by Tate, Sennah
Mile after mile of the road rushed past and I felt my apprehensions and nerves start to ebb. I was a hell of a racer. Anyone who had ever seen me could attest to that. There was no way that someone like Rex would be able to best me. I just needed to keep my head on straight.
A small smile crept onto my face as I remembered Tanner’s reaction to my driving.
I cursed myself instantly. I didn’t need to be thinking about him right now. That was a onetime thing and there was no use dwelling on it. If he knew… If he knew that I’d kept everything about myself a secret, I knew that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me. How could he? What we shared was amazing and under different circumstances, it would have been a life-changing experience. I knew that it could go no further though. Leading two lives was difficult enough without complicating matters with romantic entanglements. As much as I would love to pursue things with the sexy stranger, there was just no room in my life for Tanner Marx. I already had one too many men in my life and I had no idea how to get myself out of that arrangement. I really didn’t need to heap more onto my plate.
I navigated my way down the winding roads that led to the secluded race site. Rolling hills that led to the coastline kept the straightaway shielded from too many prying eyes. The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon when the mass of gleaming vehicles and bustling fans and racers came into my view.
Chapter 13
The first day or so that Skye was staying with me was great. We got to know a little about each other and we were able to make jokes and the sibling bond seemed easy and instant. I took a day to enroll her in school — no easy feat once they looked at her lengthy disciplinary record — and then all the problems started.
Meanwhile, I was still trying to track down any trace of Aubrey. I didn’t have a last name, but I knew enough about the car that she drove and I knew enough about her racing to be able to conduct a few preliminary searches. The problem was that she was a ghost. She had no government documents, no property or assets in her name, no school records… There was only one possibility: she had to be living two lives.
Suddenly, all of the mystery and intrigue made sense. If she was trying to hide her real identity from me, that would explain why she got so nervous when she found out about my profession.
I wondered what a girl like Aubrey — or whoever she really was -- would need to hide her identity. Maybe her parents were even worse than she let on. Maybe the racing she was involved in was even less legal than I originally thought. I knew that all forms of street racing were frowned upon in the state of California, but there were certain circuits that stayed out of the way and drew in decent crowds from out of state that law enforcement turned a blind eye to. The increased revenue to locally owned businesses and the taxes from hotels and their ilk more than made up for the possible fines and infractions they could charge racers and organizers with and leaving it alone had the added benefit of not requiring any paperwork.
Of course, those were just some of the circuits. Others were notoriously dangerous and frequently busted. I didn’t think that Aubrey was the type to be involved with that kind of racing though. She seemed to be in it for the love of the sport, not the rush of doing something illegal.
I found a listing for a big race on Saturday with a racer named Aubrey Red. I thought that had to be her, so I jotted down the location and time and made a mental note to be free to check it out. I didn’t know why I needed to see her again so badly. Especially now that I knew she’d hidden her entire life from me. I thought that we had some kind of deeper connection, but now I realized that I didn’t know anything about her. Well, I knew one thing about her: I wanted her. I couldn’t deny her allure. I didn’t know why I was so desperate to have her. I thought that sleeping with her would get her out of my system, but the brief taste I’d had only made me hunger for her even more.
My phone rang and I glanced at the caller ID before rolling my eyes. It was Skye’s school again. I’d gotten a call about her every day since she started. At the rate she was going she was going to get kicked out in no time. Maybe that’s what she was after. If she got kicked out of school I didn’t know what I would do. I couldn’t support a rebellious eighteen year old drop-out, sister or no. I wanted to do what was best for her and I really thought that was making sure she got a good education. I knew that my mother wasn’t the best at parenting and probably never gave much thought to Skye’s grades or behavior, but if she wanted to do anything with her life at all, she needed some discipline.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Mr. Marx?”
“Yes?”
“This is Assistant Principal Grover; I believe we spoke the other day about Skye’s behavior in Chemistry class?”
She tried to make the lab explode. I knew she wasn’t stupid, because she actually had all of the right chemicals to do the job. She wasn’t trying to destroy any property; she knew exactly the right amounts of everything to make just a big enough boom to get out of class. It was infuriating to know that she had that kind of advanced knowledge and was using her powers for evil.
“Yes, we did,” I answered with a sigh. I didn’t even want to know what she’d done this time. I could already feel a dull throbbing start behind my eyeballs and I pinched the bridge of my nose to try to stop it before it went any further.
“I was just calling to make sure that Skye wasn’t in school today. You never called to have her absence excused.”
There it was, a full-blown migraine exploded behind my eyes. I sighed.
“I dropped her off at school this morning.”
“I see. Well, she never made it to homeroom or any of her other classes. This will be an unexcused absence, Mr. Marx. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that Skye’s enrollment in our school is in jeopardy. I understand that you’re going through a difficult adjustment period right now, but I have to think about what is best for the student body as a whole and I feel that Skye’s behavior could have a trickle-down effect on some of our other students.”
“I understand completely, Mr. Grover. When Skye comes home I’ll make sure I have a discussion with her. Thank you for calling,” I managed to get the sentences out even though my stomach churned with anger and my head throbbed with frustration. My eyes felt like they were going to burst from my skull with all of the pressure built up behind them. I wanted to strangle my little sister right now. I didn’t know how to handle all of this. I had no idea how to be a parent to a teenager when I’d never even had a parent of my own.
How could I make Skye understand that the things she did now would have lasting consequences for her life? How could I make her see how privileged she was to have the opportunity to get an education? I certainly never had that option and I spent my entire like being insecure about it. I wanted to do right by her and give her the best shot that I could, but I needed her cooperation.
I ended the phone call with the Assistant Principal and tried to figure out how I was going to talk to Skye when she got home.
In the meantime, I did some more research on Aubrey. I tried my best to connect her somehow to her real life. She covered her tracks well. My uneasiness with the situation only grew as I delved deeper and deeper into trying to locate her. If she went this far to hide, there had to be a reason. I didn’t know why I wanted to know her story so badly. I didn’t know why I was becoming quickly obsessed with her, but I just couldn’t get her out of my head. I needed more of her and I wasn’t sure that I would ever be satisfied.
I closed the browser that was cluttered with leads to Aubrey’s identity, I wasn’t getting any closer and I really couldn’t handle the added frustration right now. As much as Aubrey occupied my thoughts, I had to focus on the other woman making my life hell.
I sighed and tried to figure out what I was going to say to Skye when she got home.
Of course even in this instance she couldn’t be cooperative. The elevator door dinged as she sauntered into the apartment and flung her bag down on the couch.
I looked up from my desk, still reeling with how to deal with this.
“How was school?” I asked innocently.
She shrugged.
“Fine, I guess.”
“Yeah? How are you liking it? Made any new friends?”
Another shrug.
“A few.”
“Skye, I know this is rough for you, being in a new place, a new school, trying to adjust to everything… I just want you to know that I only want what’s best for you. I never got the chance to finish school. I was homeless at twelve and Tamara didn’t really make my education a priority before that, you know.”
I could tell she wasn’t really engaged in the conversation. I didn’t want to lecture her. I didn’t want to try to punish or admonish her. I just wanted her to understand.
I sighed.
“I just want you to have your best chance. The world is changing and the things that used to be good enough to give you a decent life aren’t good enough anymore. I don’t want to see you struggle.”
She nodded, but didn’t make eye contact as she flipped on the TV. I was starting to get a little more annoyed but I tried to tamp down my temper.
“Assistant Principal Grover called me today,” I finally admitted.
That got her attention. She turned her rainbow-colored head towards me and tried to give me her best innocent look. I wasn’t buying it for a moment.
“Oh? What about?”
She was good, I gave her that much. But I grew up around much more crafty people than Skye.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Skye. I know you haven’t been going to your classes. What have you been doing?”
She shrugged.
“Nothing.”
I had to take a deep breath to steady my thundering pulse. I couldn’t lose my cool with her. If she knew that I was that easy, she would walk all over me.
“Well, just remember the terms of your staying here. You’re an adult and you’re going to make your own choices, but that doesn’t mean I have to provide a roof over your head while you do.”
I couldn’t tell if the look in her eyes was fear or defiance. Maybe a bit of both.
“You don’t have to be such a dick about it, you know.”
I clenched my jaw and resisted the urge to hurl an insult back at her.
“I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. When you said you wanted to stay here, you agreed to going to school. If you don’t hold up your end of the bargain, neither will I.”
“Fine, fine. I get it okay? It was just one day. Chill.”
I decided to drop the matter. I didn’t want this conversation to get any more heated.
“Okay, well I’m getting you a bus pass. I’m not going to take you to school anymore. Maybe if you have to get up early to be there, you’ll respect it a bit more. If I get another call from Mr. Grover or anyone else at that school, you’re out of here, got it?”
“Whatever,” she huffed, standing from the couch. She spiked the remote onto the couch in aggravation and stormed out of the apartment.
My migraine ramped up to eleven. Who knew that being an older brother could be so hard?
I decided to pour myself a stiff drink and sleep the stress away until it was time for Aubrey’s race the next day.
I didn’t even see Skye the next day before I left for the race track; I thought that maybe that was for the best. I didn’t know for sure if she was coming back or not, but I thought that we both needed time to cool off.
My hands shook as I drove. I didn’t know what I would say to Aubrey if I saw her. I didn’t know if she’d even want to see me. Part of me was convinced that she would be pleased to see me. Surely I wasn’t the only one affected by our incredibly hot night together. Surely it wasn’t so easy for her to just up and leave without a second thought. I wanted to believe that I was on her mind as much as she was on mine. I found myself picturing her smile while I made my morning coffee, watching her slender hand grip the gear shift and later those long fingers wrapped around me… It was so easy to lose myself to thoughts of her and the time we spent together.
Was I making a huge mistake going after her? What if it was only meant to be a one-night stand? What if I had her up on a pedestal that she would never be able to live up to again? I’d done that before with different things; I would have such fond memories of something that when I went to revisit it, it could never match up to my lofty expectations. I didn’t want to think that Aubrey would be that way. I wanted to believe that when I saw her again everything would fall back into place. I wanted her to admit to me that she thought about me, too.
I wanted to find out who she really was, why she hid, and more than anything else, how I could be a part of her life, regardless of who she really was.
I realized a little too late that bringing the Jag to a place like this was only going to attract a ton of extra attention to myself. Nevertheless, I was here for a reason and couldn’t let myself be distracted by too much attention. I tried to park out of the way. My vantage point from atop the hill gave me a nice view of the drag strip near the water. Racers were already doing their warm-up runs and qualifying heats. I wondered if Aubrey was really going to be here. If she would be happy to see me, if she was really as good as I thought she was. My stomach filled with a nervous anticipation, but an equal amount of excitement crept in, too.
I tried to picture her face when she saw me. Would she be happy? Surprised? Angry?
There was only one way to find out. I started my trek down the hill, hoping for the best.
Chapter 14
My qualifier went off without a hitch. Not that I expected there to be any complications, but I still couldn’t shake my nerves. It had been a while since my last race and the old jitters were making an appearance. My race with Rex was in the next to last slot for the night, so I had plenty of time to stew over all of the things that could possibly go wrong. It was easy for me to come up with a million and one ways that things could end in disaster. I didn’t even want to think of what would happen if I lost. The couple of times in my past when I lost, I was a completely miserable person to be around for quite a while.
I held myself in too high a regard to not be disappointed when my performance was less than stellar. I knew what I was capable of and when I failed to live up to my own potential I was devastated.
My eyes roved the crowd as the time passed. There were a few familiar faces: other racers, hardcore fans, groupies, etc. It felt like coming home. The night was cool and mild. A soft breeze blew in from the water, bringing the sharp tang of saltwater to my nose. The deafening rumble of engines managed to drown out the sound of crashing waves against the rocks.
I dreaded going back to the east coast. All summer, I tried to come up with a plausible reason to stay in California. I didn’t want to go back to Washington. I didn’t want to suffer through the endless fundraisers. I didn’t even know where Chester and his family spent the majority of their time. I was almost positive that Chester was still in law school, but I didn’t know where. Maybe he would give me the freedom to spend my time where I pleased. I scoffed at that idea; I knew it wasn’t ever going to happen.
Men like Chester and my father only used wives as accessories. They weren’t thought of as being people with individual dreams and aspirations. It certainly didn’t help that women like my mother went along with the perception. I couldn’t help but be angry at myself for letting my thoughts drift back to problems that I didn’t have solutions for. It was one thing to obsess over it if I knew a way out, but at the moment, I hadn’t figured out my exit strategy. I was dependent on my parents at the moment and if I refused to marry Chester, I was sure that they would withhold their financial support. I never liked being beholden to their whims. I didn’t want to rely on them for my way of life, but there had never been a way out. I couldn’t go to school without their consent: I couldn’t secure a loan on my own and with their net worth there was no way of getting financial assistance. I had my trust fund, but I w
as still young enough that they controlled most of the use of those funds.
I was trapped with no way out that I could find. It was only a matter of time until I was molded and forced into the little box they wanted to put me into. If that was to be my fate, then I wanted to enjoy the last bit of freedom I had to its fullest. Race after race went by in a blur. I tried to keep mental notes of the up-and-comers. The races were typically scheduled in order of profile, so the earlier your race the lower on the totem pole you were. A smart racer kept a watchful eye on those below her. I wasn’t the type to be caught off-guard by a no-name. To be fair, I wasn’t the type to be caught off-guard, period.
Rex managed to ruffle my feathers because he took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting the grass roots drive to shame me. I wasn’t expecting the cocky little so-and-so to think he actually had a chance. I certainly hadn’t done my research with him and it showed in my handling of the situation. Aubrey Red was known for being tactful and aloof. Rex managed to shake me of both of those traits with a few tweets. The sooner I had this race behind me, the better.
As my race grew closer, I felt the familiar flutter of butterflies that accompanied the adrenaline spike that preceded every heat. No matter how many times I squashed the anxious nerves, they always managed to pop back up just in time for me to climb behind the wheel.
The ‘Stang was just as anxious to get up and going as I was. It always seemed to me that she knew when a race was coming. She knew she would get to run free and uninhibited. The engine roared to life and I felt every rumble echo through my veins. We breathed in unison. She became an extension of me, my hands molded to her, the pedals were a continuation of my own limbs, and my body thrummed with the excitement that I knew she could feel, too.