She wouldn’t go there. Couldn’t. It hurt too damned much.
She hadn’t kept her promise to tell him about Jackie. The time never seemed right and Jackie had been acting so weird these last two weeks she didn’t want to bring the subject up. Instead of leaving for school at her usual time, she managed to get out of the house early enough to barely exchange a good-morning. By the time Lynn got home in the evening she was holed up in her room on the excuse she was studying for a final and couldn’t come down for dinner. Lynn didn’t know who was most worried, she or her mom.
This wasn’t normal behavior.
Mom threatened to take Jackie to the doctor if she didn’t straighten up. Lynn was in agreement.
She would tell Jackie though. When the time was right. Then she’d contact Jake.
Mom told her she was procrastinating. She was probably right. The shock effect could alienate her daughter forever. And Jake? She didn’t want to go there.
A soft knock interrupted her thoughts.
“Come in,” she called out.
Roy stepped inside. He wasn’t in uniform, but dressed in jeans, western shirt, and boots. She stood to greet him. She hadn’t gone to Beth’s funeral, thought it would be intrusive and hurtful. Nor had she heard from Roy. When she mentioned to Jake that she wanted to discuss what happened, heʼd urged against it. Roy would come around when he was ready.
Now must be that time.
She was glad. They’d been friends too long to let the silence continue.
Standing, she went to him, held out her arms for an embrace that brought tears to her eyes.
After a minute, she wiped them away and stepped back. “You look good, Roy.”
“So do you.”
“Come. Sit down. Tell me how you really are. Tell me how Buddy is handling this.”
“To say it’s been hard is an understatement. I’m a grown man and I don’t understand. How can I expect a ten-year-old to?”
There were lines on Roy’s face that hadn’t been there before, circles under blood-shot eyes. “I’m so sorry, Roy.” She reached across her desk to take his hand.
“So am I, Lynn. I’m sorry Beth killed those lovely ladies. I’m sorry she poisoned you.” He looked down. “You could have died.”
The thought still made Lynn sick to her stomach and she wondered if she’d ever get over it. She released his hand, sat back. “Can you tell me anything about why she did this? I’m sure you’ve heard Jake’s theory. Does it hold up to reality?”
“I’m afraid he’s right. Beth kept a journal. I found it hidden in her lingerie drawer a couple of days ago and turned it over to Jake. I couldn’t believe what I read.”
“Please. Go on.”
“Beth wanted me to be somebody. Hell, I probably encouraged that thought with my own ambition.” His voice broke. “You know her dad was an attorney. She was telling me all the time about how respected he was in the community, how people looked up to him. She wanted the same from me. No. She wanted more.”
“She wasn’t happy?”
“Not really. Nothing was enough. I made deputy before we married or she wouldn’t have considered me husband material. She knew I wanted to get ahead. I didn’t know she wanted it more than I did. Not that I didn’t want to better myself, mind you, I did.” His head drooped. “Being deputy wasn’t high enough up the ladder for Beth. When your dad passed away she saw it as my golden opportunity. My chance to be sheriff. I agreed. So I went for it. I wasn’t that upset when I lost. Beth was. She ranted for weeks afterward, saying you’d been away at school while I’d been busting my butt on the job for years. What did you know about being sheriff?” He paused. “She hated you, Lynn. And I didn’t know.”
He couldn’t look Lynn in the eye. She felt bad for him. But he had the guts to come to her and tell her the truth.
Beth’s envy and jealousy went far deeper than Lynn had imagined.
“After you won the election I began to talk about being mayor. I half-heartedly ran for city council, but wasn’t surprised when I didn’t make it. I really didn’t want the position. But I thought it would take Beth off her rant. For a while it did. I should have realized something was wrong. The signs were there, but it never entered my mind that my wife, the mother of our son, could commit murder.” He paused. “I guess you know what the FBI found on her cell phone.”
She nodded. “Beth was sick, Roy. You have to look at it in that vein.” Or he’d go crazy.
“I can’t believe she had the next victim already lined up. Dozens of pictures of Riley Sampson leaving the office, entering her room at the motel, eating dinner, even here doing her job. Plus those of you.”
“I’m so sorry. The good thing was she didn’t succeed with Riley or with me. Riley is a flirt. I don’t know if she was serious or just teasing, but Jake told me seeing those pictures on Beth’s cell phone has made a believer out of her. Says she’s going to stop flirting.”
“I never encouraged her, you know.”
“I know.” Roy couldn’t help that women liked him. But his wife couldn’t handle it.
His eyes filled with unshed tears. She took his hand once more. “I have never and will never hold you responsible for this. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I’ll always think it was. So will everyone in town. That’s why I’m taking Buddy and leaving.”
She gasped. Roy had been in her life since grade school. He was invaluable on the job.
“After enough time has past, this horror will disappear from peopleʼs memories.”
“You know better, Lynn. Buddy will be taunted every single day. I’ll get those sideways looks. People will always wonder if I knew and kept quiet. It’s best we move on.”
Roy was probably right. The two of them deserved a fresh start. “Where will you go?”
“Buddy and I talk about it. He inherits the house, you know. Beth had a small trust her parents left her that I knew nothing about. He’ll inherit that as well. It will be put aside for his schooling and his future. As for me, if you’ll give me a letter of recommendation, I think I can get a job just about anywhere. We’ve kind of settled on California. I don’t know a soul there. It shouldn’t take too long to establish new lives.”
He stood. “I couldn’t leave town without seeing you, Lynn. It’s been a pleasure serving as your deputy. I’ll miss it.”
She held her tears in check. “Are you leaving soon?”
“Next week. I’ve put everything in the hands of a lawyer who will work with the trust on Buddy’s behalf. I’ve sold everything I own. Even sold Beth’s SUV and bought myself a truck. Buddy loves it.”
“I’m proud for you, Roy. But I’ll miss the heck out of you.”
They hugged again. “Keep in touch, will you?”
“Promise,” he said before he left.
Before they were both in tears.
Roy would see to it that Buddy was all right. He was young enough to start over. Roy was a good man and a handsome one. He’d be able to start over, too.
What about her? Would Sheriff Lynn Lawton be able to start over once she exposed the secret she’d held so close for so long?
Chapter Eighteen
Lynn’s first day back ended up being a long one. It was after seven when she was finally able to leave the office.
She was halfway home when her cell phone rang. Jake? Her heartbeat accelerated. Why was he calling? Their business was finished. She didn’t expect to ever see or hear from him again. Curiosity had made her drive by the Mackenzie house earlier, but there was no For Sale sign in the yard. She didn’t know if that meant he was keeping it or already had a buyer. Her fingers trembling ever so slightly, she answered.
“Can you come by the house?” he asked.
“You’re here?”
He chuckled low. It sounded so sexy she wanted to cry.
“At the house. Can you come on your way home?”
“Why?”
“Stop being the sheriff for five minutes, Lynn. I want to see
you. There’s some unfinished business we need to discuss.”
Unfinished business? The murders were solved, the perpetrator in her grave, her husband headed out of town. What more was there?
There was something. But Jake knew nothing about it so that couldn’t be it. She still couldn’t tell him because she had to talk to Jackie first.
“I’m really tired, Jake. This had better be good.”
“Good or bad, we have to talk.”
When she hung up, she wondered why his gruff voice held a hint of anger.
She’d find out.
This time when she told him goodbye, she wanted it to be the last time. She still loved him. Even after a fifteen-year absence, her heart told her the truth. She loved Jake Mackenzie. There was nothing she could do about it. Once he learned the truth, she wouldn’t have to worry about seeing him again.
She pulled into the drive and parked behind a new Lincoln SUV. She had to laugh. His vehicle preference had certainly changed. She knew he’d turned thirty-five last week, knew he had access to his trust. She expected to see a Ferrari or some other sleek, foreign car. Not an SUV.
The door opened before she got there.
Just the sight of him made her heart sing.
“What’s so important it brought you back from New York?”
“Hello, Lynn. Nice to see you. Are you feeling all right now?”
“Sorry. I didn’t expect to see you again. You kind of surprised me. That shiny new SUV surprises me.”
“Sometimes I surprise myself.”
He led her into the kitchen where Jackie sat on a bar stool sipping a glass of tea.
Lynn stopped in her tracks. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at home studying.”
“I picked her up after school, thought she should be here since our conversation involves her.”
Dear God. Did he know Jackie was his daughter? Impossible. Mom wouldn’t tell him and Julie would rather die than disclose the secret.
“You look a little pale, Lynn,” Jake said. Why don’t you take a seat? Can I get you something to drink?”
Lynn’s legs could barely move, but she managed to make it to the table and sit down. Jake put a glass of water in front of her. She grabbed it and drank greedily.
They simply couldn’t know.
This had to be about something else. Something unrelated to Jackie’s paternity.
Jake sat down across from her. “Do you have something to tell me?”
He did know. Her stomach did a summersault. She stole a glance at Jackie, still sitting on the barstool watching them with questions in her eyes. “You called me, Jake, “ she said in her firm sheriff voice. “Why don’t you just come out with it?”
He pulled an envelope from his shirt pocket, waved it at her before handing it over. “I think this will explain everything.”
“What is it? Something to do with the murders?” She wished. Not as much as she wished she’d handled her pregnancy differently all those years ago.
It was too late now.
Did Jackie know? She looked over at her daughter. The teenager seemed interested, not angry. Maybe she didn’t know a thing and was just curious. Lynn shut her eyes. Please don’t let her be angry with me for the rest of my life.
Jake tapped the envelope on her hand. She had a feeling the contents would change their lives.
Her hands shook so hard she couldn’t open it. Jake took it out of her hands, pulled the paper out and handed it over.
“Read.”
Lynn didn’t know if she could. Her eyes were blurry with unshed tears, her stomach rolling, and if she had to stand, she’d fall.
When the writing came into focus, she knew what she held; DNA results, two females, one male. “Who did this?” Her voice was a barely whispered croak.
“I did.” Jackie spoke for the first time. “Jake, or should I say, Dad, took it to the lab.”
Lynn dropped the lab report, put her hands to her eyes. “How did you find out?”
“I listened in on a conversation between you and Mom...” Jackie’s voice trailed off. “Why didn’t you raise me yourself?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant, Lynn? We loved one another. I called. I wrote letters when you wouldn’t take my calls. We could have made it work.”
“Sure we could.” She turned on him. “You left me. You promised to come back, but I knew you wouldn’t. Nothing mattered to you then except going to the academy and being an FBI agent. How could I tell you? You’d hate me for the rest of your life if you had to give that up.”
“Not an excuse. My parents would have helped.”
Lynn dropped her hands into her lap. Looked from Jake, then to Jackie. “You left me, Jake,” she said softly. “How did I know you really meant it when you said you’d be back?” She shrugged. “I loved you too much to destroy your dream. And way too much to give away our child.”
“Your mom helped you so you could get your education. Right?”
Lynn wrapped her arms around her chest and held on tight. Otherwise she would shatter. “She did. I didn’t know what to do. I was eighteen. Younger than you, Jake. I didn’t see how I could raise a baby in a small town like Lobster Cove without a husband, without an education. You know how they are around here. A few would understand, but not many.” She turned to Jackie. “I loved you from the moment you were born. For a while, I considered chucking the education, coming home, and facing the gossips. Mom told me she’d help, but unless I told you, Jake, she wouldn’t let Jackie live with her while I was in school. I’d have to raise her on my own. I think it was her way of forcing me to tell you. Since I wouldn’t do it her way, I let her raise my baby.”
“No one else knows?” Jake asked.
“Only Julie. We went to college together, roomed together. I went into labor two weeks early. Julie called Mom the day before I delivered to tell her she’d better get on a plane fast if she wanted our plan to work.”
“You planned to keep this from me for the rest of my life?” Jackie asked.
“And mine?” Jake echoed.
“It makes me sound pretty damned bad doesn’t it? At the time, I thought it best. Over the years I’ve wondered a hundred thousand times if I’d made a mistake. Looking at your faces now, I see that I did.”
She watched them, looked into their eyes. Anger showed through. She’d known all along when or if the truth ever came out, this would be the result.
“Did you ever wonder where your name came from, Jackie?”
“Not really.”
Lynn looked Jake in the eye. “Her full name is Jacqueline Louise. Jackie was the closest I could get to Jake and Louise is after your mother, whom I loved dearly.”
He jumped up, came around, pulled Lynn out of her chair, and held her close. “I’m so sorry you went through that all alone. I should have been there. If they had lived, my parents would have been thrilled to have Jackie as their grandchild. I know I would have made a good dad. because I had one who was the best.”
Lynn couldn’t stop the tears. “I’m the one who is sorry. Looking back I see where we could have been a family. My mom has been wonderful. She loves Jackie as if she had given birth to her. My dad adored her. After he died, Jackie didn’t have a father. She needs one. I hope you’ll stay in her life.”
“Oh, I’m going to do more than that,” he whispered in her ear.
A chill slid down her back, the good kind of chill. “What do you mean?
“He’s going to live here,” Jackie said.
Lynn looked at her daughter, saw the light in her eyes. “You know an awful lot about Jake’s plans.”
“He told me,” she gloated. “He transferred to Bangor’s FBI office. He’ll drive back and forth.”
“Really? Just so you’ll be close to Jackie?”
He grinned. It was a smile she’d seen every day on their daughter’s face. “Not just Jackie.”
“Oh?”
Her heart thundered. Jake had to hear it.
“He loves you, Lynn. I mean, Mom. Oh, I don’t know what I mean. But Jake still loves you. I know you love him.”
“How do you know so much?”
“I take after the two of you, so I have to be pretty smart.”
Jake laughed aloud. Spreading his arms wide, he welcomed his daughter and Lynn into his arms. “I couldn’t be happier,” he declared. “I never thought I would have two women I could love this much.”
“I’m happy, too,” Jackie said.
“You don’t hate me?” Lynn asked with tears streaming down her face. How had this turned out so wonderfully well?
“I never stopped loving you, Lynn. I hope we can start over. Would you do me the honor of taking you out to dinner tomorrow night?”
Why not tonight? Right now? She wanted to be alone with this man she’d loved most of her life.
“Yeah!” Jackie exclaimed. “Mom…I mean grandma, is having a big dinner tonight for all of us…to celebrate.”
Lynn had been dreading that ‘I told you so,’ conversation with her mom. A wave of relief swept over her.
“When did you tell her?”
“When Dad picked me up after school we stopped by the house. She cried a lot. Just like you.”
“And you,” Jake teased, giving them both a final hug.
Wiping their eyes, mother and daughter linked arms and walked out the door, with Jake closing up the house behind them. It was past time to celebrate and past time for Lobster Cove to settle back into its normal rhythm.
After all, the tourist season had just started. Their busiest time of the year was upon them.
A word about the author...
Mitzi Pool Bridges is a former businesswoman who lives in Texas, has a large family, has traveled extensively, and loves to read and write.
Visit her at:
http://mitzipoolbridges.com
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