by Shar Dimick
“Thanks again, Cam. I must sound like a broken record. But, really I can’t thank you enough. You’re so amazing. How did I get so lucky?”
“Luck has nothing to do with it. You’re pretty amazing yourself.”
Liv glanced at the clock that hung above the door. Sara had been in surgery for about an hour now. The minutes seemed to drag by.
“Can I get you some coffee?” Cam offered. A coffee pot and a water cooler sat in the corner of the room. Above it hung a television that was tuned into a local news station with the sound turned off.
“Sure.”
“Cream or sugar?”
“Yes, please.” He poured two cups of black coffee and dumped in two creamers and two packets of sugar in each. He added red plastic stirring sticks and set the cups on the table to cool. Besides the two of them, the waiting room was almost empty. A minister sat talking to a young woman on the far side of the room and a few seats away an older man sat dozing off.
“By the way, I talked to the nurse out front before I came in. Sara’s in good hands. Dr. Brack was a guest attending physician during my residency. She’s one of the top orthopedic surgeons in the country.”
Liv nodded. “She seemed very knowledgeable. She said that Sara broke both bones in her ankle. She called it a bimalieo something or other. During the surgery, she said she’d need to insert some pins to keep the bones aligned while they healed. But, she was optimistic about Sara’s recovery.” Liv’s voice faltered.
Cam nodded understanding. “Are you still doing okay” He took Liv’s hand into his and covering it with his other one.
“I’m just starting to feel a little tired.” She sighed. “And I don’t know. It’s just I can’t help thinking this whole thing is my fault. Sara shouldn’t be going through this. I can’t help feeling responsible. If I’d only been paying closer attention to her instead of…Well you know…”
“It’s not your fault. Don’t beat yourself up Liv.”
“I know it’s just that…I feel so guilty about everything.”
“Well don’t. You didn’t do anything wrong. You can’t control everything that happens to her. It’s impossible to protect her 24/7.”
“Tell that to my ex when he finds out.” Her stomach hurt just thinking about that conversation.
“Look at me. You’re a great mother. Don’t forget that.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. They sat quietly and drank their coffee for a few minutes. The minister came over to speak with them.
“Hello. I’m Pastor Green.” He shook each of their hands. “Is it okay if I sit with you?”
“Sure.” Liv set her paper coffee cup down again. “My name is Liv and this is Cameron.” Liv gestured toward Cam.
“Nice to meet you both. I wish it were under happier circumstances, though.”
“Me too.” Liv smiled.
“Is there anything I can pray about with you?”
“Yes, actually. My daughter Sara broke her ankle when she fell into a ravine. She’s in surgery now. It seems like we’ve been sitting here for hours now and we haven’t heard any news yet.”
“Ahhh. The little girl that was lost in the woods. I heard about her. What a blessing she was found so quickly. You must be relieved about that, but I’m sure all the waiting can be tiring and worrisome. I’m guessing this has been one of the longest days of your life,” the pastor sympathized.
“It really has, you’re right about one thing though. I really am blessed.”
The pastor stayed and chatted with them a few more minutes. Then he bowed his head and said a prayer thanking God for Sara’s safe return and asking for a full recovery both physically and emotionally. Liv thanked the pastor and he moved on to speak to another couple that had just entered the waiting room. Cam draped his arm around Liv’s shoulders again. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.
“Is anyone here for Sara Reynolds?” a nurse called. Startled, Liv realized she must have fallen asleep.
“Yes, yes, that’s me.” Liv picked up her coffee cup and took a sip. It was ice cold.
“The doctor is ready to see you now.”
“Is it okay if I come with you?”
“Yes, please. Thanks Cam.” They followed the nurse into an inner office area where the surgeon waited for them.
“Dr. Brack,” Cam reached over and shook the doctor’s hand. “It’s good to see you again.”
“You too, Dr. Preston. Do you know the patient?”
“Yes, I’m an old friend of Sara’s mother, Liv. We both vacationed at Lake of the Pines as kids.” He smiled at Liv and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.
“That’s nice.” Dr. Brack turned to address Liv. “Your daughter did very well in surgery. She has a bimalleolar facture, which means she broke both the tibia and the fibula.” She pointed to the large and small bone of the ankle on a model. “I placed a small metal plate and four pins on the outside edge of her fibula to keep it stable and hold it in place as it heals. I also placed one pin in her tibia to keep it from moving as well.” She placed a couple of x-rays on a lighted board behind her. The first showed Sara’s ankle before surgery and the second, afterwards. “It looks like she missed her growth plate, which is good, but we’ll need to keep an eye on it. She’ll have to get it x-rayed every few weeks to be sure. She’s in a short-leg, plaster cast, which she’ll have on for about six weeks. During that time, she’ll need to keep her weight off it. After that, she’ll move to a removable brace and that’s when she’ll be able to start putting weight on it again. She’ll need to go to physical therapy where they’ll teach her some exercises to get the mobility back. At some point, she’ll have to have another short surgery to remove the hardware, especially if it starts to inhibit her growth plate. For now though, we’ll keep her here for a day or two. That way we can give her IV antibiotics to help prevent infection and pain medication to keep her comfortable.”
Liv nodded understanding, although she knew she wouldn’t remember half of what the doctor said.
As if reading her mind, Dr. Brack continued, “Don’t worry about remembering everything now, I have an information sheet I’ll send home with you.”
“Great. Can I see her now?”
“Yes, she should be waking up in the recovery room soon. She’ll be a little groggy at first. A nurse will take you in to see her in a minute.”
“Thank you Dr. Brack.”
“Do you have any questions for me?”
Liv’s mind went blank. “Not right now.”
Cam asked the doctor some additional questions about the growth plate. Dr. Brack then went over the technical medical details of the procedure with Cam. He seemed satisfied with both the course of treatment and Sara’s prognosis. After the surgeon left, Cam gave Liv a supportive hug and kissed the top of her head. He returned to the waiting room to retrieve Liv’s bag while she went with the nurse to see Sara.
Liv gasped on entering the recovery room. She hadn’t prepared herself to see all the machines they had Sara hooked up to. Her little girl looked pale and fragile amid the tubes and wires. A clear tube giving her oxygen snaked over her cheeks into her nose and a blood pressure cuff encircled her right arm. Every few minutes it automatically puffed up with air and took an automatic reading. On her index finger, Sara wore a clip with a light in it that made the tip of her finger glow red. An IV bag hung over her head as it steadily dripped fluids and medication into Sara’s left arm. A stack of pillows elevated her casted leg. A nurse sat next to her making notes. She looked up from her paperwork and motioned Liv over. Noticing that Liv looked a little pale herself, she stood up and had Liv sit in the chair instead.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. I just didn’t realize she’d be hooked up to so much stuff.”
“It does look a little overwhelming, doesn’t it? It’s nothing to worry about, though. This is standard for any surgery.”
Liv took a deep breath in. She held it a moment and then exhaled slowly. She repeated the ritua
l two more times and felt better.
In the background she heard the beeps of various machines as the nurse introduced herself, “My name is Kate and I’ll be taking care of Sara while she is in recovery. If you have any questions, just ask.”
“Okay.” Liv didn’t take her eyes off Sara. She took Sara’s small hand in hers. Her fingers were cold. Liv gently rubbed them between her hands to warm them up. Kate came around the other side of the bed and placed another warmed blanket over Sara. The little girl’s eyes fluttered open and she turned her head toward Liv. She reached up with her free hand and tried to pull the oxygen tubes off her face.
Kate whispered to Sara, “It’s okay honey. Let me help you.” Kate then removed the tubing from Sara’s face.
“Mom?” she squeaked, her voice hoarse.
“Shhh. Yes, Sweetie. It’s me. Don’t try to talk.”
“Are they taking me to surgery now?”
“They already did. You’re back in the recovery room now. You did great.”
“It’s over already?”
“Yep, it’s over already. I told you, you wouldn’t feel a thing.”
Sara closed her eyes and struggled to open them again.
“It’s okay. Sara, go to sleep. You need to rest.”
“My ankle hurts, a lot.” Liv looked to Kate.
“I just put some pain medication into her IV. The pain should go away in a moment,” Kate said anticipating the question before Liv asked it.
“Better?”
Sara nodded. Her eyes closed.
“That’s it Sweetie. You rest. I’ll be here when you wake up again,” Liv kissed Sara’s forehead.
“She’ll sleep for at least another hour. We’ll be taking her up to her room soon.” She flipped to the front of the chart. “She’ll be in room 225. If you haven’t eaten supper yet, now would be a good time to go. The cafeteria closes for the night soon.”
“Okay.” Liv’s stomach suddenly felt empty. She pressed another kiss on Sara’s cheek and quietly left the recovery area. She found Cam waiting for her in the hallway with her bag.
She smiled at him and placed her hand on his arm. “She’s sleeping. They’re prepping her to go upstairs to her room, but it’ll be a while before we can see her. The nurse said we might as well go down to the cafeteria and grab a bite to eat.”
“Sounds good, I’m starting to feel a little hungry.” He glanced up at the clock in the hall. It was almost 7:30. He’d totally missed lunch and was on the verge of missing supper too.
“So, Dr. Preston,” Liv teased as they walked down the hall. “You’re quite impressive in your element. You impressed me with all your medical talk back with Dr. Brack. I think you’re very good at what you do.”
“Why thank you, I try.” They stopped in front of the elevators and Cam pressed the down button.
“I…” Liv started to say when a loud voice boomed down the hall.
“There you are! Where’s Sara?” Liv’s stomach turned over. She suddenly felt flushed and pulled at the neckline of her shirt in an effort to relieve the suffocating sensation enveloping her. She glanced at Cam as the elevator doors opened and resisted the temptation to escape the impending scene. Conflict always nauseated her, especially with Ron. The louder her got, the smaller she felt. She didn’t move or say anything. Ron, now inches from Liv’s face, narrowed his dark eyes as he lit into her.
“Answer me Liv. Focus! I’m talking to you!” He seemed oblivious to the fact that Cam stood next to her.
“I…” Liv stuttered caught off-guard by his sudden appearance. She knew she’d have to face his wrath sooner or later, but hope it’d be later. Much later. She’d hoped to have time to prepare herself for their inevitable confrontation, to rehearse the conversation so she could hold her own. Now, she’d have to wing it. Suddenly chilled, she rubbed her arms with her hands and crossed them in front of her body. She stepped away from the irate man into Cam. He protectively circled his arms around her.
“God dammit, Liv. Now isn’t the time to fall apart. Your flakiness is what got Sara here in the first place. I told you a hundred times, you can’t just let her play outside by herself, but you never listened to me did you? Turns out I was right as always.” Ron ranted as he pulled at his tie to loosen it and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his dress shirt. Liv stared at him as he ran his hand over his shaved head. What did I ever see in this man? His mouth was still moving, but she didn’t hear what he was saying.
"When did you…” Liv started to speak finally regaining her composure.
He cut her off before she could finish. “I called the cottage to set up a visit for next month. I wanted to talk Sara, and your grandmother told me she was in the hospital. Not that you’d bother to let me know my own daughter was hurt. I left on the next flight out. This is such bad timing. I was right in the middle of a huge deal. I can’t afford to take time off right now! This deal is likely to fall through now, all because you can’t be bothered to parent your daughter." Ron continued to raise his voice and people were staring. Liv closed her eyes, trying to block him out and transport herself somewhere else. Why is everything always about him? Does he even care about Sara?
“I got it Ron. You’re angry. Please, stop yelling. People are starting to stare. I’m sorry I didn’t call you right away, but you were on a business trip and I didn’t think…” Liv tried to defend herself.
“Isn’t that typical. You never do think do you? Let me guess? Did you have your head in a book again? Or were you texting one of your sisters? Can’t you pay attention to your own daughter for more than five minutes? You’re so selfish! You always were. I never could count on you for anything. You never bothered to be a good wife, why would being a good mother be any different?” He continued to berate Liv.
Finally, Cam couldn’t take it anymore. “Excuse me.” He stepped forward and stood between them.
“And another thing.”
“I said, excuse me.”
Ron finally acknowledged Cam’s presence. “Who’s this guy?”
“This is Cameron Preston. He’s an old friend from Lake of the Pines.” Liv took Cam’s hand. “Cam, as you might have already guessed, this is Ron Reynolds, Sara’s father.” Liv continued the introductions.
“Isn’t that grand, so what? You and lover-boy here shacked up and left poor Sara to fend for herself?”
Liv flushed. Guilt filled her. Little did he know how close to the truth he actually was.
“That’s enough!” Cam was close to decking the guy, but didn’t want to make a bigger scene than what was unfolding already.
“Is everything all right here?” a security guard asked.
“Yes, sir, everything is fine,” Liv answered with a quiet calmness, “Sorry we caused such a commotion.” She turned back to Ron. “Sara is in room 225. You should be able to go in and see her now. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”
“Fine,” Ron answered flatly. “That’s what I wanted to know in the first place.” The elevator doors opened and he stepped inside. He punched at the “two” button several times and the doors closed.
“Are you okay?” Cam could tell Liv was shaken.
“Yeah I’m okay I don’t have much of an appetite anymore, though.”
“Me either.”
“I’m sorry you had to hear all that.” Liv was clearly embarrassed.
“I’m sorry you did too. Promise you won’t let what he said get to you. You know it was garbage.”
“I know,” Liv sighed, “but he does have a point, though. I was being selfish. I should be concentrating on Sara and not some fairytale fantasy.”
Cam felt like someone had stabbed him with a knife. “Fairytale fantasy?” His brows furrowed in confusion. “I hope you aren’t implying that we’re a fantasy. This is real. I know you feel it too. Everyone has a right to be happy and it doesn’t make you selfish to want it.” He tried to keep the hurt and anger out of his voice.
“We’ll keep in touch this time.” Liv didn’t m
ake eye contact with him. “It’s not like we won’t see each other again like before. But, we have separate lives. You live in Chicago and I’m in Ohio. It would’ve come to this at the end of the summer anyway. It’s just a little sooner than we’d hoped.” Liv rationalized hurting him.
“Don’t do this Liv. Don’t walk away. We just found each other again. You haven’t given us enough of a chance yet. You don’t have to sacrifice your happiness to be a good mom.”
“I just need a little space right now, Cam. Everything is happening so fast. I’m confused. I need time to think.” Liv felt like vomiting. She swallowed hard and tapped down the panic rising in her. She concentrated on Cam’s face and the words he was speaking to her. God, I love him so much, she thought. He deserves so much better than a crazy woman with an overbearing ex-husband.
“Just promise you won’t make any decisions about us tonight. It’s been a long day and you’re upset. Don’t let Ron taint what we have. He said those things to hurt you, not because they’re true.”
“I know in my head that you’re right. I shouldn’t let Ron influence my decisions, but sometimes it’s so hard. His words circle around in my mind and make me crazy. I just need to work things out in my head.” The urge to escape grew stronger, but she resisted.
“I understand, Liv. Really, I do. Just please promise not to make any decisions until you’ve had a chance to sleep and put everything that’s happened into perspective.”
Liv nodded. “I promise I won’t make any decisions tonight.” She said the words aloud, but in her heart she’d already made her decision.
“Do you want me to go?”
“I think that’d be best for now. I don’t want Ron to make a scene in front of Sara.”
“No, that wouldn’t be good for Sara.”
“Thanks, Cam.” Liv rushed into his arms and gave him one final embrace. The elevator doors opened and she escaped inside just before they closed again. Cam stood staring at the closed doors a few moments longer. He had a sick feeling he’d just lost the woman of his dreams. Again.
Chapter Eleven
I just need a little space right now, Cam. Everything is happening so fast. I’m confused. I need time to think. Liv’s words echoed in Cam’s head all night and into the morning. Okay, he thought. I can give her space, but I don’t know for how long. The clock read 7:15. This was the longest he’d lain in bed in years, yet he couldn’t bring himself to get up. He rolled over and closed his eyes. A cupboard in the kitchen opened and shut. The microwave hummed and the scent of coffee brewing made him realize he was hungry. Cam sat up and stretched. His body ached everywhere, but that was nothing compared to the ache in his heart. He hoped Liv would realize being with him and being a good mother were not exclusive. She could have both. If only, she’d let him show her. How could he do that and give her space at the same time, he asked himself. He shook his head and got out of bed. Pulling on a pair of old jeans, he headed to the kitchen.