He wasn’t looking at her, but she could swear he was rolling his eyes at the question. “We’re not human, Rey. It would take a hell of a lot more than what any of us have had tonight to put us over the limit.” Then, in a lower voice, he muttered, “And you should know I wouldn’t put you at risk like that.”
Five minutes later, she was sitting in the front seat of one truck, one of the guy’s T-shirts balled up and pressed against her side, while Eli drove and Lev and Sam sat in the spacious backseat. Kyle and James had piled into the other truck, along with everyone’s gear. Since Eli refused to stay in the town they’d just been attacked in, in case this Varga guy decided to send more men after them, they had to drive for nearly an hour before they found a cheap roadside motel that had enough rooms for them all. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been paying close enough attention when they were checking in, the blood loss making her a little dizzy, because it wasn’t until the keys were handed out that she realized they were one key short.
Which meant they had five rooms, instead of six.
Son of a freaking bitch!
“Eli,” she started to growl, before stumbling and nearly face planting against the cracked concrete walkway that led to the rooms. Damn it! Her lack of decent sleep the last two weeks, combined with the stress of finally facing Eli again, not to mention the blood loss, was getting to her. She was thankful the other Runners weren’t there to see her like this. They never would have let her live it down.
Kyle had grabbed her before she collapsed, his hold careful, as if he was afraid of hurting her. Did she really seem that fragile? “I think one of us should carry her,” he said, glancing at the others over the top of her head. “She’s looking a little pale.”
“I’ve got her,” Eli grunted, his heavy arm wrapping around her shoulders as he pulled her out of Kyle’s hands and jerked her against his side.
“I don’t know, boss man. You sure you don’t need any help?” Kyle asked from behind them, sounding both concerned and like he was trying not to laugh his ass off. She wasn’t sure what he found so freaking funny, but if it turned out to have anything to do with her, she was going to kick him. Hard.
“Kyle?” Eli muttered, as he opened the door to one of the rooms and all but shoved her inside.
“Yeah?” Kyle asked from the sidewalk.
“Piss off.” Eli slammed the door in the merc’s smirking face, then turned around and shoved a hand through his hair, his narrow gaze immediately connecting with hers. Carla had sat down on the foot of one of the beds, her left side now completely covered in blood. She’d felt a wave of relief when she’d seen that there were two beds in the room—but the look on Eli’s face as he pinned her under his dark glare completely shredded it. He still looked like he wanted to throttle her, but there was something even darker than anger in his unusual eyes, and it had her pulse kicking up. She wasn’t afraid of him, but that hungry, visceral look made her nervous as hell.
Needing a distraction, she said, “I could have paid for my own room, you know.”
His response was dry. “My mistake. I wasn’t aware you’d be flush with cash after escaping from a kidnapping.”
She lifted her chin. “I didn’t run empty-handed. I stole a wad of cash off the Whiteclaw. There’s still enough left to pay for my rooms and my meals on our way back.”
“Don’t worry about it. We’ve got it covered,” he murmured, slipping two packs she hadn’t even noticed he was carrying off his shoulder. She was glad to see that one of the bags was hers. The blood on her skin was starting to get sticky, and she was trying to work up the energy to head to the shower so she could clean it off, when he set his bag down on the desk, opened it up, and pulled out a first-aid kit. He came over to the bed she was sitting on and started taking things out of the kit—antiseptic wipes and some ointment—setting them on the comforter.
Carla knew she should object when he grabbed the chair in front of the desk and dragged it over, sat down, then took a pair of scissors from the kit and started cutting her ruined shirt off. But she just couldn’t find the energy. If he wanted to help her, fine. It didn’t mean anything, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to lead to anything.
“Your men, they seem pretty loyal to you,” she said to break the uncomfortable silence. As well as to get her attention focused on something other than how freaking hot he looked. Eli had always worn the post-fight look well, and it looked even better on him now, with his shaggy hair and fierce expression. There were more little lines crinkling at the corners of his eyes than the last time she’d seen him, but they only added to his rugged appeal. It was one of those unfair imbalances in the universe, how things that made a woman look aged usually only a made a man look more attractive. And Eli wore that “lived in” look well.
She didn’t think he was going to bother giving her any kind of response, but he surprised her when he tossed her ruined shirt aside and said, “They’re a good bunch of guys. We’ve been through a lot together.”
She didn’t have time to be embarrassed about sitting there in nothing but her jeans and bra, because he opened one of the wipes and started cleaning the oozing wound. Her breath hissed through her teeth at the sharp sting of pain, but she forced it to the back of her mind and asked, “How did you all meet?”
He tossed the wipe into the nearby trashcan, and shot her a wry glance. “How about I tell you that story when you don’t look like you’re about to pass out?”
“I’m fine. I’ve had worse than this and survived.” Both physically...and emotionally.
He frowned, as if he’d heard her thoughts. Or maybe he just didn’t like the idea of her getting hurt. He never had liked her being a Runner, thinking it was too dangerous. But she’d never had any intention of leaving her job to make him happy. The way she’d seen it, if he’d truly cared about her, he would have learned to accept her and see her for who she really was: a woman and a warrior.
But, then, he’d never really cared about her, had he?
Trailing his rough fingertips just under the graze, he said, “You’ll heal with rest, but the bra needs to come off or it’s going to keep rubbing against the wound during the night.”
Carla looked him right in the eye and gave him her best as if look. “Not—Happening.”
“I wasn’t asking, Rey.”
Gritting teeth, she muttered, “You always were a bossy, manipulative jerk.”
He snorted as he shoved the chair back and knelt in front of her, his big body so close she could feel his delicious heat like a physical touch against her chilled skin. “And yet you used to love spending time with me,” he offered huskily, his mouthwatering scent settling on her tongue like a gift. “What do you think that says about you, princess?”
God, he was so damn good at pissing her off. “I’m not a princess.”
His sensual lips curved in a way that would have made any other woman whose heart he hadn’t shredded light-headed with desire. “Sure you are, Rey. All those big bruisers in the Alley think of you as their little sister, which makes you the princess of the group.”
“They think of me as their equal,” she snarled, wondering why he was goading her on purpose. Then she felt her nipples tightening in the cool air, and realized he’d managed to cut her bra off while she’d been growling at him. Argh! She must be woozier than she’d thought if she hadn’t caught on before he’d bared her to his dark, heavy-lidded gaze.
He was staring at her naked breasts, hard, and she blushed clear to the roots of her hair, trying to cover herself with her right arm, her blood nearly boiling when she caught the crooked smirk on his lips.
His hot gaze flicked up to hers. “After everything that happened between us that last night we were together, modesty is a little pointless now, don’t you think?”
“It was dark in your room that night.” Not to mention it was three years ago, and he’d been drunk off his ass.
“Yeah, but I’m a pure-blood. My night vision is even better than yours.” He flicked
his tongue over his teeth, and his lips twitched into a wicked grin. “My sense of taste, too.”
Lust shot through her in a burst so primal and potent it made her shudder, and it took every ounce of strength she possessed not to pant...or throw herself at him. “I would have thought you were too wasted to remember anything from those particular minutes, Eli.”
He slowly arched one of his dark brows. “That night wasn’t the only time I had your taste in my mouth, Rey.”
She blushed even hotter when she realized he was talking about the time he’d licked her juices from his fingers after they’d been inside her. He’d made her come with his hand during their last “sober” interaction together. It’d been two days before the drunken night at his house in Shadow Peak, and they’d met in the woods, as they so often had, carefully avoiding the prying eyes of the pack.
A bitter laugh sounded inside her head as she thought about that telling fact. She should have known then that she was nothing more than his dirty little secret. Something he was too ashamed to admit to. But she’d been blinded by love and faith and foolish dreams. Dreams that had lived inside her heart for too many years to fight them.
With perfect clarity, Carla could still remember the first time she’d ever set eyes on Eli Drake. She’d been no more than twelve, and he’d been...well, the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. He should have detested the sight of her, given his father’s virulent hatred of humans and half-breeds, but he hadn’t. Instead, he’d grinned at her that day that they’d passed on a small street in Shadow Peak—but it’d been years before they’d ever spoken to each other. Ten, to be exact. And she could still recall the details of that night as if it’d happened only yesterday.
Her mother had always had...issues. And she’d had dismal taste in men. After a string of abusive relationships with Lycan males, Nicole Cates had vowed to only date humans. But the relationships never lasted. The only lasting relationship Nicole had ever enjoyed was with a bottle.
Carla was the result of a short-term affair her mother had had with a human named Antonio Reyes, and he’d disappeared from her life as quickly as he’d entered it. To her family’s surprise, and disgust, Nicole had decided to keep the child, thinking a baby might help her find some stability. But it was Carla who’d become the caretaker. Nicole’s family had made it clear they wanted nothing to do with their pathetic daughter and her half-human offspring, and so the two of them had been on their own. Though she’d had the support of her fellow Bloodrunners when she’d gotten older, no one from the pack had ever helped her and her mother, until the night she’d first spoken to Eli, less than a week after she’d turned twenty-two.
She could still feel the hot slide of angry, frustrated tears slipping down her face as she’d struggled with her mother’s limp body that night, the salty taste of them on her lips. She’d had a call that Nicole was passed out on a sidewalk outside one of Shadow Peak’s bars. Too embarrassed to tell the other Runners, she’d left the Alley and gone up to town to handle it on her own. As she’d tried to get Nicole on her feet, shame had burned in her belly at the thought of the girls she’d gone to school with seeing her mother like this, knowing how horrible they would be. The derogatory names they would call them. The same names she’d heard her entire life.
And then, out of nowhere, Eli had walked out of the darkness and taken her mother from her arms, carrying her home while a stunned and wary Carla had walked beside him. She’d been amazed to realize that he not only knew her name and where her mother lived, but that she was Bloodrunning partners with Wyatt. Afterward, they’d talked out in her mother’s backyard, and it had been the beginning. Of their friendship. Of her love. Of...of everything.
Eli Drake had been her hero that night, coming to her rescue at a time when she’d desperately needed him. But now he was her nightmare. The thing in the world that could hurt her most. That could break her.
Her mother had always warned her that a Lycan male would destroy her heart if she wasn’t careful. How awful to learn that Nicole had been right.
Shattered by the memories flooding through her, Carla closed her eyes, determined to block them out—to block him out—hoping it would help her find some measure of control. Huge mistake. The sudden touch of his tongue to the sensitive skin over her ribs made her gasp, then whimper, and she flushed with mortification. God, she couldn’t have sounded more needy if she’d tried, and his hands flexed against her hips, holding her tighter.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she choked out, when she felt the delicious rasp of his tongue gliding higher, until he was licking the flesh of her blood-smeared breast that she hadn’t managed to cover with her arm. Her breath seized in her lungs, her eyes shocked wide as she stared down at him, too stunned to do anything more than shiver as she watched him lick another smear of blood off her tingling skin, taking the crimson fluid into his mouth, like it was his right.
“Christ,” he groaned, the hungry sound vibrating deep in his chest. “Like I could ever forget that taste.”
“Eli?”
* * *
Pulling his head back, Eli looked up at Carla’s flushed face, and thought To hell with it. He needed this. No matter how dangerous it was to his sanity, he needed it. Craved it. Would have sold his damn soul for it.
Not giving himself time to change his mind, he leaned in close again, wanting her mouth this time, but she jerked back from him, turning her head to the side, her chest heaving. He started to tell her to stop acting like a fucking child and just give him what they both needed after being apart for so long, then stopped when he caught sight of the tears spilling over her pale cheek.
Shit.
“Rey,” he breathed out, feeling like he’d just been gutted. In all the time that he’d known her, he couldn’t ever recall seeing her cry. Not since the night that he’d helped her with Nicole.
Her throat worked as she swallowed. Then she turned her head to look at him and licked her lips. “From the moment we first realized there was something between us, you told me to wait, so I waited,” she whispered unsteadily. “To give it time, so I did. And do you know what I got for it? Nothing. Except your lying ass disappearing without a single goddamn word.”
He wanted to look away from those tear-soaked eyes that were making him feel like the biggest son of a bitch who had ever walked the planet, but couldn’t. “I was banished,” he heard himself scrape from his tight throat. “What did you expect me to do? What the hell would I have said?”
Years-old fury flamed beneath her tears, so bright it made him wince. “Maybe Come with me? Did that ever cross your pea-sized brain? If you ever meant a single damn word that you said to me, you would have asked—”
“I had no idea where I was going,” he bit out, the familiar rise of frustration nearly strangling him. There’d been no goddamn right answer where she was concerned. No matter what he chose, what he did, she would have ended up hurt. He’d simply tried to choose the path that would be easiest for her. And...fuck, maybe easiest for him, as well—at least when it came to his emotions—which just made him sound like a coward. “I didn’t have a home to offer you, Rey. No security or protection. How could I have asked you to give up everything you’d ever known for that kind of life? To leave your friends and family?”
“You were my family,” she whispered, digging that knife even deeper. “At least I thought you were. Fool that I was. You just wanted to screw the girl who’d never bedded down with a Lycan, didn’t you? Was it a bet between you and your friends? Did you all laugh about it behind my back before you left?”
“You know that’s not true,” he growled, wanting to shake her. “I didn’t want anything to happen to you. I was trying to take care of you!”
She gave a bitter laugh. “And what a stellar job you did. I’d hate to know what it’s like to be someone you want to hurt.”
“Carla, I—”
“Stop!” she pleaded, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the back of her free h
and. “Please, just...stop. I don’t want to hear another lie from you. I just want you to leave me alone.”
Shit! This is so screwed up.
Moving to his feet, Eli stared down at the top of her golden head, and wanted to roar with frustration. “I wish I could make you understand, but everything I’ve done...the reasons...it’s complicated, Rey.”
She didn’t say anything. She just turned and crawled up over the bed, then curled into a ball on her side, telling him without words that she was done listening to his bullshit.
“Sleep fast,” he muttered, moving to sit on the foot of the other bed. Elbows on his parted knees, he dropped his head into his hands, squeezing his skull, and kept talking. “We’re getting an early start tomorrow. And I still have questions, so be ready to start answering them.”
There was no response, but he hadn’t expected one. He listened until her breathing evened out, then moved back to his feet and stripped down to his fitted boxers. He pulled the covers over her small, curled up form, forcing himself not to look at her too closely because he knew he’d never be able to stop once he did. Then he turned out the light.
Lying down on his bed, Eli put his hands behind his head and stared up at the watermarked ceiling, wondering what in God’s name he’d been thinking. He’d actually thought he could get his head together before he and the guys reached Maryland and he had to face her again. What a jackass idea. Even if it’d taken months to get back, it still wouldn’t have been enough time to sort out this messed-up situation.
And he could no longer say for certain if he was still trying to protect her...or if it was his own miserable hide he was worried about. Especially seeing as how she wanted rid of him. Wanted to break the tenuous bond that tied them together, severing that final connection.
Turning on his side, he stared at her delicate shape beneath the soft streams of moonlight filtering in through the blinds, and pulled in a deep breath of her warm, intoxicating scent. This woman had been under his skin for years, and he wasn’t sure if staying away from her anymore was the right answer...or the wrong one.
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