“I would love that, Gordon,” was all I could muster. My thoughts were racing back and forth between positive outcomes of our first meeting after his sabbatical to the most negative that I could possibly imagine. I tried to settle my mind by focusing on his voice as he spoke to me one final time before ending our call.
“I am sorry for how I have behaved, Leila. I just,” he paused, I could hear him breathing through the phone. It seemed like an eternity before he continued, “I just needed time to think. This whole thing, it’s quite a mind-fuck.” I suddenly realized I had been holding my breath, waiting for Gordon to finish his sentence. Letting my air out between pursed lips, slowly so he did not hear, I crafted a response in my head before speaking.
“Gordon, it’s not your fault. You had every right to react the way you did, given the circumstances. Please, let’s just move forward and not look over our shoulders.”
“I will do my best. I do love and worship you, Leila. My Goddess,” Gordon’s voice trailed off into almost a whisper. I smiled at his sentiment, at his obvious dedication. A devotion made evident as my eyes traveled around the cabin of the Jaguar I sat in. I heard him clear his throat on the other end, I was letting my thoughts wander too long, leaving him to ponder my possible response to his words.
“Good night, Gordon, I will talk to you soon,” I paused and waited for him to repeat my salutation.
“Good night, Leila, my Goddess,” Gordon breathed into my ear. I smiled mischievously, unseen to him, but my mind registered the hold I had on him in a hot second. My ear detected a slight click and the call was disconnected. I pulled my phone slowly from my ear and stared at the screen. Shaking my head to clear my mind, I gazed excitedly around the car, stroking the leather on the passenger seat with my hand. Trying to register all the features with one glance, I was overwhelmed by the amount that had been included in the model Gordon had chosen for me. Pressing the unlock button I pulled the handle and exited the vehicle. Moving around the sidewalk in front of my building, I was able to fully admire Gordon’s gift in all its glory.
Sleek black lines highlighted in chrome accents. Dark tint covered the windows, disallowing any prying eyes to see inside. Probably not legal, my downer of a mind intruded.
“Probably doesn’t matter in this bitch,” I said out loud before quickly glancing in both directions to make sure no one was there to witness my moment of quasi lunacy. The bottom was finished with ground effects that matched the same paint as the body, making the car appear lowered, although it wasn’t. The low-profile tires added to the effect. At first glance, the car would appear to be hovering just over the ground. The curves of the car were slight, but the lines were clearly defined. Like the figure of a voluptuous, sexy woman. My mind briefly flashed to Mistress Liliana, her tongue exploring my mouth, fingers touching my…
“Nice ride,” a cheerful voice intruded into my thoughts, piercing through like white light.
I slowly turned my head to observe one of my neighbors, Bennie Franklin. I always snickered at his name, Benjamin Franklin, half tempted to throw a joke or two his way about kites, keys or electricity. He probably would either not get it or be offended at the notion. I decided to let it go. He beamed at me from the entry to the stair well. His jaw was gaping slightly at the sight of my new Jag. Part of me wanted to gloat, but the normal, humble side of me temporarily took over.
“Thanks, Bennie,” I smiled back at him. It suddenly dawned on me that I would not be able to park this car out here for long. I would need to park it in my designated parking space that was currently was occupied by my old car. My mind repeated that thought to me. My old car. I was overjoyed to finally be free of that piece of junk. In the back of my mind something nagged at me, but I chose to ignore it in favor of the elation looking at my new Jaguar XJ brought me.
I watched as Bennie turned and sauntered off in the opposite direction of my car. Thank God. I thought I was going to have to play automobile ballet right then and there to move my new baby into the safety of my protected parking space. It was on the forefront of my mind to do it as soon as humanly possible, get that baby off of the street!! A warning to take heed of, indeed.
It took some effort, but I was able to get the Jag off the street and into her new home. I loved the way the motor purred back at me as I pulled her into the now vacant space I had recently pulled my old hunk-of-junk out of to allow me to bring her into the safety of the garage. I parked my other car on the street, careful not to leave it in a meter-controlled section of the curb, which was unfortunately only feet from my apartment building. Hastily throwing the car into park and pulling the parking break firmly into place, I abandoned it on the street to relish the new-found joy inside Gordon’s gift.
Practically skipping back up the stairs to my apartment, I was whistling with every step. Overjoyed, overwhelmed and overstimulated. Ignoring several neighbors’ crazy stares as I ascended, twirling the key to my Jag on my index finger as I went, I emerged onto my floor, ready to greet my empty apartment instead of dreading it. Smiling, I skipped up to my door and gained entry into my home, crossed the threshold and bolted the door securely behind me. My mind was buzzing and I hardly noticed the pile of mail littering the floor below the slot. I picked it up mindlessly and tossed it carelessly onto the counter in the kitchen, as opposed to the key to my new car. That, I gently lay on the counter, cradling it in both hands as I did so. Laying it reverently in the center of the dish I had placed there intended for keys, change and the like.
I was elated with joy, at the same time, my mind cautioned me to be wary. Always approach with caution! My inner mind was practically blue in the face. All the bells, whistles and everything else that could possible go off, was going off. I was ignoring it. Ignoring it in favor of the absolute bliss I was experiencing in the moment. Two days ago, I was in misery with no end in sight, now, I would be cruising Crenshaw in a Jaguar XJ.
Part of me wondered what he had in mind at the office. What could we possibly do there? Or was it because it was safe there? If I met him there, I would be forced to behave myself for sure, and he knew it. Smart Mr. Roth, smart indeed. Two could play at that game though, I decided to up the ante. I would dress as seductively as possible when I went, trying, of course to make sure he knew what he was missing and leave him wanting me like no man ever desired a woman. I considered even going so far as to not wear any panties.
On the other hand, he could be perfectly innocent and I was plotting his demise for no reason. It dawned on me that I may be losing my mind. I placed a hand on my stomach and shook my head slowly laughing lowly to myself.
“Man, this is gonna be one hell of a ride, little one,” I said to an empty room. Somewhere inside of my mind, I imagined my baby heard my words and smiled. It made me feel better somehow to do that sometimes. Instead of pushing the baby from my thoughts, acknowledging its presence instead. I sighed and lowered my head and went into my dark room without turning on the light. I disrobed and began getting ready to go to bed.
* * *
It would be hours before I fell asleep.
Images of Gordon danced through my mind. Bindings cut into his wrists pulling him from both directions, spreading his arms wide, fed through eye-bolts on the walls on both sides, his chest thrusting forward with the pressure. The spreader bar between his legs was fastened to his ankles and then to the eyebolts on the wall below the ones for his arms. A blindfold was covering his eyes. Wearing only a crisp, white men’s button-down shirt, a few buttons were undone revealing the hair that trailed beneath. Between his teeth, a large, red, round ball-gag was fixed and fastened around his head to prevent it from coming out. The sight was awakening my desire, even though it was only a vision in the forefront of my mind.
Gordon’s muscles strained against his position as I approached him, removed the white shirt with one quick tug sending buttons scattering across the floor. I flogged him repeatedly with a long, golden colored flogger. The leather snapped as it bit into his flesh agai
n and again. He breathed in through strained nostrils and bit into the ball gag to control his breathing. I heard him groan in pleasure each time I found my mark. Leather on flesh. As I observed his skin welting up, I licked my lips as I witnessed the sight of my artistry on his flesh. I walked around him in a circle, laughing lowly as I did so, the sound turning into a low purr as I make my way around him.
Clearly Gordon was deriving great pleasure from his position. His eyes rolled so far back into his head that only the whites of his eyes showed. I reached out with my free hand and pinched his hard nipples alternately to add to his pleasure-pain threshold. He groaned louder behind the gag and his eyelashes flicked up and down quickly a few times before lowering completely. I smiled. I loved that his flesh was mine, rendered unto me, to do what I saw fit. There is no feeling in the world greater than that.
Finally, I drifted into a deeper sleep that I could enjoy. A sleep without any images…without any pictures…but I could still feel the rush of how it felt to look upon his face when I struck him with my flogger, as he groaned in pleasure.
-13-
Birds chirping incessantly outside my bedroom window excavated me from my restful slumber. I had finally managed to fall asleep what seemed like a few minutes ago and now my fine feathered friends perched on the overhead powerlines that made their way from building to building, were acting as a natural alarm clock. Wake up! It’s time to face another day! I wished I could snooze them and get just five more minutes of rest.
I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling. Over the last several weeks, I had become accustomed to waiting until the waves of nausea had subsided before I dared rise from the comfort of my bed. That morning was a little more tolerable, less nausea but no less irritated at the fact that I was rudely awakened by some uninvited guests outside my window.
Carefully, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and rested there for a few seconds before planting my feet on the floor and rising slowly. I placed my hand on the headboard to steady myself in case the dizziness I had been experiencing more and more frequently decided to manifest itself. Feeling lucky, no nausea, no dizziness, I picked my way to the restroom across the room. Splashing some cool water onto my face I spared myself a glance in the mirror before opening the door to where the toilet greeted me for my morning release.
Once I successfully emptied my bladder, I ventured into the living area of my apartment. I crossed the room to the kitchen and started to prepare the coffee pot for its morning ritual. In the back of my mind, I knew I reminded myself again that I should be avoiding so much caffeine, but dismissed the thought quickly. I was exhausted and needed the boost of energy the hot beverage would provide. When the doctor told me to, I would consider it, until then I would continue to enjoy my morning routine.
The aroma made its way to my nostrils as the coffee pot came to life. Churning and bubbling sounds reached my ears. I watched the coffee spill into the carafe, anticipating the moment when there would be enough to fill my mug. As I waited, my eyes fell upon the keys that were still lying on my counter. The jaguar figure on the face of the key caught the light from the angle I was looking at it from, glowing with unknown power. I could not wait to get behind the wheel and test that power out for real. My friends at the Red Velvet Room would surely admire my new wheels .
A smile found its way to my lips, they would indeed. I turned back toward the coffee maker and pulled the carafe out causing the process to suddenly pause, one single drop of coffee fell onto the warming plate, causing a tendril of steam to rise from its surface accompanied by an audible hissing noise. I ignored it and poured the life-giving substance into my mug. I returned the carafe to its home, added some hazelnut creamer from the refrigerator, and made my way to the couch to enjoy my cup of java.
As I sat alone in the middle of my apartment, silent except for the distant murmur of Mr. Coffee, I sipped my beverage and let my thoughts wander to the upcoming masquerade. I was elated to finally be returning to my domain. My kingdom where I was in complete control and no one ever dared question my authority, not as long as Master Jason and Mistress Liliana were around anyway. It occurred to me that I would be attending solo as Gordon was out of town and Matthew was MIA. I had no one to accompany me, but that would not deter me. I needed to get back to my roots where I belonged and held all the power. For the time being, all thoughts of the mess I was in would be dismissed and I would enjoy my time at the top of the food chain .
Eventually I would have to answer for the protruding belly that was beginning to become more obvious, seemingly as each day went by. I had never been pregnant before, but I was sure that I should not even be showing yet. I told myself it was all in my mind but occasionally I would catch someone’s gaze drifting down to it, lingering there and then returning to mine with a look of curiosity behind their stare. Like they knew but did not say anything for fear that they were wrong. No one says anything, of course, but it will be more difficult to ignore as time moves forward.
My hand found the remote control for the television and pressed the button to turn it on. The screen flickered and slowly came to life. I would need to replace it and its obsolete technology soon. Perhaps a nice flat-screen television. I had noticed the prices were finally coming down and I could probably swing a smaller one to replace the old-school, tube style one I currently had. Why not? I was replacing other things in my life: my car, my job, my submissive. That last thought brought a painful sensation to the center of my chest. Where my heart would be if I had not let it wither and die.
I sighed out loud to the empty room as I flipped through the channels, periodically taking small sips from my mug. There was never anything good on early Saturday morning. Finally, I settled on the Discovery Channel. A group of individuals were testing out things that you see on television or in the movies to determine if what is presented is even feasible. I liked that show. I dropped the remote control onto the couch and leaned back, settling in to the overstuffed cushions.
After several hours of watching television and relaxing, I returned to my room and retrieved my cell phone. The light was flashing on the front to indicate I had received another communication. Part of me hoped it would be from Matthew, although I sadly knew it wouldn’t be. I pressed the screen and the phone came to life. There were two messages from Mistress Liliana. Clicking on her name, the messages appeared before me. She was simply expressing her gratitude for my going with her the day before. The second message was reminding me what time the masquerade started. 9:00 PM. Be there or be square! She had added that last part in attempt to interject some humor. I smiled at my cell phone before hitting the button to reply.
Assuring her I would be there, I returned her message and started scrolling through the other messages I had received lately. My eyes locked on to Matthew’s name and I pressed the screen. I read the last message he had sent me numerous times. My heart breaking slowly with each word. Memories of his perfect form kneeling before me flooded my mind and I lowered my head. I fought back the tears that threatened. Suddenly, my phone started vibrating as it announced that I was receiving a call from an “unknown” number. Adrenaline coursed through my veins as my finger hovered over the button to accept or decline the call. With great hesitation, as I never took calls from unknown numbers, I pressed the button and slowly lifted the cell phone to my ear.
I sat silently, waiting for whoever it was to announce who was calling. I could hear someone breathing on the other end, obviously debating whether or not to say anything. Finally, after an eternity of waiting, the caller spoke.
“Goddess?” My heart leapt into my throat at the sound of Matthew’s voice. I swallowed several times before I was able to actually reply.
“Matthew! What’s going on? I got your messages. I am so happy you decided to call,” I stopped speaking suddenly in hopes that he would shed some light on the barrage of questions I had spewed forth .
“My Goddess, I know it must pain you not to know where I am but, I must lay low for
some time. Some Police Investigators have been snooping around my place. I live in fear of what I have done and am not sure I am ready to answer for it, yet,” Matthew stopped speaking and I heard him sigh loudly. Detective Mills and Larsen! I had not heard from him since the night Gordon was hospitalized and had partially hoped they had faded away. I was wrong.
“Oh, Matthew, I am sorry. I should have warned you about that. They came to the hospital while I was there with Gordon. I guess I hoped that they realized they were chasing a ghost and would have left you in peace,” I waited patiently for Matthew to reply. After quite some time, he managed to speak.
“Did HE press charges against me? That is the only reason I could come up with that they would continue to investigate,” Matthew asked me quite pointedly. I searched my mind for any trace of a conversation with Gordon about that. I could not recall him telling me he was going to press charges, but it made sense. I was quite upset by the thought. How could he do that without telling me? My mind screamed its protest .
“Matthew, I assure you, I have no idea what that is about. I will find out however, you can count on that!” I was disappointed with Gordon for not informing me he was planning on going after Matthew for his actions. Why couldn’t he just understand why Matthew would do something like that? I was his Goddess first, he was just desperate, jealous even. But to not say a word? That was crossing the line. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew it made sense, but my emotions were overwhelming me. Part of me wanted to hang up and call Gordon immediately, but I knew Matthew was on borrowed time so I resolved to stay on the line as long as he could.
Leila: Goddess The Second Coming Page 10