Using disguised handholds he’d had Tarlak magically carve into the side, Haern scaled the wall, slipped across it after a patrol passed on by, and then raced down the steps and to the street below. Home at last, he ran, letting the familiar sights welcome him … only, the sights weren’t so familiar. Street after street, he checked for the hidden markings of the Wolf Guild, the scrawled legs of the Spider Guild, even the thick smear of Ash, but they were not there. Along the sides of homes and stalls, and even in the very street, he saw only where they’d been. The symbols had been burned, scraped, and painted over if necessary. No guilds, no colors.
Just the Sun.
“You weren’t kidding, Tar,” Haern said as he continually scanned the rooftops on either side of him. Surely a scout from one of the guilds would have located him by now. Haern used a window to vault up, and from atop a shop he looked about. No one. The night was calm, and he did not like it. Panic nipped at the edges of his mind. Going into the city, he’d always felt in control, the mad puppeteer holding all the strings, but it seemed his absence had been far too long.
Haern raced along the rooftops, extended his body to leap across the alleys, his legs pounding to keep up speed, his body shifting to adjust his weight as he moved across the consistently uneven terrain. Sometimes he stopped, but each time was only to see the symbol of the Sun, a reminder of the underworld’s new king. The truce, his deal with the king … Haern tried not to dwell on it, to let the pounding blood in his veins drown it out, but all he could think of was how his entire legacy, everything he’d killed for, had vanished like a puff of smoke from the end of Tarlak’s pipe.
His movements slowed. It seemed there would be no trouble that night, not unless he went looking for it in the various safe houses about the town … and even then he had no guarantee they’d be in use anymore. And with the silence, with the isolation amid the shadows, he could not hide from his thoughts.
You wanted me to be there for you …
Always, he thought. Always, he’d relied on Delysia to understand, to never judge him for the blood on his blades.
… I’m not sure I can …
His foot slipped, and he rolled down a slanted rooftop, gaining his balance only moments before leaping over an alley and crashing along the wood shingles of another.
I can’t be the one to help you remember who you are.
Teeth clenched, he tried pushing himself back up, to run with a frenzy and purpose that showed he still ruled the night. Instead, he stumbled again, and when he leaped to the next home, he did not cover the distance necessary. Arms out, he caught the side, felt the shingles dig into his hands. His momentum sent his knees smacking into the side, and he sucked in air to keep his cry down. Pulling himself up, he crouched there, body heaving breaths in and out, as he felt his deadened mind betray him with its cruel remembrance.
Your father would be so proud.
It wasn’t the same. It couldn’t be. He’d denied him, denied everything his father would have him become. That’s why he wore the Wraith’s hood … wasn’t it? His choices, his killing of Ghost, they all had their reasons. The type of man to treat life as a mere obstacle in the way of his goals … that wasn’t him. It couldn’t be.
But Delysia was supposed to be there for him, to let him know if he ever stepped foot on his father’s path; only, now she was gone, he was alone, and all he had were his memories of the arrow piercing her breast intertwined with the way she’d stared at him with a mixture of horror and rage as he lifted a bloodied saber to ensure she did not heal the dying Ghost.
Slowly, he rose to his feet and looked out across the city. He’d once sworn to never call it his city, and he understood the wisdom of that even more clearly. Only a few months gone and it had forgotten him, moving on to new masters, with the Darkhand spreading fear with strength far beyond what he as the Watcher had fostered. There was a way to pull it back to him, he knew. All he had to do was inspire fear above all others, just as he’d once set out to do that night Senke died. But doing so would take him to places far beyond comfort. Onto a path he might recognize all too painfully well.
As he looked, he finally saw another with him on the rooftops, and a familiar face at that. Trying to shove away his troubled thoughts, he carefully made his way there, having to climb down only once to cross a street and then snake back up the side of a home. Sitting with her back against a stone bird atop a modest mansion, Zusa stared into nowhere, head resting on her knuckles.
“A quiet night,” Haern said, standing beside her.
“If only all may be this quiet,” Zusa said, eyes never shifting. Haern followed her gaze, and in the distance, he saw the Gemcroft mansion, its windows shining by the light of dozens of candles. Around its fences patrolled men with torches, looking like little bugs in the night.
Haern noticed her clothing, loose-fitting pants and a shirt that clearly did not belong to her. There was blood on it, though from no apparent source. Tarlak had said nothing of the Trifect, Haern realized, and he wondered just how well Alyssa had taken Muzien’s rise and subsequent dissolution of the Watcher’s truce. By the looks of it, not well at all.
“Mind if I join you?” he asked.
She finally looked his way, and he saw the redness of her eyes.
“Yes,” she said. “Please.”
Haern pushed his cloak aside so he could sit. Looking about, he saw they were very much alone, and he removed his hood as well. Hiding his face from her seemed pointless given their time in Angelport, and honestly, did it matter if someone else saw? Reckless, he knew, but his foul mood made him not care.
“Trouble at the mansion?” he asked, seeing her gaze return to her home.
“In a way,” she said. “Alyssa will soon marry Victor Kane, and I fear I will no longer be welcome in their home.”
Haern did not bother containing his surprise.
“You’ve been with Alyssa since the beginning,” he said. “How could you not be welcome?”
Zusa rubbed at her eyes, and he heard her sniffle.
“Because staying means obeying that madman as if he were an equal to Alyssa. I can’t do it, Haern. I can’t pretend to serve him.”
Haern almost reached out to her, wishing he could comfort her, but his hand remained at his side.
“I’m sorry,” he said instead. “You deserve so much better.”
“I deserve nothing,” she said. “I have no family line. No money, no land, no reputation or soldiers sworn to my name. No matter how many years I stay at Alyssa’s side, I’ll always be the strange little woman lurking in the shadows. I’m a priestess hated by the only god she ever worshipped; a bodyguard abandoned by the only woman she ever loved; a stupid girl who killed the only man who ever loved her.”
“Stop it,” Haern said. “You’re more than that, so much more.”
She looked to him.
“And you?” she asked. “It’s good to see you back, Haern, but I fear you’ve returned far too late. Will you still prowl the night, even without reason?”
“I’ll always have reason.”
“And I’ll always have reason to protect Alyssa and her son,” she said. “But it only means I’m a stubborn fool.”
Haern shrugged.
“You’re hardly alone in that, either.”
Finally, she smiled, and it lit up her face, even if only for the briefest of moments. Zusa shifted so that she sat closer to him, and she leaned her head against his shoulder, her short hair pressing against his neck. Unsure of what to do, Haern slowly put his arm about her, and he felt her relax at his touch.
“I’m so tired, Haern,” she said. Her voice was quiet, distant. “I have no home, nowhere to go, no person to be. Have I robbed myself with my devotion? Has my love cheated me of a true life?”
“I pray not,” he whispered.
“But you’ve made it work. I’ve seen it, the way they care for you at that tower. Who are you, Haern? When the cloak and hood come off, who are you that allows them to lov
e you so?”
He held her tighter against him, imagined Delysia’s betrayal, the way she’d struck his hand when he’d reached for her.
“I’m not sure I know anymore.”
They fell silent, Zusa in his arms, watching together as the deep night wore on. When she finally pulled away, a look was in her eyes, and he could not discern it.
“Forgive me,” she said.
And then she kissed him. His entire body froze, but she pressed herself against him, put her hands on his neck. They were so soft, so controlled, yet when he kissed back, he felt them dig into his skin with a strength bordering on desperation.
“Zusa,” he said, pushing her away, his scrambled mind trying to regain control.
“Don’t misunderstand this,” Zusa said as she unhooked his cloak and spread it out behind him on the rooftop. “A man and woman needing comfort. That’s all this is. Can you give me that?”
She put a hand on his chest, slipped it underneath his shirt to touch his skin.
“Please,” she said, and he saw a fragile honesty so rarely allowed upon her face. To reject her would break it, perhaps forever. She’d endure, he knew, but it’d be alone. Delysia’s face flashed in his mind, and he thought of his fumbling attempt to caress her. Her rejection had been the kindest possible, but it’d still left him feeling ashamed, foolish, lost. In time, she’d whispered. But now he saw only her tears, felt only her anger and betrayal as Ghost died at his feet. She might come to forgive him … but would she ever love him? Would there be enough time in the world for that wound to heal? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know.
A man and a woman needing comfort. Zusa was the one ready to break, the sorrow naked on her face, but as Haern reached out, he felt his need for comfort just as terrible. His hand looped behind Zusa’s neck, and pulled her close so he could kiss her again. Her hands were on him, and she breathed in his kisses as if afraid each one would be the last. Off went his shirt, as did hers, and she took his hands and placed them upon her breasts before forcing him onto his back, her lips returning to his. Even now, she needed to be in control, Haern sensed, but he let her, feeling swept away and refusing to do anything that might dare stop it. Another long moment later, she pulled up, her breathing heavy, the last of her clothes quickly removed. Haern stared at her in the moonlight, beautiful, naked, body so strong, eyes so dark.
Zusa leaned back so she could pull away his pants, then climbed atop him. One more kiss, and then she guided him inside, body curled into him, her forehead pressed against his. She moved slowly at first, fingers digging into his shoulders, and he reacted only in concert. His hands drifted down her sides until he held her waist, keeping her against him, almost fearing she might leave. The way she clutched his body, he knew she felt the same.
Haern leaned his head back, and above him, Zusa moved faster and faster. Her strong legs were unrelenting, and she closed her eyes and tilted her neck so that her short hair covered her face. For some reason, it made the moment all the more private and her all the more vulnerable. There was no denying her sorrow, her despair, but her pleasure was a mask across it, and that was one thing Haern could understand. Finally, he took control, pulling her against him, moving beneath her so that she could remain wrapped in his arms. Her lips flitted across his neck, everything even slower now, but it was enough.
His body tensed, his arms a vise, her moans in his ear, and then he let go. Slowly, he exhaled, and he felt her body go limp atop him. Still he held her, fearful of the moment when her warmth would leave him, when all the world would come crashing back in. Her face remained pressed against his neck, his skin wet from tears he didn’t realize she’d cried.
“Can you stay with me?” she asked.
“I will.”
His voice sounded so far away. Wishing for the right words yet not finding them, he clutched her thin frame tightly to his body, felt her shudder.
“I’m sorry,” she said, just as when they first started. She pulled off him, reached for his cloak, and then curled it about her so she could lie with her head on his chest and her eyes closed.
“It’ll be all right,” he whispered as she nestled against him. A sigh escaped her lips, content enough that he allowed himself to believe the lie he spoke. Her breathing steadied, and he put his arms around her, holding her close.
Happiness, he thought. At least one night of happiness.
It was only then he leaned back, closed his eyes, and let his own tears fall.
CHAPTER
33
Pelarak, high priest of Karak’s faithful, rose from his bed at the sound of knocking. He grabbed his deep black robe from a hook on the wall, slid it over his thin body, and then opened the door to his room.
“What is it?” he asked another of the priests, a handsome, clean-shaven man named Essau.
“Grim tidings,” Essau said, bowing his head low. “I fear Daverik has been murdered.”
“Murdered?” said Pelarak. “How?”
In answer, Essau stepped aside, revealing two little girls standing in the dimly lit hall. The very sight of them was a prick to the back of his neck. Kneeling before them, he offered them his hands, yet they shied away, afraid.
“Lesha, Jayda, you have no reason to fear me,” he told them. “I am Karak’s most faithful, and so long as you are faithful too, then I am your fiercest protector in all the land.”
Lesha, the darker-skinned of the two, crossed her hands behind her back and looked to the floor. All her body but her face was covered with dark black and purple wrappings, and through the white cloth covering the gap, he saw that she was crying.
“What is the matter?” he asked. “Is it true? Did someone kill your master?”
“With a dagger,” Lesha said. “She told us not to come here. She said…”
The girl’s voice trailed off as Jayda elbowed her in the side. Together, they stood there, bowed, silent, and clearly afraid.
“Who is she?” Pelarak asked.
Jayda was the one to meet his eye this time.
“She used to be one of us,” she said. “But not anymore.”
Zusa, thought Pelarak, and the priest felt a familiar fire burn in his stomach. Would they never be free of that horrible woman? Pelarak stood, ran a hand through his gray hair. Now Daverik was dead, along with four others he’d trained, leaving just these two. The question was … what were they to do with them?
“Wake the rest of the elders,” Pelarak told Essau. “I would have us pray before the altar.”
“Can it not wait until morning?”
Pelarak put a hand on little Jayda’s shoulder, felt her tremble at his touch.
“No, it cannot.”
Down the hall he led the girls, back to the main worship chamber. Before the rows of pews towered the great statue of Karak, with purple fire burning in braziers at his beloved god’s feet, fires that would never dwindle or fade. They, like Karak, were eternal. Pelarak ordered the girls to kneel at the altar, which was still wet with the blood from that nightfall’s sacrifice. They crossed their hands in prayer, quiet and obedient, and it made the priest smile. No doubt they were troubled, scarred by witnessing Daverik’s death and now adrift with an uncertain future, but their souls must have been loyal, for in prayer before the statue of the Lion, they were calm, they were at peace. The same could not always be said of kings and wise men.
“Do not cease your prayers,” Pelarak whispered to them. “No matter what you hear, what my fellows discuss, never cease.”
They both nodded, eyes closed, never looking up.
The door left of the altar, which led to the various barracks and dungeons of the temple, opened, and out stepped Essau.
“They’ll be here shortly,” he said, standing beside Pelarak as they overlooked the statue. He gestured to the two girls. “I’m not sure I understand the need for haste. They’re members of the faceless, now and forever. Are we to choose another teacher?”
Pelarak crossed his arms, fingers digging into
the thick, rough fabric of his robe. He’d never been pleased with the faceless, viewing it as an unpleasant necessity at best, a poor punishment at worst. When Eliora and Nava had died and Zusa gone rogue, he’d been content to consider the matter dead. But then had come Daverik, along with the backing of several prominent priests in Mordeina, all insisting it be started up anew. Against such pressure, he could not back down, especially since dogma was on their side. But that didn’t mean he had to like it, nor did he have to honor it … not if it went against Karak’s wishes.
“Our temples have played games,” he said. “And these poor girls have been caught in the middle. You ask what we are to do with them, and it is a question we must receive an answer to. But I will not consult books, nor tally votes among our elders. No, Essau, we will call for the voice of the Lion before we resort to lesser, imperfect measures.”
In groups of two and three came the rest of the elders, until all seven were there with Pelarak and Essau. They lingered about, speaking softly with one another. Still did Jayda and Lesha remain in prayer like proper students. Pelarak knelt beside each of them, putting his hands on their backs and closing his eyes so he might pray with them.
From the mouths of children, he prayed. May there be no other wisdom but yours.
With that, he stood, turned to address the various elders.
“I know the hour is late, but I believe we cannot delay,” Pelarak began, “for one of our own, Daverik, has been killed by the hand of our most shameful failure, the woman Zusa. These two, Jayda and Lesha, have come to us, for they are without home and master.”
“They cannot stay here,” the oldest of them all said, a pockmarked man named Geas. “It has been temple law since time immemorial. The faceless are not allowed to dwell within the holy ground.”
“Not so immemorial,” Pelarak said, turning to face Geas. “For we have writings from Theron the Wise, who first created the order, and he never decreed any sort of banishment.”
Shadowdance 05 - A Dance of Ghosts Page 41