by Aj Harmon
Leslie nodded. “We loved him, and we know he loved us, but, you should be the one to take care of it. I know he would have wanted it this way.”
Matt nodded. “Anything you need.”
“Will you take him to your house in the Bahamas and spread his ashes in the ocean? He loved it there. He spoke of the peace he felt there and how he thought he might like to retire there one day. It should be his final resting place.”
“Of course,” agreed Matt. “But why don’t you do it? It would be…”
“No,” Leslie interrupted. “He loved you like a brother. You were with him every day. Please?”
So it was agreed that Matt would take Ray to the place he loved most.
10.
Goodbye
It had taken almost four weeks, but it was decided that the entire family would travel to the Bahamas to say goodbye to their friend. The annual fundraiser was behind them, school had just let out for summer break and work projects were put on hold. Schedules were rearranged and the flight booked. It would be a bittersweet trip. Who didn’t love a couple of weeks in a mansion on a tropical island? Yet, they weren’t going for fun.
Peter and Maureen were the first to step onto the plane bound for Freeport. Each day Peter shook off a little more of the guilt he carried with him, but it was difficult for him knowing that Ray had given his own life in protecting him. Peter had thought of him as a surrogate son and his heart had broken just as it would if it’d been one of his seven boys.
Settled in their seats, the rest of the family piled onto the private jet. It was the first family trip they’d taken together since the Caribbean cruise several years before. How things have changed since then, thought Maureen, as she watched her children, their spouses, and all the grandchildren fill the cabin of the aircraft with laughter, chatter, and in some cases, wailing.
Joseph was very unhappy with the current seating arrangement and made his feelings known. He wanted desperately to sit near Alex, which meant Charlie had to be moved because he didn’t want to sit by Isabelle. With great diplomacy and tact, Rory convinced Isabelle that she should sit with Annie, so her little cousin wouldn’t be scared, and then Adam took Lisa with him and Shelby moved over by Amanda.
Chaos ensued for several minutes until all were seated, belted in, and ready for take-off. It was going to be a long flight.
*****
The house was ideally situated near Freeport on Grand Bahama. It sat just a couple of hundred feet from the water with a mile of private beach. It boasted over fourteen thousand feet of living space but with eight families, plus Adam, Tyler, Derek and Shelby, it felt slightly cramped.
The billiard room, den and music room were turned into bedrooms, with a few of the older grandchildren sleeping on air mattresses in the family room. Adam called dibs on the pool house and was happy with the private accommodations. Tyler wanted to share with him, but Adam adamantly refused. With everyone unpacking and grabbing snacks, Adam took the opportunity to grab some alone time, as he closed the French doors behind him after entering the pool house.
It was a large room with a small seating area and flat screen television on the wall, a dining table and four chairs, a small compact kitchen, a large bed full of decorative pillows, and a bathroom that contained a sink, toilet and large walk-in shower. The idea of being slightly separate from the rest of the family was appealing to him for many reasons.
He loved kids. He wanted children of his own. But he was around them all day being a pediatrician and this break from work was needed. He’d recently lost two of his patients to leukemia and it had taken a toll on him. Some relaxation was what he needed, even though that was not was this trip was all about. He loved all of his cousins, but he also needed a break from them. The pool house was a perfect place for him to hide.
When the knock came on the door, he almost didn’t answer, but then he saw her and jumped from the bed and opened the door.
“You’re smart to claim this first,” Shelby chuckled. “I wish I’d known it was here.”
“Is this your first time here?”
She nodded. “It’s magnificent. I can’t imagine ever wanting to leave here and go home. The weather is perfect. The house is incredible, and the beach is just right there!”
“You know I didn’t grow up with any of this type of stuff,” Adam said, waving his arm around the luxury they stood in. “But it sure is a nice way to spend a couple of weeks.”
“I know,” nodded Shelby. “This a vast contrast to the house I lived in with my mother.”
The statement sobered Adam. He didn’t want to say anything to cause her pain as she remembered the unfortunate events of her childhood.
“I’m sorry,” he stuttered. “I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s okay,” she smiled. “I think after years and years of therapy I have come to terms with my past. I can talk about it. Well, most of it. It’s almost like I’m talking about someone else…like all the terrible things that happened…that they happened to someone else…not me. I’m trying not to be that scared little girl anymore.”
“Do you think about it?”
“Sometimes,” she shrugged. “As crazy as it sounds, I think that maybe it all happened the way it was supposed to.”
“How?” Adam was shocked. “Why would you think that?”
Shelby sat on the sofa and got comfortable. “My mom was a drug addict. Drugs were always more important than I was. Her boyfriends were usually men that supplied her the drugs. Basically, she sold herself to anyone who could enable her addiction. If it wasn’t for…for what happened to me, I would never have been brought to the Emergency Room that day and I would have never met Katy. Then where would I be?”
“But rape is never…I mean, you shouldn’t wish…you can’t mean that…”
“No,” Shelby answered his question. “No child should be assaulted as I was. That’s still really hard for me to think about. And the nightmares are still all too real. But look where I am now? Look what I’ve done with my life? I thank God every day that I met Katy, and then Mark, and then…you.”
“Me, too,” he whispered.
The shrieks of laughter erupted outside as water from the pool splashed everywhere.
“POOL PARTY!” Mark screamed and cannon-balled into the deep end.
“Time to go swimming,” Shelby grinned, and walked back to the house to get changed.
Adam watched her leave. No. He hated that her mother’s boyfriend had raped her over and over again. He hated that she’d been beaten to a pulp. But he was glad he’d met her. He was very glad she was a part of his life.
*****
The last time Matt and Janie had been in their vacation home, just a few months before when they’d escaped the miserable winter weather in Manhattan, Ray had been with them. He’d sat on the beach with them and built sand castles. Ray had dug out buckets and buckets of sand and made a speed boat with a steering wheel and seats and he and the children had played for hours as they’d each taken a turn at driving the boat. Matt sat on the balcony outside the master bedroom and gazed at the sand…the very sand they’d all played in just last year. It seemed like yesterday and at the same time, it seemed like a lifetime ago.
It had been over four weeks since Ray had left them and it hadn’t gotten any easier. Matt often found himself reaching for the phone to call him, or thinking he heard his voice in a crowd. He missed his friend. Terribly.
“Kids are all asleep,” Janie smiled, as she stepped onto the balcony and sat next to her husband. “After the flight and playing all afternoon, they’re wiped out.”
“Me, too,” he replied.
“Have you thought about how you want to do this?” she asked.
Matt closed his eyes and sighed. “I don’t want to do it. I don’t want him to be gone. I want him to walk through the door and say hello. I don’t want to say goodbye. I’m not sure I can.”
Janie stood and slid onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and pu
lling him to her breast. If there was something she could do to take the pain away from him, she’d do it in a heartbeat. But she felt the same pain. Ray had been the big brother she’d never had. She loved him and missed him. Terribly.
Somehow they’d get through it. Together.
*****
“I think I’m old enough to have outgrown the kids’ table,” Alex scowled at his mother. Sophia nodded and he happily headed outside to eat his lunch with Ben.
Most of the women were in the kitchen arranging the kids and trying to get them to eat, which was always a difficulty when they were all together. It was much more fun to play with their food than eat it.
Beth stood off to the side, watching the mothers with their children. The last month had been the worst of her life. Now she stood in the lap of luxury in a magnificent estate in perfect weather. Yes, they’d come to say goodbye to Ray, and it was a somber occasion, but the family had decided to try and enjoy the trip. Ray wouldn’t want them moping around. He’d want a blow-out party for his send-off. But that didn’t make it any easier for her. She desperately missed Cleo and the anxiety over the last round of IVF was beginning to make her crazy. She’d waited until the day before they left on the trip to have the pregnancy test. The call would be coming any time now. Had it worked? Or would she, once again, be dismally disappointed.
“Aunt Beth? Are you gonna eat lunch?” Amanda asked. “You can sit by me.”
“I would love to sit next to you,” Beth smiled at her niece. She grabbed a bun and squirted ketchup and mustard on it and then added an almost charred hamburger patty and some cheese, lettuce and tomato and a handful of carrots and pulled up a chair in between Amanda and Isabelle.
Sophia threw her hand up to her mouth and ran down the hall to the bathroom.
“Poor girl,” Maureen said, as she wiped up some sloshed milk from the counter, the newest sippy cup not holding up to the marketing claims on the packaging. “I hope it gets better for her soon.”
The other women agreed and Beth bit into her hamburger. She’d be thrilled to have morning sickness morning, afternoon and night if it meant she could have a baby. She wouldn’t complain one bit.
But for now, she would just enjoy her precious nieces and nephews and pray that one day she’d get her miracle. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Tim watched his wife through the doorway and instinctively knew what she was thinking by the way she looked at Amanda seated beside her. He saw the longing looks…the sadness in her smile. She couldn’t hide it from him. He wondered what he could do to cheer her up…to make her forget her heartache for just a moment. As his phone rang in his pocket, he didn’t have time to consider the answer to his question.
He didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?”
“Is this Tim Lathem?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, good! This is Dr. Ringer. I’ve tried your wife’s phone but she didn’t answer.”
“Hello, Dr. Ringer. Ah, she probably doesn’t have it turned on right now. We’re out of the country. Is there something you needed?”
“Well, I needed to give you an update. Is this a good time?”
“Sure it is. Is it good news? Should I get Beth? Or should you tell me and then I can find a way to break the bad news to her?”
Dr. Ringer laughed. “Would you like to break the good news to her?”
Tim gasped. “Good news?”
“Very good news,” he replied.
That evening, after all the children had been put to bed, and all the adults had shared several well-deserved bottles of wine, one by one, each couple headed off to their rooms, Paul and Nic, and Beth and Tim remaining on the patio overlooking the beach.
The waves gently lapped on the sand and the moon cast a beautiful golden reflection across the water. There was a slight breeze that was warm on the skin and Beth asked for a glass of wine for the second time.
Her first request earlier in the evening, Tim had said he’d forgotten when he came back from the bar with a can of cola. She’d shrugged and drank half of the can. This time she was a little more insistent.
“Please remember my wine this time,” she’d called after him, as he strolled inside.
“I think I’m gonna call it a night,” Nic smiled. “I’m tired!”
“Okay,” said Paul and helped his wife from her chair. “We’ll see you guys in the morning.”
“Night,” Beth smiled, as they left her alone of the patio.
Tim returned a moment later carrying two glasses. He handed one to her.
“This is water,” she frowned. “Do we need to get your hearing checked?”
“I’m not getting you any wine.”
“Why not?” she said, irritation in her voice.
“Did Paul and Nic go to bed?”
“Yes,” Beth scowled as she sipped the ice water.
“Beth? I have something I need to tell you.”
“That sounds ominous,” she replied. “Lay it on me,” she sighed.
“You can’t have any wine, or any alcohol, for the next little while.”
“What?”
Tim grinned, unable to keep a blank expression on his face. “Dr. Ringer called today.”
“What?”
“Dr. Ringer called. We’re going to have a baby!”
*****
“What the hell?” Matt exclaimed as he sat up straight.
“Somebody screamed,” Janie said jumping from the bed and grabbing her robe.
“Stay here!” Matt ordered as he ran from the room and down the stairs, Janie following close behind him.
At the foot of the stairs they met Mark and Katy who’d also heard the noise. They were then joined by Andrew and Rory.
Peter stood at the top of the stairs. “What was that?” he barked.
“I don’t know,” Matt said as he picked up one of the children’s cricket bats that lay near the stairs.
“That’s going to defend us all,” Mark chuckled.
Matt ignored his brother and stalked through the darkened house towards the children in the family room. All was quiet and all the children were accounted for. As he turned, he saw a silhouette on the patio. He tiptoed in that direction. A squeal came again and then laughing. Matt drew back the bat and stepped outside through the open doors.
“Oh, it’s you!” he sighed with relief as he saw Tim and Beth in each other’s arms. “We heard a scream and…”
“Sorry,” Beth grinned. “That was me.”
“Are you alright?” Matt asked, concern immediately back again.
“We’re fine!” Tim smiled. “All three of us.”
*****
The next morning was bittersweet. It was the day that had been set aside for Ray’s ashes to be washed away in the clear turquoise water. But the excitement and joy that filled the house was palpable. The news that after years of disappointment Beth was finally pregnant lifted the sadness that had encircled the Lathems for the past four weeks. As they said goodbye to Ray, they also rejoiced in the coming arrival of another precious baby.
At eleven o’clock, the family met together at the water’s edge. Matt held a silver urn in his hands as he solemnly walked a few feet into the warm water and quietly said his goodbyes. Tears were shed, memories were remembered and the ashes washed away quickly into the ocean.
Several minutes went by before Matt could turn and face his family. His tear-stained cheeks spoke volumes. It was hard to say goodbye. But he had and it was time to let Ray go.
11.
The Wake
Several years before, Matt and Ray had attended a funeral for a member of the security team at MEL Holdings. He’d died in a motorcycle accident that had shocked the company and blanketed them in grief for several weeks. He’d been a well-liked and beloved member of the work family and the church had been overflowing with those people whose hearts he’d touched during his short thirty-two year life.
The two men had sat on the bench of the church grieving with every
one else when Ray had turned to Matt and quietly whispered, “This is depressing. I want my life to be celebrated when I die.”
At the bar later that day, as the men he used to work with toasted him, Matt and Ray again had a conversation.
“I want there to be party when I go,” Ray had said. “I want people to miss me, sure. But I also want them to be glad they’d known me and to celebrate it. I don’t think I could stand it if it was a morose affair.”
“My parents and my tailor will be the only ones to miss me!” Matt had joked.
“That’s B S and you know it!” Ray had replied. “You’ll find a woman that will make that heart of yours melt and then you’ll find the fountain of youth and you won’t ever get old and you’ll live forever.”
“Unlikely seeing as though I plan on never letting a woman have the opportunity to rip my heart out and stomp all over it with her five hundred dollar stilettos. I am a confirmed bachelor…mark my words.”
Ray had laughed…a knowing laugh…like he didn’t believe a word Matt had said. And obviously, he’d been right. Matt met Janie just a month later.
As Matt watched Ella and Christopher play in the pool, the long-ago conversation reverberated in his head. Ray didn’t want people mourning him. He wanted his family and friends to celebrate his life.
Finding Mr. and Mrs. Urain, the caretakers who lived over the garage year-round and took care of the house and the family when they were in residence, Matt discussed with them his idea for a party the following evening; music and dancing and lots of great food, with decorations and entertainment. He asked them if they could arrange it on such short notice.
“For you Mr. Matt?” Mrs. Urain had said. “We can do anything for you and Miss Janie.”
*****
With her brow wrinkled and her lips pursed, Shelby sat on a chaise under an umbrella on the beach. For the past school year, her fourth year of medical school, she’d been working as in intern at a hospital in Newark, New Jersey. Now that she’d taken her finals and had completed several months of round the clock Emergency Department bedlam, it was time to move on to the next phase of her career. Having had to wait two weeks after finals to see whether or not she’d passed all her classes had been painful enough, but now Shelby was anxious about where she would be accepted for her residency. Applying all over the eastern United States, she hoped a hospital close to New York would accept her. For the last four years the city had been home and she’d grown to love it and desperately wanted to stay. That, however, was no longer up to her.