by M. L. Young
“That was so great,” Cash said as we got into his SUV.
“I’m so glad I decided to come with you today. I think it went really well,” I said.
“Stacey was very impressed with you as well, with the interviews and how you conducted yourself today. You’re a dream for her,” he said.
“A dream?” I asked, laughing. “How so?”
“Not all the women I’ve dated have been so great. Scandals and bad press are a nightmare for your publicist. Images and reputations aren’t all that easy to repair, you know,” he said.
“True, I guess I’ve never thought about it that way. Well, at least you won’t have to worry about me…or will you?” I asked, teasing.
“Do you have to go home tonight?” he asked.
“I don’t have to,” I said.
He looked at me. “Can you not?”
“Don’t you have work?” I asked.
“Not until the morning, and that’s then, not now. I don’t really want to leave you already,” he said.
“Then I won’t leave. But only if we can cuddle,” I said, my finger pointed like I meant business.
“That was definitely one of my terms, so I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
Cash reached over and held my hand as he drove us the rest of the way to his house. I looked out of the window and watched the world go by. All that mattered to me in this moment was us, and right now, it was going pretty damn well.
Cash ordered a Hawaiian pizza and we curled up in front of the fire and turned on The Bachelor on demand, much to his chagrin. Still, he was a good sport and didn’t make me turn it off, and as the pizza crusts sat in the box and the bottle of wine he brought out started to empty, I rested my head against his thigh while he ran his fingers through my hair.
I never thought I’d be this lucky.
Chapter Twenty-One
Cash
Two weeks had passed and it was time to film my final scene for the movie. Working on movies was something fierce, requiring a lot of dedication and time in ways I never thought imaginable. I had to work out regularly, eat a strict diet, work days that were sometimes fourteen hours long, and so much more. People thought I had this cushy job, just memorizing a few lines at a time, but it was harder than I thought most people could handle.
I stepped onto set, David manning the helm, and my final scene of the movie and day couldn’t have been easier. We were only mid-way through the day as well, about two in the afternoon, which meant I could get home and beat traffic to get ready for the wrap party later tonight.
“Action!” David yelled.
“You thought you could get away, but little did you know who you were dealing with. The nation is now safe because of me, and once again, justice prevails,” I said while looking majestically over a CGI sunset overlooking the White House.
“Cut!” David yelled, and the cast and crew burst into applause.
I waved, smiling, as I couldn’t have been happier to finish things off and finally have some downtime. “Great job, Cash,” David said, giving me a hug.
“It feels so good to be done,” I said.
“Don’t I know it. Now it’s just to post and then to release this bad boy,” he said, patting my back.
Even though our filming was done, some of the hardest parts of the entire movie-making process were still left to do. Doing press tours was horrendous, as we skipped from town to town and had to talk with every single reporter, news agency, and entertainment website out there. Sometimes we’d do ten interviews in a row, essentially answering the same questions over and over again. I hated doing it, but it was one of those necessary evils that I was contractually obligated to do.
I packed up my things from my trailer and headed home. The entire cast and crew were set to meet in a couple hours for the wrap party downtown. The studio rented a giant converted warehouse that hosted a lot of big name parties for us, and we were going to bring friends, family members, and anybody else close to us. For me, that meant bringing Jenna, who was more than excited to meet the people I worked with and talked so much about. I knew some of them were pretty pumped to meet her as well, considering how much I talked about her.
Jenna was meeting me here, and a town car was going to pick us up so we didn’t have to drive tonight. I thought we both planned on doing some light drinking, and we wanted to be safe and not reckless.
I dressed in a white button-up shirt and navy blue slacks before my doorbell rang and Jenna was waiting at the door. “Don’t you look beautiful,” I said as she walked inside.
“You look pretty handsome yourself,” she said, giving me a kiss.
I’d given her the passcode to the gate, figuring we’d been dating for a little while and I could always change it if things went south. Besides, I didn’t think she was the vengeful type, so I didn’t think I’d have much if anything to worry about.
Soon after the town car pulled up, the driver getting out to open the door for us, and just as soon as I sat down Jenna grabbed my hand and held it. “I missed you,” she said, kissing it and cuddling up to me.
“I’ll have some more time now,” I said.
“Promise? I don’t want to be let down,” she said.
“The shooting is over, so until press starts, we’re good,” I said.
“I’m so excited to know that we can spend time together whenever we want. No more full days and nights with you working. It’s going to be so amazing,” she said with a huge smile.
We pulled up to the event, as guys in red tuxedos opened the doors and cameras started flashing. The music was raging inside and Jenna and I stood and took a few pictures together, smiling from ear to ear, before going inside and getting into the action. Some of these guys, middle-aged men with beer bellies and ponytails, were dancing around like they were teenagers at a high school dance. It was hysterical, seeing their kids with their heads down as they tried not to claim that they were in fact their children.
“Here he is,” David said as he walked up with a drink in his hand.
“David, this is my girlfriend, Jenna. Jenna, this is my amazing director, David,” I said.
“I’ve heard so much about you. It’s so nice to finally meet you,” he said, shaking Jenna’s hand.
“Same here. Cash only has the nicest things to say about you,” she said.
“Listen, Cash, can I talk to you in private for a moment? It’s about something important,” David said.
“Go,” Jenna said. “I’ll get us some drinks.”
“What’s up?” I asked as Jenna walked away.
“The studio has a huge opportunity for you. They’re starting a new superhero movie franchise, and they want you to head it. You’d be the superhero, and it’s at least a four-movie deal,” David said.
“Wow, that’s flattering, but I’m not sure I can commit to that right now. We just did this, and we still have another—”
“Listen, I know it’s a big decision, but think about it for a second. The pay is astronomical, and they also want to give you a cut of the back-end ticket sales, at-home sales, merchandising, the entire kit and caboodle. Not only that, but you’d be a fucking superhero,” he said, sloshing his drink around.
“When would they want me to start, if I did it?” I asked.
“Next week, that’s the part that sucks. They want to send you to train with some monks or something in Thailand. I don’t know, but you’d be gone for a couple months, traveling the world and getting training and bulking up for the role. There’s a large fighting sequence to it, and you’d have to know all these different types of martial arts,” he said.
“Why couldn’t I learn them here? There’s tons of teachers around here,” I said.
“Listen, I don’t know why, but they have a hard-on for the authentic experience. Maybe they’d be more lenient on letting you choose the places to go,” he said.
“Man, I just don’t know if I could go, David. I’m with Jenna now, and things are going really well. I just to
ld her I’d be around from now until press for this movie starts,” I said.
“Hey, I know you like the girl, she’s a sweetheart, but this is a career-defining role. Kids will be watching this for generations and looking up to you. Your face will be on toys, posters, cereal boxes, everything! There are a ton of women out there, you know that,” he said.
“Yeah, but not like her,” I mumbled.
“Just think about it, and let them know in the next two days. They’ll have to go with somebody else if you say no. I have to go find my wife, she’s around here somewhere,” he said before walking away while dancing.
“Good news?” Jenna asked as she came over with two drinks.
“Yeah, just boring work stuff with the movie. Nothing important,” I said, putting my arm around her.
I wanted to tell her, I wanted to spill everything and let her know exactly what they wanted me to do, but I couldn’t—at least not here, anyway. I knew this would cause an argument, or at the very least some tears on both ends. This party was a happy time, and I could talk to her about it later. For now, we could dance and forget about everything David said.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jenna
I woke up to Cash’s face, his chin a little bit stubbly. He wrapped his arms around me, telling me good morning, as he was finally a free man.
“It feels so good knowing that you’re not leaving in ten minutes,” I said, grabbing his hand and holding it.
“Yeah,” he said, without much happiness in his tone.
“Everything okay?” I asked, looking back at him.
“Yeah, just a little tired. I think I drank too much last night,” he said.
“You didn’t seem drunk,” I said.
“Maybe I’m just dehydrated, then. I think I’m going to go get some water,” he said, letting go of me and getting up. “Do you want any?”
“Yes, please,” I said before sitting up.
I sat in his room for about ten minutes, alone, waiting for him, before I finally slipped out of bed and put some clothes on. What was taking him so long? It shouldn’t take ten minutes to get two glasses of water. I walked downstairs and saw him in the kitchen, his hand against his forehead. He looked upset about something. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Oh, hey, I’m sorry about the water. I’ll get it now,” he said, getting out a glass and filling it.
He handed it to me as I walked up, but before I could take a sip, I had to know what was wrong. I knew I was right a few minutes ago in bed. “Tell me,” I said, looking at him with an honestly concerned expression.
“It happened last night. When David came up to me, it wasn’t just work stuff. Well, it was, but with other stuff,” he said.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re going to hate me, or at least be really mad. It wasn’t my idea,” he said.
“Babe, just tell me. I promise I won’t be mad at you, so long as you’re honest with me,” I said.
“David said the studio wants me to start basically right away on another movie. It’s a superhero movie, since those are so big right now, and they want me to do all this training for a few months so that I can get good at different types of martial arts,” he said.
“Well, that’s a little soon to start working again, but it isn’t filming, so shouldn’t the schedule be okay?” I asked.
“No,” he said, his head hanging down.
“Well, why not?” I asked.
“They want me to spend a few months traveling the world, starting in Thailand,” he said.
“Oh,” I replied, unsure what else to say.
I was in shock more than anything as I tried to process what he was telling me. Was he leaving me for a few months to go to Asia? I definitely wasn’t a girlfriend who held her man back, but I’d be lying if I said I was okay with him going. We were doing so well, and him going away would set us back so far. It might even break us. I didn’t want that.
“When do you have to let them know?” I asked.
“By tomorrow. They want me to leave like next week or something,” he said.
“And you’re just now telling me about it?” I asked, as I felt tears beginning to well up in my eyes.
“I just found out about it, Jenna. Don’t think that I’ve been holding secrets, please don’t think that,” he said.
“What are you going to do?” I asked.
“I don’t know. It’s a lot to process in a short amount of time. I wanted to just do it here, train here, but they said no. They want me to be authentic so that the movie doesn’t suffer,” he said.
“It seems like an awful lot of bother to go through for one movie,” I said.
“It’s for at least four, maybe more, I don’t know,” he said, almost ashamed.
“Wow,” I said, before the waterworks started.
“No, please don’t cry, I never want to make you cry,” he said, coming over to me and pulling me into him.
I couldn’t stop crying, my eyes having been dry for the past year or two, but I just couldn’t control myself in this moment. I felt like my entire world was crashing down, and I couldn’t help but be upset. Cash would miss my graduation, I wouldn’t get to see him, and the time difference would be so fucked up that we’d barely get to talk or video chat.
“So are you doing it?” I asked.
“It’s just such a big opportunity. I don’t want to leave you, but I don’t want to look back on this in the future and think that I made a big mistake by not taking the role. I’ve dreamt about being a superhero since I was a kid,” he said, his voice cracking.
“Then do it,” I said, the words that came out of my mouth going against everything my heart was telling me.
“What?” he asked in disbelief.
“I can’t be the reason you don’t do something in life. If we weren’t together and had never met, you’d jump on this opportunity. The only reason you aren’t now is because you’re dating me. I can’t do that to you. I can’t kill your dreams and have you resent me forever,” I said.
“But what about us?” he asked.
“What about us? I don’t know what to do,” I said.
“I don’t want to lose you, Jenna,” he said.
“I’m falling for you so hard, but you’re going to be so far away and I don’t want to sit around wondering what could have been,” I said.
“What does that mean?” he asked.
“Maybe it’s best to just see if things pick back up again when you get back,” I said, clearing my throat.
“You’re breaking up with me?” he asked, backing up.
“No, I’m just saying that dating somebody who could just leave so quickly is a hard thing to do. I knew you worked a lot, but I didn’t know you would or could just leave so quickly,” I said.
“So you want to date other people?” he asked.
“No, that’s not it at all. All I want is you, and you know that, so don’t try to make me out to be some slut or something. I don’t know, I just don’t know,” I said.
I did know, though. I knew exactly what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was screaming on the inside, more at myself than at him or his stupid job, and I wanted to let those screams out. I was doing what I did in the past to protect myself, and that was by breaking up with somebody before they could break up with me, or leave me, or whatever you want to call it. Cash was leaving for a few months or longer, and I didn’t think I could take him not coming back or not coming back to me. At least this way I was safe, and he couldn’t break up with me.
“I don’t think you’re a slut, so don’t say that, please. I just won’t take the role, then. I’m not losing you,” he said.
“No, you’re taking it. I can’t be with you if you won’t take it,” I said.
“So I’m fucked either way, right? That’s what you’re telling me. Either I take it and you dump me, or I don’t take it and you dump me,” he said, his voice rising a little.
“Don’t yell, please. I can’t
be the reason you don’t do things in life. You deserve to follow your dreams, and your dream is to do this. When you get back, if you still want me, I’m here. Until then, I think we should be apart. I can’t sit around looking out my window like some Civil War wife wondering when you’ll walk up the front steps and back into my life. I think this is for the best,” I said.
“I can see there’s no changing your mind. I guess it’s over, then, at least for now,” he said, walking away. The sorrow in his voice broke my heart.
“I’ll go get my things,” I said softly before walking upstairs to his room.
I crashed, falling onto his bed, as I couldn’t help but sob uncontrollably. What did I just do? Why was I such a fool? This man was the best man I’d ever met, treating me so amazingly, and I just dumped him like yesterday’s garbage. I was abhorrent, and I hated myself right now.
A few minutes in, my makeup from last night likely now spread all over his sheets, I felt him grab me, picking me up, before he pulled me in tightly to him. He wrapped his arms around me, his chin resting on top of my head, before he kissed it softly. My head started to hurt from all the crying.
I looked up at him, wiping my nose with my finger. All I saw was the look of a man with a broken heart. He leaned in, kissing me softly on the lips, as if for the final time. There was an eerie sense of peacefulness to it all, as if it were meant to happen at this very moment. When he let go of me, I packed up my things, and he walked me outside to my car.
I tried to be brave, to be strong, but I lost it as soon as I got onto the main street. I pulled into a gas station parking lot, parked my car, and lost all control as I sobbed uncontrollably and wondered what I’d just done. I was a fool.
•••
Two days had passed and I swore this was never going to get easier. I know they say that you need time after a breakup for things to settle down and for you to get over it, but how long did I really need? I read somewhere that you need one week for every month you were together, but we weren’t exactly together all that long. I thought it hurt more because I was thinking of what I was going to miss out on, assuming that he didn’t come back to me.