to know you, Anna.”

  I had no idea how to take things slow. I never bothered to really get to know any of the guys I had been with and they sure as hell never bothered to get to know me. This was completely uncharted territory for me. But there was something about Brett, about the way he made me feel, that made me want to at least try.

  “Okay,” I agreed. Then I leaned over and kissed Brett’s cheek. He gulped then gave me a half smile. When he looked at me, he had so much tenderness in his eyes, it took my breath away for a moment.

  He softly brushed his hand down my cheek, just like guys did in the movies. It always looked so romantic and I wondered if guys ever did it in real life. A slight shiver ran through me as I felt his light touch on my skin.

  “I want to kiss you right now,” he said softly and he stroked my cheek again. His eyes were glued on mine. I instinctively bit my bottom lip. “But I’m going to wait.”

  Then he got up and placed his hands in his pockets. “Sleep well, Anna,” he said and walked out.

  Brett’s guest bed could have been the most comfortable bed I ever slept in in my entire life. His headboard was covered with overstuffed pillows and the mattress felt like I was sleeping on a cloud. The air was chilly but the comforter was fluffy and warm. I felt like I was in a cozy cocoon. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell into a deep and restful sleep.

  Bacon. And coffee. And pancakes. I was awakened by the delicious smells of my favorite breakfast foods. I stretched and groaned when I realized I’d have to get up from the cuddly bed. I had just emotionally prepared myself for getting up when there was a soft knock on the door.

  “Come in,” I responded.

  Brett entered with a tray overflowing with breakfast foods. “I hope you’re hungry,” he said as he set the tray down next to me.

  “I’m starving,” I said as I looked at the pancakes with butter and syrup, bacon, and scrambled eggs. He also had coffee and orange juice. “This is too much. You didn’t have to go to so much trouble.”

  I loved breakfast foods but I usually got up so late I had to grab an energy bar and eat it in the car on the way to work. On weekends, I was usually out so late that I slept through breakfast and ended up eating a very late lunch/early dinner.

  “It was no trouble at all and I wanted to cook for you.”

  He smiled and my withered heart started to blossom. At this rate, my desolate heart would be in full bloom in no time.

  “Dig in,” he encouraged.

  I picked up the fork and took a bite of the pancakes. “Delicious.” They really were good, light and fluffy.

  I noticed Brett was just sitting on the edge of the bed watching me eat. I was suddenly self-conscious. “Aren’t you going to have any?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “I made it for you.”

  “I can’t eat all of this. It’s enough for a small army. Please share it with me.”

  He grinned. “If you insist.”

  I noticed he had placed an extra set of cutlery on the tray just in case. That made me smile.

  He dug into the other side of the pancakes. “These are pretty good.”

  “So you’re a rocket scientist and a chef,” I teased. “What other hidden talents do you have?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

  I felt a twinge of pain when I thought about the night we had spent together. I wished it would have been different and I remembered being with him. I hoped I would get another chance.

  I took a bite of the bacon. “Yum, I love bacon.”

  “It’s good, isn’t it? I get my meat from a butcher shop instead of the supermarket.”

  “Keep doing what you’re doing. This could be the best bacon I’ve ever had.”

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  The two of us couldn’t eat all the food he’d prepared. I felt stuffed. Brett rose from the bed and picked up the tray. “We’ve got a big day ahead of us. There are a few special places I want to take you. Wear something warm. We’ll be outside.”

  I cringed.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I live in Arizona. I don’t have a lot of cool weather clothing.”

  He grinned. “No problem. You know how much I loved seeing you in my clothes.”

  A short time later, I found myself standing in front of Gamble Garden wearing one of Brett’s oversized college sweatshirts. He was wearing one, too. We were both in jeans and sneakers. I always wanted to punch the faces of couples, who wore matching clothes. I thought they were sappy and overly sweet. Now I was one of them.

  And it felt kind of nice.

  The Gamble Garden was quite lovely and Brett’s whole demeanor shifted a bit as soon as we entered the facility. He was less uptight and actually seemed to be at peace. I wished there was something that brought me that kind of peace, other than alcohol, which wasn’t terribly reliable. Sometimes drinking only brought more heartache.

  I was starting to feel some peacefulness being with Brett. He definitely had a calming effect on me. It was like he was taming the shrew in me.

  “The ros
e garden was recently restored,” Brett said as he grabbed my hand and lead me in that direction. “Roses aren’t my favorite flowers but these are quite nice.”

  “Are you going to show me your garden?” I asked as we viewed the roses.

  “Of course. That’s where we’re having dinner tonight.”

  Dinner in a garden sounded romantic but Brett had already made it quite clear we weren’t going to have sex. Bummer.

  “There’s something else I really want to show you.” Brett pulled me in another direction. “This is Cherry Allee.”

  It was a pathway lined with beautiful cherry trees.

  “A few weeks ago, they were in blossom,” he continued. “I’m sorry you missed it. But there’s always next year.”

  Next year? Was he already planning that far ahead? I could barely think about what I was doing the next day and he was already planning for next year?

  We looked at the Grotto with its lovely fountain. Brett said it would be good luck to give me a kiss in the Grotto. I had a feeling he made that up just to get a kiss but it didn’t matter. His kiss was soft and delicious. I liked the way he tasted slightly like spearmint. He told me spearmint was his favorite tea and gum.

  “You seem so happy here,” I observed.

  “Gardens always make me happy. My mother loved them. The best times I remember spending with my mother were helping her in her garden. Unfortunately, after she died, my dad couldn’t or wouldn’t take care of it, so it slowly died after her.”

  I was overcome with sadness as Brett talked about his mom. My mother was still alive and I didn’t care whether I ever saw her again or not. He didn’t have the opportunity to ever see his mom again and he seemed to desperately want to. It was obvious he missed her.