by Jaci Wheeler
When I say nothing, he screams right in my face “Tell me!”
“I’m sorry, sir.”
“You gave Aria your emergency satellite number? She called on a non-secure line for God’s sake! What were you thinking?”
“No, sir; I didn’t.”
Even though I hate throwing her under the bus, I can’t lie to this man. His head drops and he runs his hand down his face.
“Of course not; she hacked in and got it.” He didn’t ask it as a question, but I gave a brief nod.
“You are too close to her.”
It’s the truth, so I nod again.
“You are off her case. I’m sending you out on a long-term mission. You are going under, deep and dark. If it were anyone else, you would be out in a second. I know you care for her, Van, and it’s the only reason why you are still here. But she is your weakness and you can’t afford to have a weakness.”
I’m torn. It’s the first time he’s called me by my nickname, and I know he cares for me but sending me away, ripping Aria from me, makes me feel as though I can’t breathe. He’s got to know this is the worst punishment he could deliver.
I made a promise to her the day I held her little finger in my hand. I’ve been the one to nurse all her scrapes and boo boos. It’s my room she would sneak into, I am the one who would hold her when she had a nightmare and sing her to sleep. She’s more a part of me than anything in my life and I feel as though my heart is being ripped out. I know Edward can see the torment that is all over my face.
“I love you like a son, kid. In some ways I am much closer to you than my own daughter. She’s too wild, she takes unnecessary risks, but she is one of the best trainees we’ve ever had. Unlike all of you, she’s never had any real heartache. She’s naïve to the pains of the world and it isn’t doing her any favors.”
“So, you are taking me away from her to cause her pain?” I yell at him now.
He doesn’t even seem remorseful when he answers, “Yes, I am.”
I’ve never wanted to hit anyone more than I want to hit my hero right this moment. As if he can read my mind, he puts his hand up.
“It’s for her own good, son. She needs to experience this loss in order to become the kind of agent she not only needs to be, but wants to be. She was born for this job, as much as you may hate it. But until she cuts her ties with you, she will always have a weakness. That is why I need to remove you from the equation for now.”
“So, you are going to demote me and break your daughter, all in a good day’s work?” I ask letting the sarcasm drip into my voice.
Edward smiles wide.
“Actually, no. I’m promoting you.”
“You’re what?” My head swings back so I can look him in the eye. He isn’t joking.
“You heard me. I am making you lead on this new case. It is deep cover though, Estevan, and I don’t have to tell you what that means.”
I know all too well what that means. It means I go dark, no contact at all with anyone from this life. It’s one of the most dangerous positions you can have. I’m not sure if this is a promotion or a punishment, but either way, what he says next seals my fate.
“It’s you or her. If you turn down the assignment, she will be kicked out of the program.”
“When do I leave?”
***
Aria
“You’ve got to be kidding me! No, this can’t be happening! You’re lying!” I scream at my father. Cameron is sitting a few feet away with that horrible smirk on his face and I’m about a second away from smacking it off. Scratch that; helpless girls smack, I want to punch…hard.
“Aria, calm down and when you are ready to speak like an adult, I will listen.”
“You are seriously making him my handler? He broke my nose and dislocated my shoulder for God’s sake!”
My dad doesn’t even bat an eye.
“Did you learn something?”
He can’t be for real right now. I tell him this jerk hurt me and he asks if I learned from it?
“I asked you a question.”
I scowl at him because I refuse to prove his point. He then turns to Cameron.
“Since you broke her nose, has she gotten close enough for you to get her again while sparing?” he asks him. The jerk smiles wide.
“No, sir, she hasn’t.”
The trader formally known as my father smiles and claps his hands.
“There, you see? You are learning from him already. He will teach you well, Aria, and in ways you were lacking before. You need some discipline and I have a feeling Cameron will be a fine match for you.”
My father hates me. It’s official. I keep my face blank.
“Yes, Father,” I respond, surprising both of them. I turn to leave his office when he calls me back.
“Aria, I need a word with you. Cameron, you may leave.”
Cameron nods and heads out the door, but not before he tosses a wink at me over his shoulder. I quickly flash him a one-finger salute that he laughs off as he exists.
“Have a seat, Aria.”
I do as I’m told but refuse to look at him.
“Honey, I know you aren’t happy with this, but there was no other option. You need to get on board and do it now.”
“How could you do it, Daddy?” I ask him. He bristles at the name.
“It’s ‘sir.’ You aren’t a little girl anymore, Aria, and around here I am not your father, I am your superior.”
Well ok, just pour the salt in, why don’t you? I’m already wide open with my heart torn out. I swallow the tears that threaten at his callous words.
“Yes, sir,” I whisper.
“This was your doing, Aria. You broke the rules and you sent him away. If you want to blame someone, blame yourself.”
As much as I hate him right now, I know he’s right. Van begged me to stop pushing the envelope and just follow the rules, but I didn’t listen.
“How long will he be gone?”
“At least until after you take your final, maybe longer.”
“That’s several years!” I shriek.
My dad gives me a sharp look and I settle down.
“I’m not asking. I’m telling you, if you don’t stop your antics you are done here, do you hear me? Cameron won’t cover for you like Estevan did. You either want to be an agent or you don’t. You have until the end of this year to pull it together or you won’t go on to mission training.” I swallow hard.
I’ve been counting down the days until mission training and my father knows it. I hate all the classroom instruction. I’ve been longing to go out on missions and put everything I know into practice, so I bite my tongue and say nothing.
“Is that all?” Edward asks me. I have a feeling I will always remember this as the day I lost my father. The man standing in front of me is my superior and nothing more. I also feel like it’s the day I lost what little innocence I had. The day Van was stolen from me without so much as good-bye.
“Yes, sir,” I answer and walk out of that room with less of my heart than when I entered.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Aria, 1 year later
I am a machine. A well-trained, well-run, organized machine. I left my emotions and the girl who signed her signature with hearts and flowers behind. Cameron is still my handler, and we’ve somehow managed not to kill each other.
He is actually one of the people here that I trust most, but like the least. We haven’t grown on each other, but we did grow to respect one another. He’s given me multiple concussions and a few fractures over the years. And I have given him two busted teeth, cauliflower ear, and an accumulation of one hundred and seventeen stitches between the two of us.
Cameron has taught me more than my old handler ever did about fighting, protecting myself, not to mention being the job. I still can’t say his name; I can’t even think it. I have one year left of mission training before I take the final. I couldn’t be more ready.
I am the best in my class. I’m the best i
n the school. I’m not being cocky, just being accurate. My old handler leaving was the best thing to happen to my career and the worst to happen to my heart.
I’m the sharpest shooter at the Academy with more physical takedowns in hand-to-hand combat than anyone else and I am now nicknamed the Human Lie Detector. Edward was right, although I’d never tell him that. Once I was able to harness my energy and focus, I literally became unstoppable. And I love it.
“Again,” Cameron demands.
I come up sputtering.
“Once more.”
And then the choking starts. Oh, that’s right, I forgot to mention I’m being drowned. Not actually drowned but Cameron is dunking my head continuously in the pool to get my lungs used to water torture.
Apparently, the water torture part of the final is where they lose most of the students. Last year I was a good swimmer. This year I live in the water. Cameron says to be good means to fail, to be the best means to succeed. Yeah, he’s still a jerk.
“I.” Dunk.
“Can’t” Dunk.
“Breathe.” Dunk.
After being under longer on this dunk and feeling like I’m going to pass out, he finally lets up.
“If you can talk, you can breathe,” he deadpans.
“I’m going to kill you,” I choke, cough, and sputter out.
Cameron full on laughs at this. I would never tell him, but he is pretty beautiful when he laughs. Not that usual sneer he gives and calls a smile, but when he laughs the monster fades from his face and the haunted look in his eyes lifts. Then he quickly brings his mask up and you are left wondering if it was there at all.
“Good. You can kill me after you do twenty laps.”
“Cameron, if I get back in the water I will drown for sure. My lungs are going to explode.”
“Now you owe me twenty-five.”
He isn’t joking. The old me would argue until I was blue in the face and most likely just walk out. But the old me wasn’t the best at everything she did, she only thought she was. So the new me just tries not to drown. After my laps, I can barely crawl out of the pool. I just sort of flop over the side and try to breathe.
“Well done.”
I can’t breathe enough to talk and I barely have the strength to raise my hand and flip him off.
“You are ready, Aria.” That gets me to open my eyes.
“It’s going to suck, and I’m not going to let up until the final, but you will make it.”
It hits me now that, even though we hate each other and he’s a total jerk, he does want me to succeed. He has helped me all year so that I won’t fail. Maybe it’s time I help him.
“Is it true you haven’t been out on assignment because you freeze up?” You never know what is rumor and what is fact around this place, but most handlers are in and out on missions throughout the year. Cameron also happens to be an instructor, but something tells me there is truth behind it. The way he stiffens gives him away, but I’m not trying to unsettle him for once.
“I’m just saying, if I knew why maybe I could help.”
I brace myself for his inevitable sneer and nasty comeback about me minding my own business, but it doesn’t come. He instead sighs and sits down beside me.
“It’s true,” he whispers and those two words are the most honest he’s ever spoken to me.
“What was it?” I ask, knowing it had to have been bad for him to freeze. He is one of the best instructors we have, and he dominates at almost everything.
“Guns.”
This catches me by surprise.
“But you are a sharp shooter,” I lamely state.
“I am.”
“What am I missing?”
“From far away, I can pick them off one by one with no problem.” We are so desensitized to shooting I don’t even flinch at how callous that sounds.
“But up close, in a firefight where I have to look someone in the eye, I freeze.”
“So, they took you out of the field completely?” I ask, stunned.
“They have a zero percent failure rate for a reason, Aria. Freezing gets people killed.”
“Then work on not freezing.”
He laughs, but this time with no humor.
“Those who can’t do, teach. That’s my job; I make sure nobody else freezes.”
“But don’t you want to be a field agent?” I ask.
I watch him close down and put his wall firmly back in place. It’s shocking he opened up to me at all.
“Time for you to hit the showers. You have a long day tomorrow since you start a new rotation.”
I guess that’s the end of our heart to heart. What a shame, just when I came to discover that he actually has one.
***
This class sucks. Take me back to the pool and dunk me for an hour, anything but this. We are all standing in front of floor-length mirrors. Our assignment is to catalog our appearance. What features can be useful and which can’t. What our best features are, and so on. My friends call it Shallow 101. And what’s worse is the instructor, or “Boobs McGee” as Trevor has dubbed her, is walking from person to person making them tell the class what their best features are. It’s horrible. Not everyone is great looking, and it’s just mean.
She already made Tali cry then she humiliated her for breaking down and told her that her weakness can be turned into a strength because men fall for tears. She’s a horrid woman and she’s eyeing me at the moment.
“Aria,” she says, approaching me at a slow pace. She probably has to since her skirt is so tight on her not very small bum. She is short, well much shorter than my 5’11” frame, and has long red hair and bright red lips. Most men would find her attractive, I suppose; I just find her fake.
“Yes?” I ask in a bored tone.
“What is your best feature?”
“My brain,” I reply back.
There are a few snickers and she lifts her hand in silence.
“Your best physical attribute, Aria,” she clips out.
“That’s up for debate,” I announce back.
“How so?”
“It’s all in preference; some people like boobs, some butts, legs, lips, you get my point. Not everyone has the same preferences or tastes. Therefore, it doesn’t matter what you think your best feature is, what matters is what your target finds to be your best feature,” I say back.
She’s quiet for a moment. She doesn’t have a comeback because she knows I’m right.
“What would you say people find most attractive about you? This isn’t a hard question and you are trying my patience,” she says raising her voice.
I’m in no mood to play her games.
“And you are trying mine. I don’t see how me saying how pretty I am will save my life. Can I use my looks to get out of a situation? Sure. But I can also use my brain. which won’t fade in time, by the way. So, let’s stick with that, shall we?”
I hear several intakes of breath. The instructor is mad. I can see in her eyes she’s used to getting her way and doesn’t like to be questioned. Well, that’s just too bad.
“Keller,” she says.
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Name Aria’s best physical attributes, please.”
What a wench. Keller clearly looks uncomfortable, but unlike me, he doesn’t challenge authority. He doesn’t want to answer if the redness crawling up his neck and the sweat that is breaking out on his brow is an indicator. I don’t want him put in a bad position so I nod for him to answer her and he takes a deep, uncomfortable breath.
“She is beautiful. She has natural blonde hair with perfect loose curls that any girl would love. She is tall and thin, but with a very toned body.” He’s looking at me in a way now that is making me uncomfortable, but I mask it.
“She could use her body to gain any man’s attention, but it’s her eyes that will keep it. It’s like drowning in the ocean.” A few people chuckle and he seems to snap out of his trance and turns bright red.
“Thank you,�
� the instructor says.
“Now class, what is the best way for Aria to use those attributes?”
“Obviously, she’s just gotta strut her sweet booty in front of her target. A brother won’t know what hit him,” Trevor says, sending me a kiss across the room.
“And if her target is a woman?”
“Intimidation,” Penny chimes in. “Other women are easily intimidated by beautiful women. All she’d have to do is use that to her advantage.”
“Perfect. Thank you, class; our instruction time is up.”
I grab my bag and can’t get out of there fast enough. It's lunchtime and I’m starving. I might have a nice figure, but I can put food away like a trucker. I bring my heaping tray over to the table and start eating. I look around and realize that Keller isn’t where he usually sits.
“Where’s Keller?” I ask.
“I’m pretty sure he’s embarrassed,” Lee says.
“Why? It’s not his fault Boobs McGee put him on the spot,” I say, shrugging and take another bite.
Lee and Trevor share a look but don’t say anything. I don’t ask because really, I don’t want to know. I’m just tossing my plate in the trash and talking to Penny and Hope when Edward comes into view.
“Aria. A word please.” Without waiting for a response, he turns and walks toward his office.
I sigh and give the group a shrug.
“I’ll see you guys later.” And I take off to see what daddy dearest wants now. I don’t even bother knocking as I strut right into has cave of oppression.
“You summoned?”
“Enough with the attitude. Take a seat.” He doesn’t waste any time jumping right into the issue.
“I heard you were giving your instructor a hard time.”
I scoff.
“She’s more of a Playboy bunny than an instructor.”
“All of our instructors are the best. Their job is to make you the best and they can’t do that if you don’t listen.”
“I did listen, and I also made the point that looks can’t bring you through every time. Sure they can be valuable, but your brain is a much better tool.”