“I know. What would the dolphins think?”
A slow smile hitched one corner of her lips. “The dolphins work in another department.”
“See? No harm, no foul. And trust me, Jake doesn’t hate or even mildly dislike you.”
“And you know this how?”
“It’s a brother’s bond, Sam. He wouldn’t hate you because he knows how important you are to me. And stop worrying. That was Jake’s ‘like’ face.”
Sam wasn’t convinced.
I reached for her hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
She didn’t budge.
I eyeballed her. “Just take it, Sam. We both know you’re coming with me.”
“You’re very confident for a guy I’m still considering kicking in the nuts.”
Feisty Sam was my favorite kind. I thrust my hand out again and gave it an impatient wave. She sighed before grabbing it.
“Thank you.” I smirked.
“You’re welcome,” she said, and then paused before adding, “… asshole.”
We walked hand in hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The closeness was just there. Was it really possible to pick up where we left off? The way I was feeling now, I was pretty sure it was.
“Where are we going?” she asked, as we exited the backstage area.
“To your place.”
“To my place? Why can’t we go to your place?”
“Because my place comes with mandatory meal time, regular showers, and curfews – but I don’t have to be home until 11:00 pm, so we’re good.”
Those eyes of hers were popping once more. “You still live with your parents?”
“Not still… I moved back in after rehab. And I was kidding about the curfew.”
“I got that. What about meal time and showers?”
“No. My mom’s militant about that shit.”
Sam shook her head, fake cringing. “You know, Keith, on paper, you don’t look like much of a catch.”
I nodded, laughing. “I’m not much of a catch off paper either.”
* * *
Conversation halted as we wove our way through the parking lot. I sensed a change in her demeanor, and as I glanced down at her, I noticed the tears glistening in her eyes. Now that we weren’t volleying quips back and forth, Sam had the time to reflect on my betrayal. Dammit, an explanation about her necklace should have been the first thing out of my mouth. I knew she’d noticed it was missing out in the crowd when we first kissed, but I’d ambushed her with it when Jake unknowingly flashed her the evidence.
“You all right?” I asked, kissing the top of her head.
Sam’s bottom lip quivered, and she put on a brave face to nod her reply.
I held open the car door, for her but she didn’t get in. My thumb swiped across the trail of tears on her cheek.
“Look, Sam, let me explain…”
“You gave my grandfather’s stone to your brother?” she asked. Instead of being filled with anger, though, her voice was shaky and steeped in disbelief, as if the gravity of what I’d done was finally sinking in.
“I… it’s complicated.”
Sam laid her head against my chest and rewarded me with a warm, rich embrace. The sudden turn of events confused me, and I scrambled to catch up.
“You’re not mad?”
“No. I’m crying because I’m touched. I’m happy. I’m… I don’t know what I am. But I think what you did was a beautiful thing.”
Relief swept through me. Years ago when I’d gifted it to Jake, I’d felt fairly certain she would approve, seeing that she’d done the same for her brother. But the necklace had been intended for me, so there’d always been that nagging doubt. My hands wrapped around her waist and I pulled her in tight. “As soon as I read your letter, I put the necklace on. I wore it proudly; I did. And strangely enough, I did feel its power. I credit it with helping me through withdrawal. There were times I didn’t think I’d make it another second without a hit, but then I rubbed the stone like you used to do, and I swear it eased me through the rough patches. But…”
A sudden wave of emotion strangled my speech, just thinking about the time I’d found Jake in the closet with a baseball bat in hand, waiting for the ghost of his tormenter to come and finish him off. How could I not do everything in my power to help my little brother through? And so I gifted him the last thing I had left of my girl, telling him a pile of lies in an effort to make him believe the necklace had some special powers.
“But what?” she whispered, her grip on me tighter.
“But Jake needed it more than I did. It’s not the stone itself that holds the power. It’s the belief in it that does. You believed. I believed. I thought maybe Jake would too.”
“Obviously he does if he still wears it.”
“I think he does. We never talk about it. Here’s the thing, Sam. He doesn’t know it was yours. Jake never would have accepted it if he knew it was a gift you’d given me. That’s why I silenced you back there.”
“Where did you tell him it came from?”
“I told him a story about me being on the top of a cliff, flying high, inching closer to the edge. I said I was considering ending it all until I saw a flash of silver in the weeds. The sun was hitting it just right and it shone like a gift from the heavens. I told him the second I picked it up, I felt better; stronger. And once I put it on, I knew I was safe. You should have seen his eyes, Sam. He wanted to believe so bad. He needed some sort of hope to hold onto. So I took it off my neck and clasped it around his. He’s worn it every day since.”
She nodded, her hand grazing my skin. “Was it true?”
“Um… obviously not. You gave me the necklace.”
“No, Keith, the story about you on the cliff edge.”
My chest tightened as I looked away, not wanting to admit the truth. I still remembered her voice in my head, talking me off the ledge. She’d saved me that day, and no amount of physical evidence could convince me otherwise.
“Yes. That part was true.”
The horror in her eyes was not lost on me. Sam knew all too well what happened to people teetering on the verge of no return. “And what made you walk away?”
I sought her out, my eyes connecting to hers in a way they’d never done with any woman before or after her. Time could not erase these feelings. I still loved her with all the intensity I’d had when I was still a screwed-up teen.
“You did, Sam.”
* * *
She lay her head back against my chest, my arms wrapped around her like a shield in battle. The desire to protect her from life’s tribulations was innate and stronger than any defensive weapon man could imagine. This woman had walked this world without my steely protection long enough, and now it was time for her to rest, knowing I had her back. And her front and every other part of her that required safeguarding.
The recognition that she was safe and loved was realized in every action she took while entrenched in my embrace – the kisses to my neck, the lazy trails she traced on my arms, the hum of her happiness encouraging my heart to skip a few beats. Sam angled her head, eyes half open as her sweet lips strained for mine. I dropped my head, my hair falling down between us. Sam swept it aside and pressed fluttery kisses along my jaw. I brushed a mellow kiss across her cheek.
It was as if the two of us were in slow motion, bathed in soft sepia tones. There was no need to rush. No need to prove ourselves. This was why I’d battled my way back from the brink… for her. For this. Sam had always made me better. If I didn’t have a reason before to be the best version of myself, I sure as hell did now.
“Keith?” she whispered, and I could feel a shiver race through her body.
I drew her in, pressing my heated skin against hers to tame her trembling. “Yeah?”
“Let me be enough for you this time.”
A lump instantly formed in my throat. I hated that she felt somehow responsible when our six-year absence was all on me. I was the one who’d chosen w
rong time and time again. I was the one who’d put the distance between us – the one who hadn’t fought to close the widening gap. The demons I’d wrestled were mine alone, cultivated over the years by an insecurity that had clung to me like a shy toddler. Sam had been the one shining light in a life filled with self-loathing. And I’d thrown that away.
“You were always enough, Sam.”
“Then why did you leave me?”
“Because I wasn’t enough.”
29
Samantha: At Long Last
“What are you thinking?” Keith asked, as his fingers tiptoed over my breasts. Moments earlier he’d amazed me with his one–handed bra extraction method, and now I was the beneficiary of his skills with miniaturized clasps.
I was in a state of quivers as I gazed into his handsome face. Oh, I doubted he really wanted to know what I was thinking. I love you. Those three words weren’t typically what a guy wanted to hear right out of the gate. If the goal was to keep him in my life, hell, to keep him in the same state as me, then I needed to play this smart. Be cool. No declarations of love until I had him cornered and trapped like a lovesick animal. Only then would I pounce.
Affecting my sexiest smile, I pushed his face away playfully. If I couldn’t confess my true feelings, I could at least work him up into a frenzy of lust. But Keith turned the tables on me, grabbing my dismissive hand and pinning it to the bed.
“Who do you think you are?” he asked, the hum of anticipation in his voice. He was being playful, but there was something more. Keith carried himself differently than I remembered. He was stronger and more powerful. Suddenly I wondered if it would be me quivering in a corner.
“I’m the woman who’s going to take you over the edge.” It was the right response, judging by the guttural sound from Keith’s throat as he glided his tongue through the valley between my breasts. I gasped, tangling my fingers into his hair, not letting him up until that torturous tongue was giving me a proper lashing.
“What are you thinking?” he repeated.
“I was thinking…” I paused, moaning as my own hands found the playground that was his steely abdomen, littered with dips and swells. I shuddered at the thought of those muscles working in unison to transport me into rapturous bliss. “…that I like this new you.”
He listed his head, a grin sweeping across his face. “Body or soul?”
“Less talk, bud. I just want your body.”
He laughed, now leaning over me and tracing wet circles over my nipples. “I like shallow Samantha.”
My breath hitched as I grabbed a wad of sheets in my fingers and heaved into his touch. “Yes,” I panted. “Shallow.”
Grabbing the hem of his t-shirt, I pulled it up and over his head, my tongue instantly on his bare skin and exploring what was at once familiar, but also unbelievably foreign to the touch. He’d left me a boy and come home a man.
I thrilled at the taste of him. His skin, though no longer dipped in the salty ocean, still had an earthy flavor. Mixed with the sex oozing from his pores and I was tipping into stalker territory. I raked my nails over his stomach, eager to mark him as my own.
While I was preoccupied by his Adonis-like torso, Keith had taken to kissing his way along my collarbone, the soft touch of his lips flittering across my skin as if he were painting on a canvas. Heat rose up through me, and I pulled him down on top of me with a force that surprised us both. Breathy with desire, I teased out each word. “I need you.”
Keith panted into my neck as my body opened to him. I knew he’d feel good. I remembered the feeling of him deep inside, pushing me to my limits. That had always been Keith, my surfer boy taking me places I’d never gone before. He’d cracked me open, body and soul. Then, when I was lying vulnerable and for the taking, he’d put me back together, piece by agonizing piece, until I was stronger and braver than before. Everything I was today, the lengths I’d come, had his handprint all over it.
“God, Sam. I can’t believe we’re back,” he said, puffing the words out with ecstasy accentuating his words. He wanted me as much as I wanted him. It was a powerful connection, one that had tethered us through the years. I couldn’t imagine ever wanting another man the way I wanted Keith. It was beyond just the physical. We were bound by something stronger.
“I never left. It’s always been you.” I spoke softly into his ear as I draped my legs around his waist to let him know I was here, and eager. God, how I still craved him, every punishing inch.
The weight of his body pressed me flat to the mattress, and I could feel the power of him, sending a thrill of warmth and wetness pulsing through me. Gripping his back, I marveled at the changes his body had gone through since we’d last been intimate. Keith had not only grown broader through his back and shoulders but also taller. Where we’d once been near equals in length, he now surpassed me by several inches. And those wide shoulders tapered down into a lean waist. He was Keith, yes, but this was the upgraded model. I could only imagine how many women had lain beneath him as I did now. Had any of them meant something to him?
I gasped as he entered, the thrill of him rippling through my core and radiating out to my extremities as he filled me. Pulsing to his beat, I moved with him, the two of us in perfect harmony. He swelled inside and I screamed out, not concerned about the rapt audience I was certain was on the other side of the wall. I’d gone somewhere else in my mind, the place only Keith could take me, and I didn’t care who knew. I just needed more of him.
Arching my back, I met his fury, both of us grunting and groaning as if we were rutting in the wilds. Pumping faster, he dug his fingers into my hips, the pain blending into pleasure with every punishing thrust. He was reaching places inside me that had long been neglected, and my spot pulsed as it neared release. My shaky breaths combined with his throaty grunts. We’d both crossed over into another realm where pleasure ruled.
“Oh, God,” I moaned, surprising myself by the speed with which I was losing control. Keith released one hand from my hip and slid it down to the place where our bodies merged as one. My body constricted, pulsing in anticipation. Keith had already groomed me. I was ready for him to take me somewhere else. His touch was barely more than a whisper. No. I needed more. Curving into him, my body pleaded for more. His fingers were teasing me, not enough to set me off but enough to keep me on the edge of ecstasy. Keith grunted loud and wild, pulling out.
“Sam.” His voice was hoarse yet frenzied in its need.
I grabbed his ass, imploring for him to come back to me – to finish me off. Every nerve in my body was on high alert, quivering with the promise of what was to come. He pushed back in, the entire length of him and, at the same instant his thumb pressed deeper into my center. I shuddered, my toes curling and my head lolling back and then, against the backdrop of his unrelenting drive, I exploded into waves of euphoria. Keith silenced my cries with his mouth and I probed him deep, still riding the rapturous surge. And then he paused, every muscle in his body constricting in the seconds before he shuddered and groaned. I wrapped my arms around him, thrilling in this moment with him. This was only the beginning. I could feel it. Keith and I were back.
30
Keith: Skimming The Waves
The kiss started at my lips but quickly traveled the landscape of my face. A smile crossed my lips before I even opened my eyes to a whole new day – hell, a whole new life, if she’d have me. My lids blinked open only to find beauty and happiness staring down at me. My smile widened. She brought a harmony to me that I’d nearly forgotten existed. Tangling my hands into her hair, I dragged her mouth to mine, and as the kiss built in intensity, her body, soft and firm, sank into me.
So many sleepless nights and now finally I could rest easy once more. The what-ifs were gone. Sam hadn’t moved on any more than I had. All that was left now was to build a life together with marriage, a house, a dog, and eventually kids. I wanted her in my arms, on my lips, till the end of days. And I saw no reason to wait.
Breaking the kis
s, I groaned. “Do you know what you do to me?”
She nestled against me, nuzzling my neck. “I make you happy.”
I thought about that a second, then tilted my head to kiss her forehead. “No, you make me cheer.”
I’d have pumped my fists in the air if it wouldn’t have made me look like a superficial frat boy. This feeling in my chest felt like a balloon that was about to burst. That build up and excitement – I never wanted the thrill to end. And it didn’t have to. Now that we were back, there was no reason to ever be apart again.
“Sam?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t freak out when I say this, but… I’m in love with you.”
Sam blinked me in with her pretty brown eyes, surprise evident in her reaction. I’d laid my heart on the line, only to hear static coming from the other end.
Suddenly I felt naked and vulnerable, and the words just fell from my mouth. “The truth is, Sam, I’ve never stopped loving you. I tried, but it just never worked. You were always on my mind, and any time I tried to get serious with a woman, I’d compare her to you, and… well, it was doomed to fail. You’re like an infection that lives inside me, and no matter what medicine I take, I can’t find a cure for you.”
Her nose crinkled as she considered my declaration of love, but there was no disguising the pleased smile spreading from ear to ear. “You know, Keith, you’re lucky I am a biologist. Not every girl would find it flattering to be compared to bacteria.”
“But the good kind of bacteria, like what’s in yogurt.”
“Ah.” She nodded. “That’s yummy.”
“I’m dying here, Sam. Say something.”
“Don’t die,” she whispered, gripping my jaw in her hand and kissing me. “You know I love you, Keith. I always have.”
I let out the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. “I’m not talking old friend kind of love. I’m talking the real deal shit.”
Rogue Wave: Cake Series Book Five Page 25