Hot Georgia Rein

by Martha Sweeney

  “Mama isn’t feeling good,” Cece says. “Uncle Drew is going to hang out with you while Aunt Cece makes her better, okay honey?”

  My body shakes and I can’t tell if it’s because I’m that cold or that upset.

  “What happened?” Cece asks as she removes my clothes.

  “He’s…he’s gone,” I mumble, barely lifting my arms to assist with the removal of my shirt.

  “Where did he go?” Cece checks.

  My head shakes. “He disappeared,” I inform. “He just…disappeared.”

  “Did you get to tell him anything?” Cece inquires.

  “No,” I admit as another round of sobs errupt.

  “You didn’t catch up to him?” she pries.

  “No,” I say, continuing to ball.

  Cece says something, but I’m unable to hear her.

  “I told him,” I ramble.

  “Told him what?” she checks.

  “I told him that he’s his son,” I inform, feeling a fresh new rush of guilt take over my body.

  “I thought you didn’t catch up to him,” Cece states.

  “I didn’t,” I reply. “I shouted after him…I don’t know if he heard it before the door slammed shut.”

  “And, he just walked away?” Cece searches. “He didn’t come back in?”

  My head shakes. “He never stopped walking…I never stopped chasing,” I explain. “He was almost out of the stairwell…I said that he’s your son.”

  “And…he didn’t say anything…didn’t do anything?” she double checks.

  “No,” I howl, lowering my face into my hands. “No.”

  “Get in,” Cece directs as she guides me to something. “We need to warm you up.”

  I nod, not caring how I feel.

  “Mama,” I hear, coming from behind the bathroom door.

  My heart shatters even more than I thought it ever could.

  “Mama,” he repeats as his little hands banging on the door.

  “Mama just needs a few minutes,” Cece states as I rock myself in the warm water. “Uncle Drew will play with you until she’s done, okay honey?”

  “Dada,” Henry says. “Wanna see Dada.”

  My lungs stop taking in oxygen after hearing his request. It isn’t until a sharp sting is felt across my face that I realize that I stopped breathing. I suck in a large gulp, preferring that pain over the pain of my broken heart.

  “I’m not going to let you fall apart,” Cece commands, tugging my chin so I look at her. “I need you…your son needs you. You have to come to grips with what just happened and decide.”

  “Decide?” I question, confused by her words.

  “Are you going to just let Henry run away to never find out the truth…or are you going to run after him…tell him everything and then let him decide what’s best for him once he knows the truth?” Cece asks sternly.

  “I don’t know,” I cry.

  “Well, you’re the only one who has the power,” Cece claims.

  “I don’t have any power,” I state. “I don’t know where he is.”

  “If that man is pissed, he’s heading back home,” Cece states. “You know where to find him. So, are you going to explain and hope he understands, or keep avoiding him and everyone else along with some of the hard decisions you had to make that got you to this point?”

  “I…I don’t know,” I reply honestly, still feeling completely defeated.

  “Well, you’re going to need to know,” Cece declares. “You’ve got twenty minutes. Then, you’ve got to pull yourself together and face this…face your past and face your present…or else you won’t have the future you want.”

  I nod, despite feeling completely helpless. I don’t know if I can come back from this. I don’t know if I can chase after Henry. I don’t think I could handle another rejection.

  “You owe it to Henry… you one it to your son,” Cece states sternly. She leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

  I stare blankly across the tub, dazed by everything that’s happened. Tears fall rapidly from my eyes as recent events flash before me. Then, anger begins to surface within me. I’m mad at myself. This is my fault. I could have made decisions that would have made things differently for me, for Henry, and for our son. I need to stop hiding. I need to explain everything to Henry. My son deserves better. He deserves to have his father in his life even if that doesn’t include us as a family.

  28 Henry

  “Fuck this,” I huff under my breath as my feet move quickly along the pavement. I barely notice the people around me, moving like a rushing river through the streets as the burning fire in my chest consumes me. My heart breaks more than I ever thought possible.

  How could Ivy tell me we’d be together when she’s already got a family? How could she hurt me like that? I know I’ve been a dick about shit in the past, but she could have been honest with me. We used to be able to talk about everything—okay, Ivy used to tell me everything. Why didn’t she tell me she was in a relationship and had a son? I knew he was her kid the second I laid my eyes on him. I could see the love in her eyes. I just couldn’t see how she’d been lying to me since she came back.

  Ivy looked scared as if she had seen a ghost when her eyes found me. Was she afraid that I’d finally found out the truth? Why the hell hadn’t Grady warned me? Has she been lying to her family as well?

  I take out my phone and call the most recent number.

  “Hey, man,” Grady greets. “Are you two….”

  “What the fuck, man!” I shout.

  “What?” Grady asks.

  “Don’t, what me,” I command.

  “Huh?” Grady replies.

  “How could you not fucking tell me?” I bark.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” Grady returns.

  “Ivy’s with someone…and they have a kid!” I shout. “How could you not tell me all of this?”

  “Yes…Ivy has a kid,” Grady confirms.

  “What the fuck?” I huff as rage burns through my skin.

  “It wasn’t my place to say anything,” Grady claims.

  “You’re my friend,” I remind heatedly.

  “She’s my sister,” Grady counters.

  “You still should have fucking told me,” I push.

  “Do you care if she has a kid?” Grady asks oddly.

  “The kid didn’t bother me,” I inform. “It was that fucker sitting next to her, touching her as if they’re the perfect little family…that should have been my family.”

  “You are a family,” Grady states.

  “Bullshit,” I retort.

  Grady pauses for a few seconds as I try to collect myself. “Ivy’s not in a relationship with anyone but you,” he claims.

  I snort. “She and I aren’t in a relationship.”

  “I thought you were,” Grady states.

  “Well, that’s changed considering she’s got a kid with another man and is with that fucker,” I declare.

  “Why?” Grady returns angrily. “Just because she has a fucking kid? My nephew is fucking awesome and if you….”

  “Yes,” I interrupt. “Why the fuck haven't you, her, or your parents told me she had a kid?”

  “Because, it was Ivy’s secret to share with you,” Grady claims.

  “It changes everything,” I say. “She’s happy with that fucker I saw her with and the kid. Oh, and Cece didn’t look ill at all to have gone to the hospital. So, I’m guessing that was another fucking lie.”

  “Cece was in the hospital,” Grady returns. “But, she was there because of my nephew.”

  “What are you talking about?” I check.

  “He’s the reason why Ivy left suddenly,” Grady claims. “He had a fever and Cece freaked out while she was babysitting him. She doesn’t have kids of her own and he’s never been sick before.”

  “So, why didn’t his father take him?” I press.

  Grady chuckles. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

  “When I get ba
ck home, you’re gonna get your face punched in if I ever see you,” I declare. “Consider yourself fired too!”

  “Who do you think is his father?” Grady searches.

  “That tall fucker,” I huff with irritation. “The one with dirty blond hair who had his shoes off and looked really comfortable on the couch with Ivy and the kid.”

  Grady laughs and my blood boils more. “You’re a fucking idiot,” he repeats.

  “Stop calling me that,” I direct.

  “That was most likely Drew with Ivy,” Grady says. “He and Ivy are definitely not dating.”

  “How do you know?” I quip. “They look pretty cozy on the fucking couch.”

  “Because,” Grady chuckles. “He’s gay.”

  “Bullshit!” I reply.

  “He’s the one that I briefly met a few times when up visiting and who Ivy wants to officially introduce me to for a possible date, you stupid fuck,” Grady says.

  “He’s not gay,” I argue.

  “How did you deduce that fact?” Grady asks. “I only know one man that Ivy lets see her son and that’s Drew. No other guys.”

  “Why? Because she’s whoring around?” I jab.

  “No, because she doesn’t want him getting confused with who his real father is, you fuck-twad,” Grady replies.

  “Who the fuck is his father then?” I press.

  “You!” Grady returns.

  My feet stop moving and my shoulders keep getting bumped by people who are trying to pass by me. “Bullshit!”

  “Do the math,” Grady instructs. “Other than when Ivy came back for Julianna’s funeral…when was the last time you two fucked?”

  I shift to the edge of the road, propping myself up against a parked car. “Stop fucking with me,” I direct.

  “I’m not,” Grady insists. “Why do you think Ivy stopped coming home aside from the fact that she couldn’t watch you marry Julianna?”

  “That would…” I stutter. “That would make him what?”

  “Two and a half,” Grady states. “Did you even get a look at him? You didn’t see how he fucking looks like you?”

  My heart lodges in my throat. “Why didn’t she tell me?”

  “You were about to marry another woman,” Grady reminds. “She was almost six months pregnant when you did marry.”

  “I wouldn’t have if she told me,” I claim.

  “She didn’t want to stay for many reasons,” Grady says. “You know that. And, you weren’t ready to leave.”

  I nod as if he can see me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Like I said, it was Ivy’s secret to tell,” Grady returns. “I understand why you’d be mad, but understand why she did it.”

  “He called that guy Dada,” I choke out.

  Grady chuckles. “He’s never called Drew that. He only says it when he’s looking at pictures of you,” he shares.

  “He knows who I am?” I ask, choking back the lump in my throat.

  “Yep,” Grady confirms. “Ivy shows him photos of you every day.”

  “Why didn’t she tell me when she came back?” I gulp.

  “Well,” Grady muses. “From what it sounded like with what happened between the two of you each day, you two were too busy with certain things that didn’t really require talking. She wanted to, but I’m sure she was scared as hell to tell you.”

  I let out a heavy breath as I try to process everything. I scratch the back of my head, hoping it’ll clear the fuzziness from my brain as well as rid the water from the rain.

  “You okay, man?” Grady inquires.

  “No,” I admit.

  “What are you going to do?” he asks.

  “What do you mean?” I search.

  “Are you going to go back and talk to her…meet your son?” Grady pries.

  My gaze lifts up and I suddenly realize that I don’t know where the hell I am. “Fuck,” I sigh.

  “What?” he asks.

  “I just stormed out of there and walked,” I state. “I have no fucking clue where I am.” I check the time on my phone and realize that it’s been at least a half hour since I left Ivy’s apartment building.

  “So, what are you going to do?” Grady asks.

  29 Ivy

  “Cece!” I shout frantically from my bedroom. “Cece!”

  “What?” she asks, appearing suddenly in the doorway.

  “Can you help me pack bags for us?” I request as I throw clothes into a suitcase that’s on my bed.

  “Why?” she inquires.

  “Because,” I return. “I know that Henry needs to hear what I have to say. He needs to hear the truth, and…he needs to meet his son before he makes any decisions.”

  “You’re going after him?” she checks excitedly.

  I look up and offer a nervous smile. “Yes…should I not? Should I give him some time? I mean….”

  “No,” Cece interrupts. “I mean, yes, you should go. No, don’t give him time. He doesn’t know the truth and he needs to hear it.”

  I nod and look back down at my suitcase. “I need toiletries…I think.”

  “I’ll get him packed,” Cece states, heading out of my room.

  “Thanks!” I shout after her.

  Ten minutes later, I’m rushing to the front door with my bag in hand. I grab my son’s stroller, knowing that I’ll be able to move more quickly through the airport with him strapped in.

  “If you forgot anything, just let me know and I can mail it,” Cece offers.

  “Momma never got rid of anything in my room,” I inform. “Plus, if I need anything, I’ll just buy it. I don’t know how long I’ll be staying there. I might just come back if….”

  “Do you want one of us to come with you?” Drew asks.

  “No,” I reply, getting Henry into his stroller.

  He whines a little, preferring to walk instead of being locked down.

  “Henry, honey,” I say, kneeling in front of him. “Mama needs you to cooperate.”

  “No,” he replies.

  “Do you want to see Dada?” I ask, choking on my last word.

  Henry’s eyes light up. “Dada? Go see Dada.”

  “Yes,” I return. “We’re going to see him. But, we can’t go unless you get in the stroller for Mama.”

  “Dada,” Henry cheers, sitting down willingly.

  I hook his straps together, securing him in place so he can’t dart off on me.

  “Call me the second you land,” Cece instructs.

  I smile and nod, knowing she got her new phone yesterday.

  “Should one of us stay here just in case he comes back?” Drew searches.

  “Knowing Henry, he’s already out of New York,” I share.

  “Do you think you might see him at the airport?” Drew asks excitedly.

  I giggle. “I doubt it,” I return. “Henry never left Blackburn other than by car and that was only to stay inside Georgia.”

  “Well, he showed up here, didn’t he?” Cece reminds.

  I pause to think about how Henry came after me. He came—he came for me.

  “He might have,” I agree, realizing that Henry has changed more than I could have ever guessed.

  “Did you book a ticket yet?” Drew checks.

  “Go see Dada,” Henry cheers. His little feet bounce in the air repeatedly.

  “No,” I sigh. “I just started packing. I’ll get one while in the cab. That’s what I did when coming back here.”

  “Well, get your ass out of here,” Cece commands playfully. “We’ll hold down the fort. You call or text as soon as you know anything, okay…especially once we know you’ve landed in Atlanta.”

  “Sure,” I agree. “Thank you both for everything.”

  “Hey, we’re your family,” Drew reminds.

  “I know,” I say, hugging them.

  “Let me know what flight just so I can track ya,” Cece directs.

  “Will do,” I confirm.

  “Go see Dada,” Henry repeats.

  Cece
and Drew help me get to the elevator and down to the street to get a cab. Our doorman waves one down while Cece holds a large umbrella over the four of us. Henry keeps chanting Dada which makes my heart start to hope a little more that everything will be alright.

  Once in the cab, I give the driver instructions and then search for the next flight to Atlanta. Henry bounces his feet in anticipation as he holds onto his blankie.

  “Go see Dada,” Henry states.

  “That’s right, honey,” I confirm. My gaze shifts to the driver. “Can you hurry?”

  “It’s New York,” he reminds.

  “I know,” I huff. “I just really need to get to the airport.”

  “Dada,” Henry says.

  “I know, baby,” I reply. “We’re going to see Dada.”

  “If you hop out here, you could take the subway to the Jamaica Station,” the driver informs. “It’ll be the quickest.”

  “I didn’t know the system went that way,” I reply.

  “Most from the upper sides don’t know,” he returns with a shrug. “No offense.”

  “None taken,” I return.

  “The only traffic will be bodies, but at least you’d be moving,” he comments. “Most people give way to a woman with a stroller. If not, just plow through them.”

  I nod, getting the courage to face the subway. I used it for years when I was first up here for college but stopped when I was about six months pregnant with Henry. I just didn’t feel safe, unless I was with a friend or two. I felt comfortable walking most streets where I lived and used cabs the rest of the time.

  “You got this,” the driver encourages, handing me the last bag from the trunk. “Just follow the instructions,” he says, pointing to the piece of paper he hands me. “You’ll be good and you’ll make it for your flight.”

  “Thank you,” I say, handing him the fare.

  He smiles and nods, taking it before returning to his vehicle.

  “You ready, Henry?” I ask, looking down at him.

  He smiles through his tired eyes. It’s coming on nap time. I’m hoping he’ll hold off sleeping until we’re on the plane.

  With Henry’s little bag strapped to the back of the stroller and my large duffle bag wrapped over one shoulder, we start down the stairs for the station. A woman with a young boy offers to carry one side of the stroller all the way down to the bottom of the stairs with my me. We exchange smiles as I mouth thank you amongst the noise and bodies around us once we reach the bottom.