“Okay,” I grumbled.
“Look at me.”
I pinned my stare on him and growled. “Okay.”
“Give me your word, as a friend.”
I rolled my eyes. “Alright! The Institute is safe.”
A restrained smile twitched across his lips. “And Adam?”
“Yes, dammit, I won’t touch him. Cross my heart and bake a demon in a pie, but you gotta get me inside the Institute. Tonight.”
He grinned. “Then let’s do this.”
Chapter 13
Ryder snuck me in by walking me through the front doors with black canvas bag over my head and my hands cuffed behind my back. Just a transfer from New York, he’d said, and the guards bought it. Why wouldn’t they? Ryder was an Enforcer, his record squeaky clean, his reputation preceded him.
I could have walked in myself, but considering how I’d left things with the Institute, I’d likely find myself tranquilized and shoved in a cage before I could say “Boo.” They didn’t suffer out-of-control demons lightly. I wouldn’t have put it past Adam to have me euthanized for my own good.
Ryder uncuffed me as he walked me through the administration level. He tugged off the bag, and we fell into step beside one another. I reached inside my jacket and removed my gun from its holster. I flicked off the safety and loaded a round into the chamber. A few employees glanced my way, but we’d reach Adam’s office before anyone thought to raise the alarm. Hopefully, they’d assume Ryder had everything under control.
We stopped outside Adam’s office. I heard the bastard inside. A one sided conversation indicated he was on a call. I sucked in a breath, trying to chase away my nerves, then jabbed the gun in Ryder’s side. “I’m sorry.”
He jerked, body tightening, and glowered at me. “Muse...”
I gripped his shoulder and leaned the muzzle into him. “Open the door.” I didn’t have time to tell him this was the only way to keep his rep intact. From the disgusted look on his face, I could tell he wouldn’t buy it anyway.
He shoved open the door. Adam, phone to his ear, glanced over as I marched Ryder inside and kicked the door closed behind me. “Hang up.”
Adam hung up the call and slowly placed the handset on his desk. His hand dipped beneath the roll edge of the desk. I knew, from one of my early fresh-out-of-the-cage attempts to lunge across the desk at him, that he had a gun in the top drawer.
“Keep your hands on the desk.” I didn’t sound as angry and fucked up as I felt. I was getting my demon back. Everything would be back to normal once she coiled inside me. I’d be whole again. Free? Maybe not free. I still had a psychopathic owner after me. The Institute would probably go back to wanting me penned in, poked, and prodded to their hearts’ content. But it would be okay because I’d be me again. How I should be. And anyone who tried to hurt me could go to hell.
Adam splayed his hands on the desktop and held my stare. He rolled his lips together, moistening them, but otherwise sat perfectly still.
Ryder had lifted his hands a little, making it clear the position he was in. He breathed slowly. If he wasn’t already wounded, he might have attempted to tackle me. He still might. I didn’t want to hurt him again, but I could.
“This has gone on long enough.” I made no attempt to hide the tremor in my voice. Ryder could probably feel me shaking through the gun still digging into his ribs. “I’m not your property, Adam. I am not chattel to be traded, or a beast to be studied. I’ve permitted your tests. I let your doctors poke and prod me. I’ve done everything you’ve asked and more. It’s time you gave me my demon back.”
“No.” He barely looked ruffled at all. The slight pinch around his eyes and firm press of his lips indicated he was angry, but he certainly wasn’t afraid. He had never feared me. That was a mistake.
“You don’t seem to understand how desperate I am. I’m more dangerous to you now like this. My element is breaking through. It’s unpredictable and chaotic. I can’t control it. I’ve nearly killed two men already. Give me the antidote.”
Adam drew in a breath. “If I give you the antidote there’s nothing to stop you from laying waste to everything I’ve worked for. I will not have you destroy my life’s work. The Institute is bigger than you, Muse. It’s bigger than me. I can’t jeopardize that. Certainly not for you.”
A growl bubbled up the back of my throat. “I have no interest in hurting you or this place. I need her back. She’s a part of me, Adam. You just don’t get it. Do you? I’m worth more to you whole. If you want a demon on your side, you’ve got one. I promise you that, but if you don’t give her back to me, I’m as good as dead. Damien is here. I’ve seen him. You know what he can do. If I’m without my demon, he’ll tear me to pieces, and he won’t stop at me. He’s got a taste for it now. He’ll kill again and again. Is that what you want?”
Adam bowed his head. “How can I trust you, Muse, when you’re holding a gun to your handler?”
I couldn’t decide whether to smile or snarl. “You were never going to give her back. Were you?”
He stood slowly and glared right back at me. “I’m in the business of stopping demons, not harboring them.”
I swung the gun around and aimed it at his head. I could pull the trigger and do the world a favor. I wanted to.
“Muse...” Ryder warned. He stood a few strides off to my left, poised to lunge.
“Pick up your phone, and make it happen, Adam. I’m not leaving here without my demon.”
“Kill me, and you never get her back.” So calm. So confident in his conviction.
My finger twitched, just a little. Ryder inched closer. I flicked a warning glance in his direction then glared at Adam. “Do it.”
He reached down and picked up the phone. His fingers trembled as he dialed the internal number. He lifted the handset to his ear and barked the order I needed to hear. “I need you to bring an injector of PC-Forty-Two to my office. Yes, I understand. Do it now.” He ended the call and tossed the phone onto the desk. The immense weight of disappointment on his face considerably brightened my mood.
“You’re dangerous.” He said it like an insult.
“I know.” I grinned. “But you don’t need to worry because I’m on your side. I meant what I said. I’ll kill Damien. I’ve done it before. I’ll do it again. Then I’m going to get Stefan back.”
The mention of his son’s name clouded his face. “Dangerous, impulsive, and stubborn. You’re nothing like Stefan. Despite his affliction, my son was a good man. You, I don’t know what you are.”
I resisted the urge to say, “Your worst nightmare,” despite it being particularly apt. He probably read as much from my smile. “I never asked. If you despise demons so much, how did you manage to get close enough to one to get her pregnant? Stefan’s mother, Yukki Onna? The Snow Witch?” A twitch of restrained emotion went through him. My gaze flicked down to where his right hand closed into a fist. I’d hit a nerve, and by the looks of it, a deep, painful, raw nerve. I planned on hitting it harder. “I hear she’s very beautiful. Did you fall for her? Your dirty little secret perhaps? Did she break your old heart? Is that why you hate demons so much?”
“You—” He bit the words back, swallowing his anger with them. “Don’t presume to know my past, Muse.”
My lip curled. I still trembled but not with fear. “You’re a fake. You hate demons so much, and yet you managed to screw one to get yourself a hybrid son.” It was a low blow, but if I couldn’t hurt Adam any other way, I could certainly verbalize what I thought of him.
Adam came around the desk, bearing down on me within a few strides. I still had the gun on him and stood firm, holding it out at arm’s length until the muzzle wavered close to his forehead. His wide eyes and flared nostrils said it all. At least we had hatred in common. He believed I’d shoot him. I’d never killed anyone before. Only my owner, and I’d screwed that up. Did I have it in me to pull the trigger?
A knock on the door pulled me out of my darkening thoughts. Ryder chec
ked me. I nodded, and he opened the door. Nica yelped as he grabbed her by the arm and tugged her into the office, quickly closing the door behind her.
She stumbled between Ryder and Adam. “Oh my god... Muse... What’re you doing?”
“Give me the antidote.”
Nica looked at her father, but Adam only had eyes for me. She stepped forward and held out the injector. Keeping the gun trained on Adam, I snatched the injector from her palm and jabbed it against my neck. Relief spilled through me. The drug simmered through my veins.
A slight itch crawled beneath my skin. I tilted my head and rolled my shoulders as the fizzling sensation spread down my arm and across my chest. I’d had this happen once before and knew it hurt like hell. Before, my demon had been banished for a few days. This time, months had passed.
I became very aware of three people waiting for me to buckle. The itch beneath my skin smoldered. Unpleasant heat bubbled through my body. I lowered the gun and flicked on the safety before attempting to tuck it back into its holster. I missed.
Adam took a step closer.
I snapped my head up and backed against his bookshelf. “Don’t touch me. Just let it happen. If you touch me or try and restrain me in any way, I can’t guarantee I won’t hurt you.” A white-hot blaze of pain snapped up my spine, throwing my head back and locking my jaw together. I dropped to my knees. The gun skittered from my hand across the floor. Ryder snatched it.
Slumping forward onto my hands, I felt the chasm inside of me swelling outward, opening to embrace the impending release of power. She was there; a coiled predator lurking in the far reaches of my mind, stalking the fringe of my thoughts.
“Hold her.” I heard Adam bark the order and sensed Ryder beside me, but he didn’t touch me.
“No,” Ryder said. “She’s right. Let her do this.”
“Goddammit, hold her down.”
“Back off, Adam. I got this,” Ryder growled. I felt his presence and smelled the gun oil on his clothes, the alcohol on his breath. When he spoke, it was a soft whisper in my ear. “Don’t make me regret backin’ you up, Lil’ Firecracker. Control her.”
I got the distinct impression that if I didn’t, he wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in my head. It didn’t matter either way. She was coming, and if I couldn’t control her, we were all dead.
Heat both smothered and swelled over me, filling me up until my demon broke the surface. She stepped from the unknown, from nothingness, into my heart. I gasped. A sudden thrill of power danced through my veins. Sparks jerked my mortal body. My puppet master element pulled the strings attached to my nerve endings. She laughed. I laughed. The room throbbed with energy. The building sizzled. The city outside buzzed with the promise of power. I had it all at my fingertips, could summon it into my heart and release it into the wild. The lust for chaos stole my breath away and wrenched reason from my mind. She wanted power. She wanted to burn it all; to slice open the veil and summon the fires of hell to dance for her. So did I.
She laughed again and pulled me onto my feet. I saw the three of them standing across the room. Ryder had the gun trained on me. Nica leaned into her father, tucked protectively against him. Burn them, my demon purred. Burn them all.
I smiled and allowed my demon to manifest. They would see her image shimmer over my mortal form, not entirely there, but real enough. They could never see all of her—too human to witness the truth. My one wing stretched high and flapped once, sending a scorching blast of air swirling about the office, lifting papers. Chaos thrashed at my core. It would take little more than surrender on my part for my demon to call enough heat and flame to burn the Institute to the ground. Just one moment of acceptance. It flirted with my thoughts, called to me, lured me closer to the precipice of madness with promises of freedom. They couldn’t stop me. It would be easy. It would be divine.
I snarled and stood tall. Dying embers spiraled loosely around me like moths fluttering around a campfire. Ryder eyed me down the length of the gun, his finger hooked over the trigger. He looked into my eyes. He’d see the demon there, the fire. He might even see the madness bubbling in my mind. And he could pull the trigger.
I sucked in air through my teeth, hissed deeply, and eased the thirst for chaos back where it belonged, deep behind my human barriers. She didn’t fight me. I had feared she would, but she seemed content to curl up at my core and rest, until all I could feel was a tiny filament of fire. I was complete again.
I blinked, licked my lips, and ran my hands through my hair; gathering my self-control around me. “Okay then. Put the gun down, Ryder. We need to find Damien before he kills again.”
Chapter 14
The woman—what was left of her—had been propped up against the massive trunk of an ancient oak tree, arms and legs posed at awkward angles, like a discarded doll. Foxes, stray cats, and all the other city critters had feasted on her remains while the city slept. It wasn’t until dawn broke that she’d been discovered in the park by a jogger. The sickly cloying odors of death hung in the stagnant air. Mist hovered around the trees and wisped across a nearby shallow pond.
The tug of tiredness dulled my senses, numbing me. I’d been up the majority of the night briefing a handful of Institute officials on Damien, keeping my emotions in check behind a detached professionalism that I hadn’t known I was capable of. While we’d been talking, Damien had been killing.
I’d told the officials everything I knew and given them the caveat that demons behave differently on this side of the veil than they do on their home turf. They’re restrained here, governed by laws they don’t understand. Unless a demon has enough clout to bend reality, they usually try to blend in—until their efforts to disguise themselves fail.
Damien wasn’t there to blend in, but he wasn’t out to create chaos either. He was treading carefully, making sure he couldn’t be caught, feeling his way. His premeditation was something I hadn’t anticipated. The Damien I’d known hadn’t needed to tread carefully.
“There’s something different about you.” Coleman had finished talking with Detective Hill and joined me at the fringes of the crime scene. A strip of tape cordoned off the area around the body. The forensics team was inside, meticulously recording each drop of blood or speck of disturbed leaf mulch.
I leaned out around Coleman and watched Hill return to the incident van in the nearby parking area, where many of the Boston PD coordinated the investigation. I got the distinct impression Hill was avoiding me.
Coleman tucked his hands deep into his coat pockets. His shoulders slouched. His expression was grim. The damp air had settled in his hair and on his face. “Definitely something different...”
I smiled. His human senses were picking up on my newly returned demon.“I thought you were meant to be a detective?” I didn’t want to get into a conversation about my demon, where she had been, and what it meant to have her back, especially with a detective who had no reason to sympathize with demons. “Where’s the chain?” I’d already walked the scene.
“No chain. Early indications are he used the chain to restrain her but took it with him.”
“That’s different.”
“He may have been disturbed. The other victims were attacked in private residences. This one, he’d been watching. He followed her back from a late night drink with some friends at a bar not far from here.” Coleman must have read an unspoken inquiry on my face. “She has receipts in her purse. We’ve already confirmed with the bar owner that she was there.”
What d’yah know? Coleman can detect after all. I nodded and wondered what Ryder would make of the scene. Wounded, he was technically on desk-duty. Having his arm in a sling wouldn’t have stopped him from coming, but Adam had ordered him to stay behind to discuss my situation. What that meant exactly, I wasn’t sure, but for now, the Institute seemed content to let me roam free.
“Any witnesses?” I asked. The park sat at the heart of Boston and as parks go, wasn’t huge. Someone must have seen something.
; “Hill is checkin’ out a few leads, but nothing yet.” He removed his hands from his pockets and tugged on a pair of woolen gloves. “Charlie, has anyone considered that this guy might have a source inside the Institute?”
“Yeah. Adam was onto it straight away. They’ve locked down all the IDs of the Enforcers, but the people who work there... I just can’t see it being them. Most have dealt with demons in the past and not in a good way. They’re the most professional people I’ve ever known, and they take their work seriously, I mean cult-like seriously.” A few Enforcers batted around the motto “committed to the core,” and they weren’t wrong. “It could be someone there, but I doubt it. There’s another, more likely source, beyond the veil. A half-blood. We think he might have given Damien the information.”
“Half-blood?” Coleman frowned and held up a finger. “Wait, don’t tell me...” He glanced up, searching his thoughts. “A hybrid, right? Part demon?”
He’d been doing his homework. “What the demons call a hybrid, yeah. Like me. Half demon.” I waited for him to cringe or shrink back.
He nodded, as if reaffirming something in his mind. “We should talk. About demons, I mean. I could really use your expertise.”
I didn’t answer immediately. His request had thrown me off-guard. I’d assumed my half-blood nature had spooked him, but I’d been wrong. “I’m not sure the Institute would appreciate it. I’d likely get my wrists slapped for revealing classified information.”
He smiled, and the smile seemed to lift a hundred pound weight off his shoulders. His eyes brightened, and his face softened. I caught a glimpse of the man behind the badge. “You don’t strike me as the type to care.”
“I er... I’m...” He must have seen the surprise on my face because he held up a hand, an indication there was no need to defend myself. I hadn’t realized he’d been paying attention, at least not close enough to pick up on my distaste for Adam. It didn’t take a detective to figure out how much I hated that man.
Devil May Care: A Muse Urban Fantasy (The Veil Series Book 2) Page 8