A few minutes later, they’d skirted the outside of the Alley, avoiding most of the crowd, and were climbing the front porch steps to Wyatt and Elise’s cabin. Hating that it was time to say goodbye, he was surprised when she turned to him and asked, “Do you, um, want to come inside for a while? I’m sure Wyatt and Elise will spend some time celebrating with the others. Or were you planning on going for Eric?”
“He’s not expecting to see me there,” he said in a low voice, searching her face for signs of what she was thinking. “But I have to be honest with you, Rey. If I come inside, I won’t be able to keep my hands off you.”
Her eyes widened a little, then darkened, but she didn’t say anything. So he didn’t know what the hell to expect when she pulled her hand from his, took her keys from her pocket, and used the one Wyatt had given her to unlock the door. She stepped inside, then turned to face him. “I don’t want you to leave,” she told him, flicking her tongue across her plump lower lip in an endearing sign of her nerves. “But you should know that I’m not ready to have sex with you. Despite what you said before you left about finishing what we’d started, that’s not what this is.”
Stepping into the house, he took a deep breath as he shut the door, then slowly exhaled. Holding her dark gaze, he said, “It’s killing me that you feel that way, but I’m not going to argue with you. If you need me to be patient, then I can be patient.”
She started to respond, but he cut her off as he stepped forward, closing the distance between them. There was a lot he needed to say, but she didn’t look like a woman who needed to have her ear talked off at the moment. No, she looked like a woman who needed to have her man take care of her, pleasuring her until she was boneless and as soft as sun-warmed taffy. And that was something he could definitely give her.
Her head tilted back as he looked down into her beautiful face, and he was glad to see the color in her cheeks as he said, “But no more pushing me away, Carla.”
She swallowed, her chest rising as she pulled in a slow breath.
Cupping the side of her face in one hand, he ran his thumb over the smooth surface of her lower lip, and quietly said, “Not from this mouth.” His other hand slid down her side, and then he reached between her legs, cupping her there. “And not from this. I’ll find a way to keep some measure of control tonight, but this time I’m tasting you or I’ll die.”
She pulled her lower lip away from his thumb, dragging it through her teeth. “You never tried to do that before,” she said in a voice that was so soft and sexy, he could literally feel all the blood in his body rushing south, settling thickly in his groin.
Scooping her up into his arms, Eli kept his eyes on hers as he carried her across the living room, toward the hallway. “I’d waited too long to finally get my hands on you,” he explained in a rough, gravelly rumble. “Once I did, all I could think about was getting inside you and staying there. But it was always something I wanted, Rey. The first time I saw you after you’d turned eighteen, I knew exactly what I wanted to do to you.”
Her pupils were dilated, breaths falling soft and fast from her parted lips as she pointed to the door of her room. He carried her inside, then closed it with his booted foot and asked her to turn the lock. There was a soft spill of light coming from the bathroom, falling across the bed, and his goddamn hands were shaking by the time he laid her down there, in the midst of the rumpled bedding that carried her sumptuous scent. He came down over her, caging her beneath his body, his weight braced on his forearms as he settled his hips between her open legs, pressing against her. His breath hissed through his teeth, and he ground his jaw, forcing himself to pull back, knowing damn well he was tempting fate. By some miracle, he’d managed to rein his beast in when he’d touched her that afternoon—but he knew his hold on the animal was tenuous at best. He prayed it was smart enough to know that if ever there was a time to behave itself, it was now. She wanted him, but she was skittish...and unsure...and still as angry and hurt and suspicious as she’d been since the moment she’d walked back into his life.
So tonight was going to be about making her feel good—and then tomorrow he’d go back to battle for her heart and her forgiveness and the future that he wanted so badly he could taste it.
“You’re so incredibly beautiful,” he whispered, lowering his head and pressing his lips against the tender base of her throat, where her pulse was fluttering madly. He groaned with pleasure when her hands dug their way into his hair, clutching at the strands. “Is your palm okay?” he asked, worried that she was in pain.
“What palm?” she murmured, making him smile as his lips coasted over her collarbone.
Ignoring the ache throbbing low in his body, he knelt between her legs and reached for the hem of her shirt, shoving it up under her chin. In the next second, he had the cups of her bra pulled down, the soft light spilling over her lush, pink-tipped breasts, and with a thick sound of hunger, he covered one of the pretty nipples with his mouth, sucking hard enough to arch her back.
“Eli... Oh, God,” she moaned, shivering, her hands tangling in his hair as she held him to her even tighter, pushing herself against his face. Breathing hard and fast, he pulled back, releasing the swollen nipple with a wet pop, and quickly moved to the other one, lashing it with his tongue, before sucking it between his lips and hungrily working it against the roof of his mouth.
“Next time I’m doing that for hours,” he groaned when he finally pulled away, kissing his way down her trembling stomach, while his hands ripped at the button on her jeans, damn near destroying the zipper as he fought to get it down. She was panting, her eyes heavy with need as she stared at him, and he almost ripped the legs of her jeans as he yanked them down and off, needing to get to her so badly he was shaking. The tiny white panties keeping him from what he wanted tore off with a sibilant hiss as he ripped them apart, and then he was there, and oh, shit, he was going to completely lose it because she was so damned perfect.
Unable to wait, he shoved her thighs wider, opened her with his thumbs as he leaned down, and covered her with his open mouth, a thick sound of raw pleasure burning at the back of his throat the instant his tongue touched her drenched, silky flesh. He shuddered, unable to believe it was even better than he’d imagined it would be, his greed for her like a physical thing inside him, keeping company with his wolf. He loved the way she felt against his lips and tongue, so tender and soft. Was already addicted to her taste, it was so warm and lush and sweet. He wanted to feel her come undone against his face more than he’d ever wanted any goddamn thing in his entire life, and he wasn’t shy about making it happen, shoving his tongue inside that tiny opening as deep as he could go. His mouth was nothing short of ravenous as he went completely wild on her, his fingers biting into her firm thighs as he shoved her legs even farther apart, needing her completely open to him.
“What are you doing?” she gasped moments later, when he pushed up on one arm, staring hard at her flushed face as she slowly came down from a wrenching, devastating orgasm that had pulsed against his tongue like a heartbeat, her taste so intoxicating he knew he wouldn’t ever be able to get enough of it. “Eli?”
His voice was low, and as guttural as a growl. “I’m watching you come undone for me, Rey.”
When he pushed two thick fingers inside that narrow, slippery opening, she gasped, “It’s too much.”
“Like hell it is,” he shot back, licking his wet lips. “It’s not nearly enough.”
Before she could argue, he’d lowered his head again, his open mouth covering her hot, slick folds, while his tongue rubbed her hard little clit, then plunged back inside her. Deep, dark, hungry. He was consuming her. Making her melt into thick, honeyed liquid, which just made him feast on her even more savagely, until his low, guttural groans were drowning out the sounds of the celebration taking place outside the cabin.
He could have kept his mouth on her forever. She was that perfect. That sweet. That goddamn necessary to him.
She came a
gain, even harder this time, her cries deliciously hoarse as her body pulsed and pulsed, coming completely undone for him. He gentled his mouth, licking her with soft, careful strokes, while his own body hardened to the point where he feared he might burst, his blood pumping so fast through his veins he could hear it roaring in his ears.
He hoped to God that she’d changed her mind about intercourse, because if he didn’t get inside her soon, there was every chance it was going to break him. Turn him into the mindless, instinctual beast that lived at his core in a transformation that could never be undone, the reason of the man lost forever beneath that primal force of madness. He’d heard of it happening to Lycans who’d been pushed to the ends of their sanity, and God only knew he could feel that point nearing, drawing closer...and closer.
“Carla,” he breathed out in a harsh rasp, resting his forehead against her sleek thigh. “I need you.”
He flinched when he felt her stiffen, instead of melting in surrender. She quickly scrambled out from beneath him, leaving him kneeling in the middle of the bed while she huddled against the headboard, her golden hair a wild tangle around her flushed face, her pleasure-hazy eyes shocked wide with panic.
“I...I can’t,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I told you...I’m not ready. Not for...that. Not with everything still so...so...”
He pulled in a deep breath as he gripped the back of his neck with one hand, struggling to think through the fog of hunger and craving and searing emotion that was clouding his brain. “Don’t you feel it?” The next words spilling from his lips stunned him even more than they did her. “Don’t you want me anymore?”
“Of course I do. Of course I feel it! But that doesn’t mean I have to give into it.”
“Why, Rey? Why the hell do you keep fighting it?” He moved off the bed and back to his feet, standing at the side of the mattress as he stared down at her. “I’ve said I was sorry, and I meant it. I screwed up and it’s killing me inside. But I never meant to hurt you, and for that I am so damn sorry.”
“It doesn’t change anything, Eli.”
“It could, if you would let it,” he grunted, shoving a hand back through his hair in frustration.
“Look,” she said after she’d taken a careful breath, seeming to brace herself. “I...I don’t want to be one of those women who bitches and moans about how upset she is, but never has the guts to just say what the problem is.”
He waited, alert, heart practically climbing its way up the back of his throat. “I’m listening,” he scraped out.
Pulling the sheet around her body, she moved off the other side of the bed, staring back at him over the mattress. A mere distance of feet that could have been miles for the way it felt to him. “When it comes right down to it,” she told him, “I don’t trust you. You...you completely shattered me when you left. And it was so...so toxic, because I had to hold it all inside, since no one even knew about you...about us, because you’d made it pretty clear you didn’t want anyone to know. Jillian figured it out...but that wasn’t until much later. There was no one I could turn to. No one to hold me when I cried myself to sleep every night. It just...it ate away at me. Changed me.”
“Rey—”
“No,” she whispered, holding up her hand when he started to head around the foot of the bed. “Just let me get this done.”
He nodded as he forced himself to stand still, his throat so tight he could barely swallow.
She wet her lips, blinked a few times, then went on. “Now you’re back, and you’ve suddenly started talking like you want more—a second chance. And messing around is one thing. Basic biology says that we’re desperate for each other because we haven’t been able to scratch this itch in three years, while the bond is doing everything it can to try and pull us together. So it’s obvious why we’re so hot for each other. But we have nothing, no reason whatsoever, to keep going with this thing on an emotional level.”
“You’re wrong,” he growled, hating that she felt that way. That she was even thinking that way, her words ripping his insides to shreds.
“Eli—”
“You want a reason, Rey? Because I have one for you. The fact that I’m falling in love with you all over again is a hell of a good reason.”
She paled so quickly she looked like she was bleeding out. “No...that’s not true. It can’t be.”
Unable to stop the words now that they’d finally broken free, he said, “Or maybe rediscovering is a better word. I never fell out of love with you. Not for one moment, Rey. I just buried it. Hid from it.” He took a few more steps that brought him closer, hating that he wasn’t holding her. “And now you’re going to try to hide from it, too, because you’re scared. But you should trust me when I tell you that it won’t work, baby. It won’t work for shit.”
She lowered her head, her shoulders shaking, and he quickly made his way around the bed, desperate to reach her. But when he placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her precious face to his, the sight of the tears spilling from her eyes made him feel like acid had been poured into his veins. “Christ, don’t do that,” he groaned, swiping at the tears with his thumb. “Please, Rey. It’s breaking my heart.”
“Why? Why are you d-doing this to me?” she cried, shaking so hard her teeth were chattering. “If I’d thought you were g-going to...to do this... Damn it, I never would have gone after you!”
Pushing her hair back from her face, he said, “I would have come back, anyway, Rey. That wasn’t a lie. And I’m so damn sorry. For everything.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing more tears to spill down her cheeks. “Just tell me what you want.”
Roughly, he said, “I want you to forgive me.”
“Eli—”
He cut her off, his voice even rougher than before. “Because I meant it when I said that I love you, Carla. I loved you before, and I love you even more now.”
“Oh, God,” she breathed, her face white as she opened her eyes and stepped away from him, stumbling back. “I just...I need you to go, Eli. Please, just go.”
Frustration filled him so quickly he was surprised he didn’t burst with it. “That’s not going to solve anything. Stop pushing me away.”
She sniffed, swiping at her tears. “I’m not pushing. I just...I need some time to think.”
He opened his mouth, then clamped it shut, knowing that shouting at her would solve nothing. And that’s exactly what he wanted to do at that moment, his beast as angry and frustrated as the man, prowling beneath his skin; a visceral, possessive creature that wanted to break free and claim what it damn well knew belonged to them.
Jesus, maybe I do need to get out of here.
“Please, Eli. If you mean it,” she whispered unsteadily, “and you want me to be able to deal with this, then you have to give me the chance to think it through. Please.”
It went against every single natural instinct he possessed, but he knew she was right. Staying right now wasn’t going to make anything better for either one of them. Not when the only thing he could think about was completing the bond and permanently marking her little ass as his.
Hating the brutal knife being twisted in his chest—the knife he understood all too well that he’d put there—he gave her what she’d asked for, and walked out the door.
Chapter 10
Climbing out of the truck, Eli squinted against the bright rays of afternoon sunlight and looked for Carla in the crowd that had gathered to meet him and his men, as well as Brody and Cian, who had come along with them this time.
Thanks to Rachel, who was currently staying with Eric and Chelsea, their mission that afternoon had been a success. With her help and knowledge of the area and its back roads, they’d been able to pinpoint the location of a weapons stockpile in Hawkley that Roy had been putting together and form a plan for going after them. It’d been a long shot, and while they knew that what they’d found wasn’t the pack’s entire supply, they’d managed to drive away with a hell of a lot of guns that woul
d now be used to protect Silvercrest lives, rather than destroy them.
Though the building they’d targeted had been on the outskirts of the town, Eli had hoped to catch a glimpse of some of the women and children who lived there, ready to take them back with them if that’s what they wanted, but it was just as Rachel had said. The Whiteclaw were cocky enough to leave their munitions poorly protected, but they had the female residents of the town on lockdown, refusing to let them outdoors.
And if Bartley and his men had already arrived, then they were keeping a low profile, because they hadn’t seen a single one of the mercenaries during the two ops that they’d pulled off.
“Jeremy!” he called out as soon as he caught sight of the blond Runner coming across the glade to meet them. “We need Jillian! Lev took a bullet in the shoulder!”
“On it!” the Runner called back, changing direction as he headed back toward his cabin. “Just get him over to our place!” he threw over his shoulder.
James was helping Lev out of the backseat, the blond merc murmuring something about how it must be his lucky day, seeing as how he was finally being allowed near the pretty little witches.
“By the way,” Brody murmured as Lev walked past him holding a wad of cloth against his wounded shoulder. “You flirt with either Jillian or Sayre, and Jeremy’s liable to kill you.”
Lev’s white teeth flashed in a grin. “No worries, man. I’ll be an absolute angel.”
Kyle snorted. “Seeing as how that’s impossible, I should probably say goodbye to you now, Slivkoff.”
Everyone laughed, easing some of the tension that had settled over the group when they’d learned of Lev’s injury, and Eli’s skin prickled with awareness when Carla finally approached him, just as he was shoving his keys into the front pocket of his jeans.
“How’d it go?” she asked, a slight flush on her cheeks as she pushed her hands in her pockets. This was the first time they’d been relatively alone since last night, the others all heading off in different directions, and he wondered if she was embarrassed about what had happened between them in her bedroom, or if that flush had something to do with what he’d told her. Or, hell, maybe she was just warm. For all he knew, she hadn’t even thought about his emotional confession after he’d left her and headed back to his cabin—which had been one of the hardest goddamn things he’d ever had to do.
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