by Aj Harmon
“Really,” Sophia insisted. “You can go home and rest,” she chuckled. “You’ve earned it.”
“Are you sure?” her mother asked again.
“I’m sure. Thank you so much for staying as long as you did. I love you both.”
Aldo kissed his daughter on the cheek and he took Gloria by the hand and led her home. Sophia was feeling better. Her stomach had finally settled after a glass of ginger ale and with Lisa asleep all was quiet. It gave her a couple of hours to work on homework.
Taking college classes over the internet had been a brilliant idea. It had been Ben’s idea and he was brilliant so it all made sense. She figured she had two more semesters and she would have completed her degree, something that she hadn’t even imagined would actually come to fruition. Having a husband and a family made it difficult to get her studying done, but they’d worked it out. Ben was completely supportive of her decision to finish her education, and even though he’d reminded her over and over again that she would never have to worry about money, she needed to graduate…for herself. A few of the classes had required her to actually go to campus, but this semester, her two classes were both online, which was just as well given her propensity to worshipping the porcelain god. She could study when the children were asleep and that worked well.
Eighteen more credits was all she needed to graduate. Alex had decided to attend NYU and she wanted to be finished by the time he began. That only gave her one more year, as Alex was almost a senior in high school. How the years had flown by.
As Sophia worked away on her laptop, writing a twenty page paper, the words flowed and references that she had noted to use seemed to weave themselves together seamlessly. In some ways, she felt she had an advantage in her major of early childhood education, as she already had three children. But she was learning so much and feeling proud of her accomplishments so far. She was averaging an A- GPA and not feeling like she was neglecting her family.
After two hours of typing away, only getting up three times when her bladder refused to be silent, she had made an excellent start to her paper and hoped to have it finished by Sunday evening. The phone rang and she grabbed it quickly, not wanting the shrill sound to wake Lisa. She was enjoying the peace.
“Hey!” she smiled into the phone. “I thought you had a crazy afternoon.”
“Sophia,” Ben said. “Matt just called. Something terrible has happened.”
7.
Paul & Nic
The days of taking a long hot shower were over. So were the days of sleeping in, a midnight run for pizza, and lazy Sunday mornings making love ‘til noon.
Nic quickly rinsed the conditioner from her hair and shut off the water. With a towel wrapped around her she peeked out of the bathroom to see who was awake. Paul sat up in bed, leaning on the headboard, with both children crawling over him. Quietly, she shut the bathroom door and quickly dried off and stepped through to the closet and dressed in navy blue trousers and a button-up short-sleeved pale blue cotton blouse. Not having nearly enough time to do anything else, she quickly braided her wet hair and applied a small amount of make-up. Her kindergartners really didn’t care what she looked like. Bending over to grab a pair of shoes, the button from her pants popped off and rolled under the shelf.
“Damn!” she muttered as she sat down on the bench and sighed. Nothing fits anymore, she thought as she glanced at her clothes hanging in front of her. Her eyes looked upward to the clear plastic tote on the top shelf. “Guess it comes down today.”
Standing on the bench she just vacated, she stretched up until her fingers finally managed to touch the plastic.
“What the heck are you doing?” Paul bellowed as he walked in, Annie clinging to his leg and sitting on his foot as he walked.
“Trying to reach my maternity clothes.”
“You should have yelled. Come on. Move,” he chuckled as he grabbed his wife around the waist and pulled her off the bench. “Annie? Can you let go for two seconds, please?”
“No,” the three year old replied.
Nic rolled her eyes and pried her daughter from Paul, just long enough for him to grab the tote, lower it to the ground, and kiss Nic on the forehead. Then Annie threw herself at her father and grabbed his cheeks in her little chubby hands and kissed him smack on the lips.
“Thank you,” he chuckled. “Now let’s let mommy get dressed, k? Gregory?” he yelled. “Come on! Breakfast time.” He left Nic in peace to rummage through the tote for something to wear.
In the kitchen, Paul sat Annie on a stool at the counter and opened the fridge and pulled out milk and eggs.
“Can I have Captain Crunch?” Gregory asked as he wandered in.
“Sure,” Paul nodded. “Annie? Do you want cereal, too?”
She shook her head. “Eggs and toast.”
He got to work feeding his kids, Gregory first, as he left for school with Nic. Now in first grade, he didn’t like the fact that he had to wait in the kindergarten room with his mother until school started. That room was for babies and he was not a baby anymore. But he did like the perks of having his mother being a teacher at his school. He liked walking to and from school with her. It was time that he didn’t have to share her with his little sister. And, sometimes he would have lunch in her classroom with his cousins who also went to his school. He liked to do that.
As Paul plated some scrambled eggs and a piece of toast for Annie, Nic rushed in and poured herself some orange juice. She chugged it down in just a couple of gulps and then grabbed her forehead when the pain hit.
“ARGH!”
Paul laughed. “You do this all the time. Brain freezes are avoidable, you know.”
“Thank you,” she smirked, as she rubbed her head.
“You have plenty of time,” he added. “Have some eggs.”
“Ew, no,” she frowned. “The thought is not appealing this morning.”
Though she didn’t have morning sickness, there were some foods Nic just couldn’t eat during her pregnancy. Eggs were near the top of the list. Watermelon, however, was not on the list and as she opened the fridge to return the juice to its shelf, she grabbed a large container full of it for lunch.
“I don’t understand how a fruit that’s basically water can sustain you throughout the day,” Paul said.
“I could eat buckets of it,” she replied. “But I’ll take some pita chips and hummus too, k?”
He grinned and nodded. “Do I have ten minutes for a shower before you leave?”
“Yep,” she smiled.
“Thanks,” he said as he hurried from the kitchen.
*****
Now married for eight years, Paul and Nic had settled into a comfortable and happy life. Still a kindergarten teacher, Nic loved her job, especially being able to have her sweet nieces and nephews in her class, and her own children at least in the same building.
Paul was now the Executive Director of a non-profit organization that worked with veterans. He repeatedly reminded himself how lucky he was to have found a second career after leaving the Navy Seals that he loved almost as much as being a Seal, albeit considerably less dangerous. It certainly wasn’t the same as the rush of a mission, or as physically demanding as being active in the military, but he knew that what he was doing now also made a difference in the world. And he strongly believed that the veterans deserved to have the opportunities he was working so hard to ensure they received.
Another wonderful thing about his job, was that his office time was flexible. There were many things that he could do from home and so two days a week, he stayed at home with Annie. It required discipline to actually work and not just play with his baby girl all day, but he was managing quite nicely, and it meant Annie was only in daycare three days a week. Not that daycare was a problem. There was a wonderful young lady in their building who watched her. Talk about convenient and she was thrilled at the prospect of watching the new baby if and when Nic decided to go back to work after her maternity leave was up, although no de
cisions had been made yet, as that was still a few months away.
It had been a wonderful surprise to announce at a Sunday family dinner that they were expecting another baby, only to have Ben and Sophia reveal that they, too, were pregnant. The cousins were due just ten days apart. Maureen couldn’t have been happier. For so long she’d wondered if her sons would ever get married, let alone give her grandchildren and now here they were popping out babies every couple of years.
Paul was shaving when Nic walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Resting her cheek on the damp skin of his back she sighed.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Mmm. I think we should go away this summer. Just the two of us. We can leave the kids with someone and have a few days all to ourselves.”
“That sounds fantastic. Do you think you can leave them for long? Last time we left for a weekend, we came home on Saturday,” he chuckled. “You made it all of one night.”
“I know, but Annie’s older now. She’d probably enjoy a vacation from us, too.”
“Let’s get through the next month and then we can make plans.”
“K,” she agreed and kissed his skin before pushing away. “It’s time for us to leave.”
“I’ll be dressed in a minute.”
*****
Gregory was very much like his mother. He was going to be an intellectual. Paul could already tell by the way he did his homework; the fact he loved the science channel over cartoons; he would prefer to play with Legos over playing at the park. Annie, on the other hand, was probably going to follow in her father’s footsteps and become a Navy Seal, according to Nic. In her short three years of life, she’d seen the inside of the Emergency Room five times. If it wasn’t for the fact that Adam was their pediatrician, Nic would be worried that Child Protective Services would be paying them a visit.
Annie launched herself off furniture with reckless abandon. She purposely shoved Paul’s keys into an electric outlet just to see what would happen. Wanting to fly, she climbed up the steps at her grandparents’ house and launched herself into the air, escaping serious injury by landing on her Uncle Mark. He didn’t escape injury and broke his wrist.
Privately, Paul was elated by his daughter’s fearlessness. She would never let anybody push her around, either. At the ripe old age of three and a half, she possessed a kick-ass attitude and take-no-prisoners approach to life. But Nic worried about her constantly, so Paul tried his best to allow Annie her adventures, but in a contained way.
Like this morning, after spending thirty minutes on a conference call with the VA, he walked into her bedroom and found that his sweet daughter had built a tower of some kind with her bedroom furniture. She’d managed to lift her chair onto the table and had balanced her doll house on top of the chair. Now she was climbing up, already on the chair preparing to hoist herself onto the house.
“What on earth are you doing?” Paul exclaimed as he rushed to grab her before she toppled to the floor.
“Trying to touch the ceiling,” she replied, as if it was the most normal thing in the world for her to be doing.
“Why?”
“Because I haven’t yet.”
Holding her against his chest, he stifled the laugh trying to get out. Then, without warning, he tossed his daughter high in the air and caught her as she came back down.
“Again!” she screamed as she giggled wildly. Her daddy obliged.
Over and over he threw her into the air and she became giddy with delight as she hit the ceiling with her hand each time she flew through the air. After a couple of minutes, Paul held her tightly and kissed her cheeks.
“There,” he grinned. “Ceiling has been touched. Let’s go and have some lunch.”
*****
“I appreciate your help and look forward to seeing you,” said Paul into the phone. “I know that you have been an amazing ambassador for our organization and I can’t thank you enough.”
Paul had been introduced to Fred Borsten by his brother, David. Several years ago, shortly after Paul had joined the organization that he now ran, Fred had been in dire straits. Through David’s association with Lou, Fred’s daughter, Paul had been able to assist Fred secure adequate housing and continued medical attention for his diabetes. Now Fred was speaking at events to help elicit donations, and also to encourage those veterans needing help, to come forward and ask, sometimes difficult because of pride.
Paul ended his conversation and typed up some notes on his laptop. After proofreading the document, he emailed it off to his assistant at the office. Stretching his arms high above his head, he stood and was just about to check on Annie, who’d been asleep for well over an hour when the phone rang.
“Hello?” he said cheerfully.
“Hey, Paul,” came Mark’s voice.
“Hi. How are you?”
“Not good. Paul? Something has happened…” Mark choked out.
8.
Tim & Beth
Beth had barely slept, spending most of the night tossing and turning. At one point, she’d crept from the bedroom, closing the door behind her so as to not wake her husband, and sat in the living room in the dark. Silent tears had soaked her cheeks as she’d muffled her sobs into a pillow.
When the shrill alarm sounded, she’d slapped it off quickly and slid from the bed. Standing in the bathroom door, she gazed at Tim sleeping peacefully. She’d let him sleep for a few more minutes before the ugliness of the day began.
Unable to put a coherent thought together, Beth stumbled around the bathroom, turning on the shower, brushing her teeth, throwing her pajamas on the floor in a pile. For the last few weeks, she’d known this day would come. She just hadn’t wanted to think about it and by not thinking about it, she’d hoped that it would just be postponed indefinitely. No such luck.
Stepping under the scalding beads of water, Beth hung her head and let the warmth cascade over her. Tim slipping in behind her didn’t even make her jump like it usually did.
“Morning, beautiful,” he whispered as he nibbled on her shoulder while wrapping his arms tightly around her waist and pulling her back to him. She remained silent as he continued trailing kisses along her shoulders and on her neck.
“I…I don’t think I can,” she whimpered.
“I know,” he replied with a sad smile. “But let me hold you,” he said as he turned her around and pulled her against his chest. “I wish there was something I could say to make it all better…something I could do.”
“Me too.”
But there was nothing anyone could do. Not even the Veterinarian could help. Today was the day. Today she had to say goodbye and she had no idea how she was going to do it.
*****
While still working as an editor, Beth had not worked much over the past few months. Personal issues had kept her from being able to concentrate on the ramblings of others. However, she’d started a journal and found it occupied much of her time and Tim was encouraging her to turn it into a book. He’d said that many people would want to read it. Beth knew there might be a few who’d want to read her most personal thoughts, but she wasn’t sure that she wanted to let them inside her mind…and her heart. Infertility was common, but also extremely personal and heartbreaking. Was she willing to expose herself like that?
Their struggle had begun a few years ago when they’d stopped all forms of birth control, deciding that they’d let nature take its course. After a year, Beth had gone to see her Gynecologist and discussed it with her. A few tests were run, on her and Tim, and she was diagnosed with PCS, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Armed with prescriptions for drugs designed to help her conceive, they tried for over two years with no success. Holistic approaches were taken and were not realized. Having just undergone their third in vitro fertilization attempt a few days ago, they waited. Tim remained hopeful while Beth, plagued with hormonal fluctuations, waited for the doctors to tell her, once again, that it had not taken.
All that had happened over the pas
t few years was documented in a Word document on her laptop. Everything. Not just the clinical procedures, but the emotional toll it had taken on her and her husband. And to make matters worse, her sisters-in-law were popping out babies left and right. Not that she wasn’t thrilled for them all. She was. Always the first to volunteer to babysit, Beth found herself surrounded by nieces and nephews and thrilled with the opportunity. It was when she was no longer with them that her heart broke once again.
Tim was the eternal optimist. After each time they made love, or after each procedure, he would hold her in his arms and whisper, “This is it! Do you think we just made our baby?” And then he’d kiss her tears away when her period would come…the answer being a resounding “no.” It was all just way too hard.
The journal had been helpful. She’d been able to pour out her innermost thoughts and feelings and there wasn’t anybody to judge her for them. She’d been honest and raw as she pounded away on the keyboard, leaving nothing unspoken…or un-typed. She hadn’t even let Tim read it, although he knew what was in it. She was open with him and shared her feelings truthfully. They were a team and she didn’t want to hide things from him, especially as her hormone levels fluctuated like a roller coaster. She needed him to love her unconditionally and she hadn’t been let down by him once. Eventually she’d probably let him read it, just not yet. It was still too soon.
As Beth left the bedroom, she walked down the hall of their spacious apartment, a gift from Matt when she’d married Tim. Three empty bedrooms sat waiting to be filled with little bodies…the babies she craved. Andrew and Rory had discussed with them the possibility of adoption, but she wasn’t ready to go there…yet. They had to exhaust all other avenues first, and then…well, they’d wait and see.