Gaea set aside her little harp and stood. She had been middle-aged, but now she was in her lovely young state and her housecoat had become a summer dress which caressed her contours. Bright daisies formed a diadem in her hair. She was as lovely as a summer creature could be.
She stepped into the man and kissed him. They made a perfect couple, and they certainly seemed to be in love. Both Orlene and Vita were astounded.
I thought she was married to— Orlene thought.
Who the hell is this guy? Vita thought.
Now Jolie spoke. "Girls, meet Natasha, the handsomest man of the realm," she said as the couple broke from their close embrace.
Natasha's a MAN? Vita thought.
The man turned from Gaea. "Ah, Jolie," he said. "Come to me."
Jolie did. She stepped into his embrace exactly as Gaea had, and kissed him as ardently.
Holy refuse! Vita thought. Orlene, stunned, thought nothing.
"And Natasha," Jolie said as the kiss ended, "meet my present host, Vita, and Orlene, Gaea's daughter. I am turning the body over to her."
Orlene, suddenly thrust into control, stood in Natasha's loosening embrace. "How glad I am to meet you, Orlene," he said. "You are the daughter of one of the women I love."
"But Gaea's married!" Orlene exclaimed.
Natasha glanced at Gaea, smiling. "Oh, is she? So am I. Why should Mars be the only one with two lovely women?"
Orlene pulled herself away, actually spluttering. "I don't know who you are, but—"
"He is here to guide you to Hell," Gaea said. "I believe he knows a secret access."
Orlene realized that there was some kind of joke going on. "He's a damned soul?"
"Close enough," Natasha said. "Come with me; I believe we can get in unobserved, if we move quickly."
"But—"
Go with him, Jolie thought.
Why should she go with this handsome freak? Vita demanded. He's two-timing his wife; how can we trust him?
He is the world's greatest liar, Jolie agreed. But we can trust him.
Orlene, disgruntled, knowing that she wasn't quite catching something obvious, shrugged. "I will go with you, Natasha. But I would like an explanation."
Natasha put his hand on her elbow. "You shall surely have it. Tell me about yourself; I want very much to know."
Tell him, Jolie thought.
Bemused, Orlene started in. "I am Gaea's natural daughter, given up as a baby for adoption. I married a ghost—"
She broke off, for they were sinking through the ground. The layers of cloud were passing like the vapors they were.
"Continue," he said.
"And had a baby for him, but my baby died, and I killed myself. Now I am trying to recover him from Nox, and I need Satan's help."
"Nox? The Incarnation of Night?"
"Yes. She has my son. She set me a list of things I must get from each major Incarnation, and from Satan I need a curse. Only when the list is complete can I recover my baby and cure him of his malady of the soul."
The cloud dissipated. They stood in a stony cell. Ahead was a curving passage, lighted by guttering and smoky torches. "Follow this passage," Natasha said. "It will lead you to Satan's suite. I will conduct you back from this spot when you are finished with him."
"I have to walk alone through Hell?" Orlene asked, appalled.
"This is a privileged passage. No demon will molest you as long as you remain in it. Be sure you do not leave it, however." He urged her forward, letting go her elbow.
Orlene took a step, then turned. "I really don't—"
But Natasha was gone.
It's alt right, Jolie said. What he said is true: this is a passage only special guests may use. We are quite safe here, though it passes through the center of Hell to reach Satan's suite. We may pause and look at anything along the way, as long as we do not go astray.
Orlene started walking. There were windows along the sides, opening into assorted chambers. In each chamber was some activity, but the nature of it wasn't clear at a casual glance.
Orlene paused at one, in which a man sat, holding a wound in his chest. Blood was oozing, and he seemed to be in extreme pain. "Is he alive?" she asked, horrified. "I thought there were only damned souls here!"
The man heard her. "I am a damned soul," he gasped. "I am suffering what seems like eternal agony."
"What did you do to deserve this?" she asked, morbidly interested.
"I drag-raced a motorcycle." He seemed to be able to speak well enough, if haltingly, despite the wound.
"What?"
"I was in a pickup truck, on the nonmagic level of the highway. This motorcycle challenged me, so naturally I gunned my motor. I won—but I wasn't looking where I was going. I caromed off a slow car and vaulted into the opposite lane at high speed. I crashed head-on into a school bus, killing twenty-seven people. I died myself—and woke at the entrance to Hell. That was twenty years ago, and I still have a thousand years or so to work off."
"But that looks like a bullet wound!" Orlene said. "How could that happen in a highway crash?"
"It didn't. I was never shot."
"But—"
He made an agonized smile. "This isn't my injury I'm suffering. Nor is it that of any of the passengers who died in the crash. It is that of a dog."
"A dog!"
"You see, most of those passengers killed in the wreck were young-schoolchildren, in fact. They did not have a lot of sin on their souls, but they did have some. They would have been detained in Purgatory for a while, or somewhere, until they had absolved their sins and were ready for Heaven. But they weren't supposed to be dead yet. Probably they would have absolved those sins in life, before dying naturally at some later date. That's where I come in."
"Because you denied them that chance!" Orlene said, catching on.
"Right. I must endure their punishments, because they might not have had them on their records if I hadn't caused them to die early. It will take me centuries to catch up on all those sins of all those people, but it's worth it, because at least I am repaying some measure of what I took from them."
"But how does a dog—"
"One of them was a boy who was playing with a gun and shot his neighbor's dog. To cover up, he dragged the dog into a vacant lot and buried it. He was never caught; the neighbor assumed the dog had run away."
Orlene looked more closely at the man. "I see you are bleeding from the wound—but should that be over soon? How long did that dog take to die?"
"It wasn't a clean wound," the man said. "The dog didn't die from it."
"Didn't die! But you said the boy buried it!"
"Yes. The dog suffocated to death underground. I don't look forward to that part of it."
Orlene was appalled, despite the seeming justice of the punishment. "At least it will be over soon."
"In a few hours, yes," he gasped. "But, of course, that's only this replay."
"Replay?"
"I have to do it again, and again, until I have completely repented the act. That might have taken a hundred times, for that boy."
"But you didn't even do it! How can you truly repent what you never did?"
"I agree it is a problem," the man said. "I suppose that's why I haven't yet gotten beyond the first case."
"The first case? The first one killed in that accident?"
"The first significant sin of the first one killed," the man agreed.
"How—How many repetitions have there been?"
"So far? I don't know. I lost count at ten thousand."
"Ten thousand!"
"Several years ago, I think. But, of course, I'm not very good at keeping time, here in this featureless cell. You are the first visitor I have had."
Orlene remained appalled at the thing he had done. She had no sympathy at all for those who took the lives of children, because she knew exactly what it felt like to lose a child. But this was ridiculous! The man would never succeed in expiating the sins of his victims, let alone his
own. He was suffering pointlessly.
Now he was turning color, his gasping worse. He was going into the suffocation stage. "Is there anything I can do for you?" Orlene asked, feeling somewhat helpless and foolish, but compelled by her nature.
He wrenched a clenched eye open. "Maybe if you could ask Satan to let me get on to the next Atonement..." Then he went into a horrible shuddering, and she quickly moved on, unable to watch further.
God Almighty! Vita thought. This sure as hell is Hell!
It is a typical case, Jolie thought. There are millions of them here. We can stop and interview any others we wish to.
But Orlene faced straight forward, refusing to look left or right. She had seen more than enough of Hell.
It was a long passage, however, and she could not avoid hearing the piteous groans and seeing peripherally the struggles of those in unnatural agony. Truly, this was Hell.
At last she reached the end of it. There was a door, with a neat placard: SATAN. She knocked.
"Enter," a familiar voice called, and the door went up in flame. Beyond was a very attractive suite, with pleasant couches and pictures of green meadows on the wall.
She stepped in. A man came forward to greet her—or rather a demon came, with a grotesque face, horns, tail, and clothing formed of dancing flames.
Brother! Jolie thought, amused.
Alerted by this, Orlene looked more closely. "That's a mask!" she exclaimed. "And a costume!"
Satan shrugged. His tail fell off and the flames faded into a conventional flame-colored suit. He raised a hand to lift away the mask.
"Natasha!" Orlene cried, astonished.
"Which is 'Ah Satan' spelled backwards," he agreed. "You may also call Me Parry, after My mortal name, or Father, as you please."
"What silly joke is this?" she demanded, anger infusing her surprise.
Listen to him, Jolie thought firmly.
"I am Satan," he said. "I have many alternate guises. I wooed and won Jolie when I was Parry and lost her when she died, and again when I was corrupted by the demoness Lilah—"
"Who?"
"You know her as Lila, Mars' concubine. She left Me for him. I was not pleased at the time, but it is true I had neglected her, and in any event I need no demoness now. In the present age I assumed the guise of Natasha, and wooed and won Orb before telling her I was Satan. She married Me nonetheless, as Gaea, but for a complicated reason we never consummated the marriage. So My ancient concubine now sleeps with your natural father, and I am your stepfather the husband of your natural mother. This is why I asked Jolie to watch over you and to be your guardian and friend. It was not appropriate for Me to do it myself."
All true, Jolie thought. I am with Gaea, but it was Satan who sent me to you.
"I am—the stepdaughter of Satan," Orlene said, stunned. Yet she realized that she had known it, on a buried level; the intertwined relationships had been coming clear, following her death.
"And I love you as Jolie does," he continued. "As we would love the child we never had. I do not expect or require that this love be returned; in no other respect are you any creature of Mine. But I would do anything for you that a father would." He squinted at her. "But why don't you assume your natural form?" As he spoke, her body changed, assuming the aspect of her living state, rather than Vita's.
"I—I come to ask a favor," Orlene said.
"So I understand. Ask."
"I need a curse, to save my baby. To put the fear of evil in him, which fear he does not yet have."
Satan shook his head. "My blessing you could readily have, for it is worthless. But a curse—this is no minor thing. I cannot give you that; you would have to earn it."
"I will try." How well she knew that Incarnations did not lightly grant their favors!
"You see, by such a curse I would actually be doing the work of Mine Ancient Adversary, God. I would be causing a soul which would otherwise come to Me to go instead to Him. I would have to take equivalent value."
"If—If I could save my baby's soul, at the cost of mine, I would do that."
"No. Your soul is far too good for My realm! Besides, neither Jolie nor Orb would forgive me that. Ask something simpler, and I will grant it freely."
Orlene hesitated. "There is something—I know it is not my business, but—"
"Let Me be the arbiter of our business! Speak!"
"There is a man being tortured, in a chamber along the passage through which I came. He—I know he deserves punishment. But what he is suffering is pointless. He is in a closed loop, suffering for another person's sin, which he can never ameliorate. If he could just be nudged into the next Atonement—"
"You refer to the idiot who killed twenty-seven people and himself in a highway crash?"
"That one, yes. He doesn't ask for mercy, only for—"
"I agree. What he is suffering is pointless. The same may be said of many thousands of murderers who must suffer in lieu of their victims. But this is a thing I lack the authority to grant."
"But if you are the Master of Hell—"
"I am the Master of Hell. But not of the underlying definitions. The matter of Good and Evil can only be decided by a joint committee of God and Satan, and there has been no communication between We Two for centuries. I feel the definitions are long overdue for updating, if only to eliminate glitches such as this, but I cannot make that decision unilaterally. Only if God agrees may we work on this."
"But why doesn't God agree?" she asked plaintively.
Satan grimaced. "I fear you will just have to ask Him. He will not speak to Me."
"As it happens, I must go to Him next. Certainly I shall ask!"
"Lotsa luck," Satan murmured.
"And the curse—how may I earn that?"
Satan paced the floor, considering. "It occurs to Me there may be a way around that. You may not need My curse at all, or any of the other favors from Incarnations. I believe I can get Nox to release your baby, cured, now."
Ouch! Jolie thought to herself. He's Tempting her!
But Vita picked it up. What do you mean? Is he going to renege? They were communicating to each other, not to Orlene, whose attention was externally directed.
Satan is never that simple. Oh, I must not interfere, but I fear for her!
Well, then, I'll warn her!
No, you must not! She must endure it alone, or it doesn't count.
Orlene, meanwhile, hardly dared believe. "You can do this? How?"
"Anticipating your request, I availed Myself of the time you took walking the passage to visit the Incarnation of Night. She agreed to allow Me to try it my way."
"My baby!" Orlene breathed, her eyes shining. "Oh, how can this be?"
"You need do nothing arduous. A simple agreement on your part will suffice."
"An agreement?"
Now comes the kicker, Jolie thought. He is so smooth, I hate it when he's doing such business. I never should have let her come here!
"You are staying with the mortal Senator, Luna, are you not? You are friendly with her?"
"Yes. I am her niece, approximately. She has been most kind."
"She is to be engaged in a certain procedural matter which may be awkward for Me. If you would simply ask her to step aside—"
"I can't interfere in her political business!" Orlene protested.
Satan smiled warmly. "Please, do not misunderstand. I do not ask you to interfere, only to ask her to consider doing this small favor for you, so that you may help your baby, in accordance with My agreement with Nox. Surely Luna has no onus against your baby?"
I don't see what's so bad about that, Vita thought. Considering what she has to gain.
Just wait, Jolie thought grimly. You never encountered as smooth-talking a rascal as Satan!
I thought you loved him!
I do. But I also know him.
Orlene, almost overwhelmed by the offer, nevertheless didn't trust it. "Of course not! But—"
"Just how serious is your interest i
n helping your baby? I do not ask you to succeed in making Luna step aside, only to make the request, which she may decline if she chooses. For this I am prepared to arrange for the return of your baby to you. You need have no fear of this aspect; you will have your baby immediately, and your arduous quest will be over."
Orlene, increasingly distressed, found herself in tears.
"Oh, Satan, for the sake of that love you profess for me, at least tell me the truth! I know this can be no simple matter, and I cannot decide on the basis of ignorance!"
Satan frowned. "Fair enough. I sought only to spare you details that might have distressed you. The whole truth is this: there is a critical issue coming up among the mortals, and Luna is to cast the key vote, deciding it. I will win by default if she does not vote."
"But what can this be?"
"It is the most important issue of our time. It will in effect decide the matter of which Incarnation shall wield the ultimate power. As you know, this is what I covet; for centuries My aspiration has been balked, but now at last it shall be decided."
"But how can Luna have any bearing on the power of Incarnations?"
"I see you do not yet understand. Very well, I shall be unconscionably direct. A number of folk have come to the conclusion that one of our number is not performing His Office as He should. There will therefore be a vote to decide whether that Office should be declared vacant, so that a replacement Incarnation may be elevated to do the job. The importance of this matter to mortals is such that the deciding vote is theirs. If they, by the unanimous tally of their representatives, agree that the Office is vacant, then the remaining Incarnations, by unanimous agreement, may put a new person in that Office. It is of course to My interest to see that this does not occur."
"They want to replace you?" Orlene asked, amazed.
Satan laughed. "Me? Of course not! I have been arguably the most active and effective of the current Incarnations! No, it is the other in question: the Incarnation of Good."
Orlene stared at him, unable to speak.
Did I hear right? Vita thought.
You did, Jolie replied. This is amazing! I knew, but had somehow forgotten. Now it comes back. They want to replace God!
"You see. God has simply not been responsive recently," Satan continued. "Since we anticipate a formidable crisis—World War Three, to be specific, but there are also matters of overpopulation, exhaustion of mortal resources, global famine and disease and the like—we fear that humanity will be extinguished, and the world with it, in a few years, if action is not taken. Much of that action can be taken only with the acquiescence of all the Incarnations. So there is indeed a crisis."
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