by Chris Cannon
Her grandfather opened his pen and grinned. “Very nice. I can always use new pens.” Her grandmother ran her fingers over the cashmere scarf. “It’s lovely. And I can wear it with my new hat.”
A cart came around with cocoa. Bryn grabbed one cup with marshmallows for herself and one without for Jaxon, which she put next to his books. For the moment, the world seemed to be back on track. All around her, happy families exchanged gifts and chattered. So far no one was attacking the estate like they’d done last year. Life was good.
Jaxon returned a few minutes later, with a huge grin on his face. “What has you so happy?” she asked him.
He pulled a set of car keys from his pocket. “A Lexus hybrid SUV, for those days when I need an SUV rather than my car.”
Yes. Because everyone needed two vehicles. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. He sat and drank his cocoa. Bryn did her best to relax, but it felt like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. What was supposed to happen after the gift exchange? The ball had been interrupted at this point last year, so she had no idea. “Not that I’m complaining about the calm, but what’s next on the agenda?”
“After cocoa, everyone is free to mingle or relax. Guests with young children will head home,” her grandmother said. “The evening will wind down, and we’ll say goodbye to people as they leave.”
Bryn sipped her cocoa. “That sounds nice and uneventful.”
“Which would be a change from your usual life,” Jaxon said.
She knew he was teasing but felt the need to give him some grief. “I’d like to point out that you, too, tend to be in the middle of the chaos.”
“I prefer to think of myself as chaos adjacent,” he said. “Mostly due to my interactions with you.”
The orchestra started playing at a louder volume again. Several couples went back to the dance floor. The ones that did were looking at each other with what appeared to be love. Maybe they were just thrilled with their Christmas gifts, though it would be nice to think that some of them were happy in their relationships.
Jaxon sipped his cocoa and looked at his book. He should ask her to dance but he seemed to have no intention of doing that. She cleared her throat, to gain his attention. “I’m glad you’re enjoying your books, but you should probably ask me to dance.”
“Okay.” He closed the book and slid it back into the box. “Bryn, would you like to dance?”
“I would. Thank you.”
They joined the other couples on the dance floor and started to waltz.
“Did you want to dance,” Jaxon asked, “or did you just want people to see us dancing?”
“Both.” And that was the truth. “I’d like to think that dancing with me isn’t terrible.”
“And now you’re fishing for compliments.”
“If you’d actually given me a compliment, or commented on my appearance at all this evening,” she said, “I wouldn’t have to go fishing. And isn’t that part of your job description anyway?”
“My job description?” Once again he appeared confused.
“Just so you know, there’s a little voice in my head, set on repeat, saying, ‘Don’t kick him in the shins.’”
He stopped dancing. Luckily, the few couples on the dance floor were able to move around them. “We need to talk,” he said.
“We can’t talk here?” she said.
“No.”
“Fine. Follow me.” She led him out of the ballroom and up the stairs to the small living room next to the dining room where she usually ate with her grandparents. There were bookshelves and several wing-backed chairs and a chaise lounge. “Does this work for you?”
“Yes.” He sat in one of the black leather wing-backed chairs. She sat on the gray chaise lounge that faced him.
“Okay,” she said. “We’re here. Talk.”
“You’ve been acting strange this evening,” he said.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“Me?” She laughed. “I’m the one who’s been acting strange?”
“You’ve threatened to kick me multiple times.”
“You’re right, I did, and with good cause. You haven’t said a single nice thing to me this evening except when you asked me about the cake. I realize you’re used to looking good all the time, but I put extra effort into my appearance this evening. It would be nice if you recognized that fact.”
He sat forward in his chair. “Seriously?”
It took skill to put so much contempt into such a short answer. Fire sparked in her gut. She closed her eyes and thought of snow. “Do you care to expand on that answer?”
“You’re being ridiculous.” He stood like he planned to leave.
Bryn ticked items off on her fingers. “You spent the first part of the evening avoiding me. You left me sitting by myself for the first dance and didn’t realize it was a problem until my grandmother pointed it out. You did work to make everyone believe that you didn’t mean to insult me or try to break our marriage contract because apparently, appearances matter more than my actual feelings, and now you’re acting like I’m the one with the problem. What in the hell is going on?”
“Why did you buy me those books?” Jaxon asked.
Okay. He didn’t answer her question but at least he was talking to her. “I wanted to find something you’d like. I didn’t want to do the impersonal-expensive gift. I wanted it to mean something.”
Jaxon reached into his jacket and pulled out another jeweler’s box. He came to sit next to her on the chaise. “I brought two gifts.” He popped open the lid on a sapphire and diamond bracelet that twinkled in the lights. “Behold the impersonal expensive gift. The one I didn’t give you because I wanted to give you something that had meaning, too.”
Okay. Where was he going with this? And then she understood. “You were hedging your bets in case I didn’t buy you something personal?”
He nodded. “And I traded in the bracelet I’d ordered for Rhianna to partially pay for these. Not because I needed the money, but I needed to do it to move on…to move forward in my relationship with you.”
“Okay.” How should she respond? “You get credit for that but why did you spend the first part of the evening ignoring me?”
He closed the jeweler’s box and shoved it back in his pocket. “I didn’t know how to deal with you.”
He sat close enough that she could look into his eyes and see he was being truthful. Too bad what he was saying didn’t make sense. “What are you talking about? You deal with me every day at school.”
“I do.” He reached over and touched one of the loose pieces of hair that wasn’t bound up by the hairpin. His fingers brushed across her neck, giving her goosebumps. His gaze locked onto hers. “But I’ve never seen you like this.”
Bryn froze. How am I supposed to respond to that comment? What does he mean? How is he seeing me? And why is he sitting so close? Okay, if it was any other guy she’d think he was about to kiss her…but this was Jaxon. He didn’t want to kiss her…did he? And even if he did, did she want to kiss him, especially after his weird behavior this evening?
“If I’d never been involved with someone else,” he said. “I don’t think I’d be so confused.”
She’d like to think she wouldn’t spend the rest of her life with Jaxon haunted by the Ghost-of-a-Girlfriend past. Not that she expected him to forget, but it would be nice if he could move on. If they could both move on. Trading in the bracelet was a step in the right direction.
“The possibility of us as a real couple isn’t something I ever imagined,” he said. “Until I saw you tonight. It’s strange how your hair could make such a difference.”
And what could she say to that? She was still the same person. “It’s just a new hairstyle.”
“No. It’s not. It’s me seeing you in a different light. After touring the estate the other day things just feel different, don’t you think?”
“Different good or different bad?”
“I’m not sure.”
Her
heart rate bumped up a notch. Was he asking what she wanted? What do I want? She wanted someone who wanted her, not someone who was stuck with her and making the best of it.
“This feels like a pivotal moment,” he said.
“It does.”
“So what do we do?” he asked.
How the hell am I supposed to know? “Pivot?”
“Okay, then. I guess we’ll head in a new direction.” He closed the distance between them and Bryn tensed as he pressed his mouth against hers. What if the kiss was terrible? And what in the hell was she thinking kissing a Westgate?
But it wasn’t terrible. And maybe she just needed to stop thinking and give this a chance. His lips were soft and warm and his hand on her cheek felt natural. She tilted her head to the right for a better angle and kissed him back. And even though he was a Blue and normally cold and standoffish, there was heat.
All her concerns about how this could possibly work between them disappeared as he pulled her close. His arms around her felt right, and he tasted like hot cocoa, so she let go and lost herself in the moment.
When he ended the kiss, she opened her eyes and found him smiling at her. She realized she was smiling back.
“Hey, there,” she said.
“So, we’re pivoting now?” he said.
“I’m not opposed to the idea.”
“Good,” and then he leaned in again. Just as his lips brushed across hers, the living room door opened.
“There you are,” her grandmother said.
Bryn froze. Jaxon slowly sat back. They both looked at her grandmother who was acting like she hadn’t just walked in and interrupted a kiss. Although she was smiling like this had been her plan all along.
“Sorry to interrupt, but you can’t just disappear from the Ball. People will talk. Come along.”
Bryn’s grandmother turned and left the room.
“That wasn’t awkward at all,” Bryn said, attempting to make a joke.
Jaxon stood. “People are probably expecting only one of us to come back alive. Let’s go dance to show them everything is okay.”
Bryn stood and followed him back to the ballroom and out to the dance floor. Was everything okay? She wasn’t sure. It was more like everything was awkward and strange with a side of my-life-may-not-totally-suck-after-all.
When Jaxon pulled her close on the dance floor this time, it felt like she was somehow more connected to him. “Why does it feel like everyone is staring at us?” Bryn asked.
“Because they are,” Jaxon said.
“Not helping.” She met his gaze.
He smiled at her and it was a smile she hadn’t seen before. It was a bit mischievous and somewhat snarky, with a dash of we-have-a-special-secret.
“You’ll adjust. Westgates tend to attract attention.”
And now he was thinking of her as a Westgate, which technically she would become, but holy crap, this was weird. “Why do I feel like they all know about the pivoting?”
“I’m sure your grandmother will be discreet,” Jaxon said.
“You’re probably right.” Or she’d tell everyone, in order to counteract the strange incident earlier this evening, but no way was she mentioning that to Jaxon.
They danced to three more songs before the orchestra announced that it was the last song. The opening notes of “Auld Lang Syne” floated through the room.
“I’ve never understood the lyrics to this song,” Bryn said.
“I think it’s about remembering the past, and honoring it, while looking forward to what the New Year will bring,” said Jaxon. “Which is oddly perfect for this moment.”
Bryn didn’t comment. She just held her breath and hoped that this optimistic trend would continue.
At the end of the song, Jaxon released Bryn but he kept one hand on her lower back as he walked her back to the table where her grandparents sat.
“We’re going to say goodbye to the guests now,” her grandmother said, “and that includes you.”
“I already knew that.” Where did that leave Jaxon?
“I’ll help my parents gather their things and see you on the way out,” Jaxon said.
Bryn followed her grandparents to the main doors, where they thanked everyone for coming. Jaxon’s family was last to leave. Even though she knew there was no chance that he’d kiss her goodbye in front of other people, she was a little disappointed when he didn’t.
…
Christmas morning, Bryn woke with a sense of relief. She’d survived the Christmas Ball. Even though Jaxon had been inconsiderate with the whole first-dance thing, he hadn’t been malicious. And the incident showed he wasn’t perfect, which was oddly reassuring. And then there was the whole kiss thing. The singular kiss which hadn’t been repeated, but the dancing had been nice. And the smile he’d given her when he’d said good night had been genuine. Butterflies had looped around in her stomach.
She’d been afraid her grandmother would grill her once the Westgates had left, but thankfully, neither of her grandparents asked any questions. Bryn had retreated to her room where she’d fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
She showered and dressed in jeans and a cashmere sweater. It was vacation after all. She should be able to wear jeans. She put on boots instead of tennis shoes in an attempt to somewhat appease her grandmother. When she reached the small dining room it was empty. That was strange. Maybe they were in the atrium. She went up the stairs and headed toward her grandmother’s favorite area of the house. Sure enough, the rich scent of coffee mingled with the smell of green growing things.
“Good morning,” her grandmother said from the table where she sat drinking coffee by herself. Uh-oh. There was a platter of fruit, bagels, and Christmas cookies, but the table was set for two. Did her grandparents want to eat alone? Was she interrupting?
“Where’s your other half?” Bryn asked.
“We had breakfast together about an hour ago.”
Okay. Then this spot was for her. She sat and grabbed a bagel, slathering it with cream cheese.
“I thought you’d go straight for the Christmas cookies,” her grandmother said.
“I was trying to act mature, but if you insist.” Bryn grabbed a star-shaped cookie covered with green icing and took a bite before pouring herself a cup of coffee.
“So,” her grandmother said, “how do you think the ball went last night?”
Did she really want to discuss the kiss with her grandmother? “No one attacked, so I’d say it went well.” She finished off her cookie and picked up her bagel.
“That was a relief,” her grandmother said. “And how about what I interrupted when I came looking for you?”
Bryn’s cheeks warmed. Then again, who else could she talk to about this? “That was a surprise, but a nice one.” She told her about Jaxon’s comment about seeing her in a new light and how it had confused him.
“Good. Although I’m still displeased about the first dance. Did he explain that?”
“Sort of. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me, but I’d like to think it was just a mistake.”
“On his part, perhaps, but I’m not sure about Rinata’s innocence,” her grandmother said. “She would have heard that his marriage contract had been approved.”
“Maybe it was her way of standing up for her sister,” Bryn said. “I’ve been worried that Rhianna would always come between Jaxon and I, but I think he’s made peace with the situation.”
“I don’t see any reason why you can’t have a good relationship with him.”
Since they were sharing, Bryn said, “Speaking of relationships, is it my imagination or do you seem to be getting along better with your significant other?”
Her grandmother smiled. “It’s not your imagination. We’ve decided to spend more time together socially. After the attacks I think we both realized how much we could have lost. Whatever the reason, I plan to enjoy it while it lasts.”
That made it sound like she didn’t expect it to contin
ue.
“I see that look on your face. Heed my advice. Enjoy the time you have when Jaxon is being agreeable. His personality will change with the political climate. Don’t allow that to blindside you.”
Talk about conflicting advice. “So I should be pessimistically optimistic?”
“Yes.”
Bryn sighed. “Just when I think I understand how things might work, they change.”
“You’ve just summarized life in general,” her grandmother said. “We should talk about dinner tonight.”
“Why does it sound like you’re about to say something unexpected and possibly disturbing?”
“Because you’re perceptive.” Her grandmother grinned. “A few ground rules. No jeans allowed, and you should wear that hairpin again.”
“Why?” She was pretty sure she knew the answer to that question.
“I believe Lillith is trying to make up for Jaxon’s social blunder last night, so she’s invited us to Westgate Estate for Christmas dinner.”
“Oh.” She’d thought her grandmother was about to say that Jaxon and his family would be coming here. Going there added a whole other layer of anxiety.
“Care to elaborate?” her grandmother said.
“I’m not sure whether I should be excited or slightly terrified,” Bryn said. “Jaxon’s mood can change in a split second. Not to mention the fact that I’ll have to spend the evening with Ferrin.”
“You’ll become accustomed to Ferrin. Soon you won’t even notice when he’s in the room.”
Bryn laughed. “Right. He might have agreed to the marriage contract but that doesn’t mean he likes being around me any more than I like being around him. I always feel like I’m waiting for him to insult me.”
“It’s just his way,” her grandmother said. “Be grateful that Lillith tempered his influence on Jaxon.”
“I’m grateful for that every time I’m around Ferrin,” Bryn said.
“Do you want me to help you pick out a dress for this evening?”
“Yes, because I don’t want Ferrin to have any excuse to insult me.”
…
Bryn checked her reflection in the mirror. “Are you sure this dress isn’t too much?”