“Red and black for your colors, huh?” I smile over at her, knowing exactly why these are her wedding colors.
“Hellions for life, Sass. You know this.” She laughs while watching me intently for something, but I am not sure what. Maybe a clue to the old me? Well, that Sass is gone.
“Is Tripp gonna wear a suit?”
“Hell, no. I would laugh at him if he did. And my dad will be driving me on his Harley to the end of the aisle.” She beams with pride.
“So outdoors at the compound? You really don’t want a beach wedding; toes in the sand and all that?”
“This is about Tripp and me, not just me. The Hellions are as much a part of our relationship as they are to us individually.”
“Ride off into your sunset then, Doll,” I genuinely reply, sensing my best friend needs to know she has my support. “Seriously, I may not want to be an ol’ lady or in the club life anymore, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want you to have all your dreams come true. I didn’t mean to question your wedding in a bad way; I just want it to be all the things your inner little girl wants it to be. Make it your fairytale come true and all that shit.”
“Tripp is my fairytale come true. Only the horse he rides in on is made of steel, chrome and leather. Prince Charming has nothing on my biker.” She glows in love and excitement.
“Good. But, if he ever fucks up, I’ll cut his balls off.” She laughs with me.
“No need to worry; I’m sure my dad has a round marked with his name on it. Tripp is good to me, though. He loves me. We both take each other as we are, not trying to change each other; just real shit and unconditional acceptance. Sure, he’s an ass, but he’s mine. And I want you to have your Prince Charming, too; even if he wears a suit and drives an Audi.”
I make a face in mock offense at her last sentence. “Nick doesn’t drive a damn Audi, he drives a Mercedes; keep it straight.”
We both have a fit of giggles before I realize that Nick is the total opposite of everything I ever thought I wanted, and this is a good thing.
“Oh, he’s good to me. I know I keep sayin’ that, but it’s true. And he tries, really tries, to give me the space to sort out my shit. He knows I want away from the club, but it’s hard to actually turn my back, so he gives me the push when I need it. More so, he accepts me completely. I’ve never had someone want to be a priority to me. You know with the club, everything Hellions is your priority period, no questions asked. Nick, well, he wants to be my priority, not a club, not a job; just me to focus on him like he does me. It feels good to be someone’s priority; to be important to someone over everything else. You know my dad, your dad, and the way we grew up; the brother’s needs, the club’s needs, and the business’s needs all came before us. With Nick, I’m first. I know it without any doubt. That feeling, Doll, that level of care, concern and love, it means so much more than I ever thought.”
“I get what you’re saying, Sass. Just so you know, I’m a priority to Tripp. Don’t get it twisted in your pretty, little head. I get you’re scared and hurt by everything with Tank and the entire club with the Delatorre situation, okay. Just, don’t doubt that you are a priority to the Hellions. You’re family, Sass, and always will be.”
“I know you’re a priority to Tripp, but honestly, if the club needs him, he’s gonna leave whatever he’s doing with you for that. I’m glad you can live like that. I can’t.”
“Oh, Sass, Tripp is a charter Prez; I wouldn’t be much of an ol’ lady if I nagged and held him back. So, yes, I expect him to leave and handle whatever needs his attention. It doesn’t mean he loves me any less, it means he’s being responsible for his brothers, his business, and his club. He’s coming home to me as soon as he finishes anything he’s doing, and he’s thinking of me while he’s away.
“It’s about acceptance. I accept this part of his world, our world. You can’t right now. I get that, but there was a time when you wanted exactly what I have. Try things with Nick if that’s what truly makes you happy. Just remember, love—unconditional love—isn’t forced and it’s about acceptance. Don’t forget where you come from.
“Besides, you can say what you want about danger, priorities, and whatever else you cook up in that pretty head of yours, but at the end of the day, the Hellions will always be your family and you’re important to the entire club, just as you are; no change, no sacrifice and no loss required.”
Taking to heart what she’s trying to convey to me, I nod. “He really loves me. What I have with him is different than anything I’ve ever had before. I want this to work.”
“Then make it work and stop doubting everything because the doubts are written all over your face to anyone who knows you.”
“Doll, you’re always keepin’ it real with me, aren’t you?”
She smiles at me. “You know it. Now, let’s get some sleep. I have ink to get tomorrow.”
~Tank~
All consuming darkness is holding me down. My mind fights to be out of the fog, anything to come out of this and reassure those around me I am here. Don’t give up on me. Please, don’t let them give up on me.
It has been quiet. Is the silence from my sleep or have they left me?
The obnoxious noise of the machines whirls in my ears once again. I come around as the steady rhythm settles in my mind, my head pounding at the constant repetition of the monitors.
“Leave him alone,” Danza’s voice booms painfully through my head. “He’s had enough blood drawn and shit changed today. Leave him alone.”
The words resonate in me. Sass’s voice now sounds in my mind, reminding me of the last time I saw her beautiful face.
We were outside the office the day she was sent away. The day I knew she had given up.
Danza is ready to murder me on the spot when Roundman calls me out on hooking up with Sass. I don’t have time to get into it with him, though. I need a moment with her. We’re all outside, and she’s getting on Rex’s bike to take off. Danza wants my balls and she steps in to stop him.
“It’s not like that, Daddy. Leave him alone. He’s my friend, that’s all. I promise you on everything I am, I’m not with one of the brothers and especially not Tank.”
I slump at her words. She’s begging her dad to leave me alone while promising she’s not with me now nor will she be in the future.
Why does the reference to us being only friends feel like a knife to my chest?
Standing back, I watch my fire, my flame, my lifeline pull away on the back of someone else’s bike. I have never given a second thought as to who is on the back of my bike until I watch her ride away. She belongs with me. Why couldn’t I see it before?
Turning to go in the office, I steel myself for the rage Danza is ready to lash out on me. I not only fucked his daughter, I pissed her off and hurt her. Yeah, he can have my balls on a platter. It’s time to man up and face the music.
“All right, let me have it,” I state, fully prepared for whatever he is going to dish out.
“You fucked my daughter!” Danza roars.
“Yeah, I did.”
“I should fuckin’ kill you!”
“Yeah, you should. Honestly, that’s probably gonna be the only way to keep me away from her.”
And that’s the damn truth. I can’t seem to stay away. Not that I know what is really going on between us, yet I don’t want to be away from her. I have pushed her away time and time again when I should have held her close. The last thing I want is to lose her. If I have already lost her, then yeah, someone, anyone, kill me now.
My mind is racing with all these revelations about how deep my feelings really do run for Sass as Danza commands my attention. “What does all this mean, Tank? Suddenly you’re ready to man up like she’s your ol’ lady? Because the Sass that just left here seems pretty determined that you two are friends and nothing more. As a matter of fact, the Sass that just left here doesn’t seem to want a damn thing to do with you even as friends.” He’s questioning me and watching me intently,
like my answer changes everything. For once, I don’t have a fuckin’ answer.
“I don’t have answers, Danza. She’s certainly not my ol’ lady, though. I don’t know what any of this means. Dammit, she won’t talk to me. What do I do with that?”
“You fucked my daughter!” he repeats with his hands on his hips in anger and frustration.
“Yeah,” I reply, hanging my head. What does he want from me?
“You love her?” he questions, and right there, I know what he wants from me and what she wanted from me that night.
“In a way… yes… maybe… I don’t fuckin’ know.”
Before I can react, Danza has me pushed up against a wall. His forearm is pressing painfully against my throat, cutting off my air as he pushes into me more. I could shove him off, but I deserve his anger, his wrath, and so much more.
I let my dick do the talking that night with Sass, rather than let my legs do the walking. I put myself in this situation. If you play with fire, you’ll eventually get burned. I knew better than to push both of us, but I did it anyway.
“YOU DON’T FUCKIN’ KNOW?” he roars at me.
Having had enough, I push him off me. “I’m sorting my shit, including her. I didn’t plan to sleep with her. You want my balls? Fine. You wanna yell at me, shove me around, beat the shit outta me with a fuckin’ baseball bat? Fine. But know that none of that changes a damn thing. In the end, what’s done is done, but I’m gonna make it right.”
He draws his fist back like he’s gonna punch me, but Roundman grabs his arm. “Enough. We have more shit to deal with right now than Tank’s fuck up. Besides, it looks to me like Sass has it handled. If Tank says he’ll make it right, then he’ll make it right. If we don’t handle Delatorre, though, there isn’t gonna be anything to make right because our girls are in danger.”
The reminder of the danger Sass is in burns. If Delatorre gets to her, there may not be a chance to get my shit straight with her and fix the clusterfuck I have made of everything.
Roundman redirects our attention from each other and back to the task at hand. “Snap out of it, both of you; we’ve got work to do. Find this fucker so I can bring my Doll home. First, we go to the girl’s condo. If the asshole was brave enough to approach Doll on her front porch, I guarantee he was inside.”
Sass and Doll have a nice beach condo. They wanted their independence after college and got a place together. Roundman always follows his gut, and what do you know? He’s right once again. Delatorre was all over the girl’s place.
When we find four cameras in Sass’s bedroom and two in her bathroom, I am ready to tear him apart slowly and painfully. He’s watched her getting dressed, watched her with that fucker in the suit. We found more throughout the space especially in Doll’s room.
The reminder that she’s moved on to that pretty boy pisses me off. I am thirty-five-fuckin’-years-old, and it’s time to get my life on track; settle down and shit. I did my girl wrong, but I will make it right and make her mine. Admitting this to myself is the first step. Now, I have to take care of all this shit so my Button can come home and we can fix this.
Picking up one of the extra pre-paid phones we all keep around, I dial the burner phone on Tripp’s scheduled rotation to reach them.
“Crews,” he answers.
“Tripp, the fucker was watching them at home.”
“What the hell do you mean? Watching them? Like cameras or men around?” He questions me seriously.
“Yeah, cameras with a constant feed to him. Heads up, if he got that feed before Bull got the scrambler in place, then he knows they packed up and are on the ride with you already. So, keep it tight, brother, and text me the phone number Sass has at the moment. Toss this one when we are done,” I remind him to switch the phones to not catch a tail. We can’t be too careful right now.
“That motherfucker is goin’ to the ground. The son of a bitch had to know if those cameras were found, it would be over. He’s got balls to go that far for some shipment leverage. Shit’s deep, brother. You keep it tight, and I’ll keep the girls safe. I’ll be in touch.” With that, Tripp disconnects the call.
After a quick text with the number for Sass from another phone, I’m sure he’s disposed of both lines. Knowing he could answer the phone means they are stopped somewhere, so I send Sass a quick text.
We have a circulation order for the phones, knowing which number she has, I can now keep track of which ones she will be using next.
Button, we’re gonna sort this between us. Behave.
Nothin’ 2 sort is her immediate response. Oh, my stubborn Button.
Don’t fight it, u will lose.
What do u want? I’m done with games, Tank.
I want it all.
Exhaustion takes over once again as I feel so close to the edge of reaching out to reality. I hear them, dammit. I can hear everyone around me.
I want to wake up so I can tell her, so I can show her. I want it all with her. I never told her outside of that text. Don’t let me be too late.
Darkness again surrounds my mind as I fall into the slumber I can’t pull myself out of.
Chapter
6
Black
~Sass~
Doll and I arrive at House of Ink Tattoo after we have breakfast. Jared is just getting in himself; he’s come in early for us. As excited as Doll is, I hope he has had his coffee.
Entering the building, I once again take in the red walls lined with the many posters of sketches and flash sheets of options.
“Ladies, it’s good to see you again,” Jared greets with his usual devilish grin.
Bikers, tattoo artists, or any other man with that badass persona and ink, what is it with the small smiles they can give you that make you turn to jelly? Those simple moments where they break the ‘tough guy’ mold for a moment makes women go stupid just like seeing a man with that V cut to his hip area. Not anymore, though; nope. The old Savannah would be flirting with Jared. Not a chance now. He’s hot, but I have a good thing with Nick; no need to push the edge of my boundaries.
Doll is practically jumping up and down in excitement. “I’m so ready, Jared. Let’s do this!”
“Hi, Jared. I hope all has been well with you,” I acknowledge him stiffly.
Being here reminds me of the ride. The ride that kept us safe while our club took losses. No, not our club, the club took losses—it’s not mine anymore.
Tank is in a coma, making the sacrifice of his safety for Doll and me. Shaking my head at the thought, I remind myself I have walked away. Nick is my world now and it’s safe.
The door behind us opens. Jared doesn’t open until noon—it’s just after ten—so no one should be coming in since this is a private appointment.
Turning to look behind us, I see the biggest vase of white lilies and red roses being brought in by a tiny lady with blonde hair pulled back into a bun. She sets the vase on Jared’s counter for body jewelry before looking at us.
“Hi, I’m looking for Savannah Perchton,” she states, looking around at each of us.
“That’s me,” I squeak out in surprise.
“Sign here, please. These are for you.” She hands me a small clipboard with delivery sheets on it.
“They’re beautiful!” I exclaim while scribbling my name on her paper. I have never been given flowers before.
Unable to stop the smile spreading over my face, I hand her back the clipboard.
Doll is immediately by my side as I pull off the card. She’s smiling a full blown, eat-up-all-the-love-and-happiness smile at me. Yes, my best friend may prefer me to be with a biker, but she understands me and really only wants me to be happy.
I read the card and my stomach fills with butterflies.
I’m sorry for last night, Savannah.
I miss you. Have fun.
Come home soon and be safe.
You are my heart.
I love you.
Love, Nick
Sighing, I realize there a
re many things about my life that are uncertain right now. Without a shadow of a doubt, however, this man loves me. That’s the one thing I do know with one hundred percent certainty.
Jared calls for Doll to come back to the room he has all set up to tattoo her. While they are settling in, I make a quick call to my lover.
“Hello, Savannah,” he answers with a slight sadness to his tone.
“So, I’m here at Jared’s and the most beautiful flowers were delivered to me.” I smile, hoping it comes through on the phone. I need him to know this means a lot to me. “No one has ever sent me flowers before. Thank you.”
“I’m sure the flowers aren’t nearly as beautiful as you are, love. I’m sorry for being childish last night. You enjoy your time with your girlfriend. I’m glad to see you are where you said you’d be, though. Enjoy the flowers, enjoy your trip, and come home to me soon.” His tone is laced with a stern undercurrent, lacking the feel of being genuine. I hear voices in the background, reminding me he is at work.
“I know you have work to do. I just wanted to say thank you and I miss you, baby.”
“I love you, Savannah. Call me tonight, love.”
“I will.” And with that, we hang up.
A few hours later, Doll is freshly inked and smiling like a Cheshire cat. After our quick goodbyes to Jared, we are on our way back to the hotel to pack up. Once we check out, we load everything in her Camaro. With no space left, my flowers are riding safely but uncomfortably in my lap. This is going to be a long ride from Tennessee to Doll’s and then back home.
“The flowers are beautiful. Nick is really the romantic one, huh?” Doll asks, shaking me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah, he is,” I reply, unable to keep the smile from forming.
“Hotels with soft, fluffy towels and linens, you said. Was that the trip to Charleston he took you on?”
“It’s everywhere we go. He always upgrades to make sure we are in a full suite. Once a month, he also schedules a spa day for me. I get the full treatment; a massage, waxing, facial, manicure, pedicure and my hair washed, dried and styled. He usually takes me out to dinner afterwards, too. I know he’s not what we’re used to, but he’s really sweet and charming.”
Forever Ride Page 6