He turned around preparing to run until his sneakers smoked. However, when he did, he was met by three cop cars who had cut him off. The cops jumped out with their guns drawn.
“Freeze, motherfucker! Drop the gun and put your hands on your fucking head!”
He immediately dropped his weapon and threw his hands in the air as they ordered, and when he looked over his shoulder, Deets and Fats had gotten away.
Kim took her time getting dressed, not at all excited about the job she was about to do. She and Lizette had agreed to entertain some guys from Cali who Neli had set them up with about a week ago. They were on their way out heading back to the West and they wanted a full show at their hotel room.
Neli insisted that they were paid so Kim gladly accepted. She was in the bedroom of the suite putting on her leopard-print hot shorts and black bustier, wondering where the hell Lizette was. Although she was far from eager to see Lizette, she also wasn’t feeling being in this hotel room full of out-of-town niggas who she didn’t know. Although they were friends of Neli’s and they seemed cool, you just never knew with niggas. Especially when alcohol and pussy was involved . . . Fuck it, Kim thought. She was just ready to get it all over with. After another ten minutes, she figured she would just start without Lizette, shit, at least she could get some extra money.
She came out of the room and immediately took a liking to Bennie, the dude who Neli seemed to be the closest to. She briefly wondered if Neli was fucking him but then thought of Neli’s present condition; she wasn’t fucking nobody now.
Kim walked straight up to Bennie and grabbed his Corona, careful to wrap her lips completely around the bottle as she drank. Once she was sure that she had his attention, and everyone else’s, she put on a show all by her damn self. She danced and freaked, making more money from them than she usually made in a workweek. These dudes were paid. Thanks, Neli!
After she was done, she decided to chill out for a minute, there was no need to rush home. As far as she was concerned she had nothing to rush to, she had cut Blair off since the episode at the hotel. Well, she had slipped once a couple of days ago, but it was different. It was sex with no emotion and that was when she knew they were nearing the end.
She sat on the couch sharing a blunt with Bennie and one of his boys as they all talked about Neli.
Truthfully, Kim was surprised that with all that happened, these dudes still wanted a show. You would think that they would be at the hospital. But as Kim had learned throughout her whole life, ain’t nothing more important to a man than pussy. Some may even say money, but that’s not true. ’Cause men get money, so that they could get pussy. They bought cars, dressed nice, bought nice houses, and flaunted money, all for the pussy. It’s the strongest and most powerful thing in the world, at least that’s what Kim was taught.
The more she smoked and drank with Bennie the higher they became and the more they conversed. By the time they had done a couple pills, smoked a couple blunts, and downed a couple bottles of liquor, Kim had Bennie’s manhood in her mouth and all of his secrets in her ears. He asked her did she know Chauncey, or as Bennie referred to him, the puto that almost killed Neli. Kim told him that she couldn’t stand him, and in all actuality it was coming from how upset she was about what he did to Sasha. She didn’t necessarily hate Chauncey, but she thought he and Neli were fucked up. However, Bennie must’ve taken it literally and once he realized that Kim was no friend to Chauncey, he spilled it all.
He was going off about how that nigga lucky he in jail or he would’ve killed him, and Kim was just trying to ease him so she said, “Don’t worry, Chauncey will get his.” Bennie looked at her smiling and all his friends started laughing.
“Oh mami, ju don’t know? He already got his.” They all started laughing some more. And Bennie continued, “All this money, the money in your pretty little ass and titties, that’s his money.”
Bennie’s boy added, picking up another bottle, “It was his money!” They all started cracking up again as Kim just looked at them thinking that maybe she had heard too much.
“So wait, you robbed him?” Kim asked, not really knowing the whole story of the robbery. In fact she didn’t really know anything at all.
“Hell yea we robbed him!” Bennie continued. “Not only did that nigga do this shit to my Penelope, he killed one of my homies.”
Kim just looked at him confused until he explained it.
“A couple of months ago, Neli had told us about some chick that was holding her man shit at her crib. So us, being the niggas we be, we talked to our NY niggas to go check the chick out and see what she got, and the chick ended up being his girl.”
Kim suddenly realized they were talking about Sasha. The time those guys that had broken into Sasha’s house and knocked her out, Neli had set that whole shit up! Bennie continued, not noticing the fire in Kim’s eyes.
“So anyway, after niggas run down on the chick, this nigga Chauncey runs down on my niggas at the strip joint over on Broad. My nigga that actually did the shit got killed, the other one got paralyzed.”
Good, Kim thought. Get ’em, Chauncey.
Just when Kim thought he was done Bennie kept going.
“Fucked up thing is my nigga that died didn’t even kill the bitch. He thought he did but he didn’t, I wish he would’ve. Bitch wasn’t nothing but a hater anyway, Neli used to always tell me ’bout her.” Kim couldn’t sit there any longer and hear them go on about Sasha like that. She couldn’t believe that Neli set that up, she actually wanted Sash dead!
Well, at least those two niggas got what was coming to them. Kim got up from the couch, holding on to the walls, and headed to the bedroom with double-vision from being so high and drunk. She was gonna make a phone call and then she was getting the fuck outta there. She knew exactly who to call too.
She went into the bedroom and closed the door behind her and then she went into the bathroom and closed that door as well. She took out her cell phone and went into contacts. Please let me have it. Please. Bingo!
As the phone rang and rang she prayed that E would pick up his phone. Disappointed when he didn’t she began leaving a message. She tried to be perceptible as well as quiet. She put on the water to try to mask her talking.
“E, it’s Kim. Listen, I’m at the hotel with these niggas. The Holiday Inn next to the airport, room 512, these are the niggas that tried to kill Sash that day they ran up in her crib looking for Chauncey’s money . . . They said that they set up some other shit, too, some shit I don’t know about, they robbed him or something. Y’all need to come up here and get ’em. I’ll call you back in a minute with all the details.”
She wanted to say more, but for now that would do, next step was getting the fuck up out of their room. She flushed the toilet to make it seem like she had used the bathroom. Then turned off the water and she opened the door slowly with her mind set on her escape, but she was met by an angry Bennie on the other side of the door.
The Star-Ledger.
The funeral services for Kimberly Elesia Williams will be held next Saturday at the St. Andrews Funeral Home . . . Kimberly was only nineteen years old.... Cause of death strangulation and stab wounds to chest . . .
Sasha couldn’t read any more. Everywhere she turned was some news of it, of everything. Nineteen-year-old exotic dancer killed in hotel prostitution scandal. Alleged drug lord severely beats innocent woman in hotel room. Seventeen-year-old girl dead and boyfriend arrested after drug-war shoot-out in broad daylight. It was all too much.
Sasha sat on the edge of her bed staring at the wall wondering how everything had gotten so chaotic. The worst thing in the world had to be Kim’s death. It seemed like nobody knew anything. All they had was that crazy-ass message she left E that no one could barely understand.
She thought back to her many memories of Kim, her laugh, her jokes, her smile, her heart. She tried not to cry again but she couldn’t help it. She had lost one of her best friends. The tears rolled down her face as she look
ed at a picture on her dresser of the four of them from her family’s barbecue just last month. The one person who she needed to comfort her was in jail.
Yes, her baby’s father was in jail for damn near beating her other friend to death. Why? Because they were fucking, and she found out. It was too much to handle. And Sasha knew this funeral would be the same.
She hopped in the shower, allowing the warm water to blend with her warm tears. She held on to her flat stomach knowing that if she didn’t make a decision about it soon, it wouldn’t be flat for long. She knew the right thing, especially with all of the chaos, would be to just have an abortion. Although she didn’t sit up in church every Sunday, and she had taken Kim to three of her abortions, she just couldn’t see herself doing that.
She thought on it some more and decided she would give herself another week. Stepping out of the shower, Sasha walked into her bedroom, careful to ignore all of the overturned pictures of Chauncey. She dressed in a black knee-length sundress and could barely manage to comb out her wrap before breaking down again. She couldn’t wait for Tatum to come get her so they could get this shit over with.
Tatum remained in a daze the whole morning; she hadn’t cried or even spoken a word since she’d woken up. Ree helped her get herself together and he even helped get Chanel and Tangee ready. Although Tatum had some reservations about the fact that he said he had nothing to do with her brother getting shot at that day, her brother was safely behind bars and alive. So for now, that was one situation she didn’t have to worry about.
After everybody was all ready, Ree drove his black Benz to pick up Sasha. He looked over at Tatum frequently and felt remorse for her. It was hard to lose a friend, and worse for Tatum, because she had no family, so her friends were her family.
Sasha walked slowly out of her apartment complex where Lizette and Marie were standing. They offered up solemn smiles instead of their usual smirks and whispers. She thought of the last time they were standing there. It was about two months ago, Tatum was picking her up and they were going shopping. They’d seen Ree downtown and Tatum and he had set their first date, it seemed like yesterday. It was a happier moment, but now. Now they were all going to their best friend’s funeral.
Kim’s funeral was packed. Every nigga and female from Newark, Jersey City, Bayonne, and Elizabeth seemed to be up in tiny St. Andrews. Neli was there in a wheelchair with Ray. Blair was there. Of course, Kim’s family. And even D.Gunna came, and he actually appeared really hurt. Tatum managed to crack a half smile as a tear rolled down her face. I guess you wasn’t lying, yellow bitch, about fucking D. Gunna. She could almost hear her responding, I told you! CBP! Tatum bowed her head.
The pastor spoke beautiful words during the sermon, and Sasha sang a beautiful rendition of “One Sweet Day” by Mariah Carey. Tatum looked back over her shoulder and saw Neli crying hysterically through the song. Kim’s mother broke down and had to be carried out. Blair seemed to be almost overcome with grief. He didn’t cry, he didn’t move, he just stared at her casket. It was all so unreal.
As Blair sat there, not caring about anyone and what they thought of him being there, he wondered what could have become of Kim if she hadn’t been so wrapped up into the fast life. It seemed that the very things that attracted him to her seemed to lead to her demise. He wondered if maybe he would have molded the young, beautiful black girl instead of using her for his sexual pleasure, she would have recognized something in herself that would have given her more confidence in so much more than just her body. She was so young. Too, too young to be put down to rest forever.
The service seemed to drag, and as they all walked out into the summer heat and bright sun, Tatum realized that their once foursome had suddenly become a duo. She closed her eyes tight and prayed that when she opened them she would just be waking up, but when she opened them, she was still standing there seeing all the people in black talking amongst themselves. This all was really happening.
As Ree went to get the car, Tatum and Sash stood there talking to a couple of people from around the way. Sasha opened her legs slightly and fanned the top of her dress. The heat was just like everything else about this day, miserable. Sasha looked to the right of her and saw Kim’s mother, Ms. Williams, approaching them. Tatum and Sasha both greeted her with a hug as her face twisted up once again in indescribable pain. Her only daughter in the whole world was gone, at the tender age of nineteen, and she was taken in such a violent and horrible manner.
“You know girls . . . I really appreciate everything that you two have done.”
Between Sasha’s parents and money Tatum had gotten from Ree, they had helped a great deal with the funeral.
“I don’t know what I would have done without y’all. I didn’t have no life insurance or nothing.” Tatum and Sasha just looked on as she rambled. “I know I should, but you know. I never expected to bury my baby.” Then she broke down again. Her son quickly rushed over to grab her as Tatum and Sasha tried to hold her up. “Oh Lord, why my baby?” she cried. Tatum once again closed her eyes.
After the burial and reception, Tatum and Ree dropped Sasha off at her apartment. They asked if she wanted to come with them to Ree’s and stay a couple of days, but she declined. The last thing Sasha wanted to do was be around two people in love, not right now. She just wanted to be alone, and be miserable.
The minute she stepped in her door her phone was ringing off the hook. Just as she managed to wiggle her key out of the lock, it stopped, and then began ringing again immediately. She knew there was only one person that it could be, a person who could only dial a landline because her cell phone did not take collect calls. A person who had been calling all day, and the day before. How many calls did he get anyway? She ignored the ringing phone because she couldn’t stand hearing his pitiful voice when he spoke his name in the time allotted. Well, the last few times he called he had filled in those slots with little messages. They went something like, You have a collect call from an inmate at the Essex County Jail . . . Princess, I love you. Or Please let me explain. . . Will you accept? The very last time, and the last time she answered, his name was “Please don’t kill our baby.” She almost accepted that one just to cuss his ass out, but she didn’t. She switched off the ringer on the phone and slipped off her strappy sandals. Then as she was sliding off her dress, her cell phone began ringing. She looked at the screen for a moment not recognizing the number, unsure of whether to answer or not. Finally she figured that it may be Ree’s house number and she picked up.
“Can I just talk to you for a minute?” There was Chauncey’s pathetic voice again.
“How? Where?” she stammered, wondering how the hell he was able to call her, no operator, just him.
“One of the guards just let me use his cell phone . . . He cool as hell.”
There was a long silence as each of them wondered what to say to the other.
“Sasha. I know that what I did was unforgivable. But you gotta understand what happened. Me and Neli was never nothing, it was just sex.”
It killed Sasha to hear him say him and Neli, as if the two names belonged together.
“Okay, Chauncey,” she said, on the verge of tears again. “Okay, I understand now. You proposed to me, and then you went and fucked one of my best friends. But it was just sex. Hmph, as if I didn’t give you enough of that.”
Chauncey cradled the cell phone between his shoulder and his ear, and held up ten fingers to the guard representing the ten minutes he needed to try to explain shit to Sasha. He knew that in ten minutes he couldn’t get her forgiveness, but maybe he could convince her to keep their baby. That’s what he desperately wanted. He lay awake all night last night imagining him and Sash, and their baby. He just needed to convince her and then get a good-ass lawyer to beat this charge.
The guard nodded and walked away. He was already cool with Chaunc, giving him special privileges and granting requests, all because of who he was. The power of money went a long way, and the power of respect went e
ven longer.
“Sash, baby, it ain’t even like that. I don’t know even how to explain it . . . The first time was a mistake, back at Chris’s bachelor party, baby I was drunk as hell. And then everything after that, I swear, I ain’t want nothing to do with her. She just kept threatening to tell you . . . She said one last time and she promised she was gonna leave it alone. I just thought fuck it, one last time, and then it could be me and you.”
Sasha sat slowly on her bed, her hands shaking and her mouth wide open. It took her a minute to process everything.
“Hold up . . . you mean to tell me that ya’ll have been fucking all that time, Chauncey? Since I went to Atlanta?”
She couldn’t hold back anymore, her tears came, and they came hard. She felt like somebody had ripped her heart out.
Chauncey didn’t know what else to say. It seemed the more he tried to explain, the more fucked up it came out. He tried again.
“Baby, everybody fucked her. I swear, it wasn’t nothing. That’s why I left before. I just couldn’t stand doing that to you. But I couldn’t stay away from you.”
“No, fuck that, Chauncey! You couldn’t stay away from her! You left me just so you wouldn’t feel bad about fucking her? You are so fucking selfish. And then you were still fucking her? What the fuck? Like am I missing something, what were you thinking?”
Again he had dug himself deeper. He thought of how hurt she must be right now, she was cursing. She didn’t even curse like that. She couldn’t curse, she sounded silly. He sucked his teeth at the way the conversation was going.
“Look, Sash, listen to this shit right now! I’m gonna tell you some real shit and you may not believe it, you may not wanna hear it, and you probably won’t forgive me. Shit, you’ll probably hate me the rest of ya fucking life . . . And that’s cool, that’s what I deserve. But know this shit, I’m gonna go down as the nigga who told you that real. A nigga fucks up, a lot. All of ’em. They all fuck bitches, they all lie, they all cheat. Sometimes they stop, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they get caught, and sometimes they don’t. But that shit don’t mean nothing. It don’t mean shit. It’s like second fucking nature. But once you get caught out there, and you sorry . . . Like really, really sorry, that shit kills you. That shit hurts more than what you feeling right now, ma.”
Thicker Than Water Page 18