“I don’t get it. A piece of paper? What the hell is this?”
“My insurance policy. I’ll ask for it when the time comes.” A devilish smile lit up Aspen’s face, as if she’d solved the ultimate puzzle, the ultimate game.
“Fine, okay.” Porter stuffed the paper into his pocket as Rebecca closed her eyes and sighed.
“How will you reach us?” I asked Aspen. “I mean, when you need it?”
“I’ll come here.”
Porter and I shared a glance; we both knew his time in this apartment was limited. Then he said, “Wait, I have an idea. Do you have Brin’s purse?”
“Yes, just a moment.” Aspen unzipped the case, retrieving the tattered purse. The purse that contained all my secrets.
“Here,” she said, handing the bag to Porter.
He dug through it and pulled out the phone. “Take this,” he said, placing it in her hand. “My phone number is already in it. You can call me, text me, whatever. But this way you’ll be able to reach me.”
Aspen glanced at me. “And I can check on Brinley?”
“Sure,” he said. “Of course.”
“Wait,” I said with a start, glancing back and forth between Aspen and Rebecca. “You can’t go back there. Lehi, he’ll . . . he’ll make your lives miserable.”
Aspen shook her head and smiled weakly. “We’ll be just fine.”
I wasn’t convinced. My sudden fear of losing Aspen surprised me. Over the past three years, I’d relied on her, yes. At different times I’d resented her, feared her, and dismissed her. But faced with losing her, I felt as if a part of me were dying, as if one of my limbs were being removed from my body. Aspen had been my compass, my north star. She gave me boundaries, then pushed me when I didn’t stay true to them. And she believed in my goodness. She believed in me.
“B-but,” I stammered. “If you left, if you left the compound . . .”
Aspen shook her head. “No, Brinley. This life is not for me.”
“You don’t know that, you haven’t—”
“I belong there,” she insisted. “It’s what I believe. It’s where I belong.”
“But I—” I choked on my words, sadness and grief filling me from head to toe. “If I’m out here and you’re in there, then I’ll be dead to you.”
Aspen walked to me and placed a kiss on my forehead. “You’re my sister,” she whispered. “You’ll never be dead to me. Never.”
“Promise?” I asked, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Yes.”
Aspen wrapped her arms around me, careful not to hurt me. But I didn’t care. I pulled her close, pulled her tight as the tears continued to spill from my eyes. She kissed the top of my head and said good-bye.
“We have to get back. I still need to deal with Lehi.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, hoping once more that she’d change her mind.
She brushed me off, though, as I knew she would. Aspen was strong, determined, and independent. There was nothing I could say to force her to leave her faith. Despite the influence of the Cluff household, Aspen knew her place in the world. And that was to be a part of the chosen. To live in the compound and to serve Heavenly Father.
And I had to accept that.
“Brinley, I—” Rebecca said meekly. “I can never . . . apologize enough for what I did.”
“You didn’t know,” I told her. “You didn’t know what they were capable of. I understand. And eventually . . . eventually I’ll forgive.”
She nodded, her face twisting as tears fell. “Thank you.”
Porter walked my sister wives to the door, thanked them for bringing me to him, and at Aspen’s insistence, promised to remain at the apartment, no matter his urge for revenge.
“Let’s get you to bed,” he said, helping me off the couch and walking me to his bedroom. Carefully, he stripped me of my dress and long underwear as I sat on the edge of his bed.
I glanced around the room, astonished at how tidy it was. “You cleaned?”
“No big deal.” He shrugged. “Just trying to clean up my act.”
“I see,” I said, smiling for the first time in what felt like an eternity.
“You won’t be needing these anymore.”
He tossed my clothes into the wastebasket. The heavy dress draped over the side of the can, toppling it to the floor. I stared at the can, lying on its side, knowing that I would no longer be weighed down by a garment of any kind. I would stand tall.
Porter dressed me in a soft cotton T-shirt and a pair of plaid boxer shorts. My body, despite the pain that I was still in, was enveloped in the peace these simple clothes provided. I stood in front of his mirror, stroking the bare skin of my arms as I studied my body. Purple bruises were forming on my legs. Bandages covered the gash on my eyebrow, and my hands that were cut by the shattered glass. But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered.
Porter cleared his throat, taking my braid in his hands. “May I?”
I nodded, and Porter released my braid. His fingers weaved through the loosened strands, freeing my hair from its bonded state. Unimaginable relief swept through my body, my brain, my heart.
No more braids.
No more prophet, domineering husband, or sister wives.
I was free.
Chapter 33
Aspen was proud of herself. Not for what she’d done to protect Brinley. She couldn’t imagine not rising to that occasion. She cared for Brinley, loved her like a sister. It was her duty, her obligation to protect her. No, she was proud of the armor she’d encircled around her when saying good-bye.
She couldn’t let Brinley know that she was terrified.
Inside, Aspen dreaded seeing Lehi’s face when they returned to the compound, hearing his venomous words. And the idea of laying with him to make another child was absolutely incomprehensible. She was proud that she’d placed a mask over her fear, given Brinley hope.
And she was satisfied that Porter would stay true to his word. He’d hold on to his copy of the note. She placed her hands inside the wide pockets of her dress, comforted by stroking the crumpled papers one by one. There were seven copies on her person, two inside her sock drawer, one in Ruthie’s piggy bank, and three inside her mother’s home. Aspen couldn’t be too careful.
Rebecca had said nothing on the drive back to the house. But when they walked inside, Aspen was surprised to find Rebecca trailing behind her.
“I’m going to clean her room,” Aspen said, and Rebecca nodded.
The two women stood in the empty room. Picture frames had fallen from the wall. The quilt on Brinley’s bed showed evidence of the scuffle. It was rumpled crazily, with one pillow lying at the foot of the bed. Broken glass littered the floor at the base of the nightstand, and blood remained dark and sticky on the floor.
Aspen stared down at the blood and her brain flashed with snapshots of memories from earlier that evening. Brinley being slapped, kicked, and brutalized as everyone watched. Aspen had to know, she had to know why Rebecca would turn her back on her sister wife in such a despicable manner.
“Why’d you do it?” she asked, hanging a picture frame back on a nail jutting out from the wall.
“I . . . I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. Just tell me. Stop pretending to be so innocent in all of this.”
Rebecca’s posture hunched and she played with the trinkets on Brinley’s dresser. “I didn’t get to be with Burt. I didn’t get to be with the man I adored, the man I spent twelve years loving. And she was going to be with Porter. She was going to be happy, I could feel it. And it killed me. I was so jealous I could barely breathe.”
“You’re telling me that this was all about envy? All of it?”
“I can’t speak for Leandra, or Lehi, for that matter. I don’t know why they beat her like they did.”
“I do,” Aspen replied, eyeing the trinkets on the dresser. She moved to stand next to Rebecca and touched one by one the small gifts that were handmade by her children. They adore
d Brinley almost as much as she did. They would miss her.
Rebecca glanced at her. “Tell me, please. I’m begging you.”
“Pride,” Aspen said matter-of-factly. “Brinley shattered their pride. They tried to control her, but they couldn’t. Clearly, she was too smart for them.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Rebecca said. “Leandra was so focused on impressing the prophet. She wanted to maintain the Cluff name.”
“Desperately,” Aspen agreed.
Aspen knelt down to retrieve one of the trinkets that had fallen on the floor, a tiny butterfly made out of paper. She remembered the day Ruthie had given it to Brinley. It was the day she’d entered the Cluff family. Aspen had been suspicious and hesitant with Brinley when she first met her. Brinley was a sweet young thing, but she seemed terribly naive and Aspen wasn’t known for her patience. Nevertheless, Lehi had assigned her to mentor Brinley and she had done so. For three years, she’d done her best to guide and care for Brinley as if she were one of her own.
And she’d miss that role. Looking back, it had truly been an honor. One she would cherish in the years to come.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Rebecca reading aloud.
“I can’t go on without you. I’m a pathetic man . . .”
Aspen knew those words; she’d read them several times already. But they shouldn’t have come from Rebecca’s mouth.
“I don’t . . . I don’t understand,” Rebecca said.
Aspen looked to Rebecca and gasped when she saw her holding one of the papers.
Rebecca looked up. “This isn’t . . . it can’t be. No. No, no, no, no, no, no!”
“How did you get that?” Aspen demanded, stalking toward her sister wife in a panic.
“It fell on the floor. You were hanging the picture and it fell out,” Rebecca cried. “This is all my fault. All of it. He’s gone and it’s all my fault. They took him . . .”
“I’m sorry,” Aspen said. What else could she say? It was the truth.
Rebecca’s face turned ghostly white and she sank to her knees, clutching the note to her chest, wailing at the top of her lungs. “I should’ve met him that night. Under our tree. He must have waited and waited for me,” she cried. “None of this would’ve happened. I could have saved him, I could . . . I could . . .”
Aspen wanted to be furious with Rebecca, she wanted to hold on to her anger for dear life. But as she watched her sister wife crumple on the floor, wailing in agony, she couldn’t keep sweet. She couldn’t ignore Rebecca. She had to comfort her.
“How could they do this?” Rebecca peered into Aspen’s eyes, looking for an answer. “How could they be so evil?”
“I don’t have all the answers. But there were over a dozen of these in her wastebasket. There’s no mistaking what they did or how they covered it up.”
“The note they showed me wasn’t real, and I should’ve known. I knew Burt’s handwriting better than anyone.”
“You were grieving. You’d just lost him,” Aspen said, attempting to make sense of the unimaginable.
“No, I lost him months ago, the day Brinley gave me that letter.”
“Letter? There was another letter?”
“Yes. He wanted me to run away with him. He asked me to be his one and only.”
“I had no idea,” Aspen replied, trying to process the new information on Burt and Rebecca’s love story.
“I turned my back on him, Aspen. I turned my back on the one man who loved me. The only one.”
“Why didn’t you go with him?” Aspen asked, curious. She hadn’t gotten to know Rebecca in the way that Brinley had. In fact, she knew very little about Lehi’s eighth wife, but she seemed to be learning more with each passing moment.
“I thought Heavenly Father was testing me.” Rebecca wiped her nose as tears tracked down her cheeks. “I thought my faith, my love for him was being tested. And I wanted to prove it. That I could serve our Lord without question.”
“I see,” Aspen replied, and an ache stirred within her.
She understood Rebecca’s desire to please Heavenly Father, to rise above her own wants and desires to serve the prophet and the community at large. And for the first time, she felt real sympathy for Rebecca. For just a moment she mourned Burt Jameson, the man who was the ultimate victim in Leandra and Lehi’s sick games. The ultimate victim in their quest to be beloved by the prophet, to maintain their standing in the community and to avoid any dissension in their home.
To Lehi and Leandra, appearances were everything. Burt Jameson had muddied the waters of the Cluff family’s pristine reputation and he had to be dealt with.
“I can’t stay here,” Rebecca whispered.
“But you’re—”
“What?”
“You’re pregnant . . . with Lehi’s baby.”
Rebecca’s hands wrapped around the slight curve in her abdomen and she sobbed.
Aspen’s heart was tugged as she watched Rebecca come to the realization that she was trapped. She wrapped her arms around Rebecca, allowing her to sob against her chest. Aspen’s hands created large circles on her sister wife’s back, attempting to soothe, urging her to calm.
“We’ll figure this out. We’ll get you out of here.”
“Really?” Rebecca looked up hopefully, her eyes swollen and red.
“Yes. Both of us. If you can pull yourself together, I have an idea. Can you do that? Lehi is expecting us.”
Aspen waited while Rebecca sucked in several deep breaths to calm herself. Normally her lack of patience would have gotten the best of her, but for this—for this, she needed Rebecca to be at her calmest. She needed her to be cool and collected.
After several minutes, Rebecca wiped her cheeks completely dry, took another cleansing breath, and spoke.
“All right, I’m ready.”
• • •
“Both of you?” Lehi shouted, his arms crossed in front of his broad chest. Leandra stood at his side, glaring at Aspen and Rebecca, but Aspen was undeterred. She wouldn’t surrender those forgeries. Not until she was satisfied with their bargain.
“Yes,” Aspen said, her face made of stone. She wouldn’t let Lehi know how intimidated she was. She couldn’t. Or they’d never succeed.
“That wasn’t our arrangement. I agreed to let Brinley go . . . that’s it. Nothing more.”
“The arrangement has changed,” Aspen said. Her heart pounded madly within her chest. “Now we want more.”
“How dare you,” Leandra snapped.
“Consider the facts,” Aspen said, laying out her argument. “You’ll still have five wives and twenty-two children. It will be a smaller household, less mouths to feed, more room in the home.”
“We don’t want a smaller household,” Leandra shot back.
“What you don’t want is two wives living under your roof who despise you. One of them who knows your secrets, who knows what you’ve done.”
“And you?” Lehi said, glaring at Rebecca. “Why do you want to leave?”
“I need a fresh start, Lehi. Please. Losing Burt, and now Brinley. It’s just too much. I don’t belong here.”
Rebecca stared down at the hardwood, and Aspen knew why. If she looked at Lehi, she wouldn’t be able to hide her rage, then Lehi would know his secret was revealed. And then they’d both be in grave danger.
“But you’re carrying my baby! How am I supposed to request this? The prophet will never agree. Never!”
“We’ll take the blame, Lehi. Tell him whatever you like. I’m sure the two of you can come up with something.” Aspen’s words were snide, meant to pierce, to remind Lehi and Leandra of what they’d done. “But you must have us reassigned. Send us to Texas, send us across the compound. Just tell the prophet that we must be removed from this household.”
“There are wives needed in Texas,” Lehi said slowly.
Aspen knew his wheels were spinning, considering the proposition. She knew she needed to push just a bit harder, to make sure he saw the bene
fits of this decision.
“We’ll be far away. You won’t be reminded of any of this. Of Brinley, of us. Of Burt.”
Lehi inhaled abruptly, closing his eyes as he exhaled. He said nothing, so Aspen continued to plead her case.
“Once we have word that we’re being reassigned,” Aspen said convincingly, “you’ll have the notes, every last one of them. Of that you can be sure.”
“No.” Lehi shook his head. “Rebecca stays. You may go, Aspen. But Rebecca must stay here.”
Aspen was appalled. She threw her head back in disgust, knowing that Lehi was challenging her, asserting his power over her and all of the wives. Well, it wouldn’t work. “No, that’s not what I—”
“I don’t care what you said. I will not request that she be reassigned.” Lehi stepped toward Aspen, his nose almost touching her forehead as he bent down to speak. “You don’t make the decisions in this house. I do. I don’t care what proof you think you have.”
“Then I’ll tell the prophet. I’ll tell everyone, I’ll—”
“Stop,” Rebecca said, placing her hand on Aspen’s arm. “Aspen, no.”
Aspen couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her eyes grew wide as she turned to Rebecca, trying desperately to understand. “What?”
“I’ll stay.” Rebecca raised her eyes to meet Lehi’s gaze. “I deserve this. For what I did to Brinley, I’ll stay. It’s my penance from Heavenly Father. And I accept it.”
“No, Rebecca, don’t—”
“It’s fine,” Rebecca said, squeezing Aspen’s hand as a tear slid slowly down her cheek. “It’s how things are meant to be. You go. Start fresh. Embrace a new family and be free of this, all of this. Even me.”
Aspen paused before asking, “Are you sure?” She wanted to give Rebecca every opportunity to change her mind. She wanted to shake her, to scream in her face, to insist that Rebecca would one day regret this decision.
“I thought I was being tested months ago, but this, this is my test. Right here and now.” Rebecca took a deep breath before continuing, holding back tears as her voice broke. “I need to honor Burt, honor Brinley by staying here . . . staying and accepting my fate.”
Wife Number Seven Page 27