by G. Bailey
“Mads is gone,” Peyton retorts, sounding numb. “I’m just going to have to accept that. We all are. The sooner we do, the sooner we can move on.”
“No way,” I interject, bristling. “That’s my best friend in there. Peyton, it’s the woman you love. I’m not about to just write her off as a lost cause.”
“You think I’m enjoying this?” Peyton demands, a little defensively. “I know that. But she doesn’t listen to me. She doesn’t listen to any of us.”
“So we need to make her listen,” I reply, determined. “She’s still in there somewhere. I have to believe that.”
“And what exactly do you suggest we do?” Peyton asks, his voice frustrated. “She loved me. I loved her. But she threw it all back in my face like it was nothing. I’ve done everything I can, and it still wasn’t enough.”
“Maybe you have,” I reply at last, choosing my words carefully, “but I haven’t.”
Peyton’s brow furrows. “What are you…?”
“I’ve known Mads since we were kids,” I persist. “I know you love her, and that doesn’t change that, but she has more memories of me. Hell, she’s like a sister.”
Killian straightens up, seeming to pick up on where I’m going with this. “Maybe we just haven’t pushed hard enough. If there’s anything left of Mads in that goddess upstairs, Karma might be the only person who can reach it.” He hesitates. “I’m not saying it’s a guarantee, but…”
“But what do we have to lose?” Peyton finishes for him, sounding far away. He runs a hand through his hair, bouncing his knee for a minute, and then he sighs. “Maybe you’re right. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Nothing that hasn’t already happened,” I throw out, and that seems to make him give me the ghost of a smile. “I can’t promise anything, but I want to talk to her again.”
“Do you want backup?” Killian asks, crossing his arms over his chest.
I think for a moment, chewing the inside of my lip, and then shake my head. “No,” I reply at last. “No, I don’t think so.”
“She’s lashed out at me before,” Peyton reminds me. “Even with the anti-magic cuffs, she’s vicious. Like an animal in a trap.” He gives me a grim look, his green eyes blazing. “She’s dangerous, Karma. Whatever else she might also be now.”
“I know that,” I reply. “But I’m dangerous, too. Besides,” I add after a moment’s thought, “I think it would be better if we don’t all go in, guns blazing. If I can reason with her, put her at ease a little…” I shrug my shoulders. “It’s worth a shot, right?”
Peyton gives me a stiff nod. “I guess you’re right. Just…be careful, sis, okay? If something like this happens to anyone else I love…”
“It won’t.” For once, I actually believe the words coming out of my mouth, my hands balling into fists at my sides. “I swear.”
“Then…good luck,” Peyton says as I stand up from the couch. Killian takes my hand and follows me. “Please bring her back,” my brother calls as we leave the living room. I don’t say anything in response. Now isn’t the time to make promises I can’t keep. Instead, I allow Killian to lead me back to the base of the stairs, taking solace in the warmth of his skin on mine for a little longer before I finally let go of his hand.
“If something happens to me up there…,” I begin.
“I told you,” Killian says in all seriousness, “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Karma.”
I smile tentatively up at him, press a gentle kiss to his lips, and then turn around. It’s time to face the music. Squaring my shoulders, I begin to climb the stairs, feeling like I’m about to undertake the hardest challenge of my life. For all I know, it might be; judging by the feeling in my gut, this could be what tops the prison, the maze, the lava pits…all of it. It somehow feels like there’s more on the line, if that’s even possible.
My feet feel heavy on the steps, my arms hanging limply at my sides as I arrive back on the first floor and make my slow way down the hall. I barely even notice the painting this time, my eyes fixed straight ahead as my feet carry me, seemingly of their own accord, in the direction of the room where we’re keeping Madison. The door is closed and locked tightly, although it looks like someone has hung the key over the knob. It’s likely enchanted, warded against magic, which is fine by me; considering what I’ve seen of Mads’s powers so far, she could probably take me out if she really wanted to.
I realise my hands are shaking as I pull the key off the knob and slide it into the lock, the doorknob issuing an ominous click seconds later. Feeling suddenly both weak and incredibly small, I push the door gently open, almost afraid of what I’m going to find in here after what happened last time. I’m not sure what I’m expecting—for her to jump out at me and hit me over the head with a chair or something, maybe?—so the silence is eerie, almost overpowering, when I step into the room.
Mads is sitting on the ledge by the window, facing away from me. Her hands are still tightly bound with the anti-magic cuffs, and she looks terrible. She’s thin, with marks on her wrists from the restraints. Her snow-white hair is dirty, and her clothes are a mess, and she seems utterly spent. I’m not even sure if she’s awake until I let the door drop closed behind me. The sound seems to startle her, and she turns around, her expression going cold as soon as she sees me.
“Hey, Mads,” I say, holding my hands up to show that I’m not a threat as I take a couple of tentative steps towards her.
“Go away.” Her voice is cold, but it’s lost the angry edge it had the last time I confronted her.
“That’s not going to happen,” I tell her, still moving slowly forward. “I want to talk to you, Mads. One on one. No magic, no fighting, just us.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” she snaps, turning so that she’s facing me. “You mean nothing to me. None of you people do.”
“That’s not true,” I reply. It’s not a denial, but a mere statement of fact. “We mean a lot to you, and I’m not just saying that to gloat.” My mouth twitches in a dry smile. “You mean a lot to us, too, Mads. And that’s why I want to help you.”
“You can’t help me,” she spits back. “No one can.”
“Really?” I ask. “I can’t help you? What about that time your skirt tore back in school? I stole some glue from the art room, and we stuck it back together. Or that time at Roger’s when that asshole kept trying to grope you? Because I seem to recall giving him a black eye.” Mads remains silent, so I keep going. “Or what about that time we fell into a crevasse back in that maze, and I helped you climb out?” I come to a stop right in front of her, slowly lowering to my knees so that we’re on eye level. “I’ve helped you plenty of times, Mads. So have you. Because we’re friends, and that’s what friends do.”
She doesn’t look at me, but there’s a split second when I could swear I see the faintest glimmer of doubt in her eyes. “Go away,” she repeats, her jaw setting.
“Not happening,” I insist. “I was always the stubborn one, right? That’s what you always used to say. You were always the more level-headed one. You’re the kind one. You always knew how to talk me away from the edge when my big mouth got me in trouble.”
“Stop it,” she hisses, another flicker of doubt in her eyes, and I seize on it like it’s my last lifeline.
“Who was it who always helped me with my math homework?” I persist, reaching out and taking her by the shoulders. She flinches at my touch, looking panicked. “Who was it who always told me when I’d picked an ugly outfit or when I had food on my face? Who was it who came through for me every damn time I needed her?”
“Stop!” she yells. “Stop it! Get out! I can’t…”
She’s fighting it, I realise with a surge of hope. She’s feeling something, but she’s fighting it. Looking down, I’m shocked to see green magic drifting out of me in tiny streams across the floor, stretching all the way to her. She doesn’t move as they wrap around her like vines, smothering her body all the way to h
er head, looking like a crown.
“Mads, listen to me,” I say, pulling her closer. “I’m your best friend. I’m Karma, and you’re Mads. And I’m not leaving you behind.”
“Please…” It sounds half like an order and half like begging. The magic in the room seems to get stronger, pushing out of my soul and hers. Connecting us.
I never thought the way back might be the way she was changed. This magic ruined her…but can it fix her memories?
I lean in, resting my forehead against hers and staring into her eyes. There’s uncertainty there…but also the faintest flicker of recognition. “Look at me,” I command. “Look at me and tell me you don’t know who I am. Tell me you don’t know who you are.”
She struggles, trying to push me away, but I hold onto her tightly, not breaking eye contact. Tears leak out of her eyes, her face contorting with frustration and confusion, but I remain steady, boring into her eyes with a look that I hope conveys my desperation. A second passes, and then another, and slowly, I feel her start to still in my arms. I realise she’s trembling, and moments later, a single word slips out of her mouth.
“Karma?”
And the magic disappears with a slam that leaves me dizzy and smiling.
Chapter 12
I feel like the weight of the world has just been lifted off my shoulders, relief washing over me in a sweet wave. I pull Mads into a tight embrace, squeezing her as hard as I can. She returns the gesture, her arms coming up to my back almost wonderingly, like she’s just been woken up from a deep sleep. “Mads,” I say, finally pulling back to look her in the eyes. “Do you…?”
She swallows and nods, her eyes already shining with tears. “I remember…” Her voice trails off, and her eyebrows furrow. “I remember Eenta,” she says slowly, as if she’s wracking her memory. “She…they…did something to me, back at the castle. Oh my god,” she says, her eyes going wide. “The fight—the sword—I… Karma, I’m so…”
“Hey, it’s okay,” I assure her, smoothing some matted white hair out of her face. “You weren’t you.”
“It’s all still a little hazy,” Mads admits, shaking her head slowly, “but I remember you. I remember my job, and your family, and…” She freezes, her whole body stiffening. “Peyton,” she breathes, meeting my eyes frantically. “Peyton, he—we—”
“I know,” I assure her, keeping a hand on her shoulder to steady her. “It’s all right, Mads. He’s fine. They’re all fine.”
“Thank god,” she says, burying her face in her hands. “I said so many horrible things to him. To you. Karma, I’m so sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I insist. “They wiped your memories, Mads. We were starting to think we would never get you back.”
Mads hesitates, staring down at her bound hands like she’s never seen them before in her life. “Not just the memories,” she says in a low, scared voice. “They did something else to me, didn’t they? Magic.”
I bite my lip, unsure what to tell her. “Yes,” I reply at last. “They gave you magic. They actually…” I take a breath. “They made you into one of us. A goddess.”
Mads swallows hard, looking like she’s going to be sick. “Why would they do this to me?”
“They needed a puppet,” I reply, shrugging. “And they needed leverage. To them, you were both. But you’re safe now, Mads. You’re here.”
“But I can’t be a goddess,” she protests, sounding panicked. “I’m not like you, Karma! I’m just a person. There’s nothing special about me. You were always the special one.”
“That’s not true,” I tell her. “You’ve always been special. They’ve just…made you a little more special, that’s all.”
Mads chuckles dryly, leaning back against the windowsill and raking a hand through her hair. “Just so you know, Karma, I didn’t sign up for any of this.”
A relieved burst of laughter bubbles out of me. “There’s that snark,” I say, straightening up. “You’ll be back to your old self in no time.”
“Do you think we can get rid of it?” she asks, looking up at me. “The magic? Can they reverse it?”
I would be lying if I told her it’s not something I’ve wondered since touching the orb. Truth be told, I didn’t sign up for any of this, either. I feel like my body isn’t my own anymore, like I’ve been shaped and reshaped by the higher gods so many times that I’ve completely lost track of who I am and what I want. I can only imagine Mads is feeling the same thing, and a surge of pity wells up in me. Tears spring to my eyes, unbidden, as I look down at my best friend—weak, confused, afraid, nothing more than a pawn in the gods’ eyes. “I don’t know,” I reply at last, my voice breaking, even as I say the words. “To tell the truth, I wasn’t even sure if you would remember me.”
“I didn’t,” Mads confesses. “Not for a long time. I felt like I didn’t know anything, you know? Like nothing was sure, and all I had to go on were the higher gods’ words. They made me think you were the enemy. They brainwashed me.” She begins to tremble, her hands balling into fists. “Those bastards,” she hisses, her blue eyes going icy. “Those fucking bastards.”
“You took the words right out of my mouth,” I agree, giving her a grim smile.
“It feels like it’s coming back to me all at once,” she admits, biting her lip. “A bunch of bits and pieces, but the important stuff, at least…” She meets my eyes. “Thank you, Karma,” she says, sounding like she means every word. “You saved me.”
“You saved yourself,” I reply. “You were the one who remembered. I just gave you a little push. How are you feeling?”
“Hungry,” is Mads’s immediate reply.
It’s enough to make me laugh. “I think we can remedy that. Let’s get you out of this room, yeah?”
“Please,” she says, looking relieved. “I was getting so sick of looking out the window.”
Together, we make our way out of the room, my heart still fluttering with relief. Mads is back. I got her back. She’s traumatized, and her memories still aren’t all there, but she’s back, and she’s safe with us. Gods, I hadn’t realised just how much I missed her. There’s a lot we’ll need to catch up on, but one thing at a time.
I kick myself when the door closes behind me, and I look down to see that her hands are still bound. “Shit, sorry,” I mutter. “I almost forgot. Here, let me see your wrists…”
Mads holds her hands up obligingly, allowing me to begin to work at the mechanisms of the magical cuffs with hands that still aren’t completely steady. I feel dazed, and it takes me a great deal longer than it should have. I can feel Mads watching me as I work, and when I glance up at her, I see that her brows are furrowed as she stares down at my hands. “Tattoos?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. “I didn’t figure you for the type, Karma.”
“Yeah, me neither,” I reply dryly, finally snapping the cuffs off my friend’s wrists and shoving them into my back pocket. “They weren’t exactly my choice.”
“What do you mean?”
I sigh. I was going to have to explain what happened sooner or later, I suppose. “A lot has happened since you…since they changed you,” I confess, a little hesitant to look her in the eyes.
“What’s wrong, Karma?” she asks, all regard for her own situation vanishing in an instant. It’s so selfless, so like her, that I find myself blinking back tears before I even realise it. “What happened?”
“They changed me, too,” I reply in a whisper.
“Xur? Eenta?”
I shake my head. “Neritous. He kidnapped me, brought me to his warehouse.” I look up at her, my voice not entirely steady. “There were others there, other kids. My siblings. And Ruby.”
“That cat shifter’s daughter?”
I nod. “She’s here now, but…she was the only one to make it out.”
“What are you talking about?”
I sigh, running a hand through my red curls. “I’m sorry. I’m not making sense. Neritous threatened her. He needed cannon fodder to test a
gainst Storm’s mother’s magic. He was trying to find a way to give us her powers. He made me do it, and…” I glance down at my hands, the vine tattoos seeming to mock me.
“You got her powers?” Mads seems taken aback.
“That’s not the worst of it,” I breathe, hardly daring to admit to the next part. “He made me attack a city in the U.S. He’s gone completely insane. I didn’t have a choice.”
Mads swallows as she takes this all in. “I’m sorry,” she says weakly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“You’re here for me now,” I reply, “and that’s what matters.” Straightening up and pushing my hair behind my ears, I say, “So do you want to go say hello to the others? To Peyton?”
“Yes,” she replies without missing a beat. “If…you know, if he still wants to see me.”
“Of course he does,” I tell her. “He’s been beside himself ever since they changed you. Let’s not keep him waiting.”
We head down the hallway, Mads leaning on me a little. She reminds me of a small child about to meet new people for the first time. In a sense, I suppose she is. “I’m nervous,” she admits when we reach the top of the stairs.
“Don’t be,” I murmur. “I’m right here with you.”
That seems to reinvigorate her somewhat, and we pick up the pace as we descend to the ground floor. Outside in the yard, I can see the justice twins leaning against the fence, engaged in conversation with Michael. The smell of food wafts in from the kitchen, and I can hear mum explaining to Ruby how to tell when steak is done cooking. Peering into the living room, I see Peyton still on the couch. He might as well be a statue, he’s in the exact same position I left him in. Storm is standing by the bay window, arms crossed as he surveys the outside of the house.
I clear my throat, and that finally gets their attention. Storm turns around and, seeing Mads, bristles defensively. “It’s all right,” I assure him, putting up my hands. “She’s okay now. She’s fine.”