by Amber Garza
I know that Sonya doesn’t look ugly, but I appreciate the sentiment. Turning away from Tripp and Sonya, I smile at Paige. “Yeah. I'm sure she'll look super gross after sweating off all that makeup in the cramped gym.”
“True. The air conditioning hardly works in that place.” Paige shivers like the time I threw a worm at her. “And with all those people dancing, it’s gonna get pretty nasty.”
“Seriously. Thank goodness we avoided that whole scene.” I stalk toward the front door. After guiding Paige inside, I try to keep thoughts about the dance at bay.
TEN
TRIPP
“Tripp, c’mon, let’s get another picture,” Mom holds the camera up to her face, her eyes and nose vanishing behind it.
Sonya interlocks her arm in mine and pulls me close. The flash blinds me, and spots fill my vision. I stagger away from Sonya, pulling on the collar of my dress shirt. I can barely breathe in this thing, and I’m sweating like a pig.
“And let’s get one in front of the fireplace.” I haven’t seen Mom this giddy in a long time, but I’ve appeased her enough with the first twenty pictures.
“Mom,” I say. “I think we have enough pictures.”
“You will do as your mother says, son,” Dad’s voice bellows, and I stiffen.
“Yes, sir.” I obediently make my way over to Sonya, placing my hand on the small of her back. Then I guide her to the fireplace.
She leans into me with a sweet smile. “See, this isn’t so bad.”
Dad smiles at us from across the room, and it irritates me. Sonya has definitely put both my parents under her spell. But I suppose it’s not so bad. She’s doing me a favor, really. Dad’s happy that I’m dating the head cheerleader, and even Mom appears more relaxed than usual. Allowing myself to relieve a little tension, I pull Sonya closer and smile as Mom takes yet another shot.
“Okay, that’s enough, Mona,” Dad says to Mom. “Now let these kids get to their dance.”
Mom reluctantly drops her arm, holding the camera near her waist. “Okay. You two have fun,” she says to us.
“Oh, we will, Mrs. Bauer.” Sonya turns to me with a wink.
My stomach flips. Sonya has never looked hotter than at this moment. She’s wearing a short black strapless dress that shows off her cleavage and her impossibly long legs. I’m starting to think that maybe this night won’t be so bad after all. Visions of the stuffy school gym causes me to cringe. Maybe I can talk Sonya into ditching the dance and we can go make out all night somewhere.
As Sonya pulls on my arm, her wrist corsage catches on the cuffs of my jacket, an abrasive reminder that Sonya will never go for my alternate plan. Sonya doesn’t do anything without an audience. No, I’m pretty sure going with me to the dance was a strategic move on her part.
“It was so nice to meet you, Mr. Bauer.” Sonya flutters her eyelashes.
“You too, pretty lady,” Dad responds. “Have fun, you two.”
Feeling sickened, I nod and grab Sonya’s hand. Mom follows behind us as we walk outside. The flash looks like a strobe light against the inky black sky as Mom fires off a couple more pictures. Wanting to get the hell out of here, I keep pulling Sonya toward my car. When I open the passenger door and guide her inside, my head bobs up and I spot Hadley and her friend in the driveway a few houses down. I’m just about to wave at her, but then think better of it. After closing the passenger door, I make my way around the vehicle and slide inside.
“Your parents are so nice,” Sonya says.
“Yeah,” I lie. If only she knew the truth.
I back down the driveway, Mom and Dad still watching us. Once I'm on the street, I turn my car so that Mom and Dad are just tiny figures in my rearview mirror. Only then do I allow myself to breathe.
“I’m so excited for the dance. I can’t wait until Molly and Trista see me in my dress. They are totally gonna die. Last week we were all shopping at the mall and we saw a dress just like this one, and oh, my god, they were totally drooling over it.”
As Sonya drones on about things I care nothing about, I glance over at Hadley’s house. She and her friend have already gone inside. I wonder what they’re doing tonight. Maybe watching a movie and eating popcorn and candy. Jealousy surfaces at the thought. I can’t remember the last time I did whatever I wanted on a Saturday night.
“Tripp, are you even listening to me?” Sonya’s voice cuts into my thoughts.
“Um…yeah.” I scratch the back of my neck, and then turn the corner.
“Then what do you think?”
About what? “Um…I think it’s great,” I say, hoping this is the right response.
“Yay. I’m so glad.” She smiles, patting down her large curls.
Her cheery response causes me to wonder what I just agreed to. I’ve got to pay more attention tonight. Even as I think it, my mind starts wandering back to Hadley. I don’t know what it is about that girl, but for some reason I can’t stop thinking about her.
The parking lot is more crowded than I thought it would be when we pull into the school. My tires crunch on the gravel as I park. When I turn off the engine, Sonya lets out a squeal that causes me to flinch.
“There is Molly and Trista! Hurry up. I wanna catch up to them!” Sonya grabs my arm, her fake nails poking me.
My skin crawls with irritation, but I force a cordial smile. I retract her fingers, and then step out of the car. Sonya waits like a patient little princess for me to open her door and help her out. Latching onto my arm, she hobbles forward in her stilettos. A slight breeze kicks up, causing her perfume to swirl into my face. I cough.
“Molly! Trista!” She hollers, and her shrill voice pierces my ears.
Her friends twirl around and squeal too. They abandon their dates and come rushing toward us.
“Oh, my gosh, you look amazing!” Trista gushes.
“I love your dress, Sonya,” Molly offers.
Sonya smiles, drinking in the compliments, but doesn’t offer any back. I nod at Toby and start to walk toward him, grateful for a minute away from all the girls. But Sonya holds on tightly, not allowing me to leave her side.
“Come on, Tripp. It’s time to make our big entrance.” She gruffly drags me toward the gym, her heels clicking on the pavement.
I didn’t realize we were supposed to make a big entrance. As I allow Sonya to guide me forward, I feel like a freaking show pony. I’m clearly only here as some sidekick in the Sonya show. Wishing for the umpteenth time that I never asked her to this stupid dance, I follow her inside. The gym is dimly lit with crepe paper strewn crudely from the ceiling. A DJ stands in the corner playing music that is so before our time, while couples dance in the middle of the gym.
Sonya’s friends skitter in behind us, laughing and chatting. I wonder if Toby is as annoyed with the whole scene as I am.
“Hey, you made it.” Mav comes up behind me, his date Lauren by his side. She wears a floor length black dress that swims around her feet as she walks, giving the impression that she’s floating. Mav leans over and whispers in my ear, “So, did Sonya tell you about the party afterward? My older brother was able to get a keg and everything.”
That must be what Sonya was talking about in the car while I was tuning her out. I shake my head. “Nah, man, I can’t make it. Gotta be home by curfew.”
“What? C’mon, you’re always such a party pooper,” Sonya interrupts our conversation. She sticks out her lips in a pout. “When I told you about it in the car you said that you wanted to go.”
“I’m sorry, but the old man’ll kill me,” I say with a laugh. Only the truth is, I’m not joking.
“But I wanna go.” Sonya casts her eyes downward.
Seriously, does she think her little whiny act is going to work?
“If daddy’s boy here won’t take you, I will.” Mav winks at Sonya. I glance at his date, feeling sorry for her. Her face drains of color as she takes in the exchange. Way to go, Mav.
Sonya notices too, but it only seems to buoy her m
ood. “I’d love that.” She turns to me, her lips pursed. “You don’t mind, do you, Tripp.”
“No, it’s fine. Whatever.” I can’t keep the venom out of my voice.
“Don’t be jealous. You still have me all to yourself right now.” Yanking on my arm, she draws me to her. “Dance with me.”
I want to tell her that I’m not jealous. I want to tell her that I’m happy to unload her on Mav, because I don’t want to be here with her anyway. But I don’t. Instead, I wrap my arms around her waist and allow her to rest her head against my chest. Her fingers dance up my chest and rest on my shoulders. It’s a slow song, and Sonya moves sensually to the music, pressing her waist into me. Despite my best efforts, she succeeds in turning me on. When she lifts her head to peer up at me, I want to kiss her. So I lower my face, pressing my lips against hers. Her chalky lipstick sticks to my lips and tastes like soap. My mind wanders to the sweet smell of Hadley’s watermelon gloss. Imagining that she’s in my arms, I kiss back with vigor. However, I know it’s not her, and pretty soon I’m sickened by the whole thing. I pull away from Sonya, and she immediately wipes her mouth with her hand.
Watching her, I realize that no matter how hard I try to like her, she’ll never be the one. None of these girls here are. But I have a feeling that the right one is closer than I ever imagined.
ELEVEN
HADLEY
On Monday everyone wants to share their experiences from the dance every chance they get. There's absolutely nowhere I can go to hide from the stories. It was bad enough that my Facebook newsfeed was assaulted with dance pictures all weekend, but now I have to hear about it at school. I’m more than grateful when the final bell rings and Paige and I race out to her car.
“It’s pretty sad that no one has anything real going for them besides a silly dance, huh?” Paige says as she turns the key in the ignition.
“Yeah.” I lean my head against the seat, allowing a long stream of air to flow past my lips. I don’t have the energy to come up with something witty back. The truth is, I don’t know what big things Paige and I have going for us at the moment.
Paige must sense my darkening mood, because she keeps quiet as she pulls out of the parking lot. She cranks up the radio and a loud hip hop beat fills the car. I savor the feeling of the beat under my body and the rumbling of tires on the asphalt. It dulls my senses and lulls me into quiet oblivion. The drive home is a short one and before I know it Paige is pulling up in front of Rob’s house. I wonder if I’ll ever feel like it’s mine. It still feels like we’re just guests in someone else’s home.
“Thanks, Paige.” I reach for the door handle. “Mom says I can use the car tomorrow, so you’re off the hook.”
“Okay. Let me know if anything changes.”
After stepping on the curb, I close the door. Paige waves before driving off, her minivan barreling down the road in jerky motions. It's a wonder she's still alive. When I reach the front door it springs open and Ainsley bolts out, Adam at her heels. Looks like they’re back.
“Leelee,” Ainsley squeals.
“It’s Hadley,” I enunciate loudly.
“Hadley, she’s two,” Mom chastises me, following behind Ainsley.
“Still. Shouldn’t we be teaching her how to speak properly?” I place a hand on my hip.
“Whatever.” Mom sighs, the tiredness on her face more pronounced than usual. “Can you just watch Ainsley and Adam outside for a few minutes? I’m trying to mop the floor in the kitchen, and they want to play outside while the weather’s nice.”
Rob is having the backyard re-landscaped, so the kids aren’t allowed to play in the back yard right now. And with the weather being so bad lately, they've been going stir crazy. However, it isn’t really my responsibility to keep them busy.
“Mom,” I moan. “I have homework.”
“Well, do it out here.” Mom gives me a pleading look. “Please, Hadley? Just a few minutes?”
“Fine.” I turn to the Ainsley and Adam while Mom heads back inside. “But you two need to stay right here.” I walk to the front lawn and plop down on the soft grass. Adam drops to his knees on the driveway, pushing around a toy car. He always has one in his hand. Ainsley pushes a ball across the grass. Satisfied that they’re busy, I fish inside my backpack to find my math book. Math is my least favorite subject, so that’s why I work so hard on it. In order to cling to the hope that my best years are ahead of me, I have to get good grades. I plan to get into college and move far away from here – to a place where no one knows me and I can start fresh. After opening the heavy book, I lay it over my lap. I do a few problems to the soundtrack of Adam’s car noises. When I glance up, my stomach drops. Where is Ainsley?
“Adam,” I call out.
The little boy looks up at me, his eyebrows raised.
“Where is your sister?”
“Don’t know.” He shrugs, and then goes back to pushing his car.
My gaze sweeps the street, but I don’t see her anywhere. Crap. I shove the book off my lap and hop up. “Adam, c’mon.” I hold out my hand. “Let’s go look for her.” To my surprise he listens, standing up and tucking his tiny hand in mine. It's sticky and sweaty, but surprisingly I'm not totally grossed out. I guess I am getting used to them. Before leaving the front yard I glance back at the house and I’m grateful that Mom isn’t watching through the window. I don’t want to admit to her that I lost one of Rob’s kids. Ainsley couldn’t have gotten very far, could she?
I drag Adam down the sidewalk, keeping my eyes peeled. “Ainsley!” I call out, one hand cupped around my mouth. This is the reason I never wanted younger siblings. This is way too much work.
I’m almost to Tripp’s house when I hear footsteps coming down his walkway. “Lose something?”
Tripp struts out from behind the fence, Ainsley dangling from his arms. I heave a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God.”
He deposits Ainsley on the ground in front of me.
“I told you to stay in the front yard,” I scold her.
“So you were babysitting, huh?” Tripp’s face holds an amused expression.
I nod, biting my lip. “Man, my mom’s gonna kill me.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t say anything.” He winks. “You’re secret is safe with me.”
“Thanks,” I say, and I genuinely mean it. “I just can’t believe she was able to run off so fast. I only looked away for a few minutes.”
“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Tripp says, mussing Ainsley’s hair with his hand. “She’s fine. Besides, Ainsley’s been here before, haven’t you?”
Ainsley smiles up at Tripp and I marvel at how even a two year old is smitten with him. “Well, I better get back before Mom notices us missing.” I reach for Ainsley’s hand, but she pulls away from me.
“Here.” Tripp sweeps her up into his arms and she squeals with delight. “I’ll help you get her back.”
I want to tell him that he doesn’t need to help me. Only I do actually desire help right now. I don’t feel like chasing Ainsley through the streets, and Tripp does have a handle on things. While Tripp walks beside me holding Ainsley, her little chubby legs kicking in the air, I pull Adam by the arm. Tripp’s woodsy scent wafts under my nose, causing my heart to flip in my chest. Last year I had one class with Tripp, and I remember smelling him through the whole period, fantasizing about being in his arms. I blush at the memory, glad that Tripp can’t read my mind.
“So, you were right, you know,” Tripp says, breaking through the silence.
“About what?”
“About the dance being lame.”
I give him a sidelong glance to try to figure out if he’s messing with me. “You and Sonya looked pretty cozy from my vantage point.”
“You saw us?” He cocks an eyebrow, and I feel like an idiot.
“No, I mean…well…yeah, but only because I came outside to help Paige carry in her overnight bag when she came over.”
Tripp nods. “I bet you two had more fun th
an we did.”
“I thought you liked dances.”
“I never said I liked them.” He smiles at me. We reach my house and he drops Ainsley in the grass. I release Adam’s hand, and he resumes playing with his car.
“Then why did you go?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the kids.
He shrugs. “The same reason I do most things. It’s expected.”
Before I can ask what he means by that, Mom peeks outside. I hold my breath, wondering if she noticed we were gone earlier. “Hey.” She smiles calmly, and I surmise that this is the first time she’s checked on us. Her gaze lands on Tripp, and her smile deepens. She pushes away from the door and walks toward us. “You must be Tripp.”
My cheeks warm, and I stare hard at my feet.
“And you must be Mrs. Summers.” He holds out his hand.
“It’s actually Mrs. Haywood now, but you can call me Jenny.” I cringe at how nice Mom is being. It’s obvious that she thinks there is something going on with Tripp and me. “Are you staying for dinner, Tripp?”
I shake my head furiously at her from behind Tripp’s back, but she ignores me.
“I’d love to.” Tripp grins at her.
“Great. I’ll set another place.” Mom nods and turns around.
I glare at her back as she scurries back inside. When Tripp turns to me, I shake my head. “You don’t have to stay. If you need to head home, she’ll understand.”
Tripp shrugs. “My parents are gone for the evening. A home cooked meal with your family beats a TV dinner by myself.”
My insides coil into tiny knots. Is Tripp really going to eat dinner with us? This is something I never thought would happen. I marvel about how much I’ve fantasized about this exact thing happening. However, now that it is, I just feel sick. I stare at him, trying to figure out why he’s being so nice to me.
“Leelee!” Ainsley squeals heading in my direction. She has Adam’s toy truck in her fist, and he’s fast approaching her. I know that any minute he will tackle her to the ground and pummel her. So I scoop her up.