by Lyn, K.
“Are you going?”
“What? Why? Do you want me to go?”
He shook his head. “No, I do not want you to go, ever.” His voice was stern.
“Not ever?”
“No.”
“Maybe my family could come to Rapid City when the baby comes.”
Thinking quickly, he asked, “Malika, will you marry me?”
The young woman had dreamed of her wedding day since she was a young girl. “Really, you want to marry me?”
“Yes. I assumed we would be married after the baby was born, but according to the laws of the state the child will not have a last name if we do not marry prior to his birth.”
“Yes, he will, or she, remember? The baby would have my last name.”
That he could not have. Kevin would lose the child if Malika’s parents found out about it and if he had no claim to it by the white man’s law. He distrusted the white man’s laws and during their next trip to Rapid City, the man of the Sioux and the woman of European descent were married very simply in a civil ceremony. Kevin promised Malika a traditional Sioux ceremony whenever she chose. The young woman in love admired the simple band of gold on the way back to the reservation. It was admired by her husband, too, but not for its beauty. She belonged to him now, as did her unborn child. He would lose no more to the white man.
***
The trip to the city had been tiring for the woman now entering her third trimester, and she was asleep hours before Kevin joined her. She looked more beautiful every day to the proud Sioux man, as she lay on her side facing away from him. He lay down next to her with a hand on her stomach, waiting for the strong kicks of his son, or daughter, but he was certain that Malika would bear him a son.
Malika awoke when she felt the warmth of her husband behind her and she watched as he waited for their child to respond to his touch. She gently touched his hand, running her fingers across the tops and in between them. She moved his hand downward so that he could feel the fullness of her belly. She wanted her new husband tonight. He didn’t think it safe, but tonight she would not take no for an answer. She opened her legs and held his hand as she slid it between them, letting him feel how much she wanted him. He tried to pull away, but Malika held him there, pressing one of his thick fingers along her swollen clitoris. He kissed the back of her neck and held her earlobe between his lips. “Malika, we must not take chances.” She didn’t say anything, but she moved his finger back and forth. It felt so good and it had been too long since they had made love. He pulled away from her and squeezed her thigh. “We have come so far, Malika. We do not have long to wait.” She turned toward him, her baby filled belly nestled between them, and took his swollen cock into her hand. She kissed his lips and draped a leg over his. She closed her eyes and ran the head of his penis between her aching lips. “Malika, we can’t,” he tried to protest. His defenses were fading quickly as his wife was brought to climax with the head of his cock.
“The doctor said it’s okay, remember? She asked if sex was enjoyable. You do find it enjoyable, don’t you?” She licked his lips and thought she heard a low moan from her husband. “It would be our first time as husband and wife.”
He opened his eyes and looked into the pool of blue in the eyes of his wife. “Oh, Malika.”
She pulled him inside of her and kissed him as she eased him onto his back. The beautiful woman rose up and went back down slowly on the hardness she missed deep inside of her. Kevin thrust into her harder and harder. Being inside of her was the only thought in his head right now. His eyes were closed and he felt his body steadily climbing toward orgasm.
“Kevin, oh Kevin.”
The moans of the only woman he had every loved caused his body to tense. Malika pushed down as hard as she could as the seed of her husband filled her. Her husband held onto her arms to steady himself against the force of his climax.
When he finally opened his eyes, she was smiling down at him. “We have a lot of time to make up,” she teased.
“I guess we do.”
She took his hands and kissed each of his fingers, pulling each one between her lips. She wanted to stay like that all night, but her bulging belly was making her back hurt and she slowly lifted up and off of her lover. She lay as close to her husband as her body would allow and fell asleep in his arms. Kevin lay awake for a while, thinking about the future. The future was all he thought about lately. Was he selfish for wanting to raise his child on the reservation? He had seen the hunger on the faces of the children and he couldn’t bear to see the same look on his own child. Education at Pine Ridge was lacking, but Malika could teach him and what could not be learned from books, the child would learn from his father. His child could be the beginning of a new generation, the generation that would bring pride back to the Sioux. With Malika anything was possible. They had both known the sadness of leaving their people. Together, he and Malika were a new family.
Malika moved in her sleep and the unborn child kicked against Kevin’s side. He gently placed his hand on Malika’s stomach and made a promise to his unborn child, a promise of a better life somehow.
Malika wrote her parents and told them that she and the other teachers were going skiing over the holidays but she hoped to see them soon. Kevin had smiled when she informed him of her lie. He didn’t condone lying, but he had too much at stake now to risk interference by Malika’s parents.
***
The winter was harsh in South Dakota, and Malika, though no stranger to cold and snow after living in Pennsylvania, was not accustomed to little electricity. The baby growing inside her helped keep her warm, but she spent much of her time sitting by the fire that Kevin made certain was always lit. Whenever she could, she spent time with Kevin’s grandmother learning more and more history of the proud Sioux Nation. The statue of Crazy Horse that had been started in 1935 had a long way to go until it was complete, though Malika did not understand the delay. If it were a new carving of a president, it would have been finished within a year. She read as many of the history books that Kevin’s grandmother had about her beloved family. There had been little mention of the American Indians in her history classes. That part of the history of this land of the free and home of the brave had been omitted.
“History is written by the victors, Malika. That which society does not want known is omitted.”
She looked up at her husband as he stood in the doorway with tears in his eyes. “What’s wrong, Kevin?”
“Nothing. I noticed the book in your hands and it reminded me of…”
“Your parents? What happened to them?”
Malika was resting, and Kevin sat down on the bed beside her. “It was during what was called the Wounded Knee Incident in 1973. I was but a child at the time, but I remember there were a lot of people there. After nearly a century of discontent of the dire situation here at Pine Ridge, my people were joined by many Native American tribes to defy federal and state law enforcement. The protest was not quickly resolved but lasted for days, then weeks, and months. The national attention it brought to the Sioux Nation helped revive some of our traditions but we still have a long way to go. My parents were killed.” He lowered his eyes. “Grandmother has never gone into details with me, Malika. She is a woman who does not look back. We can only go forward, she would say. She raised me. She and Grandfather raised me, until Grandfather passed a few years ago.” He patted Malika’s belly. “I am blessed, Malika. If not for my grandparents, I would have been sent to a state facility where I can assure you I would not have known love.”
He took the book from her and laid it aside. “It will soon be time for us to go to Rapid City.”
“I know.” Malika had begun what she had read was called “nesting” and her nest was right here on the reservation with Kevin.
It was cold tonight and Kevin piled on the blankets and crawled into bed to snuggle with his wife. “What is it, Malika? You seem sad.”
“I’m happy here and I’m afraid to leave. It’s qu
iet out here, and peaceful.”
“It is better this way. You are petite and there could be complications. The doctors have warned us that birth could be difficult.”
She knew he was right, but that didn’t lessen her fears of leaving the familiar yet again.
Before they left for their month away, and while Malika was still able to make the trip, Kevin wanted to show his bride his secret cabin at Wounded Knee Creek. He had never shown the old outhouse to anyone, but he needed to go there one last time before becoming a father, and he was not going to leave his wife alone. It was a long trip to make in one day, but Malika felt good and was tired of being cooped up in the house.
The little place so far removed from anything or anyone was what Malika called cute. “You were serious when you said this place was small.”
The two of them fit inside but it was a tight fit. Kevin laid blankets on the dirt floor and the two of them sat together in the one place he found true peace.
“I come here to think, Malika, and to find answers.”
“Answers to what?”
“Answers to whatever is bothering me. The creek is loud here and it drowns out any thoughts in my mind except for the one requiring attending to at the time.”
The day was warm and a welcome change from the cold winter days, and the young couple took a walk along the creek. It was like a honeymoon in the woods, and Malika had never been camping.
“We should go back, Malika.” He didn’t want to be out here when darkness set in.
Malika stopped suddenly and held her belly, then made a quick descent to the ground.
“Malika!”
“Something’s wrong. It hurts. It really hurts.”
Malika was not due to give birth for six weeks. “Is the baby coming?”
She clutched his hand. “I don’t know, Kevin. I’m scared. It really hurts.”
He lifted her up, but she screamed from the pain. “Can you walk? Lean on me, Malika. We need to get out of here.”
The man’s heart bled with every scream of pain from his wife, but they slowly made it back to the jeep. She lay with her knees bent and her head on Kevin’s leg. If this was what labor felt like, she thought she would surely die before the baby arrived.
“Malika, can you make it to the city?”
“I…don’t…know.” She was crying and rolling from side to side, kicking the door of the jeep to get some relief from the pain.
“We’re home, baby.” He laid her down by the fire and wiped the tears from his eyes. He had never felt so helpless in his life.
“Kevin!”
He threw some things into a bag and helped her to the jeep. “Hold on, honey.”
Fortunately, the pain relented somewhat and Malika was able to rest, though not well. Kevin prayed he didn’t have to deliver his own baby on the side of the road.
“Kevin, are we there?”
“Almost.” He sped up, and over the ridge he could see the lights of the city.
Malika began pulling at her pants. “Get them off of me!”
“Hold on, baby.” He pulled into the emergency room parking lot and blasted the horn. He opened the door of the jeep and Malika lay naked on the seat of the jeep when the doors of the ER opened.
“Help me!”
Two men with a gurney were at the door of the jeep when Malika spread her legs wide.
“The baby is here,” she panted.
The doctors could see the baby’s head with its fine black hair, and a shot of adrenaline surged through their bodies. Through her gasps for air, Malika called for her husband as she was lifted onto the gurney.
“I’m right here.”
Malika’s doctor was on call that day and made it just in time for the baby’s birth. When a nurse asked for Malika’s name, Kevin proudly proclaimed her as his wife.
“Malika Wild Horse.”
“She’s your wife, legally?”
“Yes,” he said, bristling with contempt for the woman.
“You from the reservation?”
“Yes, Pine Ridge.”
The woman was a little skeptical about Kevin’s claim. “That’s a long way to come just to have a baby.”
“I did it for my wife.”
“Kevin!” Malika had not heard the words exchanged between Kevin and the nurse, but she did notice him gone. “Kevin!”
He ran to her side, relieved that the doctor had arrived.
“Malika, time to push.”
“I can’t.”
The doctor gave Kevin a look of concern, and the new father gently encouraged Malika to push. “It’s almost here, baby. You can do it.” He held her up and waited for his son to enter the world. Though the baby was early and appeared to be smaller than a full term infant, the child was healthy and appeared to have no problems.
“It’s a boy!”
Malika lay back down and Kevin held her shaking hands.
“You gave me a son, baby.”
The young woman smiled at her proud husband. She was exhausted.
The doctor left the room, leaving Malika in the hands of the rude nurse who immediately turned to the woman’s non-white husband.
“Do you have a place to stay?”
Kevin was not going to leave his wife, but to answer the woman’s question, he didn’t have a place to stay. The house was not scheduled to be rented to them for another two weeks.
“I plan to stay with Malika.”
“I don’t think so, sir. Malika needs her rest and the baby will spend the night in the nursery.”
Malika had fallen asleep and Kevin just stood there not knowing what to do.
“You cannot stay here. There are plenty of motels right off the highway.”
Malika was wheeled away and Kevin walked slowly to his jeep. This can’t be right, can it? Malika is my wife. He should have insisted upon the baby being born on the reservation. That was the best way, with family around. If he had been a white man, the nurse would have welcomed him with open arms.
Kevin drove to a secluded park but he slept very little as he thought about his son in the cold sterile environment of the hospital. At six in the morning he was back at the hospital asking for his wife’s room number.
The woman at the desk was as rude as the nurse had been and demanded to see some form of identification. She studied the laminated card as if she were trying to detect some flaw. In Kevin’s presence, she picked up the phone and rang the nursery. “That’s right. He claims to be married to one of the teachers.” Whoever was on the other end of the line thought something was funny. Kevin could hear the laughter but he was determined not to let the woman break his spirit. “I know it. It wasn’t like that in our day, was it? Seems nowadays the young white girls want it black or brown.” Kevin would have filed a complaint if he thought it would do any good.
“Go on up. Room 202.”
“Kevin, oh Kevin, I missed you. They said you went to a motel. Why did you leave me?”
“I’m sorry, Malika. I was told that I could not stay.” He thought about lying to her and saying it was his fault, but why should he? Let her know the truth. Let her see how things really work in the white man’s world.
“Oh. I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”
“You were asleep, Malika. You needed to rest.”
“Is the baby okay?”
“I have not seen him since last night.” Kevin began to panic at the thought of his child being sold on the black market while he had been away and while Malika had been sleeping.
A nurse wheeled the baby into the room and handed him to Malika. The day nurse was unlike the one they had encountered last night. She was a young African American woman, and Kevin breathed a sigh of relief. She was nice and helpful, and not at all like the rude white woman of last night. “Time to feed the baby. We gave him sugar water last night.”
The woman smiled at Kevin, and he reached out to touch his son. The infant boy held tightly to Kevin’s index finger while he made what his grandmother had des
cribed as, “happy baby noises”, while he greedily ate his breakfast.
“You are free to go home after lunch. He’s a cutie, your boy.”
The woman patted Kevin on the arm and left the happy family alone for a while. Kevin nervously paced the small room until the discharge papers had been signed and his wife and baby released.
“It’s a long way home, Kevin. Maybe it would be best to stay in the city awhile.”
“No, Malika. My son is going home.”
The stern words bothered the new mother, but not nearly as much as having been left out of them. He does want me, too, doesn’t he? She tried to make conversation on the way home, but Kevin said little more than an occasional “yes” or “uh huh.” He was tired and pissed off once again at the white man’s system. His son’s birth weight was not quite six pounds and if he had been any smaller, he would have been required to remain in the hospital for a few days. Kevin wasn’t going to take any chances. He was not going to stop driving until they were back in his home on the reservation. Last night had nearly done him in, and he had made several calls to the reservation with the good news hoping to cheer himself up.
***
Kevin’s grandmother and two of his friends were at the house to welcome the new family and Kevin had not seen a more beautiful sight, other than seeing his son for the first time. He helped Malika to the bed, and after the baby was fed, the new mother slept. Malika was surprised at the number of people offering their assistance with the newborn Sioux. She didn’t think anyone cared that much, not even here. Kevin’s grandmother came to the house daily and the aroma of her fresh baked breads and home cooked meals was just what Malika needed to recover from the exhaustion of pregnancy and childbirth.
She sat down on the bed one day next to Malika and held the young woman’s hand. “My dear, you have given my Kevin the most wonderful gift. He has no other relatives, besides me, and now you and the little one.” She reached for the hand with the band of gold and touched it ever so gently. “You must treasure this, Malika. It is much more than a gold band. You must never tell Kevin I told you this, but he was afraid to ask you to take his name.”
Malika was puzzled. “Why was he afraid?”