Samantha didn’t even want to contemplate what could conceivably happen. But she sure as hell couldn’t take Lugal with her to TBT. “You can’t leave the house. You have to stay here. You can watch TV and use the computer until I get home. I’m just working until twelve, so I’ll only be gone a few hours. There’s plenty of food in the house, so that’s no problem. Oh, and absolutely no saber usage, got that?” She poked his chest.
“You have my word that I shall be prudent, Samantha. What I do not understand is why you must go to this job. Once your wishes are granted, you will not need Bunny Turner or her business. You will own Henley House and your own successful business.”
“I need to go through my office and gather all the special materials I created so I can take them home. Otherwise, Bunny will confiscate them and use them as her own.”
“What kind of materials? Do you speak of fabrics you have sewn? Garments to wear at work?”
“Hah! I’m lucky if I can stitch on a button. Class materials I designed for my own use because I never felt comfortable with the hard sell corporate stuff TBT provided. All they care about is selling their foods, supplements, CDs and pricey contract extensions. That attitude is reflected in all the company materials. I need to get my notebooks, posters and audio-visual stuff out of there before anyone finds out I’m quitting.”
“I understand.”
“I really want to have a chance to say goodbye to all my clients too. They’re all very special to me, Lugal. Dear, wonderful people. They depend on me. I don’t want to just disappear from their lives without an explanation.” She frowned at the painful twinge deep inside. “Damn, it’s going to be hard to leave them—and I know it’ll be hard for them too. Like I’m abandoning them.”
“Can you not explain to them about your three wishes and tell them to become clients at your own business, Beyond the Scale?”
Samantha smiled as the name of her future company spilled from his lips. “You remembered.”
“I would never forget something of such great importance to you, Samantha.”
“Oh lordy,” she sighed, “you certainly are a keeper, Lugal. One in a million.”
He nodded in agreement. “Indeed I am.”
“And don’t forget modest.” Samantha tugged his head down to plant a kiss on his chin. “I’ll explain to my clients that I’m leaving to open my own business, but I have to be careful. I don’t want anyone at TBT thinking I’m trying to harvest their clients. That wouldn’t be right.”
“TBT will be losing an honorable, caring weight-loss counselor.”
“Thanks. After I talk to them, I’ll turn in my resignation. I’ll give a two-week notice, but from past experience when others left the company, they’ll probably tell me to leave right away. Then they’ll have someone watch over me to make sure I don’t take any company property with me.”
“They are mistrustful.” Lugal nodded. “Yes, it is a good plan to take your materials out of there before you resign.”
“You’re absolutely positive that my wishes will come true once I make them, right? There won’t be any glitches?”
“There is no doubt whatsoever. Put your trust in me, Samantha. I would not lead you astray.”
“How can I not trust the man I love? The man who loves me?” She beamed a bright grin, feeling so giddy it was as if she’d downed an entire bottle of champagne. “Okay, after I get home tomorrow I’ll make the first two of my wishes. Once everything is in place I’ll tell Rosie I want her to come to work for me. She’ll be top dog, right under me.” She thumbed her chest and grinned. “I’m the head honcho.”
She laughed when she caught the perplexed look on Lugal’s face. “I’m definitely going to have to clue you in on current vernacular.”
“I would appreciate that.” He smoothed his thumb along her bottom lip before pressing a sweet kiss there. “It would save me from Googling all the gibberish you speak.” His warm smile was charming and appealing, just like the rest of him.
Samantha’s cell phone rang. Reluctantly, she broke away from Lugal’s embrace and walked to the counter, newly aware that she was standing stark naked in her kitchen. Rosie’s number appeared on the readout.
As soon as she answered, it was déjà vu. Just as she’d done when she talked to Samantha in the sex shop, Rosie chattered in her ear, asking if she was okay, if Lugal was still there, if she’d made her wishes yet, etcetera.
After assuring Rosie that all was well, Samantha told her she’d see her at work in the morning. They were working the same eight-to-twelve shift. On a wickedly devilish whim, right before they hung up, Samantha dangled the tidbit that she had a big surprise to tell her about. In the middle of Rosie’s excited third-degree, Samantha said buh-bye, and flipped the phone closed, ending the call.
———
Monday at work was tougher than Samantha had expected. The day had started on a high note as she woke to the alluring aromas of fresh coffee, bacon, eggs and toast. Lugal had prepared breakfast all by himself, which tickled her heart. So what if the coffee was full of grounds because he’d forgotten to put in the filter? Who cared if the bacon was black, the eggs like rubber and the toast charred beyond recognition?
It was the warm, sweet, caring gesture of the man who loved her and she cherished it as she ate from the coffee table in the living room.
While giving her notice following her shift at TBT had been liberating, bidding farewell to her beloved clients had her, and them, in tears. Then, in a totally unexpected move, Rosie surprised Samantha by tendering her resignation as well.
“Charlie’s never had a good feeling about Bunny and TBT anyway,” she told Samantha as they walked to their cars with their closely staff-inspected boxes of personal belongings. “And with you gone, there’s no way I’m going to stay here and be the oldest, chunkiest counselor on the block.” She laughed and Samantha joined her. “Besides, since you’re making me second-in-command at Beyond the Scale…” She paused to giggle. “Have I told you how completely beyond excited I am about that?”
“Only fifty times in the last five minutes,” Samantha teased.
“Can you blame me, Sam? Anyway, I want to give BTS my full attention.”
“But what if it doesn’t work out? What if there’s a glitch in the wishing mechanism? You’ll be left without a job and I’ll feel terrible.”
Rosie shrugged. “I don’t think we have to worry about that, but if anything happens, we’ll find other jobs. No problem, kiddo.” She clapped Samantha on the back. “So let’s hear about you and Mr. Non-Stop-Muscle. What’s the scoop?”
Now it was Samantha’s turn to giggle. Hugging herself, she twirled around in the parking lot. “Oh, Rosie, I’m in love.”
“Uh-huh. Now tell me something I don’t know.” Rosie laughed. “It’s written all over your face, Sam.”
“He told me he’s in love with me too.”
Rosie’s smile shifted into a concerned frown. “Aw, honey, that’s great news but…but what’s going to happen once Lugal gets zapped back inside that bottle? Your little heart will be as good as mincemeat.”
“I know. Losing him is the second worst thing I can think of.”
“And the first?”
Samantha gazed into Rosie’s eyes, blinking back the sudden rise of tears. “Thinking about Lugal being held captive in that damned bottle for eternity. That’s the absolute worst thing I can possibly imagine—even worse than never seeing him again.”
“Charlie’s been doing some archaeological detective work,” Rosie confided, her arm clasped tight around Samantha’s shoulder. “He’s trying to find a way to get Lugal out of this infernal mess.”
Samantha’s heart leapt. “Any luck so far?”
Rosie shook her head. “So far it’s all been dead ends, but he’ll keep trying. You know how determined Charlie gets once he has his mind set on something.” She gave Samantha a sturdy buddy squeeze. “Okay, now let’s get back to your place.”
“Don’t you have t
o pick up the kids?”
“Nope. Charlie’s working from home today. No classes. That means you can cordially invite me to watch as you make your first two wishes.” Samantha opened her mouth to respond. “And if you don’t invite me,” Rosie added before she could speak, “I’m coming anyway.”
Samantha chuckled. “Of course you’re invited. I just hope my little house is still standing once we get there. I’ve been biting my nails over leaving Lugal alone there all morning.”
“No big deal. If your house has been hacked into toothpicks during your absence, you’ll have Henley House anyway, right?”
“Now that’s a positive spin if I ever heard one,” Samantha answered with a wink. “Let’s go.”
A short while later both cars pulled into Samantha’s driveway. She carried her box of the items she’d created to help her clients, while Rosie scooped up Samantha’s other box packed under the watchful eyes of TBT staff.
“Well, I don’t see any fire trucks or ambulances,” Rosie quipped. “And I don’t smell smoke.”
Samantha nodded. “Looks like the place is intact.” She chuckled softly. “Honestly, I don’t know why I was worried. After all, he is an adult. What could happen?” She put her key in the door and opened it.
Samantha and Rosie stepped into the living room just in time to see Lugal fly across the room backward, howling out a noise that Samantha couldn’t mimic if she tried. It looked like his hair was standing on end, kind of like an ebony halo all around his head.
“Holy shit! Lugal!” Gaping, Samantha dropped her box, letting it crash to the floor.
“Son of a bitch!” Rosie shouted, letting go of the box she carried too.
Before either of them even finished their astounded shrieks, Lugal’s body flew past them, crashing through the living room’s picture window behind the couch.
“Shit! Jesus! Oh my God!” Samantha screamed as she scrambled back out the front door to find Lugal sprawled out on the grass, spread eagle, bug-eyed, mouth open in a silent scream and huge shards of glass surrounding him. “Lugal!”
“Is he dead?” Rosie asked, squatting alongside Samantha. “Oh, Sam, look at him. I think he is. His eyes are wide open but they’re just staring. And…oh, fuck, Sam, I think his body’s smoking!”
“No! He said he can’t die,” Samantha cried, grabbing Lugal’s wrist to feel for a pulse. “Lugal, look at me. Speak to me!”
“I don’t think he’s breathing,” Rosie said.
Sucking in a sharp breath, Samantha said, “I don’t think he is either. Oh God, Rosie, what are we going to do?”
“Call an ambulance, I guess. What the fuck happened? How could he just fly across the room like that?”
“Well, how the hell would I know? I was with you. Lugal, listen to me.” Samantha held his hand in hers, slapping it. She was afraid to jostle any other part of him in case she made his injuries worse. “This is the voice of your possessor, Lugal. I am your mistress, your owner and I command you to breathe. Breathe, dammit! That’s a direct order!”
Just as Rosie was about to dial 911, Lugal’s chest expanded with a mighty whoosh and it seemed his lungs filled with air.
A warm gush of tears flowed down Samantha’s cheeks. “He’s alive. Oh, Lugal, you’re alive!”
“He might be alive but it sure as hell looks like he’s not feeling too keen,” Rosie noted.
“Say something, Lugal,” Samantha urged. “Tell me what happened. Are you terribly hurt?” Lugal mumbled something. “Did you hear what he said, Rosie?”
“No. He sounds like the tin guy in the Wizard of Oz when he was trying to say oil can.” She slanted Samantha a questioning look. “Hey, do you think he’s trying to ask for an oil can?”
“No.” Samantha tsked. “Why would he ask for that? He’s a genie, not a tin man. Come on, Lugal. Talk. Tell me what I should do.”
Lugal blinked, but his eyeballs didn’t move. Well, they sort of jiggled a little, but he just kept staring straight up.
“Electricity,” he said just loud enough for them to hear.
“Holy shit, that’s it,” Rosie said. “That’s why his hair was sticking straight out when he sailed past us. He electrocuted himself.”
“I suppose a powerful enough electrical shock could propel him through the air like that,” Samantha said. “I saw it on one of those science shows once. Lugal, is that what happened? Did you get an elec—”
“Silver paper.” He turned his head ever so slowly and looked at the two women kneeling at his side. “Foil. I make experiment.”
For the first time, Samantha noticed the two-inch wide cuffs of aluminum foil coiled around each of his bare arms above the elbow and at the wrist.
“What on earth did you do?”
“Examination of electrical outlet to see how it works. Metal foil made big shock.”
“Typical man,” Rosie said, shaking her head. “They’re all just a bunch of overgrown kids.”
Samantha growled in frustration. “Didn’t I tell you not to get into any trouble while I was gone? Dammit, Lugal, you could have killed yourself.” She was trembling from combined fear, relief and anger.
He uttered a whisper of a chuckle, then winced. “Nay. Cannot die. Only feels like dying.”
“Are you in a lot of pain?” Rosie asked.
“Plenty.”
The damn fool chuckled again and pain etched itself across his features.
“Now I understand meaning of conducting electricity,” he said, his power of speech still not quite back to normal. “I Googled to learn about it.”
Rosie gave Samantha a cockeyed look. “Did he say he Googled?”
“Yeah.” Samantha sighed. “I showed him how.” She shrugged. “How was I supposed to know he’d go and do something stupid and practically fry himself?” She narrowed her eyes at Lugal. “I’m very angry with you right now, Lugal. The only thing keeping me from wringing your neck is the fact that you’re in so much pain. I hope you learned a lesson from this.”
“I learned you are pretty when you are angry.” He gave her a loopy smile.
She couldn’t help but smile in return. Then she leaned over him and kissed the corner of his mouth.
“Ow.” He winced.
“Oh…” Her fingers flew to her lips. “I’m sorry.”
“Not to worry, little one. I heal very soon.”
“What’s all the ruckus?”
Samantha looked up to see Mrs. Willoughby inching her way up the sidewalk with her walker.
“Ooh, Lord a’mighty. Is that poor boy okay?”
“Yes, Mrs. Willoughby,” Samantha answered. “He’s…uh, he’s the electrician I hired to fix uh…an electrical problem. There was an accident, but he’s just fine now.”
“Electrician, hmm? Guess they’re workin’ bare-chested and sleepin’ over to get the job done nowadays.” Her wrinkled old face cracked a smile and she winked. “I may be old but I’ve still got eyes.”
Samantha could have died.
“Wow, you just turned twelve shades of red, Sam,” a giggling Rosie helpfully observed.
“Poor guy seems accident prone,” Mrs. Willoughby noted. “Least that’s the way it seemed when he was playing Tarzan and fell out of that tree out back a while earlier.”
“What!” Samantha gasped and her gaze flew back to Lugal. “You fell out of a tree?”
“Yup, him and his sword. Right on to the roof and then down to the grass. Boom!” Mrs. Willoughby explained with a sharp thwack of her walker against the concrete walk. “I was out back watering my azaleas and saw the whole thing. Thought he killed himself for sure. I was about to dial an ambulance when he suddenly hopped back to his feet.”
“Too heavy for branch,” Lugal explained.
“What in the hell were you doing up in the tree in the first place?” Samantha demanded.
“Gathering wood to make new table for kitchen.” The corner of Lugal’s mouth curved up.
“Oh for chrissakes.” Samantha breathed a wei
ghty sigh.
“What happened to the old table?” Rosie asked.
“It broke when we—” Lugal began.
“Nothing!” Samantha blurted, giving Lugal a warning glare. If he hadn’t been in agony she would have slapped her hand over his mouth as a precaution. “It…it just got old and it cracked, that’s all.”
“Anything I can do for the poor boy?” Mrs. Willoughby asked, her eyes roving over Lugal’s large, spread, half-naked body. “Like maybe some mouth-to-mouth?” She snickered. “It’s been a while, but I think I could get the hang of it again.”
Clearing her throat, Samantha smiled and said, “No thank you, Mrs. Willoughby. Everything’s under control.”
“Electrician. Hah!” the old woman noted as she toddled off with a clack-thump, clack thump as her walker connected with the ground. “Electricians never looked like that in my day.”
“You never told me that Mrs. Willoughby is a dirty old lady,” Rosie said, laughing.
Samantha grinned as she watched the old woman hobble back to her house, her step a bit more spry than she’d seen it before. “I never knew.”
Lugal suddenly sat up. “I am better now.”
Samantha looked at his back. “You’re bleeding!” She carefully plucked small jagged shards of glass from his skin. “There’s glass embedded all over your back.”
“It will go away. Did you know there are more ways than just a simple switch to turn on your coffeemaker?”
“Oh Lord…what are you talking about, Lugal?”
“By touching the correct wires together—”
Rosie laughed. “He probably blew up your coffeepot.”
“Nay. I only took it apart to learn how it works.”
Samantha’s shoulders slumped. “Oh dear. I’m afraid to ask what else you did.”
“Nothing as amazing as my electrical outlet experiment. But there have been some excellent modifications. I have improved many household things for you, Samantha.” Lugal beamed a grin and Samantha groaned.
“Holy shit. Look, Sam,” an astonished Rosie said. “The cuts on his back are healing. They’re just disappearing. He’s not bleeding anymore.”
Samantha and Her Genie Page 26