by J. H. Croix
As my thoughts circled back to Eli’s question, I shrugged. “I think so, but loving someone when you're in your early twenties and loving someone now are two very different things.”
He nodded and then arched a brow. “How would you know about loving someone now?” he asked with a chuckle.
“Touché, mate. Excellent question.”
Jana again sauntered through my thoughts.
“You seeing anyone?” he asked.
My automatic answer was no. I considered whether to share my date for tomorrow with Jana, yet that didn't mean I was seeing her. So I shook my head and took a gulp of coffee. Our conversation was interrupted by another few blokes coming into the break room.
I made my way out to my car, finally looking forward to a good night’s sleep. I paused to check my phone when it buzzed in my pocket, reminding me I had yet to read a text that came in earlier. Outside of my family and a few friends here, I wasn't much for texting. My mother would send me polite updates on the weather and ask me how I was doing. Friends here would check in to confirm what time I was stopping by and the like. It was fair to say I didn’t expect anything eventful in the form of a text.
I glanced down to see a message from Jana.
43 Castle St.
My apartment is upstairs.
6 o'clock
Simple enough. But then came the picture. This was another angle of the penis cake I’d glimpsed on her phone, this one standing straight up on the table. I laughed so hard, I almost cried. When I finally caught my breath, I glanced around, realizing I was sitting alone in my car laughing my bloody arse off at a picture of a penis cake. I leaned back in my seat, still smiling. How Jana knew I could use more laughter in my life, I didn't know. She was this bright light of bubbly joy…and sexy as hell to boot. Her face appeared in my mind with her dark hair and bright streaks of color, her wide blue eyes, and her slightly lopsided mouth. Her lips were plump and pink, so damn tempting.
I put my car in gear and headed home. It was only after I got home that I realized I'd yet to even reply to Jana’s text. I paused before I went into my apartment and tapped out a reply.
I'll be there. 6 o'clock.
I didn't even know how to reply to the penis cake.
I lived in a townhouse overlooking Puget Sound. It was a nice residential neighborhood with a beautiful view. I'd moved here after Kristen and I broke up. My footsteps echoed as I walked across the hardwood flooring after stepping inside. It was a lovely townhouse. I probably didn't do it justice. The décor was simple. My younger sister had come to visit after I moved. Any and all warm touches were solely her doing. The townhouse had hardwood floors and high ceilings. Beyond the entryway, there was a kitchen to the right through a small archway and then it opened out into the living room. The windows offered a view of Puget Sound in the distance. A love seat and a matching couch of sage green with a large ottoman were in the center of the living room. My sister Sarah had purchased brightly colored throw rugs that were scattered about the room.
A hallway led to three bedrooms. It was completely illogical for me to have a three bedroom townhouse, but I hadn’t been thinking particularly clearly when I moved here. I kicked my shoes off and dropped my keys in a small blown glass bowl on a table just outside the kitchen. The sound echoed in the empty townhouse. I didn't think much about the fact that I lived alone. Yet, just now, the reality of it hit me right in the gut. I glanced around, imagining what it would be like for Jana to be here. I gave myself a shake. I didn't know what the hell I was thinking. I could have dinner with her, and I could have sex with her, but hoping for more was crazy.
Chapter 5
Finn
The following evening, I turned onto Castle Street, scanning the road for Jana's place. It had been an unusually clear day, and the sun was setting, casting soft rays of gold over Seattle. My gaze landed on a bungalow style house. The downstairs had a wide porch. When I saw the stairs on the side of the house, I assumed they led to her place per her text that she lived upstairs. Even the stairs had Jana’s whimsical touch. Each stair had a hand-painted flower in the center of the tread. I knocked on the door, ignoring the tightening of my body.
I had dated here and there, rather frequently actually. Yet, I hadn't seen anyone where I felt this kind of anticipation. In seconds, Jana swung the door open. One look at her and lust hit me like lightning. Her hair was pulled up into a knot with loose tendrils falling around her face. She wore dangly silver earrings that swung when she moved. She wore no make up other than a dash of pink lipstick. Her lips were glossy and so tempting, it was all I could do not to kiss her right then and there.
“Hi Finn! Come in, come in,” she said with a wide smile, gesturing for me to follow her inside.
I entered into one large, expansive room. It was a living room, kitchen, and dining room all in one. The kitchen was on one side with an island that faced the rest of the room. A round wooden table was situated near the island with chairs. The living room had a curved sofa with brightly colored rugs scattered on the hardwood floor. Plants abounded everywhere, making the space feel alive and warm. Seeing bright red ribbons twining around the windows with holiday lights reminded me December was days away.
Jana wore a stretchy black skirt that hugged her lush bottom with black knit thigh-high leggings. Atop that, she wore a loose blouse that swung with her hips as she moved. When she spun back to face me, the hem twirled slightly. The blouse scooped down just above her breasts with a tiny bow. The moment my eyes landed on that tie, I wanted to undo it. Preferably with my teeth. The fabric was slightly sheer. Not sheer enough to see anything, just sheer enough to drive me crazy. A pair of black cowboy boots finished off her ensemble, which suited her perfectly. Bracelets jingled on her wrist as she paused to pet a large gray cat.
“This is Smokey,” she announced. “He's not the friendliest guy.”
Great. An unfriendly cat. Our family cat when I was young had been best known for the scratches he inflicted upon us. I simply nodded. Before I had a chance to say anything else, Smokey leapt from his perch on the back of the couch toward me. In reflex, I caught him in my arms. For a moment, I thought he was going to hiss at me. He stared at me, his dark gray eyes scanning my face and then snuggled right up against my chest and promptly began to purr.
Chapter 6
Jana
I snagged my purse off the counter and spun around to look over at Finn. Smokey was snuggled up against his chest, purring like mad. I bit my lip to keep from laughing, if only because Finn looked flummoxed.
“Well, he likes you. That’s a win,” I finally said.
As if he’d suddenly discovered he’d made a fool of himself, Smokey bolted from Finn’s arms and over to the windowsill. I hadn't realized I’d secretly hoped Finn would be wearing his uniform. I didn't know what that said about me, although I had to admit he looked just as delicious in his faded black jeans, his muscled legs outlined through the worn fabric, and his loose button-down shirt. His shoulders filled it out quite nicely. But then I imagined his shoulders filled out anything quite nicely. His straight dark hair was damp as if he had recently showered, and his blue eyes were bright.
I just loved that he seemed to have a semi-permanent 5 o'clock shadow. I wanted it to rough my skin just about anywhere. I watched as he glanced around my apartment, his eyes eventually making their way back to me. When they landed on me, it felt as if a flame lit the air between us. A prickle ran down my spine, and I almost shivered visibly.
I tried to recall the last time I'd been this attracted to a man. I'd be the first to admit I loved to flirt, and I loved to appreciate men. I hadn't dated much lately, hardly at all since everything went down with my ex-boss. Oh, that wasn’t the only thing that sent my dating life down the tubes. It happened while my mom was dealing with breast cancer. After she lost the battle, I was depressed and broke because I was looking for a job. Dating had been the last thing on my mind. I'd gotten past the grief about my mom, yet I hadn’t quit
e gotten back into the swing of dating. I still enjoyed flirting and appreciated a handsome man as much as the next woman. Whatever that meant.
I found it endlessly amusing that I happened to have an in with an entire team full of sexy guys with the Seattle Stars soccer team. With Zoe married to Ethan, I’d gotten to know his friends as well. Not a single one of those guys who had fan pages and the like did a thing for me. I could dispassionately appreciate them, yet nobody got to me like Finn.
Not since my ex-boss. I tried to recall if I’d been this attracted to my boss. It was hard to say. The illicit flavor of an office affair had turned me on like crazy, but of course I hadn’t known he was married. It was difficult to have a clear recollection of what he meant to me, or how I felt. Pretty much impossible because all of it had been ruined when I learned he’d been married the whole time. It made me slightly sick to think about it after the fact. I felt so bad about the whole mess, I even went to apologize to his wife. They’d since divorced. She'd actually been rather gracious about it and had also told me I wasn't the only affair he had. Not that I thought I'd been special because I hadn't, but it just made me feel even worse for her.
Looking over at Finn, I suddenly blurted out a question. “Are you married?”
Finn’s eyes widened. Ethan had seemed to think Finn wasn’t married, but Ethan also said they weren't close. After a beat, Finn shook his head, appearing puzzled by my question.
“No, certainly not.”
Relief washed through me. “Sorry if that seemed weird.”
His mouth hitched up at the corner, and he arched a brow in question. “It did seem a little strange. Do you usually worry about men you're going to dinner with being married?” he asked.
I took a breath and let it out with a sigh. “Well, no. I never did before, but I accidentally had an affair once. It's been a bit, but it was a disaster, and I felt awful,” I explained.
Finn was standing by the island counter and leaned his elbow on it. “What do you mean you accidentally had an affair?” he asked.
“Oh, it sounds weird, but it was an accident because I didn't know he was married. He neglected to mention that really, really important detail. That's what I mean by accidentally.”
His expression cleared. “Understood. Good to know that's not something you set out to do, I suppose.”
I shook my head rapidly. “Oh no. It was awful, it ruined my reputation and everything.” I waved a hand restlessly. “I'm glad you're not married. Shall we go?” I asked, striding to stand at his side, my cowboy boots echoing on the hardwood floor.
When I got close to him, I could smell him. Oh my God, he was just yummy. He had a crisp scent to him with a hint of rain. Was there anything about him that wasn't just nearly perfect?
I forgot I’d even asked him a question when he nodded.
Oh right, I’d asked him if he was ready to go.
“You never did tell me where we were going,” he commented, the slightest grin curling the corner of his mouth.
My belly did a slow flip, as if on command. “Oh yes, it's a surprise,” I managed, my voice a tad breathy.
He straightened, pushing away from the counter. “How am I supposed to know where to go if it's a surprise?” he asked, the other corner of his mouth curling up.
I wanted to kiss him so, so badly, but I was going to make myself wait. The anticipation was too delicious.
“Come on, let's go,” I said, walking ahead of him.
He turned and followed behind me, catching up to open the door for me. He was quite polite, which didn't surprise me in the least. I led the way down the stairs, wondering if he experienced anything close to my reaction to him. When I reached the bottom of the stairs and glanced back up, my eyes landed conveniently on his cock. It was outlined by his worn jeans. Oh good. Considering that my panties were already wet, I was pleased to see his cock was plenty hard.
I didn't say a thing. I just looked up at him and smiled. We walked along the slate walkway around to the front of the house where I saw that he drove an all black sports car. It suited him quite perfectly. He opened the door for me and waited until I was seated before closing it and rounding the car.
Even his hands turned me on. He had a wrist hooked over the top of the steering wheel. A scar ran along the back of his hand, his fingers were long, strong and slightly battered. I imagined playing soccer had put his body to good use. I wanted to ask him about soccer, but then that would cue off the fact I'd been nosy about him, so I kept quiet.
Once he started the car, he looked at my direction. “Where to luv?”
Oh wow. My low belly clenched and heat radiated outward from my center. He could call me luv all day.
“We're going to a hibachi grill.”
“And where would that be?” he countered with another one of his devastating half grins.
I wanted to keep asking questions, twenty questions wouldn’t be enough. I didn't even care what they were. I just wanted to hear him talk. I recited the address and then proceeded to pepper him with questions.
“So where in Britain did you live?”
“London,” he said succinctly.
“I've never been to London, what's it like?”
One of his shoulders rose and fell in a small shrug. “It’s London. Cities all share something I think. Simply in terms of the energy, the sheer mass of people. London is obviously quite different from Seattle. It's older, more stodgy, if you will. When I first came to the States, that was one of the things I liked about Seattle. It's fresh and young. As cities go, it’s quite different from London in that sense, but there are things I miss about London. Though I must say, the food here is better. Can't say that perhaps for all of the States but definitely here in Seattle.”
“Seattle takes food very seriously. It’s why they call it a foodie city,” I offered.
His low chuckle sent another shiver through me. I rubbed my thighs together, trying to quell the ache of need building between them. That's how delicious it was to just ride in the car with him. I wondered if I was crazy. I didn't really know what I was doing, but I liked Finn. A lot.
***
Noise hummed around us—snippets of conversation, chopping, the rhythmic sound of grilling—while I looked to Finn at my side. Dinner had been a unique form of torture. Sweet hell. I wanted him.
I had chosen for us to eat at a Japanese hibachi grill. While the chef cooked at the grill in front of us, Finn was relaxed and teased me all evening long. I was discovering that once he was out of his uniform, so to speak, he let down his guard. I imagined this was the man he was when he wasn't being all professional. He had thankfully explained the history I knew of him from Ethan. I didn't want to accidentally say something that gave away I’d been nosy about him. We drank sake, and I forced myself to stay halfway sober. I was in bad enough shape as it was.
I was punch drunk on the fumes of my desire for Finn. Our chef offered to create tempura-fried ice cream, nudging me slightly out of my haze.
“Fried ice cream?” I repeated. The chef winked at me and nodded. Of course, I said yes.
I’d never eaten at this place, but I’d heard it was fun. Finn, in fact, had eaten here before. I learned he loved food and was an engaging companion—funny, sly, thoughtful and could easily compete with me for flirting. He was shameless and reminded me of Ethan who’d won Zoe’s heart with his relentless teasing. He regaled me with a few amusing stories from his soccer playing days and seemed rather circumspect about the change in his circumstances.
The set up at the hibachi grill was such that it was impossible to eat alone. We were seated at a wide counter with chairs circling the grill in the center. Another couple joined us, crowding us into the corner slightly when an extra chair was added. Being crowded against Finn was quite fine with me. The closer he was, the better as far as I was concerned. I glanced over at him.
“I was hoping you’d be in uniform,” I said.
He grinned. “Ah, so you were then?” he asked.
I nodded and brushed a loose lock of hair out of my eyes, tucking it behind my ear. “I love your uniform. I can't be the only woman who told you it's a good thing,” I offered.
He grinned again. My belly, which was well trained by his mere existence at this point, executed a flip. Our waitress swung by, serving another two tiny cups of sake. I sipped the sweet liquor.
“Well, luv, I only wear my uniform when I'm working.”
I nudged his knee with mine. “But why?”
He rolled his eyes and shook his head, sipping his sake. “It's technically a rule,” he offered.
“What about the cuffs?” I asked.
His eyes darkened. We’d been flirting like this all night. It was so delicious, it felt almost like sex.
“There are rules about those too.”
“Explain.”
I gave him another nudge with my knee. I couldn't resist any opportunity to touch him, no matter how small.
“It's a simple rule. You can only use your city issued police gear, uniform included, for official purposes,” he explained, each word enunciated.
His sexy British accent sent a hot shiver through me. I twirled a lock of hair around my finger and cocked my head to the side. “So if you had to arrest me…?”