“Yes!” Lugal grinned. “It will be a wonderful adventure. I will enjoy watching the look of pleasure on your face as you allow yourself to eat real food instead of twigs and meager scrapings.”
“Well then, get your genie-licious butt out of the car, Lugal. We’re going to get ourselves some chocolate!”
Chapter Eleven
“Try a sample of the new Wine Valley Foods salami flavored with red wine and garlic? Stays fresh without refrigeration.”
“Yes, thank you,” Lugal answered the woman handing out samples at the grocery store.
Samantha watched him chew slowly, savoring his first taste of processed deli meat. His eyebrow arched in satisfaction.
“It needs no further preservation?” he asked like a seasoned food shopper. Smiling, the woman shook her head. “Amazing. I like this. It would marry well with barley ale. If I had had access to this stays-fresh sustenance when I led my armies across the endless hills and planes for days on end, my men would have thrived. You cook well,” he told the woman. “If it were in my power, I would not hesitate to employ you to prepare food at my hearth.”
A blush coloring her cheeks, the fifty-ish woman smiled. “Oh, he’s a keeper,” she said to Samantha. “Not only handsome, but a great sense of humor.” She fluttered her eyelashes when she looked up at Lugal. It seemed women were incapable of resisting the urge to give in to that feminine wile, among others, when they found themselves within spitting distance of the big, sexy barbarian.
The man was a bona-fide babe magnet, for chrissakes.
Samantha almost wished she had a sturdy broom at her side to bat away all the drooling brazen hussies disguised in mom jeans.
Fortunately, Lugal seemed more captivated by the cavernous grocery store and its contents than its shoppers and staff.
“The people of my time would never believe this. It is like a miracle,” he said, examining the produce and dairy sections. “Such bounty, such an infinite variety of foodstuffs. Hunger would be eliminated. Samantha, the yield here could feed an entire city for countless days.”
Samantha gazed around, trying to see the grocery store through Lugal’s eyes. It was true, a stranger to a modern supermarket could easily get the idea that this was a world and time free of hunger. She thought of the meager offerings so many people had to live on and felt the sting of glut guilt. Samantha and most people she knew took the availability of food for granted. They didn’t stop to appreciate that they never had to worry where their next meal was coming from.
The only time real hunger became an issue was when they were on a diet.
She rolled her eyes at the ludicrous thought. This trek to the store had given her a better understanding why dieting, with its accompanying food deprivation, seemed like such an absurd concept to Lugal.
Times may have changed dramatically over a few thousand years, but not necessarily for the better in some cases. Samantha imagined that dieting and body image issues didn’t even make the list of the top one hundred things a Sumerian worried about on a daily basis…
Oh, gods, blood is running in the streets, the enemy is fast approaching, but I dare not flee because my ass doth look gargantuan in this toga.
“There’s still plenty of hunger in the world, Lugal. There are the haves and the have nots. Those with more than they could ever use, those with enough and those who are always in need.”
Lugal gave a thoughtful nod. “I understand. It was much the same in my time. It is a pity that this inequality still exists after so many centuries. It appears that envy, greed and the thirst for power are forever present.” Lugal sniffed the air. “I smell meat roasting over a fire,” he said, without skipping a beat. “My mouth waters.” Grabbing her hand, he yanked Samantha and her shopping cart alongside him and headed for the savory aroma.
“That’s rotisserie chicken you smell,” Samantha explained as they headed toward the meat department. “We can pick one up for dinner if you like.”
“What is this?” Lugal picked up a giant economy-sized bag of tortilla chips and a jar of salsa from a featured display along the way. In fact, Samantha could barely roll the shopping cart a few feet without Lugal halting as he made another wondrous new discovery.
By the time they reached the checkout counter, the groaning cart was filled to overflowing with delectable, decidedly non-diet-approved goodies.
Except for the five Lean Cuisines Samantha guiltily heaped on at the last minute.
Gazing at the array of mouthwatering treats moving along the conveyor belt as the clerk scanned them, she felt a torrent of guilt wash over her. There was enough food going in those shopping bags to feed a family of four for a week.
She swallowed hard, making a mental note to give extra to her favorite charities, as well as the local food banks, from now on. Of course, if she kept spending money at the rate she had today, with the mall purchase, the kinky toy stuff and all the food, she’d be broke in no time.
“Now that I have told you about my past, little one,” Lugal said as they loaded the bags into her already stuffed car trunk, “you will tell me all about yourself. After that, I will tell you about your three wishes.”
Samantha huffed a little laugh. “There’s really not much to tell. My life is about as boring as you can get.” She glanced over at Lugal. Her genie. Her lover. “Well, at least it was until yesterday. Things have changed a bit since then.”
“Why do you live alone? Do you not have family?”
“There isn’t anyone else. My parents were older when they had me. They passed away a few years ago. I miss them a lot, they were great. I’ll show you some photos when we get home. No brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles or cousins. Just me.” She smiled. “And some good friends like Rosie and Charlie.”
“I am sorry that your parents are no longer with you. But I like Rosie and Charlie and their little goats very much.”
Samantha knew she should correct Lugal about the little goats thing, but it just made her smile each time he said it. He was so serious, so earnest. English and Grammar 101 could come later.
“Did you have children of your own…or a wife?”
“Nay. I had planned to pursue those pleasures after I retired from soldiering. Being in my third decade, I was already growing too old for the vigorous life of a warrior. The constant sea of bloodied body parts had lost its luster.”
“Yeah,” Samantha nodded, not even wanting to imagine something so heinous. “I can definitely see how that could happen.” She couldn’t help being glib about it. The stark reality of all that butchery was just too atrocious to comprehend.
“Worse yet were the suffering half-dead men at my command, many limbless or with their bellies split open like melons and their entrails spilling out on the ground.”
A shudder vibrated through Samantha’s body.
“I can still hear their distressed cries, pleading for merciful deaths at my hand.” Lugal stiffened for a moment as he bent over the trunk, shopping bag in hand. “It was not a pleasant task.”
It was painfully clear that he’d seen and experienced carnage and atrocities that Samantha couldn’t even begin—or ever want—to imagine.
“I’m sorry, Lugal.” She touched his arm, determined not to cry. “It sounds like you led a very difficult life, even before you got locked away in that bottle.”
He seemed to shake off whatever memories lingered as he closed the trunk for her and placed the last of the bags in the car’s back seat. Turning to Samantha, he smoothed the windblown hair from her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb as he gazed into her eyes. The troubled lines in his handsome face eased and she saw his expression change from grave to a bright, charming grin.
It was a picture-perfect moment and she took a mental snapshot to keep tucked away in her heart forever.
“Nay, my life was good, Samantha. As a warrior I had achieved a coveted rank of stature, as well as great respect, both in and outside of Sumer. Battle was harsh and grueling but with victory came great sa
tisfaction and the knowledge that my actions had prevented untold violence by the Akkadians or other invading armies against my people.”
“I bet your life would make a great miniseries.” Lugal’s mouth opened. Before he could ask what she meant, Samantha gave a dismissive wave. “Never mind. I’ll explain later.” They slipped inside the car and she started the engine.
“The only thing in life I regret is not having a family. A devoted wife in my bed and a passel of children at my knee. I was reminded of that with the visit of your friends yesterday. Do you desire to have children one day, Samantha?”
As she buckled herself in, Samantha smiled. “Yes. I love kids. Hopefully I’ll get the chance to have them before my biological clock runs out.” She held up her hand in anticipation of his question. “Which means, before I get too old.”
“You would make a good mother. I could tell by the way you acted with little Mandy and Kevin. Why is it that you have no husband to give you babies?”
“Oh…”
Well that caught Samantha off guard. Nagging self-esteem issues bubbled to the surface and she did her best to squelch them, figuring it was best not to subject Lugal to a whiny pity party.
“I don’t know, really. Things just never quite worked out that way for me. I thought the last guy I dated was just about to ask me to marry him when…” Damn, after all this time that humiliating incident still stung.
“When what, little one? Did you lose the man you loved to war?”
Samantha snickered at the thought. Tommy sooner would have fled the U.S. borders, maybe even going so far as to have a sex change operation, to avoid being in the military and fighting for his country.
“Hardly. I lost Tommy to a pizza waitress. Buckle your seatbelt.” Once he had, she stepped on the gas and they were on their way.
Lugal frowned, clearly working to decipher what she’d said. “Your lover abandoned you for a woman who makes pizzas?”
Samantha laughed. “She didn’t make them, she served them.”
“This siren enticed your man away by appealing to his belly because he was tired of eating dry, tasteless diet food?”
While Samantha’s initial, bristly reaction told her Lugal was trying to be funny, she realized that wasn’t true when she looked over at him. He sat there looking intently at her with an expression that conveyed he was genuinely trying to understand. It was kind of amazing. She never remembered any other man actually listening to what she had to say with any sincere interest.
“There’s a saying about the best way to catch a man being through his stomach,” Samantha said. “But this wasn’t a case of food lust. She was a younger, thinner woman. And what she offered Tommy had nothing whatsoever to do with satisfying a growling belly, believe me.”
“What a fool.” Lugal barked a laugh. “He was an idiot to give you up. You are far better off without this brainless Tommy.”
That definitely warmed Samantha’s heart. “Thank you.”
“When first we met, you made a reference to your huge, monstrous husband and his deadly motorcycle gang that were to tear me limb from limb once they returned,” Lugal reminded her.
“Oh…that…”
“It was clear to me then that this was an idle threat, born of fear.”
“You didn’t believe me, huh?”
“If I had, I would not have bedded you, Samantha. I do not bed women who are pledged or bound to others. It would not be honorable. A man without honor is not a man at all.”
Samantha giggled, which had Lugal frowning. One of his eyebrows lifted in question, while the other angled down like an angry checkmark over his eye. Samantha imagined he could screw up his face any which-way and never look unappealing.
“You find my code of honor to be humorous?”
“Oh no, not at all. I’m sorry. I think your code of honor is wonderfully refreshing. Kind of a throwback to another, more chivalrous time. I giggled because I was thinking that you’re like a cross between Superman and the Lone Ranger, except without the cape and mask.”
“These are friends of yours? I would like to meet them.”
A colorful image of hosting a cocktail party and serving up chocolate martinis to Lugal, Superman, the Lone Ranger, Rosie and Charlie snaked across her mind. “I’ll introduce you to the TV when we get home. You can meet them there.”
“TV? Explain this.”
Samantha sighed. She’d explicitly kept him away from anyplace with TVs in the mall to avoid answering that question. “Trust me, Lugal, if I don’t know how to explain how a microwave works, I definitely don’t know how to explain a TV. You’ll just have to wait and see for yourself. But when you do, the sword can’t be anywhere in the vicinity. TVs are expensive. I can’t afford to have my mine chopped in two if you get all hyper on me.”
“Saber, not sword. You do not have to worry about not being able to afford things now, Samantha. With your three wishes, you can have wealth and riches beyond your wildest dreams.”
“Chocolate…”
“What?”
“Oh, sorry,” Samantha said dreamily. “You mentioned all that wealth and the first thing I thought about was being eternally surrounded by gobs and gobs of super-premium chocolate.” She laughed.
“Would that be your wish? Because, if it is—”
“No! Please tell me you haven’t forgotten what I told you about making my wishes.”
“I have not. I shall wait for your official command. Do not fear.”
“Good. I want to make sure I give this wish thing plenty of consideration before I get locked in to something I might regret later.” The idea of getting wishes granted was mind-boggling. Really difficult to fathom. My God, how could she possibly make such a mega-important decision? Of all the things in the world to wish for, what would be the best or most important?
The end to hunger, poverty and homelessness. Yes, that was a biggie.
World peace. Oh yeah, definitely.
The obliteration of cancer and AIDS and childhood diseases and Alzheimer’s and… What if she could just wish for everyone in the world to be healed and always remain robust and healthy? But then…if no one ever got sick and died, there’d be a monumental population explosion, so maybe that wasn’t the greatest idea.
Maybe she could wish for the world to grow large enough to accommodate the extra throngs of healthy people.
No, that was a majorly stupid idea.
She’d like to figure a way to ask for enough money so she’d be financially secure for the rest of her life, but it would be too selfish to limit the wish to just that. Somehow she’d have to include wealth and riches for everyone she cared about, like Rosie and Charlie and their kids. Bunny Turner could fend for herself.
Ooh, she could wish for an end to obesity so everyone could just feel happy and comfortable and good about themselves.
Happy…oh, now that was something to consider. A wish to abolish depression and for everyone to be happy and joyful all the time.
But maybe that would be selfish. Maybe some people preferred to be cranky and crabby, especially before they had their morning coffee.
Whoa…this wish thing was almost like playing God…
“You look to be in deep thought, little one. What are you thinking of? Perhaps our night of sensual pleasure as we play with our new toys?”
“Not exactly.” She shrugged. “Since you brought up the wishes again, I’ve been thinking about that. It’s a really a huge responsibility when you think about it. I could radically change the world by uttering a few words. How do I make such a difficult decision, Lugal? How do I decide what would truly be the best for everyone?”
“Fascinating…that is a question no one has asked me before, Samantha.”
“Really?” Oh, well that made her feel like a real dolt. Apparently all his other owners were sharp-minded and decisive. Although…she doubted any of them had ever wished for the things she’d been thinking about because, if they had, there’d be no more war, hunger, illness,
unhappiness…
“What did most of the women wish for?”
Lugal didn’t hesitate before answering. “Gold, wealth, expensive dwellings, majestic lifestyles, things of that nature.”
“For the world?”
“Nay, for themselves. The wishes are conditional, Samantha. They must pertain to the possessor’s self-interest and not be cause of harm or misfortune to others. That means you cannot make wishes that affect everyone else.” He reached over to cup her chin.
“Knowing you, I imagine you have most likely been thinking of noble wishes like peace for mankind, the end to illness and suffering, righteous ideals of that nature.”
She took her eyes off the road long enough to spare him a quick glance. The warm, tender smile he gave her warmed her insides better than a deep mug of Baileys and Kahlua-spiked hot cocoa.
“Pretty much,” she admitted.
“These things are not within my power to grant. Your wishes must be for you and you alone, little one. You must decide on three things that would make you happy personally.”
Samantha’s eyes brightened. “My parents…”
“I’m truly sorry, my sweet.” She felt Lugal’s hand caressing her shoulder and massaging her neck. “I am unable to restore life to those who have passed on to Kurnugi. There is good reason why it is called the land of no return.”
As Samantha pulled into her driveway, she gazed at Lugal for a long moment. “What about you, Lugal?”
“I do not understand. What about me?”
“Can I wish you out of that bottle forever? Can I wish that you could stay here with me?” She felt the color rise in her cheeks when she caught the expression on Lugal’s face. The poor man would probably feel just as trapped staying with her as he did in that bottle.
“You wouldn’t have to stay with me, necessarily,” she clarified. “I mean, you could go wherever you wanted and be with…whoever you wanted, of course. But you’d be more than welcome to stay here with me until you found a place of your own…or someone else to live with.” She swallowed the knot in her throat.
Lugal’s broad chest expanded as he took in a deep, slow breath. His smile was wistful. “Nay, the incantation specified that this would not be possible. But I shall forever cherish your sweet, unselfish thought.” He leaned over and captured her lips in a kiss.
Samantha and Her Genie Page 17