The Walpi answered, “No, we never agreed to such a thing.”
“Yes, that is the way it was. The women are ours.”
The Walpi replied in anger. “We were also at Awatovi. We did our part. Before we give you the women we captured, we will kill them.” Without further discussion, they approached several captives and ended their lives. Then, they decapitated the bodies.
Emma gasped, stunned by the actions of the Walpi.
The Oraibis said, “Why do you stop? We will help you.” They in turn killed a number of women and also severed the heads from their bodies.
Emma cried out, feeling helpless.
But the mutilation continued. The bodies were chopped apart with large knives, blood spilling onto the dirt, turning it into a red mud. A fire was built, and the newly severed limbs placed into it. Then, the men ate.
Emma wretched violently, spewing fluid and chunks of peyote onto the ground.
I'm not in that place anymore.
More vomiting.
I'm not there. Thank God I'm not there.
She fell onto her side and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to make it all disappear, trying to make herself disappear.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The steamer moved steadily along the Mississippi. Nathan watched the waves roll away from the side of the boat. He should return to his bunk soon. His pa would wonder where he’d got to. It was dark but the moon was full, illuminating the water as the vessel moved through the inky fluid.
The sudden commotion on the other side of the boat startled Nathan. He crept along the outer walkway until he could catch a glimpse of several men boarding from a craft tethered to the steamer. His pa was there, talking with an intensity Nathan had never before seen. There were strong gestures and stronger words, dialogue Nathan couldn’t quite hear but which was clear from watching the body language.
This isn’t good.
A thought came to him. Was his pa a smuggler? Liquor? Guns?
Feeling uneasy, Nathan slipped away, determined to help. His young mind raced with possible places on the boat where something could be hidden. He needed to find it, whatever it was. He needed to somehow cover up what was there before his pa got into a load of trouble.
He thought of the common areas, the bridge, the sleeping areas. None seemed a likely place to conceal something. Where did his pa never want him to go?
The back area of the galley.
Nathan scrambled quickly to the location, but the room was empty. Everyone was topside, dealing with the boarding. Were those men the law? Nathan wasn’t sure. He hoped not, but suspected they were.
He went to a small room in the back of the kitchen, used to store food. Canned goods lined the shelves, along with bags of flour, sugar, coffee, beans, pots, pans, and plates. Nathan’s heart pounded as he paused for a moment. Where? He looked down at his feet.
Kneeling, he began to feel around the surface. Near the wall, his hand caught on a protrusion. A little tug proved that the floor was loose. Nathan stood and bent over, pulling with strength and quietness. Even at twelve years old, he was tall and strong. Once he raised the hinged contraption, Nathan stared in shock.
Human faces looked back at him.
Blacks.
His pa smuggled slaves.
* * *
Nathan awoke with a start.
The sky lightened with the first rays of sun. Masito and Na’i slept nearby.
Where was he? Grand Canyon.
But the dream had been so vivid, so clear. He could still smell the damp dirt and feel the cool humidity of the Mississippi. He’d been with his pa again. But the slaves, that had been different. His pa had never smuggled anything.
Nathan went still.
Maybe his pa had done it. Maybe his pa had done a lot of things Nathan hadn’t known about.
Damn. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes. This could change everything. All because of a dream.
He wished Emma was here.
* * *
Emma awoke, still on the ground. She felt awful, as if her head had been smashed with a rock. Sweat coated her body, and she felt hot and grimy as the morning sun beat down on her. Sitting, she squinted and looked around, trying to gain her bearings.
She stood and her legs felt shaky as she made her way to the river’s edge. Kneeling, she scooped water with her hand and drank from it over and over until she no longer felt parched, then splashed the cool liquid onto her face several times. She slumped to sit and stared across the Colorado, dazed. She hardly had the energy to remember what had happened. The images crept back into her mind, slowly at first, then with more speed. The massacre and the death, the fear, the smell of burned flesh. It made her ill all over again. Tears came, and she couldn’t stop them.
She missed Nathan.
“You look like shit,” Diamond said from behind her.
She wiped her face and dug deep for composure, sensing Diamond’s willingness to exploit any weakness she showed. She spared him a glance as he came to stand beside her.
“It takes the life out of you,” he said. “How the hell did you slip away from me?”
“What are you talking about?”
He didn’t answer.
“Where did I go?” she asked in a hoarse voice.
“To the Otherworlds is my guess. Never mind. We’ll just have to try again.”
“Was it real?” As soon as she asked the question, she felt her perspective shift. Deep in this canyon, with a powerful current flowing past, she knew her definition of real was a relative one. She felt dizzy, and worried she might purge again.
“Yes.” The finality of his answer sent a chill through her. “You should get out of the sun.”
She stood and followed him away from the river’s edge, past the campsite they had occupied the previous night, and to a shaded area near the canyon wall. She sat and leaned back against the rock. She closed her eyes and contemplated sleeping again, if only to escape the throbbing of her head.
“I saw people being mutilated,” she said. “Indians. Why would I see that?”
“When I was a young boy, I’d roam the streets of New Orleans because my mama was too drunk to keep track of me. Ghosts would follow me around and try to talk to me. I ran away a lot—some were so desperate and dripped with ugliness.”
Emma watched Diamond and decided some of that ugliness had rubbed off on him.
“I guess you’re like me,” he continued. “Perhaps you draw the filth of the world to you.”
“Maybe we’re supposed to help those people,” she said.
“You’ll find that if you don’t look out for yourself first, everyone will take advantage of you, especially the pathetic spirits who can’t find their way.”
Emma had to believe he was wrong, but her experiences with Maeve and Bethany had shown her otherwise. Apparently, the dead took advantage of the living as much as the living did. She rubbed her temples. It felt as if a wet blanket covered her head, smothering her skills of knowing.
“We‘ll rest here another day. Tomorrow, we’ll keep going down river.” Diamond walked away.
* * *
Emma spent much of the day sleeping on the buckskin the Havasupai gave her. By evening, she felt better.
“Why did you try so hard to find me?” she asked, sitting across the fire from Diamond.
“I thought maybe you were like me.” He smiled, and for a moment he appeared a grotesque distortion of himself—his skin wrinkled, his eyes hollow, his hair replaced by a scabby, reddish wound.
Emma blinked, and the vision was gone. Fear snaked down her spine as she sat completely still. The snapping of the wood in the fire filled the empty space around them, surrounded by the thick darkness just out of reach.
“Do you have a power animal?” he asked.
Emma nodded.
Diamond raised an eyebrow, a clear question that demanded an answer.
“A sparrow,” she said.
“That might explain all the dead sparrows you’ve been seeing. We
’ll visit him now.”
“It’s a she.”
He waved off her correction. “Lie down. Close your eyes, enter a trance, then follow me. No wandering off this time.”
Emma did as he said, but her mind drifted as she tried to relax. Anxious and tense, it impeded her ability to release her bodily state. Diamond began chanting, a low, constant monotone in a language that sounded Indian. After a time, her awareness shifted. She soon stood by the river with Diamond.
“Call your bird,” he instructed.
“Sparrow,” she yelled, glancing around. It was as dark in this place as it was in the other reality.
Sparrow didn’t come.
“Where are we?” she asked.
“This is the place where most spirits walk. It’s a middle ground.”
A large wolf ran up to them and Emma jumped. He sniffed and circled.
Diamond laughed. “Don’t be afraid. You can learn much in this world. Be open to it.”
Her heartbeat continued at a rapid pace. She wondered why Sparrow wouldn’t come to her—
She won’t come here, Wolf said. Emma’s gaze flew to him.
“Why?” she asked.
She doesn’t like…him. Wolf rested his yellow eyes on Diamond.
“Well, it’s not the first time power animals have avoided me. Let’s get on with it.” Diamond gestured to her. “We follow the wolf.”
They moved in the shadows along the river, deeper into the canyon, to places they had yet to travel. When they couldn’t run on the sandy beaches, they simply flew over the water. A strange ambiance permeated the landscape, distorting colors, even in the darkness. The river was black, the shorelines a glowing white, the sky a deep blue, and the canyon walls a vibrant purple. They traveled this way for a long time, but Emma knew there was no time here. And it wasn’t the same here in which she normally existed. This was Grand Canyon but somehow a different Grand Canyon, as if it lived slightly out-of-phase with the other one.
They stopped. A massive rapid surged and roared to their left. Emma watched, wondering if it existed in her world as well. If it did, it would be scary as hell to go through. A presence on the rocky shore caught her attention, standing back in the shadows.
“I’ve brought someone,” Diamond said. “I think you’ll like her.”
Emma strained to see to whom he spoke. Wolf left them to stand beside this creature. Slowly, the being moved forward and Emma sensed the entity was decidedly male. Even as it came closer, she saw nothing but a murky figure.
“You are young and raw.”
The deep voice rattled Emma’s bones, causing her to shift uncomfortably.
“You’ve brought me others,” the creature said, “but she’s by far the best.”
“I’m glad you like her,” Diamond said. “Perhaps we can make our deal now.”
She couldn’t move; it was as if the entity gripped her spirit body in a vice. She shuddered when he reached inside her chest and grasped what had to be her heart. She needed to break free. If she didn’t, she knew she would never leave this place.
“Sparrow, help me,” she whispered.
The tightening in her chest eased and she felt pulled backwards the length of the river they had traveled. With a violent heave she sat upright. Diamond still lay across from her by the fire. She rubbed the skin between her breasts with her right hand, trying to ease the ache that lingered. Frightened, she moved closer to the fire, as if it could somehow dispel the remnant energy of the being.
Diamond stirred and sat up, still groggy.
She tried to quiet her trembling as she looked at him. “What was that?”
“I believe he’s called many things by many people, but the Hopi call him Masau’u.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Nathan and the two Hopi men pushed their horses the previous day along the edge of the canyon. They now stood at what appeared to be a trail leading downward.
“Probably used by animals,” Masito said. “We go?”
Nathan wondered if it would bring them to a point where he could intercept Emma and Diamond. There was no way to be certain. He had the feeling he was behind her, but what if he wasn’t? They’d be wasting their time on access trails. As he ruminated over the next course of action, a glance to the sky revealed a barely rising sun in the east.
“No,” he said. “We keep moving.”
They could see the river from their vantage point, but would they see Emma’s dory, a tiny speck on a dark ribbon winding its way through the earth? If luck was with them they might, but just as easily she could slip through his fingers.
Time was running out.
* * *
Back on the river with Diamond, Emma wondered where Nathan might be. Would he try to look for her? Her heart said yes, but her mind argued that it would be monumentally difficult to pinpoint her location. Was there some way she could help him find her?
She mulled this over as she sat in the front of the boat. Diamond faced away from her, rowing. She was glad for the privacy, however minimal it was. Was there some way to travel among the other worlds and give Nathan a message? And how would she describe her location? The canyon and the river were maddeningly singular, repeating itself in an endless cycle. One place looked like the next. Was it the same with the cycles of time? She felt a lifetime removed from the world she’d known in San Francisco. A pang of regret hit her—she might never make it back to that life, she might never see Aunt Catherine again. What if she didn’t survive this?
More regret over time lost with Nathan. Perhaps they were on a short timeline anyway. Perhaps what her heart wished for never would have come to pass in this life. The thought hollowed her out. When had she come to love Nathan so much? She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment—it simply felt like it had always been.
Once again time became a blur, moments overlapping and blending, knowledge always known and yet a terrible confusion about what all of it meant. But she knew her touchstone was Nathan. What she felt for him was real, unchanging. No matter what the outcome, her feelings for him, for what the two of them together had woven into the world, would remain.
Her mind drifted. She was with Sparrow now, in an interior canyon somewhere in this world, or another. How was she to know? The walls were smooth and flowing, orange and red, surreal and beautiful. It reminded her of the enclosure where she had encountered Loloma the first time, when she’d felt that terrible malevolence, when the sparrows had died in the water.
“What is the evil in this place?” she asked.
Sparrow shifted, her eyes black and clear. When Emma looked into them, she felt bathed in love and curiosity. There is one who has tried to come through to the plane in which you live.
“How long has he tried?”
Hundreds of years. Time is irrelevant, here and from where he comes.
“Why does he want to come?”
I do not know. There are barriers to that which I can see. But there are obstacles to he who attempts to come. That is why he touches the souls of humans. Many he has corrupted.
“Awatovi?”
Sparrow nodded.
“The people who lived here in the canyon—the Anasazi—they fled here to escape from this evil?” Emma asked.
Sparrow nodded again. The peoples from Mexico, called the Aztecs, had come to the people here. But their practices were from the darkness; their practices were fed by fear. The Anasazi fled to find the light again.
“Why did Diamond bring me to him?”
He means to trade your soul for another.
“Who’s?”
His mother’s.
“But he said she's dead.”
She is. But she is trapped in a very low place, very dense. He’s determined to get her out, and he has made a pact with Masau’u to help him. In return, Diamond must bring Masau’u a clean and strong soul. He tried with Lenmana but failed. He killed her too soon. He consumed her flesh in an effort to absorb her spirit, so that he might still make the trade, but it
did not work. He forced the boy to eat so that he might use him as a container as well, but the boy fled and Diamond lost him. You must be careful. Masau’u will use you to cross the boundary into your world. This cannot happen.
“How can I stop it?”
Sparrow paused and turned her head this way and that, quickly as all birds do. Protect yourself. There are many ways. You can bathe in the pool of blue light. You can fill yourself with Love and Light. But of greatest importance is to know your own mind. Every decision must be of the highest value, it must be of the highest good. The more this is done, the stronger you will become.
Emma absorbed Sparrow’s words.
“Can I contact Nathan? Can I tell him how to find me?”
That is not necessary. He will find you five days from now.
She saw the place, a cone-shaped mountain. Emma’s heart leapt. “Thank you.”
You are strong, Sparrow said. But without intention and diligence, he will find a way in.
As she left the presence of the large bird, Emma wondered if Sparrow had meant Diamond or Masau’u. Either way, she was in for a battle. As her awareness came back to the boat and the placid water of the river, glittering from the sunlight playing across its surface, she hoped that she had the skills to keep both the man and the entity away from her soul. She watched Diamond. His back was still to her but he no longer rowed, just sat without moving. Emma sensed that he knew of her excursion to see Sparrow. The lines were drawn.
* * *
All day they stayed on the river. A long stretch was followed by a small rapid then another long stretch of calm water. Clouds blocked the sun, and Emma enjoyed the blessed relief of shade. Peripherally, she noticed the clouds turn from white to a dark gray.
“I think it might rain,” she said to Diamond’s backside.
He didn’t respond.
As if in answer to her prophecy the rain began, a torrential downpour that made Emma gasp. “We should go to shore,” she yelled.
Diamond stopped rowing, and leaned his head down.
Completely soaked, Emma’s irritation began to rise. “Are you asleep?” She was reluctant to nudge him. She didn’t care to touch him.
The Sparrow Page 21