Me: Simon, your shit is packed up. Let me know if you want to come get it, or ship it?
I head back to the living room to give Jayden some space and better yet, me some thinking room.
WE’VE MADE OURSELVES comfortable on my couch after his shower, and a part of me feels so much better since I packed up Simon’s stuff. Tomorrow I’ll take the box to the shop with me and print out a shipping label. I should find his girlfriend’s address and send it to her, which would be a fulfilling enjoyment. I snicker at my thought, and I just might do it.
“How you feeling?”
“Fine, a little tired, but overall, better. You?”
“I’m perfect.”
“That’s good,” I say as I cuddle into Jayden’s side. He’s flipped through the TV channels so many times that I’ve threatened to throw the remote out the window. I'm not used to just sitting here and doing nothing. My life has been a hectic battle for the last year. Between running my business, planning a wedding, keeping up with all Simon’s stuff, not to mention my friends, this is the first time in forever that I think I actually sat down and did nothing. It’s nice, something I could get used to. I picture us on the weekends snuggled up on the sofa, Jayden watching TV and me either designing a cutting-edge cake in my head or sketching one out. Heck, for that matter, I could take up reading again. I’m so engrossed in my daydream that I don’t hear Jayden asking me, “Are you hungry? We could order something or I can make us a sandwich.”
“Huh … What did you say?”
“Where were you?”
“Oh it’s nothing,” I say as I feel my face heat up and know that I’m beet red.
“Were you thinking dirty thoughts of me, Morgan?”
“No, I wasn’t. If you must know, I was daydreaming about how nice this is and how I never do this.”
“Do what? Cuddle, or just be one with yourself?” he asks as he moves me over to straddle his lap.
“All of the above. I’m always on the go. If I wasn’t at the bakery, I was planning a wedding and dealing with Simon’s crap.”
“What did he do to you?”
“He was unfaithful. I found out two weeks before the wedding,” I say and shrug.
“Lucky for me you’re not married right now.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I couldn’t do this,” he says as he places his hands on the back of my head and pulls me forward. He places a gentle kiss on my lips and allows me to pull back just a little. I rest my forehead on his as my eyes flutter closed and I let out a small sigh. I feel Jayden’s hands start to run up and down my back and goose bumps cover my body. My body pulls back just a little from his embrace and I close my eyes again and release the air I’m holding. When they open back up, I’m faced with the deepest chocolate brown eyes staring back at me. My tongue darts out and wets my lips as I prepare to lean forward. My body sinks into him more as I begin to figure out his flavor. Jayden’s placed a flavor card on me, and I know I’ll figure his out soon enough. I just need to practice a little more and get a good taste.
Jayden lifts me and places me on my back as he shifts his body above mine. One hand comes up, slides the hair from my face, and continues to caress the side of my face down to my neck. I allow him to feel his way around like he’s memorizing every inch of me. Our breathing has increased from just this simple act. His hands move their way back up and thread into my hair. In a blink, we’re connected again. This time it’s as if it’s our last embrace, a lover’s will to survive before we cave into a world of the unknown. It’s been a matter of seconds, which feel like hours, before I hear pounding on the door.
“Morgan, I know you’re home, now open the door.”
“Shit,” I say breathlessly. I’m not sure what to do. I jump out of Jayden’s hold and look around as I move to the door. I crack it open and peek out at Simon. “Simon, what are you doing here? Now really isn’t a good time for this.”
“Are you okay? I texted and you’re all out of breath.”
“I'm all right … I … My phone must be in the other room.”
“Well, I’m here now so let me in. I want to talk to you and get my stuff,” he says as he places a hand above his head and grips the threshold.
I turn to look at Jayden, who only nods his head in return, letting me know it’s okay and he’s prepared for what’s about to happen.
“Fine, but I have company so you need to get your shit and leave right away.”
“Company? Who’s here? Let me in.”
I open the door all the way and move to the side for him to enter. The tension and stare-down starts as soon as Simon steps foot inside my apartment.
“Who are you? Are those my clothes?”
“Nice to meet you. Jayden Rivers. And yes, I borrowed your clothes. I didn’t have anything with me.”
Simon cuts his eyes in my direction, and I witness the steam rolling off his body. I know it’s soon after our breakup, but he has no room to judge me. None what-so-ever.
“You can keep those, but you won’t keep Morgan.”
“Whoa … I am not your property, Simon. You gave that up when you screwed your other girlfriend. Don’t come here and start with me. We’ve had this conversation. I can date and do what I want. You and I are over,” I say, pointing my finger at him. How dare him? Thinking he can speak to Jayden that way.
Simon steps closer to me and grabs my hand and lowers it to my side. “I told you once that you will be my wife, and I meant that, Morgan. You might need to get this out of your system, just as I did. In the end, my name will be yours, not his or anyone else’s. Now, I’ll get my stuff and call you tomorrow. You and I need to correct this before the mother has a heart attack.” He steps away as he heads toward my bedroom. I just stand there in shock as I’m watching Jayden and gauging his thoughts. Simon comes back out and kisses my temple before he heads to the door. Right before he turns the knob, he stops and looks back at me.
“I love you, Morgan. We just need to work this out. I hope you used protection. Wouldn’t want you tainted by him. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He’s gone before I can even blink.
“Morgan…Morgan,” Jayden says a few times as I look up at him.
“Jayden, you need to leave this time,” I say, shaking my head at him as he walks up to me. “I can’t deal with this right now. I just need to figure things out.”
“Answer me this, do you still have feelings for him?”
“I don’t know … Well … I’m pretty sure I don’t.” I sound like a complete idiot. I mean, I told Jayden last night he was all I thought about and I confirmed it today as I let him worship my mouth. Everything was going well before Simon showed up.
“Let me know when you figure it out. I meant what I said this morning. But … I refuse to be the one that stands between you and your ex-fiancé. You have a history, and even though I want a future with you, you’ll have to choose which one you want. I won’t be the one that makes you walk away from that kind of history. I’m not like him, and I wouldn’t do what he just did. Morgan, you deserve better than that. You know where I am. I’ll show myself out.”
All I can do is stand in my living room and watch Jayden walk out. I don’t try to stop him, respond, or defend my feelings for him. Simon could be an ass before, and demanding, but he’s never acted that way. A part of me liked how jealous he was, then the other part remembers what he did. Simon was never one to show emotions like that, or even act as if he cared someone else was paying me attention.
I’m still in the middle of my living room fifteen minutes after everyone left, still trying to grasp what the hell just happened.
I woke up this morning to a man in my bed that I’ve been dreaming about all month. One who has captured my thoughts, my feelings. Only to have the other man waltz in and stir up the crazy. Simon has always been good at making a big deal out of nothing, but is this really nothing between Jayden and me? I have the feeling I might have ruined whatever could have been between us. I think as
I perch on the side of the sofa. The need to bake hits me. I need to work my stress out. I decide that I’d rather be at the bakery, and I set out to change into a pair of jeans and pull my hair up in a high ponytail. I’m leaving the house in my old attire, the brand-new Morgan is tired and doesn’t want to be seen today.
With my jacket, phone, and purse in hand, I make my way out into the world. The sidewalks are covered with a light snow, but I don’t stop to admire the white stuff. I kick it to the side and head to the safety of my work. This is where I need to bury my feelings, work out what is going on in life, and come up with a plan.
As I push the door open, I give a quick wave to Zara and Jaime and make my way to the office. I throw my stuff down on the desk and leave, as I need to be in my kitchen. I don’t speak; I don’t even look back in their direction. Zara’s been around me enough to understand that I need time; I need to work through what is eating me. Here, standing in the place that I’ve built over the years, I’m right where I need to be at this moment. I pull down all the ingredients and set out to do what I came here to do.
I bake and bake until I can’t anymore. At the end of this mess, I still don’t have the answers or know what to do. It’s been hours since we closed. As I look around at the emptiness around me, that’s how I feel on the inside. Just think, hours ago, I was happy and planning in my head what it would be like to be with Jayden. Now, I might never get that opportunity, and I fear what the future holds for me. Can I survive life with Simon? Will I be enough for him to be happy? What will my life be like without Jayden in it? This is what I ask myself over and over as I steady my hand on the knife and continue to spread frosting over the cake I just made.
After I’m satisfied with the final touches, I clean up the mess and head home. I’m tired, and not just physically. It’s a mental exhaustion more than anything, and baking today didn’t seem to find the answers that I need, not like it usually does. Most of the time I can lose myself while creating something fascinating, and all my worries will melt away. Maybe the issues I’m stressing over right now don’t have an easy fix? I don’t know, but what I do know is I need to figure it out soon.
I DIDN’T HAVE TO GO into work early today, since I baked enough product to get us through a few more days. I texted Zara to let her know that I would be late. Between her and Jaime, I know the place is in good hands. Even though Jaime has only been with us for a bit, she’s caught on like this is second nature to her. Hatcher still comes by to run my reports, handle payroll, and, of course, to see Zara. I’ve been watching those two like a hawk; I’m never sure what to expect. It’s been fun to witness their relationship bloom and how Zara still tries to fight the pull they have. It’ll only be a matter of time before the next step continues with them, and I can’t be happier for them. When you stand on the outside and watch life carry on around you, it’s amazing what you see. It makes me wonder if anyone ever did that to Simon and me. Was there anyone in my life or his that envied what I thought we had? Once it was a happy relationship. When it first began it was flowers and butterflies. Over time, it transformed into nothing. No more spark, no more surprises, it turned to all demands. The wants from life, the needs that he felt entitled to. Nothing was ever about what I needed. That’s been the biggest realization since the split. The reason why I don’t feel the heartache that I should. When the other person needs to become more than your wants, there’s a problem—not just a small one. It becomes bigger than life, and no life is worth living just for the other person’s needs.
These are all the things I’m still processing as I make my way to work this morning. I’ve slowed my steps as I enjoy the frigid air around me. The snow stopped falling late yesterday afternoon but has left a watery mess on the sidewalks as if we’ve just had a rain storm. I bundled up this morning, choosing to wear jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, and paired it with my normal Chucks. I tighten the jacket around me as I prepare to cross the street and glance up to notice Simon watching me. He’s standing at the entrance with his eyes trained on every move I’m making. A part of me has the need to high-tail it out of here and run through the park. I knew there was a chance he’d show up today, but the hopes were high that he’d change his mind and forget everything he said yesterday. Guess not, and what better way to start your day than to be faced with your cheating ex?
I approach the door and look up at him. “Morning, Simon,” I say as slink past him and allow the blast of heat to hit me full force. I unwrap my scarf and start unbuttoning my jacket as I continue past the customers seated at the tables. I make quick eye contact with Jaime and wonder where Zara is as I head to my office. When I enter I shut the door right behind me as a warning to Simon, who I know is fast on my heels behind me. If he wants to talk, he can wait for me out front. My jacket and scarf get tossed around the coat rack, and I grab a stack of paperwork that Hatcher left for me to review. It’s the end of the year and we have to run the numbers and get ready for tax season. This is just one more reason why I love that Hatcher does this for me. I don’t suck with numbers, but I certainly don’t enjoy them.
The first year I was open I literally took all receipts, invoices, and bank statements in a box that I pulled off the shelf from the storage room and dropped it on his desk. He looked at me like I’d grown a second head. Ever since that lovely experience, he took over my books and I haven’t looked back since.
I give myself a mental pep talk as I head out to deal with Simon. As I approach the table, my eyes immediately look at the two steaming cups of coffee sitting on the table. I toss the stack of papers down and go get a muffin. Maybe if I stuff my mouth, it’ll control my tongue.
“Just give me the sign and I’ll remove him from here,” Zara says, handing me my breakfast.
“Don’t worry, I can handle this,” I say as I back away and dig deep for the control I need this morning.
“No muffin for me?” Simon asks.
I sit and give him a death glare. “You won’t be here long enough to finish it. I don’t really feel the need to waste my hard work.” I pull the paper off the sides and pop a piece into my mouth.
“Morgan, no need to be snarky so early. I came here to talk, and that’s what we need to do.”
“I have nothing to say, Simon. I’ve said my piece, and for the life of me can’t understand why you are still pursuing me.”
“That’s easy … You were upset and made a rash decision. We were to be wed and now we need to work on a new date. We’ve got all the stuff, and only need to find a unique location. If we push hard enough, I’m sure we can do this before the end of the month. That doesn’t give us much time to plan.”
“Have you lost your flipping mind, Simon? Even if I was to agree to date you again, I’m not jumping into marriage with you that fast. What you did was wrong, do you not understand that? Do you not know that infidelity is something that I would never bounce back from? I still don’t even know what was wrong with me that you had to see what was on the other side of the fence.”
“Nothing was wrong with you, Morgan. That’s the thing, you’re perfect and everything I need in a wife. Well, other than this place. Which, by the way, I found a buyer, and they would like to talk numbers.”
“Get the hell out of here, Simon. That right there is more of a reason than you flopping your small penis around at a whore. I’ll never sell this place. That would be like me telling you that you can never practice law. I listened to you in the past and thought that you would forget about this horrible idea. I can see you haven’t, and if you can’t see that this place makes me who I am, then you aren’t the one for me.”
“I’m the one for you, Morgan, and you need to wake up and stop wasting your time with this silly dream. Do you honestly think this will make you money, give you the life that I can offer?”
“It’s not about the money, it’s about the dream. The way I feel when I stand back and look at something I just created. To know that people come to me and trust me with something so special to them. Th
at is more than any money can buy. This is me, Simon, take it or leave it, but I’ll never sell this place or step away. I was the owner of a bakery when you met me, and I’ll be that person next week, next year, and five years from now.” I stand and grab my papers. “Simon, face the fact that you and I are over. I’d appreciate it if you never come back into my place of business. Don’t stop and wave at me on the street, don’t call me, and forget I ever wasted my time with you.” I walk away, leaving him to process everything I just said.
Zara follows me to the kitchen, and before she can speak, I hold my hand up to stop her. I know she listened to every word I said, and I don’t need to go back over it with her or anyone else. A smile shows up and I look back up at her. “Wow, that felt good to get out.”
“Sounded just as good. I’m proud of you, Morgan. If Frankie or Natasha could have seen that, I think they might have shed a tear or something. This fresh person here, I like her,” she says as she waves her fingers around at me.
“I think I might like her too. So what’s on the agenda today?”
“Well for starters, I have to skip out for an appointment, then I’ll be back. You and Jaime have to have it down and fill those orders we have for the holidays. I wrote up like five more yesterday. When I come back, we can knock the rest of them out.”
“Okay, but where are you going?”
“To the doctor, I’ll be back,” she says as she exits and is gone before I can ask anything. This is odd, since she’s not one to ever go to the doctor, and she doesn’t seem sick. I brush it off, grab my apron, and look over the new orders. I have a huge whiteboard on the wall behind the kitchen door where I keep track of them all. The list is growing more and more as we get closer to Christmas, and I move around a few according to the due dates.
Frosted Sweets (A Taste of Love Series Book 1) Page 12