You are a funny little thing. His voice hurt much less this time, which puzzled her. He seemed to have changed his mind about killing her.
He didn't choose to explain. Instead his thought-voice went on. I suppose you have no idea why you are compelled to seek this Jewel.
Alanna cradled her palms against her chest, too tired to rise. "It's for the glory of Tortall." Her throat hurt from screaming. "There isn't a nation existing that can't profit from the Dominion Jewel. And bringing it home would be to the glory of the knight who brought it. If it's yours, though, it's yours. Now that I think of it, I don't know how the famous heroes of the past were able to take things from the entities that guarded them—not if they were as noble as the stories claim. When you look at it right, it is stealing."
The ape shook his head, plainly amused. In a hand that was empty a moment ago, he offered a many-faceted purple gem. When she stared at him without moving, he placed it on her chest.
What use have I for a jewel? His outline turned blurry.
"Are you one of the gods?" she asked as he began to fade. Suddenly she had a hundred things she wanted to know from him.
No. I come from before. Your gods are children to my brethren and me.
Alanna could barely see the ape, and the air was getting perceptibly cooler. She scrambled to her feet. "Then who are you?"
I am this place, and these mountains. I suppose you might call me an elemental. Now his voice began to fade.
"How did you come by the Jewel?" She struggled to put on her clothing, trying to ignore the pain in her hands. The Jewel she stuffed into a pocket.
It finds its way to me from time to time. Not often, but now and then. I made it, and I keep it because I like to have company. I shall be entertained by your visit for centuries of human time. You mortals are quite interesting!
She could feel no sense of him at all when she finished dressing, which may have been just as well. She was not sure she liked the idea of being "entertainment" for anyone, elemental or no.
She found her way to the mouth of the cave and looked out, clinging to the rim of the opening. Dawn was coming, and she had no way to return to the inn.
"No wonder he gave me the Jewel," she muttered, sliding down to sit on the rock floor. "I'm going to die here anyway." She knew the idea should bother her, but it didn't. Her eyelids were getting heavy, and she barely noticed the cold. Pulling her cloak over her face, she went to sleep.
SHE WAS WARM—all of her, not parts. She could smell clean linen and herbal salves. Forcing her eyes open, Alanna wondered how long she'd been out.
"Never again." Her voice was harsh in her ears. "I won't spend another winter in the cold." Her eyes watered as she tried to look around.
"You could've fooled me." The deep rumble was Liam's voice. "If a man went by the way you act, he'd think you live to freeze!"
She sighed. "I'm sorry," she whispered. He was slowly coming into focus, and she wasn't surprised to see that his eyes were pure emerald in color.
"Sorry?" His voice cracked on the word.
"I'm sorry I had to go into a blizzard at all. I wasn't given a choice, remember?"
"You had your gods-cursed cat witch me!"
Alanna tried to push herself upright and winced: her hands were heavily bandaged and throbbed under the weight she'd put on them. "Ironarm, stop it! Aren't there times when you act alone?"
"This isn't the same!"
"Horse dung it isn't. People like us have to know when to break rules. This was one of those times, and I was right to do it. I am sorry I hurt you. Chitral didn't leave me much of a choice."
He walked out without looking at her.
Thayet came in a few minutes later with a pitcher of mulled cider. A maid followed with a tray of food, and Alanna's stomach growled a welcome. Seeing tearstains on Alanna's face, Thayet said, "The Dragon will be all right." She poured a cup of cider and helped Alanna to drink it. "He was worried sick about you. We all were."
"The Jewel?" Alanna didn't want to talk about Liam. "Where is it?"
"Under your pillow. Can you manage a spoon?"
Alanna looked at a bowl of porridge dotted with dried fruit and cream. "I'll manage if it kills me."
Unfortunately, she couldn't handle a spoon. Thayet fed her, ignoring Alanna's protests. "You've been asleep almost a week," the princess said. "The storm was over when we woke up. You were out there when it stopped?" Alanna nodded.
"There was a tremor of some kind—a little earthquake—just after dawn," Thayet continued. "When it was over, the pass was clear. The innkeeper and some of the guests ran for a temple at that point, I think. You remember the Doi who were staying here? They went out and brought you down, slung over a pony. They said they found you in front of a cave near the top of the pass. You were a mess."
"Can I talk to them?" Alanna wanted to know. "Thank them?"
Thayet shook her head. "They're gone. They left when you started to get better. Buri says they don't like to be thanked."
"Did—the healers say how I am?"
Thayet put down the spoon. "You'll have a scar from your neck to your abdomen, right between your breasts. Your hands will mend. They said you'd do better once you woke up and used your own Gift on them." Reminded by this, Alanna felt for her magic and found it. Her rest had restored it to full strength. Thayet began to tidy up, saying, "The Doi healer said your hands will always know when it's going to storm."
"'Old swordsmen and their scars know the coming rain,' " Alanna quoted—it was a common saying. "I suppose I had to pay for this somehow."
"Was it worth the price?"
"I don't know." Alanna drew the Jewel from beneath her pillow and looked at it. The gem fit neatly into the center of her palm. "Thayet, do you want this? For Sarain? It seems as if you need it more than Tortall does right now." She offered it to the Princess, who stepped back with an odd look on her face. The Jewel began to shimmer with an internal light, until Thayet pushed Alanna's hand away.
"No female can hold the Saren throne." Her voice was soft. "The Book of Glass forbids it. Children hear tales of other lands, less wise than ours, who came to grief because they let a woman rule. The chiefs of the Hau Ma, the Churi, and the Raadeh are women, but they're K'mir, and everyone knows the K'mir are savages."
"Tortall isn't like the K'mir, but it isn't that bad, either," Alanna said. The bitterness in Thayet's voice hurt.
"All my life I've been worthless, the one who should have been a male and an heir. My father was kind, in his way—I take after him in looks." Thayet rubbed the arch of her nose. "But he never forgot I wasn't a boy. Every morning the Daughters of the Goddess and the Mithran priests have orders to pray for a jin Wilima in their daybreak services."
Alanna swallowed. If he'd loved his daughter, how could the Warlord have humiliated her like that? "Thayet, I'm sorry."
The Princess didn't hear. "I'll tell you something else, Lady Knight. In Tortall you lied about your sex and kept it secret for years, but when the truth came out, you were allowed to keep your shield. We heard about you at my father's court. The majority opinion was that you should be burned, although one group held out for death by torture." Thayet put the tray beside the door. "I thought Tortall sounded like Paradise. It's certainly an improvement on my father's palace or the convents, and it has to be better than what I'll get if I return to Sarain now."
"You didn't have to tell me any of this." Alanna slid the Jewel beneath her pillow again. "A simple 'no' would've worked."
The Princess's face had been hard and distant. Slowly she brightened. "A 'simple no'?" she repeated, amused. "Alanna, my very dear, you're an incredibly high-minded person, have you noticed? You take duty and responsibility seriously. If you believed I turned my back on Sarain for a whim or a fit of temper, you'd lose any respect you have for me." She put a hand on the knight's shoulder. "Before I met you, I thought the women of our class were useless. Those who go to Shang are commoners. Noble families chain their daughters in their
rooms rather than permit them that life. The K'mir have no one of noble blood, only people who earn their honors. But you and I come from overbred families, good as ornaments and nothing more. And you are far from useless."
Alanna blushed. "Thayet, you're flattering me. It was easier for me to rebel than stay and make something of myself. Why didn't I go to convent school and prove ladies are more than ornaments that way?"
Thayet's look was skeptical. "What I'm trying to say is that I look forward to creating my own life. In Tortall I can, because I'll be without rank or title." She sat on the bed. "I'm going to start a school for the children of commoners. Once I sell my jewels, I'll have plenty of money to do so."
Alanna, who had different plans for Thayet, said hastily, "I won't cast you adrift when we're there! You'll be our guest—Thom's and Myles's and mine. The school's a grand idea, but there are ways and ways to start one."
Thayet shrugged. "Look at me, rattling on when you just woke up." Firmly, she tucked blankets around Alanna. "Try to sleep some more." She left, carrying the tray.
Sleep was the last thing Alanna wanted. She'd had a week of it. With an effort she threw off her blankets and stood. Leaning against a bedpost for support, she took inventory: twisted leg—stiff but painless; assorted bruises—fine; gash on her chest and bitten lip—cleanly healed; eyes—teary but working; hands—she didn't want to think about her hands. Not bad, considering.
She dressed in garments that could be pulled on. Buttons and buckles were more than she could handle. She tucked her feet into slippers and clumsily ran a brush through her hair. Keeping a watch for well-meaning persons who might shoo her back to her room, she escaped to the stables.
The stableboy ran when he saw her, which was convenient. There are times in every rider's life when it is necessary to apologize to a horse, but Alanna preferred not to have witnesses. It was too embarrassing. Moonlight tried to stay aloof as her knight-mistress entered her stall. Alanna offered an apple stolen from the common room, stroking the mare and whispering compliments. Soon Moonlight was nudging and nuzzling, plainly checking Alanna's hooves, withers and flanks. The salve on Alanna's bandages made the mare sneeze.
"I wish Liam forgave this easily," sighed Alanna. She looked up to see Faithful sitting on the gate. "Are you angry too?"
I know why you went. Moonlight and the others were worried, the cat said. I've been staying here since the Dragon woke and found you gone. Horses are calmer people. They also don't throw things at cats. He climbed onto her shoulder, draping himself around Alanna's neck.
"Poor Faithful. He didn't really throw things, did he?"
Only when he saw me.
Someone coughed. Coram had been grooming Anvil. Now he leaned against the bay's stall, watching.
"Are you going to yell at me, too?" Alanna asked warily.
"I should, I expect. I thought I raised ye to treat blizzards with more respect."
"I did. If you hadn't taught me how to dress, how to survive, I wouldn't be here now." Alanna wanted so much for him to say it was all right. She couldn't bear it if she lost Coram and Liam both.
"Surely ye're not tellin' me it was a simple matter of layerin' yer clothes and usin' snowshoes." There was a mocking gleam in his eye.
"No. I used my Gift. Coram, I didn't have a choice. If I'd walked out of here on a sunny day, Chitral—the being that holds the pass—would've dumped another storm right on my head. If there was a safe way to get the Jewel, I would've followed it gladly." To her shame, Alanna felt tears dripping down her cheeks. "Please don't be angry with me."
Coram walked over and put his arms around her. "There, now, Lioness," he whispered, holding Alanna tightly. "It's just hard to see ye all grown up and doin' mighty things." He wiped Alanna's eyes with his handkerchief. "Though I don't know why I'm surprised, since ye always told me ye would." He put the handkerchief to her nose. "Blow," he said firmly. She obeyed, just as she had when she was five. "That's my girl."
BURI, Thayet, and Coram came to share Alanna's dinner, setting their own meals up on tables so they could eat together. Since the inn's healer had examined and rebandaged her hands, Alanna could use her own knife and fork. That alone lifted her spirits—being fed made her feel helpless. Once the maids cleaned up, they roasted chestnuts in the hearth and told stories until everyone was yawning. Thayet was gathering up her beadwork when Alanna said, "If it's all right, I'd like to go the day after tomorrow."
"Are you crazy?" Buri demanded. "You just got up! You said yourself you won't be able to grip anything but a fork or spoon for a week!"
Alanna shrugged. "I'd just like to set out. I'll be all right." Meeting Coram's eyes, she added, "Moonlight won't let me fall."
Shaking her head, Thayet sighed. "We'll see how you feel tomorrow."
Buri stayed when the other two went out. "I want you to know that it's an honor to ride with you, wherever," the girl said shyly. "I just hope someday you'll tell me what happened. It must've been awful, the shape you're in." She grinned.
"The innkeeper won't take payment, did Thayet tell you? The healer won't, either. The grooms fight over who works on our horses, especially yours. The maids cut up the napkin you used for lunch, so they can each have a bit."
"Buri, that's crazy!" Alanna protested.
"Ask them," Buri said impishly. "They say you parted the snows and walked up there to do battle with the God of the Roof for his Jewel."
"All this will happen to you someday, once you go out and start performing great deeds," Alanna threatened as the girl opened the door. Buri winked and left. "What nonsense!" Alanna said to Faithful.
The inn has filled up over the last three days, was the cat's lazy reply. The innkeeper raised his prices. He expects a very good year—several very good years, in fact. Word gets around fast. He yawned and tucked his nose beneath his tail.
Muttering about human folly, Alanna tossed the bedclothes aside and went downstairs. Since her friends had been with her until late, only a few people remained in the common room, most of them drinkers who were oblivious to anything. The innkeeper and a maidservant were cleaning up. Liam sat before the fire in a low chair, feet crossed before him, frowning.
"I thought Shang warriors were too dignified to sulk." Alanna hooked a stool over so she could sit in front of him.
"Go away, Lady Alanna," he sighed, reaching for a tankard and draining it. The innkeeper came with another tankard and a pitcher, pouring mulled cider for them both before making himself scarce.
Baffled and hurt, Alanna pinched an earlobe to keep from crying. When she had herself under control again, she rasped, "What's wrong with you? Are you offended because I didn't take your manly advice? D'you think I did something you couldn't have? Is your pride hurt?" She looked at her bandaged hands; they were trembling.
A massive hand gripped her chin, turning her face so he could stare into her eyes. "Put yourself in my boots." His voice was soft, his face tight. "I sat here wondering if you'd live while all around me folk talked about those who died of the cold. Moonlight tried to break down the stable door. The hostlers had to drug her. Coram—I never want to see a man that drunk again. Thayet and Buri were fine. Why shouldn't they be fine? You witched them. Just like you witched me."
That's it, Alanna realized. She had known how he felt about magic and she had let Faithful spell him anyway. Liam would never trust her again. "Are we finished, then?" she whispered.
He let her go. She continued to watch him, waiting. "I don't know, kitten."
At the use of her nickname she felt her chin tremble and her eyes fill. "I am sorry. I know it doesn't do any good, but I am. If you'd awakened, you'd've stopped me."
Liam nodded. His eyes faded from emerald to a blue-grey she'd never seen before. "Seems there's nothing we can do, right? I can't help the way I feel. Not about the Gift. And you can't help but use it, nor should you. A tool is meant to be used." After a moment he swallowed and added, "I'm sorry, too." His voice was cracking. "You probably saw I had
my things moved to another room."
"Can we be friends, still?"
"I promise it." He couldn't keep the relief from his voice, which hurt Alanna more than anything he'd actually said. She made her excuses and went upstairs to cry over Liam Ironarm one more time.
TWO DAYS later they set out. Alanna couldn't shake the sense that she had to go home, and her companions had caught the feeling from her. Most of the inn's staff appeared sorry to say good-bye, although some—like the stableboy—hid their eyes in the Doi gesture of fear and respect when they passed. Alanna tossed a gold noble to the boy, wanting to make up for the fright her sleep-spell had given him. He dropped it with a yelp, refusing to touch it until a maidservant had picked it up.
On the road, Alanna stopped for a last glance at Chitral Pass. The snow was nearly gone after the spate of spring temperatures that had followed her adventure. Green showed on the rocky walls leading up into the surrounding mountains. A party of trappers was headed up into Chitral as another company descended from Lumuhu Pass. Alanna wondered if Chitral watched her and waved a farewell in case he did.
That night they stopped at an inn they'd used on the way north. Where before they had been treated no differently from other wayfarers, now they were honored guests. The news of Alanna's feat and her possession of the Jewel had spread rapidly, and the inn's staff made it plain they considered no service to be too small for them to give Alanna and her friends. The landlord refused payment at first but learned that the Shang Dragon could be very persistent. The company received the same treatment from the staff of the next inn, where they spent their second night on the southern road.
As their third day's ride drew to a close, Alanna thought wistfully of a camp under the stars. It would be chilly, like any other mountain night, but they would have privacy. If the next inn was like the last two, privacy would be in short supply. Burdened as she was with mending hands, Alanna didn't want to mention it. The others would have to do her work if they camped.
Song of the Lioness #4 - Lioness Rampant Page 10