by Misti Murphy
“Okay, he’s a great guy.” She smiles. “My brother probably is a catch.”
“I’m sure he is.” I lift my glass. “And I’m sure he could be a great boyfriend for the right girl. That’s me of course.”
“Look, I think you could be good for him. You’d definitely help him loosen up, but—”
“Sam and I would be good together.” I lift my glass. “You think I’m right.”
“I think you’re crazy.” She chuckles.
“Maybe. But that’s not the point. I know what I want and that’s Sam.” It’s not Casper Freaking Morgan who kisses like a demi god, probably a stormy one related to Neptune, but spends the rest of his time yelling at me. “It’s just he doesn’t want me. He thinks I’m too young and immature.”
“If it helps I don’t think his reasoning is based on you,” she says. “Sam’s become a little obsessed about his age these last few years. I don’t know. Maybe our mother’s constant haranguing about being healthy has him feeling his own mortality more than he should be.”
“You’re saying he might come around?”
“Possibly.” She folds one corner of the linen napkin on the table and rubs her fingers along the crease again and again. “Or maybe not. Sometimes things aren’t meant to work out the way we plan.”
“Well, of course that’s fine for you.” I drain my glass and refill it. Better remember not to drink this one so fast. “Your plan goes out the window and you end up in the middle of a beef and hot sauce sandwich. I can’t even get one man to look at me, let alone two.”
“That wasn’t the point and you know it.” Summer shakes her head as though she can’t understand how we’re friends. “Look at yourself. You’re beautiful, and fun, and you’re always exactly the person you want to be. Anyone who can’t see how awesome you are is an idiot.”
“Did you just call your brother an idiot?” I giggle. I’m pretty sure the wine is going straight to my head.
She purses her lips, her eyes full of humor. “Maybe.”
I smile. Some days I still don’t know how she and I ended up being friends. Although I’m pretty sure I showed up in her classroom with the cupcakes Dylan had dropped off for her one day and then kept coming around until she realized she was stuck with me. I’m just glad we are friends.
Perhaps I should use the same technique on Sam. Just show up and never leave. “If only it wasn’t my age that gave him the most pause. I could work on almost anything else.”
Chapter Six
CASPER
What the hell was I thinking, getting jealous of another guy like I did two nights ago when Mandy stopped looking at me like I was all she could see? Wanting her to want me for a few precious seconds? Kissing the girl like that?
Soldier snorts as he trots around the ring, twisting and prancing through the elaborate routine that was the last thing Juliette had worked on with him. We’ve done it so many times now it’s practically second nature. The sun hammers down on my bare shoulders and the back of my neck, my T-shirt discarded over one of the railings. Sweat trickles down my temples, and makes Soldier’s gray coat shimmer. His hooves beat at the dust. Thump, tap, and thunder his rhythm right into the ground. Right into my head.
I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m attracted to a girl who wants someone else. I’m sorry. I can’t. I let my stupid fucking dick get the better of me, let her seductive, honeyed mouth captivate me. So sorry. I just can’t. I can’t become involved. I can’t let a slip of a girl fool me into thinking things aren’t the way they are. Some things aren’t worth the risk. I’m sorry, I can’t.
I can practically hear Juliette. Her voice ripples underneath my own thoughts. She’s entrenched in my head. The memories, the conversations we shared simmer just below the surface. Still she wouldn’t have an answer for me. Not about us, and not about how I’m supposed to live with myself now. “Sometimes I don’t understand how you can be so stubborn. You weren’t supposed to be this unhappy.”
And I wasn’t. Not then. Not with her.
“It’s not that exactly.” I shrug my shoulders, hunch deeper into my jacket. It’s cold up here. Beautiful, but frigid. Especially at this time of year. “We were only going to stay for twelve months.”
“What’s another year?” She smiles at me, her dark hair whipping in the wind as she leans over the railing. “It’s an adventure. Come look, I can see Notre Dame from here. Oh, and the Arc de Triomphe.”
Every day with her is an adventure, but I want more. I tread across the observation deck to stand beside her. It’s such a long way down. “Could we get off this metal monster now?”
“Don’t be so scared.” She laughs and it’s musical. I would stand on the very edge, no metal fence to keep us safe, just to make her laugh. “One more year? Twelve months so Soldier and I can show the world what we can do?”
“Twelve months?” I’m going to say yes. She knows it. I know it. It’s only because I want so much more with her that I fight it. “You promise?”
“Cas.” She shakes her head. “You can’t make me promise something like that.”
She’s right. She’s always been a free spirit. My free spirit, and only because she chose me. “Will you ever want to settle down? I want to put a ring on that finger. A roof over your head. A baby in—”
She shakes her head and jumps away from the railing. Her hands are like ice as she touches my face, and I scoop them both up to hold them to my lips so I can warm them with my breath. She smells like horse and pain au chocolate, the fresh chocolate filled croissants we’d eaten on our way to the tower.
“I love you, Casper. So much,” she says. “One day soon, I’m going to give you the answer you want so much.”
Soldier whinnies and rears up. The slack rope in my hand pulls tight, and I almost lose my footing. His eyes roll in his head, and he snorts his breath through his nostrils as his hooves pummel the dirt.
Closing the distance between us, I run my hands over his silky nose and rub his forehead. He mouths at my hand, and for a few seconds we stand there. Both of us breathing hard, both lost in our memories of her. And then Soldier puts his head to my chest and nudges me. A small push that makes me step back.
“I’m sorry.” I grip his halter and stare into his huge brown eyes. This is the closest I ever get to feeling her presence. I can almost feel her touch, see her eyes when we’re like this. Juliette and this horse, they were more one than they were individual members of a team. “I wish it would’ve been me.”
Soldier shoves me again. Whinnies.
“What do you want me to do? What am I supposed to do?”
He extends a foreleg and shakes his head.
“As if you know anything. You’re just a dumb animal,” I snap at him. I unhook the rope from his halter and run my hand down his back and along his flank. Nothing but an animal who is my closest friend and ally. I give him a gentle slap on the rump. “Go on with you, now.”
He swings around to mouth my shoulder, and then trots out of the circle back to where he was grazing before I ran him. Picking my shirt up from the fence, I stretch the gray cotton over my head and down my torso. I can see the kitchen’s sky blue Dutch door from here. Is she still inside, wondering why I turned her down after all that? Feeling like shit because I made a stupid move?
Mandy Pearce is dangerous.
To me. To herself. Quite possibly to anyone around her, and lucky me, I have to work with her for ten more weeks. I have to work out how to keep her at arm’s length without the beautiful, quirky girl taking it personally. I need to block her out for the rest of the summer, and then I’ll take Soldier and move on. But how do I distract her so she doesn’t look at me the way she did after we kissed? And that was just a tease. There was so much more that I wanted to do to her. Still do.
Climbing the fence, I drop over it and stride toward the kitchen. If she’s still here, I’ll just have to deal with it while we prepare dinner. But I hope she’s gone home. I need the time to deci
de what to do.
***
I slip through the door of the wine room and stand just inside while I scope the place out for a blonde girl with a loud mouth. By the time dinner at the ranch was finished I’d worked out the best way to deal with my problem was not avoiding her, but helping her land this guy she’s obsessed with. And then Claire had mentioned that Mandy and Summer had asked her to join them for a drink but she was too tired to go. And I’d figured there was no better time than the present to hash out this plan I’d formulated in my head.
I smile when I catch sight of her, a half empty glass of white in one hand while she sways to what I can only assume is elevator music. Oh yeah, my crazy apprentice is dancing amid tables of wine snobs and having a ball.
“Summer, come dance with me?” She curls her fingers in a come here gesture.
I tread closer while her friend shakes her head and bites her lip to keep from laughing. This is the friend who’s also the sister of that jackass, Sam. Does she know that her brother is the reason Mandy is clearly drunk so early in the evening?
“Cas?” Mandy screeches, waving frantically at me. “What are you doing here? Do you like wine? Will you dance with me?”
“Sure.” I navigate between tables to reach her, while shooting a glance down my nose at Summer, who frowns as though she has no idea why I would be unimpressed by her laidback approach to Mandy’s behavior. Reaching my drunk apprentice, I slide a hand around her waist, something I told myself mere hours ago I wouldn’t do again. It’s only because she looks like she could use a hand to steady her that I touch her at all. But hey, I’m not complaining. Once my fingers find the small of her back, I press her closer. Instinctually. Protectively. Maybe just because part of me wants to be this close to another human being. To her while she sways to the music. If only for a minute before I turn her focus to another man. “How about one dance and then you let me take you home?”
“Okay.” She curls her fingers in the open collar of my shirt and nuzzles my neck. I’m pretty sure she also sniffs me, but again I’m not about to complain. This is only a few stolen moments, like this afternoon was one stolen kiss. It’s enough to get by on when I’m on my own.
Who knows how long the song lasts. A few seconds, a couple minutes. Long enough for my skin to feel like a live wire, and my chest to get so tight it burns. When the music ends I abruptly step back, but I don’t let go of her. She blinks slowly up at me, still swaying a little. It reminds me of how she looked earlier in the kitchen before I kissed her. I hadn’t planned on doing that, but I’d wanted to. And now? I force a cough to clear my throat. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yes.” She nods.
“Good,” I tell her, moving us closer to Summer so that we can collect Mandy’s purse and phone. “Because I think you’re starting to frighten the winos, and they don’t scare easily.”
“Are you planning on kissing me again?” She asks, and it’s loud enough that Summer stares at me.
“What?” I snap at Summer, ignoring Mandy’s question, because no, I am not going to kiss her again, and it would be for the best if she didn’t think about it at all. And if I didn’t think about it either. “It’s not like she’s dating your brother. The guy wouldn’t know what to do with a woman like Mandy.”
“Probably not.” Summer smiles. “Do you?”
“Yes.” I have a fairly good idea of what Mandy Pearce probably needs. The first part of it starts with a C and ends with a K. The second part is a guy who not only knows how to keep her big mouth full, along with the rest of her tight holes, but can show her that she’s necessary. But that isn’t me. And it isn’t my stupid fucking cock either.
“She hasn’t had dinner.” Summer gathers her bag. “She had a bite of cupcake, but the wine hit her hard.”
“How much did she have?”
She chews her lip. “Four on my count. I tried to persuade her to order food. She’s a cheap date.”
“You didn’t try hard enough,” I grumble. Seeing her this upset over some loser grinds my gears. Seeing her this upset, possibly over my actions, makes me want to lash out. “I need her in the kitchen first thing in the morning. I need her sober.”
“Don’t worry about him.” Mandy laughs at me. “He’s always so serious. He kisses like the future depends on it, though. I swear to God, he makes—”
Summer clamps her hand over Mandy’s mouth while she retorts, “Have you tried to convince her to do something other than what she wants? Because it isn’t exactly easy.”
Mandy drags her hand off her face. “Cas yells a lot. It’s sexy. Are you always so bossy?”
“Close to it,” I agree, gruffly. I’ve worked so hard to be brusque and abrasive that I’ve gotten it down to an art form. It normally ensures people stay the hell out of my way, and now one little girl finds it attractive? I have to work twice as hard to keep her away from me, have to push her into the arms of a guy who probably isn’t the best man for her, but at least is who she wants.
“In the bedroom?” She lets go of my shirt, and mimics me as well as she can with her empty belly and skinful of wine. “I’m Cas, and I like to make women cry when they’re in bed with me. Down on your knees, little girl, and take it like a—”
This time I clamp my hand over her mouth. My heart’s pounding so hard, my pulse racing at the words that came out of her mouth. She’s so close to the truth, and she doesn’t even know it. She’s poking fun, and my whole world ended because of a very similar situation. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Okay,” Summer agrees, and leads the way out of the wine shop.
Mandy pulls my hand from her face and laughs. “I’m Casper. Look, I’m on a horse.”
As soon as we hit the landing that leads to the street, I scoop her up, toss her over my shoulder, and push past Summer to the stairs. She trails behind us as I shove through the door and onto the street.
Mandy squirms and pushes at my back. “I’ve always imagined being tossed over some randy guy’s shoulder. And you don’t even have to pretend you’re a caveman.”
“Goodbye, Summer.” I wave over my shoulder at her as I traipse down the street.
“Do you need help?” she calls after us.
“Nope. But you should tell your brother that he isn’t going to have to worry about Mandy Pearce anymore. She has a new dream man.”
“What?” Summer yells.
“What?” Mandy stills over my shoulder. “Did you mean that?”
I don’t answer her immediately. I wait until we’ve turned a corner and we’re out of sight of Summer. Then I slide her down my chest. Part of me wishes I meant it. Especially when she’s staring at me with those huge, unguarded eyes that hold no secrets. That part wishes I could take her to bed, but it’s also the part of me that has no say at all. Her hair is silky between my fingers, and then against my palm as I push it back behind her ear and clear my throat. “How about we grab some dinner and then we’ll talk?”
“Okay.” She smiles. “What do you want to eat?”
We end up with Mexican takeout that we eat on a seat in the park near the lake. Tacos, quesadillas, and guacamole and corn chips. We open the containers between us and share. Chewing on a mouthful of tortilla sandwiched chicken, she grins, but it’s light-hearted. “I’ve been thinking, and I don’t believe for one second you think you’re my dream man.”
“That’s good.” I rest my arm along the back of the park bench. “What brought you to that conclusion?”
“Your mouth.”
“My mouth?”
“Maybe it takes one to know one.” She shrugs, contemplating the food in her hand. “We’re similar, you and I. In the two weeks I’ve worked with you, I don’t believe you’ve held back your opinion once.”
“It’s not in my nature,” I agree. “Pussy footing around issues is a waste of time as far as I’m concerned. But mostly I don’t give a fuck what others think of me.”
“It’s not in my personality either. So I’m pretty sure we b
oth know that despite you kissing me this afternoon we don’t even like each other, right?”
“Eh, you’re not so bad.” I grin. “For an almost useless bit of fluff. You’re growing on me.”
“And you’re not terrible, right at the moment, either. But not enough for me to want to kiss you again without really good cause.”
“Great,” I say, leaning toward her. I can practically taste her mouth. It would be easy to say to hell with it and kiss her, but beginning something I have no intention of continuing would be unwise. “Because I am going to help you land that man you want.”
“What?” She blinks and brings her gaze to mine. “Why would you do that? Sam doesn’t even like me.”
Because you’ll be out of my hair and I won’t have to worry about the fact that my dick hardens every time I cop an eyeful of your ass. “He does. He just doesn’t know it.”
“Do you really believe that? He was pretty adamant about the age difference between us, which probably means he thinks I look like a kid and not a woman. He probably isn’t attracted to me at all. I have nothing to work with.” She wiggles where she sits and clasps her hands together in her lap.
“I think he couldn’t manage to keep his eyes off you that night at Mayhem. And even if he is behaving like he believes the ageist bullshit he’s told you, he won’t be able to keep it up forever. No doubt he’s already fantasizing about the things he wants to do with you.”
“Really, he’s masturbated over me? That’s so…” She bites her lip with a little intake of breath.
Christ. I need to pull the conversation back to safer ground. “It means he’s already thinking about you naked. Now we need to make it impossible for him not to act by making him jealous.”
“And how are we going to do that?” She cocks her head and studies me in an owlish manner.
“We’re going to make him think you’re getting fucked elsewhere.”
“You?” she asks on a sharp intake of breath.
“Yep.” I nod, dropping my fingers to the ends of some of that silken hair.
“And me?” She jabs her finger right between her tits. “Fucking?”