As I have the items accumulated, I start to place everything on the new hangers and place them in the closet by outfits. Casual, work, play, and dresses. My wedding gown has been moved to the front closet and stuffed in the very back so I don’t have to be face-to-face with it daily. All my Chucks go in one pile, flip flops, flats, and heels. I start with my Chucks and label each box with the color, ‘Red Chucks,’ and so on. The only things left are the flip flops, but have no fear, I saw something cool I could do with those. I take the wire hangers and bend them upward to hang them on, and then slide them to back of the closet. My boots are lined up on the bottom of the floor by color and height.
I stand back and admire my handy work, and then it hits me that I need to clean out the dresser. I did gain a whole new drawer or two when I got rid of Simon’s clothes.
As I’m sitting on the floor with a drawer in front of me, my cell rings. I don’t pay attention to the caller ID, as it was face down.
“Hello,” I say with a little too much excitement.
“Morgan?” the deep male voice asks on the other end.
“Yes …” I pull the phone away from my ear and look at who it is. It’s Nick. I should have looked before I answered.
“It’s Nick. Are you busy?”
“I’m currently in the middle of something, but what can I do for you?”
“Well, I was calling to apologize for being an ass, and not checking on you sooner. I was a little embarrassed and just … well … Honestly, I didn’t know what to say.”
“Thank you, but no hard feelings.”
“Can I make it up to you? Take you to dinner or something? I really would still like to get to know you better.”
“I’m not so sure about that, Nick. I mean, you’re a great guy, but I’m kind of focusing on me right now.”
“You mean on Jayden, don’t you?”
“No. Why would you say that?”
“I heard you that night when you passed out. I didn’t know you two had a thing, and well, I just thought if you got to know me, we could maybe have more than friendship.”
“Nick, I’m sorry about that night, and things are still fuzzy for me. Jayden and I have nothing going on. I wouldn’t mind being friends with you, but I can’t pledge anything romantic at this time.”
“I can take friendship, some of the best relationships started as friends. How about dinner?”
“When?”
“Tonight. You know you have to eat.”
“Currently I’m up to my head in organizing my apartment. What about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow works. Where would you like to go?”
“Since we’re friends, what about that pub that just opened? Have you heard of it?”
“I have, and they have some great food. What time would you like to meet? I know how you operate.”
“Friends would meet for happy hour and appetizers. Will six work for you?”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Morgan, at six.”
“Perfect. Have a good night, Nick.” I toss the phone onto the pile of mess.
Did I just make a huge mistake? Can we be just friends? I know some of my friends have male friends, but Nick and I started out trying to make a go of a relationship. He’s been nice and all, but I just don’t see how this will end up. What will happen if Jayden finds out? Can he trust the fact that we’re friends and nothing more? This new Morgan needs to learn to say no and move on. So far, the only one I can say that to is Simon, which I count my lucky stars that, for now, he’s been MIA.
With my phone in my hand and the speaker turned on, I dial Frankie.
“Hello, sweet Morgan. What are you doing?”
“Hi, Frankie. Organizing my crap. What about you?”
“Waiting for the next photo shoot. It’s got to get dark and then we’ll start. Are you having an affair with that new machine of yours?”
“You heard about that, huh.”
“Of course, Zara told me you’ve labeled everything.”
“I may have, and yes, I’m marking my house. Do not judge me.”
“No judgment from me. So what’s going on?”
“I need your input.”
“Yes, throw away that ugly gray sweater that has those green specks in it. I hate it.”
“Not that, but you’ll be happy to know it’s in the donation pile.”
“Thank God. So what advice do you need? I’m all ears, well, for the next few minutes.”
“Nick called me tonight, and he stopped by the shop while I was out with Natasha. He wants to be friends and we’re having drinks and stuff at that new pub tomorrow.”
“Okay, what’s the problem? You can be friends with him. Hell, you could date him if you wanted.”
“No, I’m not ready to date anyone. I just, I don’t know … Can I be friends with him? What happens if Jayden finds out?”
“Look, Morgan, he’ll find out, but it’s all about how you handle it. It’s a free country and you can have anyone as a friend. Plus, Nick is nice and you like him.”
“I guess you’re right,” I say as I fall backward and lie down to stare at the ceiling.
“I know I’m right. I know you have deep feelings for Jayden, but you both need to do something about it. That night, I could tell he was jealous of Nick, and maybe that’s what he needs. You know, a little push or something. Just be true to yourself. Hell, it’s been ages since you dated. Do that and see how it goes.”
“You know, you’re right. I don’t belong to anyone, and I should play the field.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever known you to play the field, but okay, keep me posted on how that works for you.”
“Will do. When are you coming home?”
“In about a week. They extended the job so I have to finish it up. Drinks when I come back though, for sure.”
“Sounds perfect. Be safe and call me.”
“I will, and Morgan … Have fun, okay? You deserve it.”
“I’ll have a good time,” I say as we end our conversation.
Life is what we make of it. As I look back over the last decade, I have to ask, what have I made of mine? I know I should be proud of what I have done, but with Simon I wasn’t living. It was a means to walk on this earth and live here. Now, I want to be here for a reason. I want the one that my heart beats for to be more than just the reason I’m living. My business is nothing if I can’t share it with someone other than my friends and family. Don’t get me wrong. My friends are everything, but I want to fill that spot that’s empty.
As I sort through the piles of clothes, I do what I always do, give myself the pep talk to make sure I know how to put one foot forward and march through the future. It’s funny how I can remember my parents telling me to not rush being a grown-up, yet here I am, wanting to turn back time and do it over again. If I was presented with a time machine that would take me back to the night I met Simon, would I choose to step forward and follow the same path? Or would I walk away and take an unnatural direction? I don’t know the answer to that, and as Frankie and Natasha have said: the past doesn’t define me, it shows me the way to a better future. They’re right, on so many levels. Each time Simon would talk about the bakery being a waste of my day, it gave me the push to do it bigger and better. For every no, I turned it into a yes. For every broken heart, I found a love.
I’ll play nice with Nick and see what he has to offer. It doesn’t mean I have to marry him. This whole “just being friends” or dating is new to me. I welcome it with open arms. The new Morgan is willing to try anything at least once; well, maybe a few times.
I’M IN THE BACK BOOTH of the new pub taking in my surroundings as I wait for Nick to join me. He texted me right as I arrived to say he was running late and to grab a table. The wood-paneled walls shine with an amber glow from the lights overhead. The striking part of the whole place is the bar, and I know the girls would appreciate it here. Glass covers the back wall behind the wood bar top, with shelves upon shelves of top-shelf liquor
. Irish heritage pictures dress a few open spots and hang against the walls. It’s busy with men in business suits as they enjoy happy hour and talk about their day. It makes me wonder why they would rush here instead of home to their families. Is this an example of life after marriage? Who wants that? I mean, if you are going to be lonely even after you pledge your heart away to your loved one, why do it? I’m lost in my own thoughts and reasons for why I think Zara was right all along, that I don’t hear Nick when he approaches.
“Morgan… Hello,” he says, making me jump a little, and I look up at him with a smile. I admit he’s handsome, but looks like he’s had a rough week. Nick is the total opposite of Jayden. Here stands a man in his expensive suit, loosened tie, disheveled hair, sporting that five o’clock shadow. Versus Jayden, who is this laid-back guy who enjoys wearing business casual clothes, jeans, and sometimes shaves.
“Hi, how are you?” I ask as I allow him to embrace me for a not-so-awkward embrace.
“I’m better now that I finally made it here. How are you? I’m sorry for keeping you so long.”
“Oh, it’s okay. I’ve just been taking in this place. It’s so pristine and makes me feel like I’m in Ireland.”
“It does. How was your day?”
“Busy, but not like it was last month. It’s been nice to slow down some, you know?”
“Yes, but right now is not our downtime. I’m lucky I got out when I did, which makes me happy to have a capable crew that can handle things,” he explains, and it makes me think Jayden is still at work, and I mentally question if he’s had dinner.
Oh, I know this is not the right thing to be thinking as I sit next to my dinner date. But, you have to understand that the urge to run to my bakery, grab some treats, and deliver them to the studio is adamant. My leg starts to bounce rapidly under the table and I just hope Nick doesn’t feel it. It might be a nervous tick normally, but tonight it’s to keep me from running.
“Let’s order,” I blurt out so I can move this along.
I order the fish and chips with malt vinegar, and Nick orders a classic hamburger. Now, don’t get me wrong, but we are in an Irish pub that has been said to have some amazing food. You can get a burger anywhere.
“I have to ask, why a burger?”
“I like burgers, and I plan to have a taste of yours.”
“Nick, no offense, but I don’t share my food, not even with my friends.”
“You’ll let me have a bite, but I’m not big into the food here.”
“Then why did we come here?”
“Thought it would be a cool place to hang out, new and popular. Plus, I like their beer on tap.”
“Okay,” I say, confused, and let my arm rest on the everlasting leg that won’t stop bouncing.
We exchange small talk back and forth, and I have to say, I find him a bit boring. He’s not once asked me about why I do what I do. It’s been all about him and some new series they are airing soon. I don’t have the heart to tell him I don’t care, since I’m not big on television. My eyes take a chance to glance at the bar one more time, and that’s when they land on the eyes drilling holes through me. No, I take that back, three sets of eyes at opposite ends are all on me.
At the left end of the bar, with a group of guys, are Jayden and Amy. At the other end is Simon and a group of guys I have met before from the law firm. With a big gulp, I look down to the napkin in my lap. Nick’s speaking, but I can’t focus on what he’s saying as my eyes flick back and forth between them all. All of a sudden Simon throws down the last sip of his beer, stands, and heads my direction.
“Nick, I … Umm … Well, shit.”
“What’s that, Morgan? You all right?”
“Evening, Morgan. Who’s your friend here? I don’t think he’s met your fiancé,” Simon says, and all I can do is roll my eyes at his statement before I look at Nick.
“My ex-fiancé, that is,” I say, my voice laced with venom. He’s got to stop interfering with my life, and my dates. Immediately my eyes go back to where Jayden was at the bar, and the only person I know who’s left is Amy. I wonder briefly where Jayden went, as I’d fancy the chance to explain that things are over between Simon and me. Not to mention that Nick and I are just friends.
“Morgan, are you engaged? I’m really confused. I mean, I know about Jayden, but this guy also?”
“No, I’m not engaged and no I’m not with anyone,” I say as I bore holes through Simon and catch a quick glimpse of that evil twinkle in his eye. It’s like he knows what’s coming next. I take another chance to look back toward Jayden’s group. He must have gone to the restroom. He’s back now, leaning against the bar watching this all unfold. Amy is next to him enjoying the show just as much as he is, and they both earn a shake of the head.
“Simon, it’s nice for you to step over and say hello, but you best be running off now. I’ve said my piece to you, and we are done.”
Nick leans back against the vinyl booth to take everything in.
“See, my sweet Morgan, I allowed you to say what you needed to say, but no one dumps a Kensington. You’re lucky to have a man like me. These other two you’re hanging around only want to get laid. I mean, you’re cute and all, but the sweet baker won’t live up to their dreams.” Simon stops for a moment and looks Nick in the eye before he continues. “Trust me, she’s a bore in bed, and she wants to know why I went elsewhere.”
The words have escaped me, as I’m in total shock, and let’s not mention how embarrassed I am. Nick goes to stand, but before he can get out of the booth completely, I watch it all unfold before me. I’m not sure when Jayden approached us. I was focused on the nastiness that Simon was speaking. But within the blink of an eye, Jayden’s fist connects with Simon’s jaw, which ends with Simon down for the count. Jayden doesn’t say a word. He looks Nick straight in the eye. “You want to be next? If not, I say you leave and I’ll make sure Morgan gets home safe and sound.”
“Jayden, I’m sure my date would rather me accompany her home. You know, violence is not the answer, and look at him.” He points down to where Simon’s colleagues are helping him up.
“It might not be, but I couldn’t let him speak to her like that one more time. You know, Morgan, that’s how Nick is. Isn’t it, buddy? Oh, I’ve heard about you around the office and I’m telling you now, you stay away from her.”
I slide out of the other side of the booth, grab my purse, and look at them all. “Fellas, if you’ll excuse me, this stupid little girl will be leaving now. I’ll leave you all here to figure out whose penis is bigger than whose.” I step up to Simon. “I already know you won’t win, and this is your last warning: stay away from me.”
When I exit the restaurant, the brisk evening cools off my heated body. Not only am I livid with Simon, but completely turned on by Jayden. Don’t even get me started on Nick. That’s it, I’m going back to being the little baker that no one knows. This whole “finding love” shit is for the birds. D … O … N … E … Done is what I am.
I straighten my shoulders and step the rest of the way out on the sidewalk, heading toward the bakery. It’s late, but I’m not ready to go home just yet. As I get closer to the bakery, I don’t feel like going inside. Usually, it’s the place where I feel the safest and can use my energy to create something new. Tonight, I’m just overwhelmed and sad. This isn’t a feeling I’m used to, and I don’t even know if that is how to explain it. Instead of taking a left up the short entrance to the shop, I turn right and cross the street toward the park. I find a bench and sit down, pulling my jacket across my chest a little tighter to warm my body. It’s the first time in a while that I let my shoulders slump forward in defeat. The crazy thing is, I’m not sure what just defeated me. Was it Simon, Jayden, or Nick? Better yet, was it myself? I’ve never heard Simon speak in the tone he used this evening. Then again, I’ve never had someone try to claim me as quick as Nick did. Then you have the hero, Jayden, who jumps in and takes charge. But why would he do that? I’m nothing spec
ial, and we hardly know each other. I have to question Nick’s actions, and I wonder if what Jayden said was true. Does he think I’m a toy that can be played with, just like Simon thinks?
Now I need my friends to comfort me, but Zara is already stressed with Hatcher and the baby. Frankie is still out of town, and Natasha is on her dinner date to get her vehicle back. That thought has me laughing in the middle of the park, alone. With each outburst of laughter, I notice a few stray people glancing my direction. At this moment, I don’t care because as bad as my night was, I know hers is just as bad. That poor guy has no idea what Natasha could do to him. I pity him for that.
Just as fast as the laughter started, the tears come. I cross my leg over my knee and bend forward to sink my head into my hands. This is the moment it all crashes down at once. I let the confusion and sadness out. I let the hurt go. Simon showed me an hour ago just what I meant to him. I wasn’t the love of his life, nor was I the one he wanted to grow old with. It boils down to the fact that I would look good on his arm. The quiet baker who doesn’t speak up, doesn’t cause a commotion. I’m not sure how long I sit here alone and cry as I let go of everything that I’m holding in. A scream escapes from my lungs as I feel an arm wrap around my shoulders and pull me into a hard chest.
“Shh it’s just me,” the deep voice says into my hair, allowing me to immediately relax against him, as I know it’s Jayden. We don’t speak as he enables me to continue my pity party of one. He caresses my arm as he rubs gentle circles over it, and I can only picture how good it would feel without my jacket. I pull myself together and wipe the tears from my face as I lean up and look at him.
“What are you doing here?”
“Had to make sure you were okay. I thought you’d be at the bakery so I spent about twenty minutes beating on the door and calling. Something caught my eye over here and that’s when I saw you.”
Frosted Sweets (A Taste of Love Series Book 1) Page 15