Sierra, wrapped in a dark wool coat, a bright red scarf, and a script tucked under her arm.
Nobody had told him she was his neighbor. It was like a sign from the universe.
CHAPTER SIX
Over dinner Sierra somehow managed to relax despite Ryan’s physical presence only about a foot away. He looked handsome, smelled yummy, and was easy to talk to as well. He was so polite he’d laughed at her lame jokes.
The single glass of wine she’d ordered didn’t hurt either. She was impressed by his intelligence and how deeply he understood the characters. Even in this relatively straightforward romantic comedy he’d delved deeply into Molly, writing up what he thought her backstory might be. Then while they were eating, he questioned Sierra about all things Molly-related.
Her favorite flavor of ice cream? Her favorite color? Who was her best friend in school? Was she a good student? What was her favorite subject? Is she rock and roll or country? Would she slap a man if he was handsy or would she just ignore him? The questions went on and on.
By the time dinner was over, Sierra felt like she knew Molly inside and out. Sometimes she hadn’t known the answer right away but she and Ryan would talk it over and decide. Now there wasn’t a doubt in her mind as to how Molly would react in any situation. She was absolutely more confident about playing this role and she’d only spent a few hours with him.
You were right, Billie and Tyler. This was a good idea.
“I want to thank you,” she said as their plates were being cleared. “Seriously, this has been so helpful. I thought I knew Molly but I had only scratched the surface.”
“You’re very welcome. It’s wonderful to work with someone who wants to go the extra mile with a character. You were doing the work but not all in one session. Instead, you were asking questions piecemeal.”
That was true. With each scene she’d analyze what Molly would do and how she would react, but this was far easier. Understanding her whole character made more sense.
“I have a lot to learn,” Sierra confessed. “And I appreciate you working with me. This was invaluable and something I’ll use going forward.”
Ryan shrugged but smiled. “Everyone works differently. Some actors go Method and have to live as the character twenty-four-seven. Some actors are very instinctual and sitting down like this to figure out every detail would appall them. I think you and I are alike in that we like to see the complete picture in front of us. At least I do…I don’t want to put words in your mouth.”
Sierra didn’t get a chance to reply in the affirmative as the waitress returned to their table.
“Any dessert?”
Ryan and Sierra both shook their heads but the smiling server wasn’t going to give in easily.
“Are you sure? We have a hot chocolate chip cookie that’s baked in a small cast iron skillet and then topped with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge. It’s so good.”
It sounded delicious and if it had been just her and Billie, Sierra would have ordered it in a split second. But she was here with her director and she didn’t want him to think she wasn’t going to be able to fit into her costumes the next day.
It looked like Ryan was waffling back and forth, however. Biting his lip and rubbing his chin, he wanted to say yes. Badly.
“You should order it.”
He didn’t have to be in front of the cameras, after all. He could have ten of them if he wanted to.
“Only if you’ll share it with me.”
If he only knew just how much she wanted to do that. Or better yet, have one of her very own.
“I shouldn’t.”
“A few bites.” His gaze raked her from head to toe, sending tingling warmth to her extremities. “I bet you work out.”
Sierra couldn’t stop the laughter that came spilling out of her mouth. “You’d lose your money. I guess you could say I work out. I started a yoga thing with my sister in the last year. Before that I just worked hard. That will keep you in shape whether it was your goal or not.”
If anything, Billie and Tyler had been trying to put weight on her, not take it off. She was naturally slim and that was just the genetic lottery. Her life had also been filled with stress, a punishing work schedule, and very little money. It wasn’t a recipe for gaining pounds, especially when she barely had time to eat. With their shoestring budget she’d become an expert at buying and preparing nutritious food that didn’t cost an arm and a leg. In other words, she’d cooked a lot of beans.
“Then we’re definitely getting this dessert. We’ll take one, thank you.”
The waitress bustled back into the kitchen and Ryan turned his attention back to Sierra. It was a little disconcerting the way he gave her his total concentration. He could probably make anyone think they were the only person in the room. Maybe it was a trait that directors needed.
“Since we’ve done our work for the evening, why don’t you tell me a little more about yourself? You said you worked hard. What kind of work did you do?”
He wasn’t going to give up asking questions about her life. Not that she was ashamed of her life – she wasn’t. She’d gone through some terrible crap and come out the other side a stronger person. It had been hard accepting help from her sister and Tyler but deep down she’d known it was the only way to get away from her heinous ex-husband.
The story, however, sounded so sad and melodramatic. She didn’t want people to think of her as a victim or that she was trying to get their sympathy. She didn’t want or need that. Therapy had gone a long way to helping her be in a healthy headspace and wallowing in the past hoping for pats on the head from others wasn’t her style.
She didn’t want to lie though, so she decided to tell the truth. Selectively. “I was a waitress. It’s pretty physical work, carrying heavy trays. You’re on your feet the entire time. I always tip well.”
“The image of the struggling actress doing waitress duty is almost an institution,” Ryan mused. “Did you always want to be an actress?”
“No,” she answered honestly. “It never occurred to me until Sam Collins brought it up when I worked as Billie’s assistant on their movie. He heard me running lines with her.”
“Sam has an excellent eye for talent. So if you didn’t want to be an actress when you grew up, what did you want to be?”
It was a funny question as Sierra could barely remember being a child. With an alcoholic mother, she’d felt old by the time she went to school. She’d had a rich fantasy life and it had always consisted of having a happy family and a mother and father who loved her and kissed her goodnight.
I wanted to be loved.
“Maybe that was my problem,” Sierra replied instead. “I didn’t know what I wanted to be.”
Dreams were expensive. They wasted time when a human is trying to simply survive.
His head tilted to the side, as if trying to see inside of her thoughts. “Why do I get the feeling you’re avoiding my questions? You can tell me it’s none of my business, you know.”
Because I am avoiding your questions.
“I don’t like talking about my life,” she confessed. “It wasn’t exactly ‘The Brady Bunch’. It wasn’t even ‘Roseanne’.”
“More like an afterschool special?” he asked softly. “I get it. Not a great childhood.”
“It was bad and then I made a couple of stupid decisions and managed to make things worse.”
So vague.
“I doubt that. You seem like a smart woman.”
He didn’t know the half of it.
“This is hard-won street smarts you’re seeing. But I made some stupid moves earlier in my life. I trusted the wrong people.”
Ryan didn’t reply at once but he did nod as if he understood. He didn’t, though. He just thought he did.
“A man?” he finally asked.
Sierra raised her glass as if in toast. “The oldest story in the book. My man done did me wrong.”
The waitress interrupted by sliding their dessert onto the mi
ddle of the table along with two spoons. Sierra could smell the heavenly sweet aroma of melted chocolate and vanilla. Steam rose from the just baked cookie and her mouth watered despite her full tummy. She had a big sweet tooth and this was ticking every box on her yummy list.
They each took a big bite and Sierra closed her eyes at the pleasure that spread across her taste buds. She had a little bit of the gooey warm cookie and a little bit of the cool vanilla ice cream and it was perfection.
“Damn, that’s good,” Ryan said, wiping at his sticky lips with a paper napkin. “I love chocolate. I could eat it all day.”
“Me too,” Sierra agreed, helping herself to another big bite. Any ideas of propriety or shame had gone out of the window. She was going to eat part of this dessert and opinions be damned. “There is nothing like a warm chocolate chip cookie. It should be a food group all its own.”
“My mom made the best chocolate chip cookies. I asked her what the secret ingredient was and you know what she said?”
“Love,” Sierra replied promptly.
Ryan just laughed. “You’d think that would be it but she said it was a teaspoon of orange peel. To this day, that’s how I make them.”
“You can make cookies?”
“Hell, yes. A man has to have a few tricks up his sleeve when it comes to romancing the ladies. Home baked cookies are usually a hit.” He leaned forward, his blue eyes sparkling. “Women have perfume and lingerie. Some men have displays of manly prowess in sports. But I’m just a big geek so I use cooking. I can make a three-course meal and never break a sweat.”
He didn’t look domesticated. “You’re a gourmet cook? For real?”
He held up his hands in surrender. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said anything about gourmet? I said I could cook. I specialize in comfort foods. I wouldn’t say anything I made was high brow. My favorite thing to eat is cheeseburgers. What’s yours?”
“I love cheeseburgers but I’d have to say my favorite food is spaghetti and meatballs. Can you make that?”
“I absolutely can. Maybe I can make you dinner one night?”
He’d asked casually enough but Sierra was fine-tuned to his every word and expression. It hadn’t been an empty offer. He was serious. Immediately that awkward feeling was back, and he could tell. Her cheeks were warm with embarrassment and she suddenly didn’t know where to look or what to say. He’d taken her off guard.
“Am I making you uncomfortable?” he finally asked, placing his spoon on a small plate. “This isn’t a quid pro quo thing, Sierra. I like you and I’m interested in you, but if you don’t feel the same it’s fine. We’ll still work together and it’s all good. I’d just be lying if I said that I only want to be your director.”
She didn’t want him to think that there was anything wrong with him. This was her issue.
“I–I haven’t dated in awhile.”
That was an understatement the size of the Grand Canyon.
“That man who did you wrong? He’s the reason?”
She nodded, not sure what to say or how much to reveal. “Let’s just say it didn’t end well. It wasn’t a…healthy relationship.”
“Were you with him long?”
Way too long.
“Since high school,” she admitted uncomfortably under his scrutiny. If he knew the truth, would he think less of her? That somehow she’d allowed herself to be beaten down and demoralized to the point where she couldn’t leave an abusive man? The truth was her ex had convinced her that it was all her fault and that she deserved it. “I finally left him almost two years ago.”
“That’s a long time.”
It appeared that Ryan didn’t know what to say either. It was clear she wasn’t telling the whole truth but it didn’t look like he wanted to try and force her to say things she wasn’t ready to reveal. They were both walking on eggshells except she was the only one that knew why.
“I missed a lot,” she said, uncomfortable speaking about this. “I haven’t dated much in my life. I’ve barely been anywhere. I have a list of things that I’d like to do, though.”
That seemed to peak his interest because he was completely ignoring their melting dessert, instead training his gaze on her. “You mean like a bucket list?”
“Sort of, but it’s more a list of things I didn’t get to do. Although I have to say that it’s grown into a list of stuff I just want to do but didn’t necessarily miss. For example, Billie and I went to the top of the Eiffel Tower. That isn’t anything that I missed per se, but it was an item I’d placed on my list when we were working in Paris.”
“That sounds wonderful.” Ryan pursed his lips, pinching at them with his thumb and forefinger. “What else is on that list?”
Sierra laughed at the question. “I’m not stupid, Ryan. There’s no way I’m going to answer that.”
He gave her a charming smile. “C’mon, you can tell me. I won’t laugh or anything.”
“I never thought you would. It’s just that the list is private.”
“You can’t tell me one thing on that list? What the hell is on it? It must be wild.”
He was getting the wrong idea. She wasn’t an adrenaline junkie.
“I don’t want to bungee jump or anything. I just want to have some fun. Have the kind of experiences that most young women take for granted.”
“Like party and drink? Go dancing and flirt with men?”
Lifting a shoulder in a shrug, she took another bite of their dessert. “Not those things specifically but you kind of get the idea.”
“What else?” Ryan pressed, his own spoon forgotten.
He was like a dog with a bone. She needed to close down this conversation.
“I want to go dancing and see plays. I want to go to the beach and just generally enjoy myself. I am not in any way, shape or form looking for a relationship. I don’t want to get serious with anyone. I just want to date casually. I don’t want to fall in love. I just want to meet a lot of people and go out and live my life. So that is what’s on my list.”
“I can do that.”
She didn’t know what he meant.
“Pardon?”
“I can do that, Sierra.”
“You can do what?”
“Be casual. Not be serious. In fact, that’s what I want, too. Isn’t that perfect? We both want the same thing.”
It was not perfect. Not even close. Was he proposing that they date casually?
“I guess we do,” she replied cautiously. “I’m not sure why that’s perfect, though.”
Ryan was smiling now, and he was very handsome when he was happy like this.
“I asked you out on a date, Sierra. You didn’t say no.”
She shoved the cookie away. “I didn’t say yes, either.”
“You said that you hadn’t dated in awhile. You also said that you wanted to meet people and have fun.” His brows rose and he grinned evilly. “I’m fun. Everyone says so.”
“No, they don’t,” Sierra gasped. “They say that you’re mean and you make people cry on set.”
“Only the people that deserve it. So what do you say? How about I cook you dinner one night?”
It was a bad idea on so many levels. He didn’t understand that he was a Harley and she needed training wheels. It would be like a student driver taking a Lamborghini for a spin.
Not a good idea.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
To his credit, he didn’t badger her or try to start a negotiation. He immediately backed off, to her total relief. She probably would have given in if he’d pressed the subject.
“Okay, but just know that the offer is open if you ever change your mind.”
“I won’t. I think we should keep this strictly professional.”
“If you say so.”
“I do. It’s for the best.”
Except that she didn’t sound sure even to herself. There was a part of her – a huge part – that wanted to say yes. She had a feeling that Ryan Ward knew how to have m
ore fun than she’d ever imagined.
CHAPTER SEVEN
It was like winning the lottery but losing the ticket.
Sierra wanted the same thing Ryan did. Have a casual relationship. Have some fun but not get too serious or tied down with messy emotions and commitment. If commitment was so wonderful, they’d have a better word for it.
But she’d turned him down flat. There had been no equivocation in her tone when she’d said no and he knew good and well that persuasion wasn’t a great idea. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had to convince a woman to date him. They usually came on to him. It had been a long time since his ego had taken a battering. Perhaps the last time was when a critic said Ryan had the cinematic vision of a slug.
They tussled over the check when the waitress dropped it off but somehow he’d managed to wrestle it out of her hands and pay it. It might not be a date but he’d invited her, so he wanted to pick up the bill. It wasn’t a big deal, which was what he told Sierra. She’d given in but the mutinous set of her lips had him thinking that this wasn’t the last he was going to hear about this.
“Let me help you on with your coat.”
She murmured a thank you as he held her wool coat up and she slid her arms in. They’d only been standing next to one another for a few seconds but he’d caught a whiff of her shampoo and it smelled like summer, a mix of coconut and sunshine. Geez, these cosmetic companies were really getting crafty with their aromas. Some poor bastard who wasn’t as savvy as he was would easily fall into the trap thinking the female was as wonderful as a sunny day at the beach.
Although Sierra is fantastic.
Both of them bundled up against the cold, they headed down the sidewalk and toward the condo development where they were both living. Neither of them spoke; maybe because they’d already said everything or maybe because it was freezing outside and their teeth were chattering. The temperature had dropped at least twenty degrees in the last few hours.
And the Winner Is Page 4