by Amber Garza
“Who did this to you?”
“My dad,” I choke out.
“Tripp?” Her eyes find mine. “Why? How? I don’t understand.”
“My dad wants me to be like him. He thinks he can beat his ideals into me, I guess. Things used to not be as bad. But when my brother left, it got so much worse.”
Her hands stop moving. “Your brother? I didn’t know you had a brother.”
“Trevor’s five years older than me. He’s a very talented musician. He plays the saxophone. Not a manly instrument like the drums, so my dad never approved. Only Trevor isn’t athletic at all. No matter how hard my dad tried, he couldn’t make him into what he wanted. The minute Trevor turned eighteen he moved out, and we haven’t seen him since.”
“Are you sure he’s okay?”
I nod. “I found out recently that my mom’s been talking to him in secret.”
“Tripp, you can’t let this continue. We’ve got to get you out of here.”
I snatch up one of her hands and run my lips over her knuckles. “My mom told me this morning that she’s leaving my dad. That’s why I was acting so strange today. I’ve been worried about her. She’s meeting with an attorney tonight.”
A look of relief sweeps over Hadley’s face. “Oh, thank God. I can’t stand the thought of you staying here another minute.”
“This doesn’t scare you away?”
She slides her hands up my chest and cups my face. “Not at all.”
“I love you, Hadley.”
Her eyes widen. “I love you too, Tripp.”
I circle my arms around her waist and pull her to me. “Really? You mean it?”
“With all my heart.”
“So we’re not over?”
“No, we’re not.” She smiles.
I crush her to me, enjoying the feeling of her in my arms. Her hands rake up my back and stroke my neck. Her chest is pressed against me and her heartbeat mingles with mine as if we are one person. I bury my face in her hair and inhale her sweet scent.
“My dad told me I couldn’t see you anymore, but I just couldn’t stop. Even when he ripped up your picture.” She stiffens in my arms.
“Your dad did that?” Hadley pushes away from me. “Tripp, I don’t want to be the reason your dad hurts you. Am I the reason you got in a fight with Mav too?”
“You heard about that, huh?” I feel weary, so I walk around Hadley and perch on the edge of my bed. “Let me guess. Sonya told you.”
She nods, moving over to join me. The bed slopes with her weight as she sits down.
“Hadley, you’re the first person I’ve trusted like this. You’re the first person who’s made me feel safe. I don’t care what my dad does or even the guys on the football team for that matter.”
“I do though, Tripp.” She reaches out, her fingers skimming one of my bruises. “God, Tripp, I can’t stand the thought of someone hurting you like this.”
I cover my hand with hers. “You make it better, Hadley. My dad won’t stop hitting me, and the guys on the team won’t stop being jerks. All that I can live with. But I can’t live without you.” Tucking my finger under her chin, I force her to look at me. “Please promise me you won’t leave me. I need you.”
She smiles. “I need you too, Tripp.”
“You’re the first person I’ve ever showed my scars to. I’ve always been scared that if I showed anyone they would be disgusted by me. But you’re different, Hadley. I’ve always known that.”
“Your scars don’t disgust me, Tripp. They make me sad for you, but they don’t change the way I feel about you. If anything they make me realize just how strong you really are.”
“Strong? How does the fact that I let my dad use me as a punching bag make me strong? I’m a coward, Hadley.”
“No.” She shakes her head vigorously. “You’re not a coward, Tripp. Your dad’s the coward. Please don’t ever say that about yourself.”
“You promise you’re not grossed out by my bruises?” I ask, needing to know.
“Not at all.” Hadley scoots forward, tracing her fingers up my chest. Her mouth finds mine and she takes command of it, her lips pressing down firmly. I feel her fingers sliding over my stomach and chest, and it feels amazing. She crawls over the top of me and I lay backward, my head resting on the bed. Her lips leave my mouth, trailing down my neck. Surprised by her actions, my breath comes out in shallow gasps. She gently caresses the soft skin of my neck and then travels down to my chest. Softly, she presses her mouth against my bruises one at a time. It’s not sexual exactly. More like the way a mom would kiss away a child’s boo-boo. Still, it’s the most intimate experience of my entire life.
“Hadley.” I reach for her, dropping my hand on her head. “Thank you.”
She peers up at me, her hair falling around her shoulders. “I wish I could take them all away.”
I motion her forward, and she scoots up to me until her head is resting on my shoulder. Her hair splays across me, and I roll it between my fingers. “You did take it away, Hadley. In this moment I can honestly say I feel no pain.” I kiss the top of her head, wrapping my arms around her. With her beside me, I feel happier than I’ve ever been.
TWENTY-NINE
HADLEY
Tripp’s fingers prance along my scalp, tickling my flesh. His other hand curls around my waist. Our legs are intertwined as we lay on his bed, and I savor the feeling of being so close to him. His foot bumps mine, drawing my attention to it. I glance down spotting the edge of the picture he drew me.
“I still can’t believe you’re such a good artist.” I trace the flesh of his arm with my finger. Rolling my head to the side, my gaze lands on his dresser. I'm shocked that the pictures Sonya gave him are propped up on top. I freeze. "You kept those pictures I drew of you. Why?"
"I love them, Hadley."
"Really? I was so embarrassed when Sonya gave them to you. I thought you would be scared of me. Like I was some crazy stalker or something."
"No, I didn't think that at all." Tripp smiles. "I was touched that you drew me. Besides, you made me look even better than I actually do."
"Not possible," I nestle into him, wishing that I never had to move from this spot. I could spend the rest of my life happily here in the crook of his arm.
“It’s amazing how alike we are, Hadley.”
“We do have a lot in common,” I agree.
“It’s like I’ve found my other piece. The one that fits perfectly.” He squeezes my shoulders, his lips brushing my forehead. “I feel sorry for those people who search their whole life and never find their perfect fit.”
Warmth fills me at his words. “I know what you mean. Until you came into my life, I thought I would be one of those people. I was sure that I was destined to spend my life alone.”
“That could never happen. You’re my soulmate, Hadley. We would’ve found our way to each other. I’m sure of it.”
I lift my head to look at him. “Do you really believe in soulmates?”
“I didn’t before, but now I do.”
Propping up on my elbows, I lower my head until my lips feather over his. I wonder if I’ll ever tire of kissing Tripp. When his tongue finds mine, I’m sure that I won’t. Kissing Tripp is the most amazing experience of my life. I think about our conversation about roller coasters. I’m convinced that even a roller coaster couldn’t make my head spin or my stomach leap the way kissing Tripp does.
“I do not believe that you never kissed a guy before me. Not after that kiss,” Tripp speaks against my lips.
I smile. “Believe it. You’re the first.”
“Then you’re a fast learner, because no girl has ever kissed me quite like that.” He plays with my hair, causing goosebumps to appear on my arms and neck.
“I hope not.” I giggle. “This all feels so surreal, Tripp. I can hardly believe that just a couple of months ago I was feeling sorry for myself for not having a date to the dance.” The minute the words are out, I wish I could shove them ba
ck in.
Tripp’s eyebrows raise, and I want desperately to crawl underneath his bed and hide away. “Hadley, when you mentioned the dance earlier is that because you want to go?”
I bite my lip, and bob my head up and down slowly.
“Man, I feel like the biggest idiot. I was so consumed with my own problems I didn’t even catch on.” He grunts in frustration. “I’m the worst boyfriend ever.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Hadley.” He grabs my hand in his. “Will you go to the winter dance with me?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” I answer coyly with a slight flutter of my lashes.
“You know you do that whole sexy act a little too well.” He grabs me, crushing his lips to mine. As our tongues mesh together, I surrender myself completely to him and lose myself in the moment.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Paige says as we walk through the mall, passing the bright store windows.
“Come on. Who else am I supposed to ask?” I bump her with my hip. “You’re my best friend.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere my friend.” She winks.
“Oh, I beg to differ.” I chuckle. Up ahead I spot a dress store and I point to it. “Let’s try there.” Grabbing Paige’s hand, I drag her behind me.
When we enter the store, Paige scrunches up her nose. Racks of brightly colored gowns are scattered throughout the small room. “A store full of frilly dresses? So not my thing, Hads.”
“Lucky for you, you don’t have to wear one. I do. So, come on.”
“I thought you didn’t even like dances,” she whines. “Why are you even going?”
I fix her with an incredulous stare. “Are you kidding? You know the only reason I said I hated them was because I was never asked. I was just bitter, I guess. But now I’m with Tripp and I want to go to the dance with him.” I meander over to a rack and start perusing it, my fingertips brushing over the soft fabrics.
“You’re going to the winter ball with Tripp?” A nasally voice interrupts us.
I whirl around. Lauren, one of the cheerleaders from school stands next to a circular rack, several dresses draped over her arm.
“Well, he is her boyfriend,” Paige interjects, seeming to enjoy rubbing it in Lauren’s face.
“So I heard.” Lauren shakes her head as if in disbelief. “I guess we all assumed Tripp would come to his senses by now.”
“Don’t be mad at her just because Tripp’s never given you a second look,” Paige spouts off. As always, I’m impressed by her bravery and wit. I should be the one sticking up for myself, but instead I’m standing here with my lips pressed together as if they’ve been adhered with superglue.
“Whatever.” Lauren’s gaze roves my body. Then her eyes flicker to the rack I’d been looking through. “You might want to take a look at that rack over there. This one won’t have your size.”
Without saying a word, I head toward the rack she pointed out.
“Don’t let her talk to you like that,” Paige whispers harshly in my ear.
“She’s right, Paige. I’m fat. Everyone can see that.”
“You’re not fat, Hadley. You’re just not a stick like that girl.” Paige grabs me by the shoulders. “Don’t let her ruin this day for you, Hads. Tripp Bauer is taking you to the winter dance. And not just that, but he loves you. He thinks you’re perfect just like you are. And so do I.”
“Thanks, Paige.” I fling my arms around her neck. “What would I do without you?”
“I know, I know. I’m amazing. Now let go of me.” She pries my fingers off her neck and takes a step back. “Okay, let’s pick out some dresses fast. This place is making me break out in hives.”
THIRTY
TRIPP
“I wish you didn’t have to go back to practice,” Hadley says, her hands fluttering over my chest. She rests her back against the wall near the boy’s locker room. “What if the guys are still mad? I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“It’s been almost a week. Coach Russell called my dad and he insists I go back. I don’t have a choice.” I press my hands on either side of Hadley’s face and lean over her. After catching her lips in mine swiftly, I move back. I know she’s not comfortable making out at school in front of people, so I have to respect that. Only sometimes she’s so darn cute that it makes it difficult. “I love that you care though, Hadley.”
“Of course. I’ll always care about you, Tripp.”
“Man.” I drop my forehead to hers, and thread her fingers through mine. “I want to go home and spend all afternoon with you.”
“Then let’s do it.” As she speaks she emits that watermelon scent, driving me wild.
I groan, pushing off her. “I can’t risk it.”
“I wish your dad didn’t have this kind of hold on you.”
“Speaking of which, I have a surprise for you.” I smile, remembering my conversation with Mom earlier this morning.
Hadley flashes me a hesitant look. “You don’t have any more hidden talents I don’t know about, do you?”
“No. Nothing like that.” I peck her on the cheek. “I’ll pick you up after practice, okay?”
She nods, curiosity in her eyes. I swipe my finger over her cheek and then slip into the locker room. Even though I acted brave with Hadley, the reality is that I don’t want to go to football practice ever again. I know Mav is still pissed about our fight, and I don’t have any desire for round two.
“Look at who decided to show his face again,” Mav’s words crash over me. He stands against his locker, full football gear on.
I throw up my arms like I’m involved in a stick up. “I don’t want any trouble, man. I’m just here to play football.” Scouring the room, I keep my defenses up. If they all decide to jump me or something, I won’t go down without a fight. I clench and unclench my fists, trying to keep my palms dry.
“It’s cool. I shouldn’t have made fun of your girl.” Mav shrugs, and I’m a little shocked.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Coach Russell standing in the doorway, watching. He has his no-nonsense look and his arms are crossed over his chest. So clearly he had a little talk with Maverick. I shrug, deciding to take what I can get. At least I know that Mav won’t try anything with Coach around.
“Thanks, man.” I force a smile, and then head to my locker to get changed.
After practice I shower and change, and then head directly to Hadley’s. I’m so excited about the surprise I have to show her. Dad’s working late, so I don’t have to worry about seeing him tonight. I should be fast asleep by the time he gets home.
“So, where are we goin’?” Hadley asks the minute I turn on the car.
“What kind of surprise would it be if I just told you?” I tease, easing my car away from the curb.
“I hate waiting.” She sticks out her bottom lip in a pout.
“Patience is a virtue,” I spout off in mock condescension.
“So is kindness. And kindness would be telling me where we’re going.”
I reach over and squeeze her thigh through her jeans, causing her to let out a giggle. “Man, you’re persistent. But I’m not telling you so give it up.”
“I bet I could get you to tell me.” She leans over, brushing her lips against my neck.
I white knuckle the steering wheel to keep from swerving, my heart kick starting like the beginning of a drum solo. “You’re going to have to knock that off or we’ll both get killed before I can show you the surprise.”
“Point taken.” She moves away from me, settling back in her seat.
I’m grateful to be able to drive without distractions, but I do miss the feel of her lips on my neck. It’s definitely something I’d like to revisit later. Following the directions Mom gave me, I take a left turn at the light and continue forward.
“We’re right by my dad’s condo,” Hadley points out.
“Oh, really?” I ask. Finding my destination, I pull over. I stop once my car is hugging the
curb.
“My dad lives in this complex. Please tell me the surprise isn’t that we’re visiting my dad?”
Hadley hasn’t exactly come out and said it, but I get the feeling that her dad isn’t too happy about me dating his daughter. Not that I’m surprised, since he knows how screwed up I am. The problem is that he doesn’t really know why. I know that confidentiality doesn’t apply when abuse is involved, so I’ve never actually told him about my dad. Dr. Summers knows that my dad is hard on me, but not that he hits me. I hope one day I can prove to him that I’m worthy of his daughter.
“No. I didn’t even know your dad lived here. I actually wanted to show you where I’ll be living soon.” Even as I say the words, they don’t feel real to me.
Hadley turns to me, confused. “What do you mean?”
“My mom’s been setting money aside from her part time job at the library for awhile, behind my dad’s back. She finally had enough to rent an apartment, so she got one here.”
“Tripp, this is amazing.” Hadley throws her arms around my neck. “I’m so glad I won’t have to worry about you anymore.”
I wish I could feel as relieved as Hadley, but I can’t until Mom and I are safely away from Dad. As long as we’re still under the same roof, anything can happen. And even then I don’t know how safe we’ll be a few miles from his house. But I try not to think about that. Instead, I wrap my arms around Hadley, hugging her back. I let her excitement and relief wash over me, hoping it will rub off on me.
“When do you move in?” She asks the minute we separate. Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes bright.
“In a week. Mom’s planning to tell Dad this weekend.”
“Are you worried?” Concern is etched on Hadley’s beautiful features.
“A little.” The truth is that I’m a lot worried, but I don’t need to tell Hadley that. This weekend is the winter dance, and I know Hadley’s looking forward to it. I don’t want anything spoiling it for her. “But I’m sure it’ll be fine. And then Mom and I will be free.”