“Adi, you know I love you, kid. You have to tell us once and for all what it is in your past that has you so messed up. We can’t help you if you don’t share with us,” T’Claude said.
Adi looked from one to the other of them, her lips quivering and her eyes bright with unshed tears. Still, she remained silent.
“We aren’t going to let this go. You have to tell us,” Griffith said.
The waitress arrived with the wine and poured for the table. Adi grabbed her glass and drained it in one gulp.
“That’s no way to treat a good wine,” T said, “You didn’t even taste it. Slow down.”
Griffith poured her a second glass. Maybe she needs the courage this will give her. Anything that helps. “Please tell us, Adi,” she said.
Finally she spoke, her voice a child’s whisper. “I…it’s hard.”
“Okay, take it as slow as you need to, but just talk to us,” Griffith said.
“I was eleven when it all started. He…J.B., he made me do it. I didn’t know what he was doing. I didn’t mean it.”
“What? What did he make you do?” Griffith asked.
“Kill Ransom. I didn’t mean to, T. I didn’t, I swear.”
“Kill Ransom? You mean he made you kill someone?” T’Claude said.
“He put the gun in my hand. He squeezed it, his finger over mine…”
“That’s not your fault. He forced you, Adi. You aren’t to blame,” said Griffith.
“I’ll force him, that bastard. How could he do that to you? You were just a kid,” he said. “How do you know he was even dead? This Ransom guy?”
“He had to be. There was so much blood.”
“Blood don’t mean much. We got a ton of blood in us, kid. How do you know he was dead? Did this J.B. call an ambulance? Did someone tell you he was gone?” he said.
“No, I mean, I don’t know. There was no ambulance. J.B. took him off in his skiff, said he was going to dump him in the marsh. I don’t know where he took him. He just gave me bleach and told me to clean the place up.”
“So there’s no proof this Ransom was dead. It’s possible he took him somewhere for help. But why? Why did he make you shoot this man?” Griffith said.
“The business. That’s why. He told me Ransom was trying to cheat him. He said he was proud of me for taking him out. It made me sick.”
“What business, kid?” T’Claude asked.
“Drugs. Drug trafficking, I think, but I don’t know for sure. He showed me a baggie of this crystal stuff and told me all we had to do was get it from the shrimpers and pass it on through the shop. I never wanted to know more. It was evil.”
“You said you were eleven when this happened, but you didn’t leave until you were fourteen Why?” Griffith said.
“I couldn’t. I didn’t know how. From the minute that gun went off, all I could think about was running away. I tried to run that night, but the sheriff found me and brought me home after a couple of hours. J.B. watched me all the time after that. And then…then he made me go out with him all the time. To the marshes, to dump bodies. And I had to wash down the room every time he put a beating on someone. Life became…hell. The deepest, darkest hell. And I knew it wouldn’t be long before he took me out to the marshes and left me there too. It took years to be sure I could get away and he wouldn’t find me.”
“None of this is your fault. You don’t have anything to be afraid of, Adi,” Griffith said.
“You can’t know that. You don’t know him. He won’t stop if he finds out where I am. That’s why I had to run. He will destroy everything I love, to make sure I don’t tell what I know. And I was an accessory, wasn’t I? That means jail time, right?”
“We won’t let him get to you,” T’Claude said.
“No, we won’t,” Griffith said.
Adi looked at T’Claude, then at her. She finally let go of the tears she had been holding back. Griffith wasn’t sure if they were from fear, relief, or just anxiety, but she was glad to see Adi let them go.
She moved closer and put an arm around her. T did the same from the opposite side. Griffith did all she could to send comfort to Adi, hoping the strength of her feelings were coming through the gentle hug. You mean so much to me. Feel me; know that I’m here for you. Let me prove you can trust me. Please.
Adi wiped the tears from her face, and for the first time in such a long time, Griffith saw her beautiful smile. It was like the sun coming from behind a cloud and it warmed every inch of her.
“Let’s get out of here. I bet you haven’t had a good night’s sleep since Bertie,” she said.
Adi nodded. They headed back to the Hilton, and T’Claude walked them to Griffith’s door.
“Okay now, you get some sleep. I’m just across the hall if this one won’t stop nagging ya,” he said.
“Okay, T,” Adi said.
“Seriously, don’t even think about leaving. I mean it.”
“I won’t,” she said.
Griffith opened the door and they went into the darkened room. Adi was at her side, and she was determined not to let that change.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Adi stopped just inside the room and stared at the king-sized bed. Now what? This is awkward.
“You go get freshened up. I have a T-shirt you can use to sleep in. I’ll sleep on the couch,” Griffith said. “Here.”
She tossed an oversized shirt to her. It was green with a Victorian styled man and woman on it and the slogan, “Absinthe, double the vision, double the fun.”
“This is an awesome shirt,” she said.
“Yeah, I thought so. It should work as a night shirt, huh?”
Adi kicked off her shoes. “Sure. I’ll be out in a second.”
When the latch clicked on the bathroom door, it was like all the wind went out of her. I don’t know how to feel. I’m hollow. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Who are you? How are you supposed to move forward? Why can’t you feel anything? The longer she looked, the angrier with herself she became. You are nothing. You have no anchor. You’re just going to drift away. Those people out there, they could die because of you. She grabbed a bottle from the counter and threw it at the mirror as hard as she could. The plastic top popped and lotion splattered across the clean surface.
“Adi? You okay in there?”
She watched the slow ooze of the cream down the mirrored glass. That lotion feels more than you do.
The door handle rattled and a hurried knock sounded. “Open the door. You’re scaring me.”
Adi looked at the door handle. She watched her hand move to unlock it, though she didn’t understand how that was happening. She didn’t feel connected to its movement. Then Griffith was there. She was holding her shoulders, saying something. I can’t hear you. What are you saying? Why are you here?
Suddenly the hard, cold surface of the tub rim was under her. Am I falling? No, not falling. Griffith had pushed her down to sit. She was kneeling in front of her, holding her and talking.
Her words were starting to make sense. Focus. She’s talking to you.
“Adi? Can you hear me? Are you okay? I’m going to call for help. Just hang on,” she said.
“No, no. I’m okay. Don’t leave me. Please,” she said.
“I’m not going to leave you. I’m just worried about you.”
“I’m okay. Would you hold me?”
Adi felt, really felt, Griffith’s arms come around her. The empty hollowness drained away as warmth filled her. Griffith helped her up and out to the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed, but Griffith didn’t stop. She climbed onto the surface of the bed and drew Adi down beside her.
“I will always hold you. Always.” She wrapped both arms around her and did just that.
It felt so real, so good, being held this way. Adi was swept away by emotion and felt tears again on her cheeks. These are different. These are healthy tears. She let them flow, down her cheek, onto her neck and into her mouth. The tang of salt woke up her taste
buds, letting her know she was alive. This was real.
Griffith moved her hand, light and tender, wiping away the tears, but said nothing, letting Adi feel. Her hand moved to her hair, gently running through the strands. God. That feels so good. That feels like heaven. Like I matter. She knew instinctively that this was what she needed. Nothing more, nothing less. Just this moment, right here with Griffith. With the soothing play of Griffith’s fingers through her hair, she let herself fall asleep.
Burning, something was on fire. The heat was centered on her hand and the gun she held. “You done a good thing here. She was worthless and had to go. I’m proud of you, baby. Nobody cheats a Nerbass and lives to tell about it. Right?” Her? What? Not Ransom. Griffith! Her blood-soaked body a crumpled heap at her feet. She had to stop the bleeding. Save her. A hand gripped hers, pulling Adi away from her. Stop. I have to help her. She struggled against the grip, desperate to break away. “Adi, come on, it’s okay. Wake up…”
“Wake up. You’re safe.”
The panic melted away as Adi realized it had been a dream. She was lying beside Griffith in the hotel room. “Griffith,” she said. She frantically ran her hands up and down Griffith’s body, looking for injury.
“Hey, everything is fine. You were just dreaming.”
“I shot you. He made me shoot you.”
“I’m fine. It’s okay. No one shot me. He can’t make you do anything anymore.”
Adi pulled Griffith against her, the scent of jasmine replacing the smell of the gun smoke. The soft pressure of her breasts against her replacing the heavy feel of the gun. She needed her. Had to have her and the reality of Griffith removing the nightmare of her past. She kissed her then, hard. Almost too hard. Griffith pushed against her.
“Wait. Slow down.”
In response, she kissed her again, but this time slower and with less urgency. It was like a slow wave of heat, like the sun warming her skin after a swim. It grew and grew, until it had a life of its own. And Griffith was kissing her back, her heat entwining with Adi’s, becoming one entity.
And then the heat was overwhelming and Adi had to get out of the confining clothes that trapped it and kept it burning against her. And Griffith was stripping too. And her skin was like the softest silk against her fevered flesh. The press of her body ignited a different heat, deeper. And then Griffith’s hand was against her, between her legs and moving, sliding through her wetness, inside her. Filling her. And she was crying out, breaking, gone. But Griffith was with her, catching her, cradling her, and bringing her back to earth and holding her, always holding her.
*
The persistent buzzing of a cell phone woke her some time later. Griffith rolled away and grabbed it. Half asleep, Adi watched her scroll through an email. When Griffith rose from the bed and moved to a chair, she forced herself to awareness.
“What is it?” she asked.
Griffith smiled and walked back to her. She leaned down and kissed her, and the brush of her nipples against Adi’s caused a rush of heat. “Mmmm. That’s nice. Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For, you know, for what we shared.”
The smile turned into a grin and Griffith poked her ribs teasingly. “You mean for the sex? Huh? Is that what you mean?”
Adi knew she was bright red with embarrassment. “Yeah. That.”
“No reason to thank me. You started that. I should thank you,” Griffith said.
“You know what I’m trying to say.”
“Yeah. I do. It was pretty amazing.”
“Yeah?” Adi said. She wanted to hear it, to know it had been special for Griffith too. She wanted desperately to know she wasn’t alone. In this, or anything else.
“Umm-hmm.”
“Think we could do that again sometime?”
“I’m sure we can work something out.”
Adi kissed her then, the wondrous softness of her lips captivated her. I could kiss you forever. I’d never get tired of your lips. They are the softest thing I’ve ever felt. When she moved away from Griffith, she had a pensive expression on her face.
“What is it? Why so serious?”
“That email? It was a friend of mine in the DEA. He wants me to meet with him in an hour,” she said.
“It’s the middle of the night, isn’t it?”
“Not really. It’s five thirty. I need to go see him. Would you come with me?”
“Why? What’s this about?” Adi said.
“It’s a long story, and I’m afraid it’s going to upset you, but I think you need to know about it.”
“Then tell me.”
“I really don’t want to talk about it until we’re with my friend, if that’s okay. He has more facts than I do. Can you trust me on this? I know it’s asking a lot, but this is important.”
Adi considered what Griffith was asking. This has to be about J.B. What else could the DEA and Griffith have going on that would upset me? Am I ready for this?
“Is T’Claude coming?”
“Not this time. Just us. Contacts don’t like a bunch of people showing up,” she said.
“You’re asking me to trust you, and right now that’s hard. I trusted you to listen when I asked you not to dig into my past. You didn’t. I’m sure you had your reasons, but the danger you put me in, put us all in… You don’t even know.”
“You’re right. I didn’t listen, and I broke your trust. I’m so sorry I did that. I was thinking about the consequences to me and not about you, and that was not only wrong, but selfish. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“I’m trying, but asking me to trust you without giving me any information is really hard to swallow. I want to, but how can I?”
“It’s different now. I’m not chasing a story and I’m not thinking about how this can help me. All I’m thinking about now is you. Mike can help you, and that’s all I care about. Later, if I can write about it without hurting you, then maybe I will. But I’ll talk to you about it first. I love you, Adi. I love you so much.”
Adi wanted to say it back, to tell Griffith she loved her too, but she was so mixed up right now. The best she could do was to trust her again and hope it wasn’t misplaced this time. “Okay. Where are we meeting him?” She saw the slight disappointment in Griff’s eyes and knew it was because she couldn’t say the words yet. But she wouldn’t, not until she was really sure.
“At the local DEA office. It’s in Metairie, so we need to take a cab.”
“We have to tell T where we’re going. He’ll be crazy with worry if we just disappear,” she said.
“Yeah, of course. Let’s shower, then we can call him. It’s awfully early.”
“A shower sounds great. Um. You first?”
“How about we take one together? There’s plenty of room,” Griffith said with a wicked grin.
“Okay.” For some reason Adi was incredibly nervous. Get it together. It’s not like you’re strangers or something. You just spent the night wrapped in her arms, naked. Come on, grow a pair. She hurried into the bathroom and adjusted the water. Griffith walked up behind her and ran a hand up her back.
“It’s okay, you know. I promise not to bite.”
“I’m such a wuss…I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not. This is all just new to you. Relax, it’s all okay. Just enjoy it as it happens. Don’t overthink it.”
Adi turned and opened her arms. Griffith slid into them and kissed her, lightly at first, and then with more passion. She backed away and stepped into the spray of the shower, holding out her hand. Adi let herself be led under the warm water.
The press of Griffith against her back was sensual and erotic at the same time. She felt little jolts of pleasure ripple through her. And then Griffith was soaping her hair and her body. The wet slip of her breasts across Adi’s back was making her crazy. And then she ran her palms over Adi’s breasts, and the sensation of her nipples tightening made her moan. She felt Griffith gently pull on their tips and twist them slightly. It was
too much. She turned and captured Griffith’s lips, then ran her own hands down Griff’s firm backside and cupped her cheeks.
Then she lifted her, sliding her wet center down the hardness of her flexed thigh. Griffith threw her head back and moaned, giving Adi perfect access to her flawless neck. She kissed the perfect skin and pulled gently at it with her lips, careful not to leave a mark. She lifted her again and repeated the motion against her hard muscle, her own body reacting as Griffith moaned again.
“God, Adi. Take me. Please. I need to feel you inside me.”
She leaned Griffith against the wall of the shower and slipped a hand between Griffith’s legs. She tenderly parted the folds of flesh with her hand and slipped one finger into the slick warmth.
“More.”
A second finger followed, and she began to thrust into her. She pushed her thumb across Griffith’s rigid clitoris as she moved into her, and Griffith cried out in pleasure. Her moans came in time with Adi’s thrusts and then the crest as euphoria met rapture and she fell against Adi, completely spent. Adi’s heart felt like it could burst. She felt so completely powerful in this moment, with Griff helpless in her arms. This is trust. This is what I need to have from you, and give to you. To be this open and vulnerable with you. I love you, Griffith.
Adi held her until she recovered, treasuring the experience, and then they finished their shower in earnest. When they were dressed, Adi called T’Claude to let him know where they were going. He wasn’t happy about being left behind, but understood the necessity. They promised to phone when they were on their way back to the hotel.
The cab ride to Metairie seemed to take forever as Adi considered all the possibilities of what was about to happen. The glass tower that housed the DEA office was imposing and daunting. She didn’t have much experience with high-rises. In fact, the hotel was her first. This building made her feel small and vulnerable.
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