Ethan reached her first, helping her free from the weight. “Elizabeth, where are you hit?”
“Center. Of. My. Chest,” she gasped between breaths.
Callen fell to his knees beside her and helped his brother free her of the vest. “You’re going to be the death of us! Jesus, Lyzee!” He ran his hands across her chest to make sure there wasn’t any blood.
She nodded still unable to breath.
“You vested up! Thank God for that,” Blackhawk said, laying her on her back and staring down into her eyes.
“In the dream,” she whispered. “Granddad told me I was going to be seeing him again if I didn’t.”
It was all she had to say, both men understood.
Julian checked Desdemona for any wounds other than the knife to her throat.
“I’m fine,” she whispered, watching Elizabeth fight for air. “I don’t know how she pulled that off.”
“She double plated the vest,” said Tori Christensen, but still she was impressed that the woman took a bullet that close and didn’t flinch. “Balls of steel,” she said, grinning at her boss. “That was either the bravest or stupidest thing I’ve ever seen done.”
Both men answered for her, “Stupidest.”
“I’m sorry I shot you, Elizabeth.”
Whitefox turned on Desdemona before Elizabeth could answer. “What the hell were you thinking? You actually pulled the trigger?” He was furious. “You could have killed her!”
“She wanted me to shoot her!”
“Jesus Christ, Desdemona! You shot her in the fucking chest, when you could have turned the gun around and killed him. What if that bullet penetrated? Then what?” Callen was filled with fury.
Desdemona felt the rage coming over everything she’d been through. “I could have been killed too!”
Whitefox just stared at her, silently. It spoke volumes.
The meaning of his silence was obvious to everyone watching this all unfold.
“You think that was easy?” she demanded. “I had a large knife pressed to my throat! I get you’re worried about your…girlfriend, lover, bed buddy, or whatever the hell you call her, but she isn't the only one that could have died. I bleed too, Callen. I get that your goal is to save your precious Elizabeth, but as the spider just proved, she’s got bigger balls than anyone and more lives than a fucking cat.”
Whitefox was livid.
Blackhawk was about to intervene, but his wife touched his arm, and when their eyes met, they shared what they both knew. Callen and Desdemona needed this final confrontation to get past everything that happened between them. When it was all out in the open, they’d help him heal.
“You should probably be glad she has more lives than a fucking cat, since she just burned three on you in the last year! No sane person shoots another in the vest. You could have taken him out yourself. I’m sick of her having to wear the blood for everyone.”
“I’m not fucking Elizabeth Blackhawk. I get it! I don’t have the balls to turn a gun on a man behind me and kill him while a knife is at my throat. You’re madly in love with her, and she rises and sets on your world. She told me to fucking shoot her, and who am I to ignore her Majesty the Goddess Elizabeth’s demands!”
“You're crossing the line, Desdemona,” he said back. The only difference was his voice was now controlled.
“She told me to shoot her, and you know what? I’m honest enough to admit I enjoyed every damn second of it. It felt good to shoot the woman that destroyed my life.”
“Destroyed your life? Are you criminally insane? She just saved your damn life.” Maybe she was crazy, look at her father and brother.
“Great! She’ll get a fucking parade, I’m sure.”
Callen was sick to his stomach. “Unbelievable.” Now he turned his back to her. There was nothing more to say at this point. Anything else would just be useless, because as far as Desdemona was concerned, she was the victim. He doubted she’d realize it took two people to collapse what they had. Her bitterness and his love of another woman were equally guilty.
“You ruined me, Callen. I did perfectly fine not knowing what love was, and then you came storming into my life with your back up,” she pointed at the Blackhawks and continued, “and you made me love you. Then you walked away from me for a married woman. Fine, great, wonderful! I wish you both many happy years together, but Karma is a bitch, and honestly, the day she breaks your heart, don’t you dare come crying to me. I’ll enjoy the day you ruin her life, and it’s coming because you're a disaster to women everywhere. Maybe I wasn’t the unlovable one in the relationship after all,” she spit out, viciously. “Chances are it was you that was the problem from the minute you were born.”
Elizabeth struggled to stand up and go to his rescue, but her husband kept her down. Callen needed to get this all out, purge it here so they could go home and heal.
“Yeah, Desdemona. It was all me. I’m very unlovable, but you knew that, didn’t you?” There was no love left in him at all for the woman. Everything she just dumped on him showed there never was love, only lust. Love didn’t twist the knife in hopes of hurting the other person. She knew his past and went in for the kill. The fear that his mother never wanted him because he wasn’t worthy of love, all the women he slept with just to feel, and she used it as a weapon.
“I get it. You're a Blackhawk and that’s all that ever mattered. The three of you are one unified front against the world and everyone in it. Congrats! I hope the sex is that fucking fantastic that you were willing to sell your soul to be part of her collection of sex toys.”
“Enough! Just stop!” he demanded, feeling the need to hurt something or someone.
“What happens when she’s bored with her collection of brothers? You’re the first one to go.”
Elizabeth pulled away from her husband, stepping into the fray when it went too far. “Shut the hell up, Desdemona, or I’ll be putting you in that grave myself,” she snapped. The pain in her chest was hard to deal with, but the pain in her heart for Callen was worse. “You’ve said enough! We get it; you’re hurt and trying to reciprocate. The pity party at Callen’s expense is fucking over.”
“Whatever you wish, your Majesty.”
The look between the two said it all. There was no going back to anything before that moment. The last tenuous ties to anything civil were severed in that moment.
Desdemona started through the swamp, and Julian and Tori followed when Blackhawk motioned for them to follow.
“Callen?” Elizabeth said softly, touching his arm.
He turned around and faced his family. His face was completely blank and he held his composure, but underneath his heart was ripped apart. His greatest fear was just handed to him. One day they’d push him away and he’d be expendable. After all, he wasn’t her husband and he wasn’t worthy of love ever.
“I’m fine, Lyzee. Let’s get you out of here,” he said, picking her up in his arms.
Elizabeth stared over his shoulder into her husband’s eyes, and knew there was going to be backlash. It was brewing. Callen had shut himself down, even to her, and that was a horrible sign.
Now, they just had to wait and pray that the man they both loved wouldn’t push them away. It would be a huge mistake for them all, if he listened to Desdemona’s words.
“I love you, Callen,” she whispered in his ear. “You aren’t my sex toy.” Elizabeth laid her head on his shoulder and gently kissed his neck, trying to offer him love.
He simply nodded, too upset to speak. If he said the words back to Elizabeth, he’d cry and beg her to give him something more permanent. To prove to him that he wasn’t expendable, and to give him a sign that he meant more than what Desdemona Adare just threw out at him. The seeds of doubt were already planted and starting to sprout.
Elizabeth did rise and set on his world, and she was all he ever wanted, but where did he fit? Would she get bored?
The vicious angry words replayed in his mind and added more doubt to the pain
he was feeling. What if he did ruin her life?
If that happened he’d die inside. The two people he loved more than anything in the world were right there, and if he crushed them, he couldn’t go on.
“It’s not true what she said,” Elizabeth whispered.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he replied, pushing the conversation from his mind. Now wasn’t the time or the place, and they all knew it.
Now, they had a mess to clean up in the town.
There were sirens in the distance, and the rest of the Delray family was going to be waiting outside the swamp to find out what the hell had been going on with their brother. Fortunately, Elizabeth heard Vincent Delray’s confession and that was more than sufficient.
The man admitted to killing his sister and her unborn child. Today this one went down in the records as closed.
They found a killer.
And saved a woman’s life.
And now needed to see what their lives were going to hold once they returned home and back to FBI West.
Blackhawk stepped out in time to watch Desdemona hugging her brother and sisters. Her life was moving forward and now it was time for them to follow suit.
“We wrap this up and go home,” he said, putting his hand on his brother’s shoulder in support.
“Hell yeah, Cowboy! This was an ugly one that I am personally glad to be done with, once and for all,” Elizabeth said, as Callen lowered her to her feet. Her chest hurt like a bitch, and she was bleeding for her family. “I say we fly this cuckoo nest and head home.”
Both men agreed, more than willing to follow her.
Elizabeth took her place between them as they walked back to the Escalade, taking their hands in hers, connecting them together.
Let the tech team stare.
Let the world fall apart.
They were off duty for a while now and nothing else mattered, but healing Callen’s heart.
The three did the smartest thing in days.
They got the hell out of Dodge and didn’t look back.
~ Epilogue ~
Yet another assignment was in the bag, and Elizabeth and Ethan Blackhawk were more than happy to be home. After the flight landed at the airport, the first thing they decided on was heading to the house to find their son. At that moment, family came first.
It had been only a week away, but if felt much longer. Time away from family was hell, and now they’d take the rest of the night off and spend some quality reconnecting and regrouping.
Wyler was thrilled to see them and after hearing about Elizabeth’s dream, he insisted on going to his father’s home and grabbing the chest for Ethan. He believed it was a sign from the spirit world and from his dad.
Then there was Callen.
When the plane touched down, he wanted to be alone. Lost deep in thought most of the flight home, Callen was still rattled over the angry barbs Desdemona had spewed in her final parting shot. All they could do was let him go, hoping when he met them at home later, he’d be ready to talk about it and work through it with them.
Desdemona Adare was done with the FBI and in more ways than one. Maybe it was because her father had murdered her mother, or that she as a teenager had sex with her own brother, unknowingly. Her family lay in tatters around her, and she needed to focus on her life now, picking up the pieces. Coming back here meant facing demons that she wasn’t going to be strong enough to carry on her own. Elizabeth knew it was a good thing that she proclaimed her dislike and hate for the three of them. It meant that she could move on, and so could they.
Love didn’t always last forever, and sometimes when it ended, the people around were hit with the shrapnel in the blowback. It was life, and they needed time to heal their wounds, much like Desdemona Adare.
Some wounds were mental and some were physical. A big vicious bruise had formed in the center of her chest from where the bullet hit dead center. There was no doubt in her mind that Desdemona meant every word she said, and enjoyed taking the shot, but she wasn’t going to dwell.
It wasn’t like she was the only person in the world who would like to shoot at her.
She would have to take a number on that one.
Feeding hatred only accomplished one thing. It made it grow, and before long it would swallow everything, including the person who created it. So, for now, Elizabeth was forgiving and releasing it all. Shit happened and Elizabeth hoped that whatever Desdemona Adare sought, she would find it in her life. For now they’d figured she’d never come back. If Desdemona did, she was crazier than her killer brother, Vincent Delray.
Then again, the fruit loop gene had been known to pass from sibling to sibling and father to child, so one never knew.
For now, there were far more important issues to dwell on, and that was Callen. Both Blackhawks were worried about their partner, and when the phone rang, Wyler’s name coming up on their ID, they knew it wasn’t going to be good news. He’d gone to his father’s house earlier, and should have returned by now.
“You both need to get to the burial grounds. Callen’s there and isn't doing well. I tried to talk him into coming home, but he’s getting drunk and won’t listen to me.”
It was all it took for both Blackhawks to grab their son and run for the car.
When one of them ached, they all ached.
When one of them bled, they all bled.
Blood was thicker than water for Ethan, and for his wife it was all about love.
Family came first over exhaustion, suffering and anything else in the world. If you didn’t have family, you were forced to wander life aimlessly and alone. No one new that better than both Elizabeth and Ethan Blackhawk. Now it was time to claim their wounded soul and bring him home.
For the rest of his life and theirs.
Whitefox sat alone on his grandfather’s grave, drinking heavily from the bottle in his hand. In the back of his mind he knew he wasn’t to blame for any of what happened, but Desdemona’s parting words rattled his heart, brain, and soul. When she looked into his eyes and told him he ruined her life and was unlovable, it broke him. Driving a knife into his already battered heart just to watch him bleed, she’d gotten what she wanted.
Only one thing mattered now. Getting shit faced and being with the man he missed desperately.
“I need you, Granddad! You visited Elizabeth in a dream and now I need you to do the same. I need someone right now to tell me if I’m ruining everyone’s life!” he shouted into the burial grounds, almost waiting for an answer, but getting none.
“Please!”
Now, he wanted the man back who always offered him the best advice, and led him when he felt lost. Timothy would tell him what he should do, and tell him the truth.
Granted, he felt nothing towards Desdemona anymore. Not after what she said and done, but he still had that niggling piece of guilt that maybe she was right.
He ruined her life and Elizabeth, his angel, was next.
Right now, he felt like the biggest asshole on the face of the earth. The anger and hate he felt from her over the way it all ended crushed him. Yes, most of it likely had to do with the woman just finding out the truth, but it still stung when she accused him of being the final killing blow to her heart.
He took another long chug from the bottle and stared down at the label. He hated whiskey with a passion, but it was all he could find in granddad’s house. Now Callen was going to drink the entire bottle, puke his brains out and then sleep where ever he landed. Hopefully it wouldn’t be in the middle of the road, but then again, what would it matter?
To whom would it even matter at this point?
“I don’t know what to do, Granddad. I’m crazy in love with Elizabeth, but what if one day she wakes up, telling me I ruined her life or I bore her? I’m just a simple man,” he said again to the wind, and still there was no reply.
Of course there was no answer.
Because he was left behind.
“I don’t want to be expendable anymore. I just wa
nt to have a fucking place to belong!” Now Callen’s tears slid hotly down his face, as the mix of pain and whiskey took effect.
“I ruined Desdemona’s life, and I’m just a disaster. How long until I destroy Elizabeth and Ethan’s lives? Maybe I should just leave. Pack up and find somewhere to be alone. I couldn’t live with myself if one day they told me I ruined everything too.”
Elizabeth and Ethan stood behind the man, sitting in the burial grounds. They’d been listening to the words and pain in his voice. She turned to stare at her husband and nodded. If someone had to fix this, it would be her. This was, after all, her job. Elizabeth had promised Timothy that she would keep them all safe and sometimes it took love to heal what love broke.
Blackhawk took the baby from her arms and kissed her softly on the lips. “Bring him home. I’ll take CJ back there until you fix this.”
She patted his cheek. “I’ll take care of him, Ethan.”
He had no doubt she would.
Whitefox chugged the whiskey and wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his plaid shirt. “I don’t want to hurt her, but I hurt everyone, and then they leave me.”
Elizabeth knelt behind him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. His body physically tightened at her touch. “I won’t leave you, Callen. I love you too much to leave.”
The man said nothing.
“You haven’t ruined our lives, you’ve made them better. Ethan and I love you, Callen. I, really truly, love you.”
He drank again to numb the pain.
“When I met Ethan I fell in love, and when I met you I fell in love too. I don’t see you as my husband’s brother. I see you as Callen Whitefox, and I am madly in love with you. I was the victim of love at first sight too, Cal, and I’m scared. ”
The bottle paused half way to his mouth.
“I’m afraid that you’ll leave me one day, and I can’t make you stay. You could walk away at any second. I could wake up and have to face the realization that I wasn’t enough to make you want to stay.”
Deep Dark Mire (An FBI Romance Thriller ~ book four) Page 58