by Emily Bishop
“Actually, I was hoping you could tell me,” I say after the load has been stuffed inside, standing up.
“Me?” Lucy looks puzzled. “I’m just a maid here, remember?”
“But you watch over him in between nannies, right?”
“Yeah. I guess I get that job. So, don’t you screw up, okay?”
I grin. “I’m trying not to. That’s why I’m asking for your help. Maybe you can give me a clue about how I can win David over?”
Lucy chuckles as she reaches for the detergent. “Winning the son over instead of the father. Well, that’s a first. If you ask me, though, it’s smart. If you win the son over, the father might follow.”
Really?
Wait. That’s not my intention.
“I can’t help you there, though.” Lucy puts the detergent into the drawer of the machine. “Frankly, I’m not sure if that boy can be won over. Maybe you should ask Zombie. He’s the only one who seems to have accomplished that.”
I frown. “Yeah. If only Zombie could talk. He’d sooner eat me, though.”
“I mean, look at me,” Lucy goes on. “After all these years, David still doesn’t like me.”
I touch my chin. “Do you know why?”
“Now, that I happen to know.” Lucy puts the detergent back. “It’s the reason why Harry is the only one he seems to like. Also, he told me himself once.”
“Why?” I ask curiously, excited.
This may be the clue I’ve been looking for.
Lucy sighs as she leans on the machine. “Simple. We’re girls. David doesn’t like girls.”
My eyebrows furrow. “He doesn’t?”
“He says that now. Give him a few more years and he’ll be all over girls. Right now, he hates us, though, probably as much as that cherry-flavored syrup he has to drink every day. Cherry-flavored, my ass. That does not taste like cherry.”
I remember the liquid multivitamin supplement I gave to David this morning and the expression on his face as he drank it. I guess it does not taste good.
“Why, though?” I ask Lucy, hoping to learn more. “Why doesn’t he like girls?”
“I don’t know. Aren’t all boys like that?”
Come to think of it, my cousins didn’t like me either when they were David’s age.
“Or maybe it’s some psychological thing like he thinks we’re all his mother and his mother left him so he hates his mother and he hates us.”
I look at Lucy. “Wow. That’s one… complicated theory.”
“Just something I got from Dr. Phil,” Lucy says. “But, nah, I don’t think that’s it.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “Me either.”
In the first place, David didn’t know his mother so he can’t be mad about her leaving. And she didn’t leave per se. She died, which I’m sure she didn’t want to do. I don’t think David would hate her for that.
Maybe hate is too strong a word. Maybe David just simply doesn’t like girls. The question is: Why?
“Sorry.” Lucy shrugs. “But I don’t think I can tell you anything more. You’re the new nanny so I guess you’ll have to figure it out for all of us.”
I nod. “Challenge accepted.”
Now, how do I find out why David doesn’t like girls?
I can think of probably the simplest, easiest method – ask him myself.
***
“Because girls are stinky, slow and stupid,” David gives me the answer without any qualms, crossing his arms over his puffed chest as he stands beside his bed.
I frown. “Who told you that?”
“I just know.” He sits on his bed and turns on the TV.
Yeah, right. I bet someone told him. A friend? A classmate? Or did he hear it from someone on TV?
I grab the remote and turn off the TV. “Young man, we’re not yet done talking, okay?”
“Oh, and girls talk too much,” he adds.
What the…?
I take a deep breath. Calm down, Sabrina. He’s just an eight-year-old boy.
“That’s not true, David. We are not stinky—”
“Ms. O’Donald is stinky. I keep feeling like I’m going to sneeze when I’m next to her.”
Probably, she put on too much perfume.
“And Jane is stinky. She keeps throwing up at school.”
“Well, maybe she’s sick. Anyway, those are just two girls. Not all girls stink. Do I stink?”
David doesn’t answer.
I’ll take that as a no.
“And we are definitely not slow or stupid,” I tell him as I sit near him. “In fact, we girls are just as quick, smart and strong as you boys.”
“No, you’re not,” he argues. “You’re fussy. All the girls in my class are fussy and all my nannies were, too.”
“Really?”
David nods. “They act like babies.”
I stand up and put my hands on my hips. “Well, I’m not fussy, David. I’m not a big baby. And tell you what, I’m going to prove it to you.”
He snorts. “How?”
“You tell me how.” I kneel in front of him. “You can give me three challenges.”
“Like dares?”
“Yes, like dares. If I can’t do them, then you can keep pushing me away and being mean to me…”
“And you have to give Zombie a bath and let me stay up until nine.”
I sigh. “Fine. But if I manage to do them all, then you, young man, have to promise that you’ll let me be your friend and that you’ll stop thinking that way about girls. Do we have a deal?”
He doesn’t answer at once. Probably, he’s weighing his chances.
“Well?” I urge. “Are you scared I might be able to prove you wrong? Even if I do, you have nothing to lose.”
He pouts. “Fine. We have a deal.”
“Good. Let’s shake on it.” I offer him my hand. “So, what’s your first challenge, sir?”
David touches his chin, a mischievous grin on his face. “Let’s see…”
Girl Power
Randall
What on Earth is going on?
Just a few minutes ago, I went to David’s room and neither he nor Sabrina were there. That’s fine. It’s not one of my rules for them to stay there at all times, after all. Now, though, as I approach the kitchen, I can hear David making weird noises and saying weird things like ‘brown vomit,’ ‘dog poop’ and ‘ants in your stomach.’
What the hell is happening?
As I enter the kitchen, I find out. At least, I see Sabrina on the counter, eating a burger. No, more like devouring the burger as fast as she can while David is sitting across her, watching her and cheering her on. No, not cheering her on but more trying to get her to vomit. In between them are two more plates, one empty except for some crumbs, and the other with another burger. The kitchen timer is there, too, ticking away, right beside a pitcher and a glass of water.
Okay. I think I know what’s going on. I’m still confused, though. Why is Sabrina speed-eating burgers and why does David want her to fail?
“David.” I approach them. “Was this your idea?”
“No,” he answers, quickly glancing at me before turning back to Sabrina.
Sabrina, on the other hand, just waves at me and then continues eating as she glances at the timer.
No? So, this was Sabrina’s idea? I find that hard to believe. If it is, though, then she must have a good reason behind it.
As she finishes the second burger, she grabs the glass of water, gulping it down. Then she pushes her plate away and grabs the third, cutting the burger on it into four and chomping away at the first quarter. She seems to be struggling now, though, slowing down.
“Spit it out! Spit it out!” David cheers as he beats his fist on the counter.
“David,” I warn him.
“What?” He shrugs. “It’s part of it.”
I guess it isn’t unfair. Even so, I can’t help but want Sabrina to succeed at whatever this challenge is and glancing at her, she seems to be having a tough time alread
y.
Unable to resist, I grab one of the quarters of the burger, hoping to help her.
“No!” both Sabrina and David shout at the same time, Sabrina with her mouth still full.
“Sabrina has to finish all that by herself or she loses,” David explains.
Fine. I put down the piece of burger and anxiously wait for her to finish. I want to cheer her on but I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. I don’t even know if she should be doing this.
Finally, she’s on her last quarter of burger and David looks scared, especially since there are still sixty seconds left on the timer. She goes through this one quicker than the rest, then gets off her stool and puts her hands, ketchup, mustard and mayo-coated fingers and all, up in the air.
David has the opposite reaction, his face falling on the counter like he was just the one who ate a ton of burgers.
“Oh, man.”
Done with cheering, Sabrina washes her hands and mouth, then goes back to the counter to drink another glass of water.
“Now, could you please tell me what’s going on?” I ask her.
She sets her glass down. “Your son and I made a deal. Basically, he gets to dare me to do three things that he thinks girls can’t normally do and if I do them, he’ll start thinking better of girls and be my friend. This is the first challenge. Well, technically it’s the second but…”
“First,” David says. “The one with the bugs was a trial.”
“Bugs?” I ask curiously.
“You know how your son already has his collection of fake bugs? So, the first challenge was for me to lie down on the floor and stay still for ten minutes while he covers me with those bugs, and mind you, there was a real beetle mixed in. But, hey, I did it.”
“But that doesn’t count?”
“It’s a trial,” David says again. “This is the first challenge.”
“Yup. So, this time, he told me to eat three burgers in ten minutes and that’s what I did.” Sabrina grins triumphantly as she lifts the three empty plates on the counter. “So, I guess we’re down to two, right, David?”
He doesn’t answer, lifting his face but still letting his chin rest on the counter. “Are you sure you’re a girl?”
“Of course, I am, silly.” Sabrina chuckles as she ruffles his hair. “What? Do you think I’m wearing a disguise?”
“Hey. Don’t touch my hair.” He smooths his hair again.
“Sorry. I forgot boys are touchier about their hair than girls are.”
“Are not.” David gets off his stool. “I’ll think of something harder next time.”
“You do that,” Sabrina says, getting back on her stool. “I’ll call you when it’s time for your dinner.”
“Do your homework,” I call after him as he walks out of the kitchen.
“Already did it,” he says before disappearing.
“Yup, he did it before we started,” Sabrina confirms.
She lets out a deep breath as she folds her arms on top of the counter and buries her face in them.
“Hey. Are you all right?” I ask as I go around the counter so I can stand beside her.
“Sorry you had to see that,” she mumbles.
“Don’t worry about it.” I sit in the stool beside her. “In fact, I have to say I’m impressed. I’ve never seen a woman eat that fast before.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment.” She lifts her head. “And I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that fast before. Have you?”
“Maybe. But I’ve never tried an eating challenge before so you beat me to that. And you won, too. You should be proud of yourself.”
“I don’t feel like a winner.” She touches her stomach. “I feel so full I don’t think I can eat anything for a week.”
“Too bad. I was going to ask if you’d like me to make you a burger this weekend. I make pretty mean burgers.” I look around the kitchen and lower my voice. “Better than Mrs. Wilson’s.”
“I’ll pass.” She buries her face in her arms again. “I don’t think I can eat another burger for the rest of my life.”
I rest my arms on the counter. “Well, at least they were burgers and not like heaps of mashed potatoes or burritos. And at least there were only three.”
“Yup. If there had been more than that, I definitely would have lost.”
“So, what’s the deal again? You pull off three dares and David will start acting nice to you?”
“That’s the deal.”
I shake my head. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
“I don’t think it would work with you. You’re a guy.”
I crease my eyebrows. “You did say something about girls.”
“Your son doesn’t like girls.” She lifts her face again, this time resting them on her hands as she props her elbows on the counter.
“He doesn’t?” I never thought of that. “Well, I guess most of his friends are boys.”
“That’s normal. But thinking that girls are stupid or being mean to them and pushing them all away just because they’re girls isn’t. So I’m trying to teach your son a lesson.”
“By having yourself covered in bugs and letting him encourage you to throw up?”
“By doing things your son thinks girls can’t do.”
“So, earn his trust and make him think girls aren’t so bad?” I tap my fingers on the counter. “That’s a big weight you took upon your shoulders.”
“I know, but I have to do it.” She raises her fist. “For all the girls. We–”
She stops, covering her mouth as she coughs.
“Are you all right?” I ask again, looking at her.
“I’m okay.” Suddenly, she burps. “Oops. Sorry.”
“No worries.”
Sabrina runs her hands through her hair. “You must think I’m a slob now, huh?”
“No.”
Actually, I can’t think of anything that could make me want her less.
“In fact, I should thank you for doing this,” I tell her. “You’re the first nanny to go through these lengths just to get along with David.”
“Yeah. I got that impression from Lucy.” She looks at me. “I don’t understand why the previous nannies didn’t, though.”
“They probably thought it wasn’t part of their job to care.” I grab the fork on a plate and start twirling it around. “Or maybe they didn’t want to get attached. How about you? Why do you care so much?”
“Because I don’t like seeing anyone lonely.” She clasps her hands on top of the counter. “Because I want to make a difference, however small it may be.”
“Trust me. If you succeed, it won’t be a small difference.”
“If I succeed.” She rests her cheek on the counter. “Until then, spare your thanks.”
“I’m sure you’ll succeed.”
She turns her head and narrows her eyes at me. “Are you putting pressure on me?”
“No. I’m just expressing my confidence.”
“To tell you the truth, I’m not that confident.” She gets the fork from my hand and twirls it herself. “I’m not even confident I can get out of my bed once I’m in there. I just feel so full, like an anaconda after a meal. I must have gained ten pounds.”
“Then why don’t you spend a few minutes at the gym with me tomorrow morning?” I suggest, resting my jaw on my hand as I look at her.
“Gym?”
“Yup. You know, that place with the dumbbells and the benches and all those nice machines. My favorite place in all the world.”
“I know what a gym is,” she tells me, lifting her head. “I’ve just never been to one.”
“Well, you’re in luck because I happen to have one.”
“I knew that.”
“So, let’s work out a bit tomorrow? Burn some calories and get rid of the pounds from those burgers?”
She frowns. “Are you challenging me, too?”
“I’m offering you a chance to feel better,” I say.
And to spend some t
ime with me.
“Fine. I’ll meet you at the gym tomorrow after David has gone to school.”
“Good.” I give her a wide smile. “I’ll be waiting. And you don’t have to worry about a thing. I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”
***
“So, this is the bench press.” I point to the equipment as we walk through the gym. “It’s one of my best friends. And this here is the dipping bar and that’s the squat station and that there is the leg extension machine.”
“Leg extension machine?” Sabrina lifts an eyebrow. “It sounds like a torture device. Actually, most of these machines do. They look like it, too.”
I chuckle. “Oh, come on. They’re not that bad. Anyway, you’re not going to use any of those. You’re just going to stick to the cardio equipment and then maybe do ten dumbbell rows for strength.”
“Okay.” She still doesn’t look happy.
“Hey. Chin up. Whatever happened to that girl power, huh?”
“I just feel a little out of my depth here. That’s all. But I’m ready.”
I smile. “That’s the spirit. Now, let’s start some breathing exercises and some stretches.”
“All right.”
I stand a few feet across her and start warming up, setting examples for her to follow. Then when we’re done, I gesture to the treadmill.
“Now, let’s try this one, all right?”
“Are you sure that it’s okay for me to wear this, though?” She looks at her shirt, jogging pants and sneakers.
“Yup. It will do for now. I’ll just have to get you some proper clothes later on.”
I can just imagine how hot she’ll look in a sports bra and tight shorts.
She frowns. “You mean, I have to do this regularly?”
“Come on. You’ll love it. And it’s good for you.”
Sabrina sighs. “Why is it that most things that are good for you are so damn hard?”
“Hey. Enough with the complaints. Just step up on the machine and we’ll get you started.”
She obeys. “All I have to do is run on this one, right?”
“Yup.”
As she jogs, her breasts bounce and I fix my gaze to the machine and force myself to remain calm. Every part of me.
I’ve trained many women before. I’ve never looked at them the way I’m watching her.