by Amy Gutman
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20
Over a late supper, Anna chattered breathlessly about a new 21
roller coaster. “It’s called Batman — The Dark Knight, and it 22
doesn’t have a floor. It’s sort of like you’re flying, and you go up-23
side down, like, five times. ”
24
The thought of Anna suspended in space gave Callie a sick 25
feeling. Didn’t the world hold enough real danger without look-26
ing for more?
27
“You have to go sometime, Mommy.” Anna’s eyes were shining.
28
Callie managed a weak smile. “The roller coaster? I don’t 29
think so.”
30
Anna pushed carrots around her plate without taking a bite.
31
She gave Callie an inquisitive look. “Where’s Rick?” she said.
32
“It’s Saturday. Don’t you guys have a date?”
33
“Rick’s tied up tonight,” said Callie, and was grateful when 34
Anna let the subject drop. There’d be time enough to explain S 35
that Rick was gone for good.
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After supper, loading the dishwasher, Callie remembered the 2
message on her cell phone. In her anger at Rick, she’d forgotten 3
it. She should check to see who’d called. She couldn’t stop think-4
ing of Rick, of the things they’d said today. He’d had no business 5
talking to Lambert. She still felt justified. And yet, a part of her 6
knew deep down that he hadn’t meant to hurt her.
7
She finished cleaning the kitchen and went upstairs to work.
8
But instead of sitting down at her desk, she collapsed again on 9
her bed. She told herself she’d just take five minutes and then 10
she’d get back up. But ten, then twenty, minutes passed, and still 11
she didn’t move. She thought about seeing if Anna wanted to 12
play Monopoly. Then she thought again of the cell phone call 13
and got up to find her purse.
14
“You have one new message,” the artificial voice said.
15
Then she heard another voice. Her ex-husband calling back.
16
“I’ve talked to my wife and she — we — think that introduc-17
ing Anna to our family would create too many . . . complications.
18
You’re the one who set things up this way, and it’s just not fair at 19
this point to change the rules of the game.”
20
There was a bit more after that, cold and vaguely accusatory.
21
She listened until it was over, then erased the message.
22
The thought that Kevin didn’t want to see Anna was painful 23
to contemplate. For the first time, Callie was grateful that Anna 24
had never taken to Rick. The last thing her daughter needed now 25
was to lose another father figure.
26
But there was another more immediate reason that the mes-27
sage unsettled her. She realized that, at some level, she’d thought 28
of Kevin as a last resort. She’d imagined she had a place to send 29
Anna if things got really bad. At this point, she could no longer 30
pretend that her life wasn’t in danger. What she’d learned in the 31
two weeks since Melanie’s attack left no doubt about that. Under 32
the circumstances, should Anna be at home? Wouldn’t she be 33
safer away from Merritt, out of the line of fire? School would be 34
out in a few weeks. At least the timing was good.
35 S
Callie got up and walked to Anna’s room, knocked softly on 36 R
the door.
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Anna was already in bed with a Harry Potter book.
1
Callie sat down on the edge of the mattress.
2
“What?” Anna said. She looked at her mother warily, as if she 3
suspected something.
4
Callie made her voice bright. “You know, school’s out pretty 5
soon, and I was thinking you might go visit Grams and Pappy. It’s 6
been almost a year since you’ve seen them.”
7
Anna stared at her.
8
“You mean go to Indianapolis?” By her tone, Callie might as 9
well have suggested that she travel to the desert. “For how long?”
10
“A week. Maybe two.”
11
“But what would I do?” Anna sounded stricken. “I don’t know 12
anyone there.”
13
“Well, maybe you’ll make some new friends. I’ll bet Grams 14
knows some people with kids right around your age.”
15
Anna shook her head. “No,” she said with finality. “No. I don’t 16
want to go.”
17
Callie sighed. “They’re your grandparents. You need to see 18
them. Besides, I know you’ll have a good time once you actually 19
get there.”
20
“No,” Anna said. “I’m not going. You can’t make me go.” Now 21
she was really angry, chin jutting out. Callie was about to argue 22
back, but managed to stop herself.
23
She stood up from Anna’s bed.
24
“There’s no point in talking when you’re acting like this.
25
When you calm down, we can discuss it.”
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“I’m not going,” Anna said again.
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“Yes,” said Callie. “You are.”
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h
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“I’m not going.” Once more, Anna whispered the words.
31
She listened as her bedroom door clicked shut and her 32
mother’s footsteps faded. Anna got up from her bed and crossed 33
the room to her computer. Her mother didn’t think she had a 34
choice. Well, she was about to find out.
S 35
Anna turned on her computer. When the screen flashed up, R 36
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she signed on to AOL and checked her buddy list. TheMagi-2
cian93 was already there. Just as she’d known he would be. She 3
clicked on the instant message icon, then stopped to think what 4
to write. Did she really want to do this? She’d been going back 5
and forth. Rick hadn’t been around so much, and she’d thought 6
things were getting better. But it wasn’t like it had been before, 7
when it was just her and her mom. It was like her mom was a dif-8
ferent person from the one she used to be.
9
Yes, she decided, she was ready now.
10
Besides, she could always come back.
11
Bttrfly146 I am ready to go.
12
13
Just moments after she sent the message, he was
writing back.
14
15
TheMagician93
You want to go tonight?
16
Bttrfly146 Right. I will meet you at midnight. Just the way we 17
planned.
18
h
19
20
Laura Seton had just turned twenty when she met Steven Gage. The past 21
few years had not been easy, and she was ready for something to go 22
right.
23
Unlike her older sister, Sarah, who had glided through college and med-24
ical school, Laura was having a hard time finding her way in life. She’d 25
started out at Indiana University, the same large public school from which 26
Sarah had graduated. But while Sarah had thrived, Laura languished, 27
feeling lost in the crowd. She’d started out as an English major, then 28
switched to psychology. She was contemplating yet another change when 29
she decided to take a year off. A high school friend, Sally Snyder, had a sis-30
ter living in Cambridge, Massachusetts, the culturally vibrant and color-31
ful home of Harvard University. Sally, who hadn’t gone on to college, 32
proposed that they move there for a year. It was the way out that Laura 33
had been looking for. She quickly agreed to go.
34
Sally and Laura rented an apartment in the neighboring town of 35 S
Somerville, just a subway stop on the Red Line from the jobs they found in 36 R
Harvard Square. Sally took a job at a clothing store, while Laura began to 2 3 4
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waitress. She worked the three-to-ten shift at a restaurant called The 1
Alps, serving large portions of heavy food drenched in melted cheese. Most 2
of the people she waited on barely registered. There was one, however, 3
who from the first made a distinct impression. It wasn’t just that he was 4
good-looking, though he happened to be. What struck her most was how 5
polite he was. He seemed to notice things.
6
The first night he came in, she’d had a difficult table of three. The food 7
wasn’t right; they were waiting too long. All they did was complain. When 8
she reached the new diner’s table, she was out of breath. When she apolo-9
gized for the delay, he told her not to worry. “I saw how they were acting,”
10
he said, with a flick of the head toward the table. Later that night, back at 11
home, she’d found herself thinking of him. When he didn’t come in for the 12
rest of the week, she was disappointed. Then, suddenly, he was back, sit-13
ting at the same table. His face lit up when he saw her. “It’s good to see 14
you,” he said. When she brought his check at the end of the meal, he asked 15
her to have a drink.
16
Over beers at the Wursthaus a few blocks away, he introduced himself.
17
His name was Steven Gage. He’d grown up in Nashville and gone to 18
school at the University of Tennessee. Now he planned to attend law 19
school. Harvard was his first choice.
20
21
A scraping sound. He put down the book, turned off the small 22
flashlight. Peering through the slats of the tree house, he looked 23
across the street. Except for the yellow front porch light, her 24
house was totally dark. Had the sound come from somewhere 25
else? Or had he imagined it? He’d come here every night this 26
week, hoping he might see her. Perhaps the frustration of these 27
endless hours was acting on his perceptions.
28
He looked at the illuminated dial on his watch: 11:53 p.m.
29
Then he thought of another watch, pulled from a slender wrist.
30
The image calmed him slightly. He felt his spirits lift.
31
Time is fair, he told himself. In the end, time is fair.
32
In that instant, he heard it again. This time, he wasn’t mis-33
taken. But it wasn’t coming from her window. It was farther to 34
the right. A head popped out of this second window and looked S 35
from side to side. Anna. It was Anna. What was she going to do?
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Fascinated, he watched her, waiting for what came next. But 2
after a moment, she ducked inside and all was still again. Was it 3
over? Was that it? His eyes stayed glued to the house.
4
Then the front door was opening. A small figure emerged.
5
Anna stepped down off the porch and ran across the street. His 6
heart leapt into his throat. She was heading straight for him! But 7
she stopped directly under the tree house, stood there silently. As 8
if she were waiting for something to happen. As if she were wait-9
ing for someone. She was standing right beneath him. He could 10
hardly breathe.
11
Another door was opening, but this time the sound came from 12
the house below. A second child walked into the night. If it 13
wasn’t little Henry Creighton. The boy walked straight to Anna.
14
From his perch in the tree house, he heard their whispers, though 15
he couldn’t make out the words. Then, just moments later, they 16
were walking down the street. He hadn’t noticed it before, but 17
Anna had a backpack. Running away! It came to him. That’s 18
what they were doing. At that same time, another idea burst full-19
blown into his mind. He’d planned to kill Laura Seton, but why 20
not kill her child?
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Sunday–Monday, May 14–15
Th e desk lamp pooled yellow light on the black-and-white 1
pages of her book. Callie was taking notes. She’d put on her Sony 2
Walkman, and strains of Vivaldi added to her sense of calm. For 3
a time, she was free of pressing concerns, lost in the world of 4
thought.
5
Her pen moved across the paper, slowly, and then faster. She 6
was putting together an outline for her paper on unconscious 7
transference, having finally decided to focus on the issue of eye-8
witness testimony. The idea had come from the two case studies 9
that surfaced again and again: the psychologist mistakenly ac-10
cused of rape and the unfortunate ticket buyer. Both victims of 11
mistaken eyewitness identification. She’d decided to search for 12
more recent examples, to try to catalogue them. Her paper would 13
start off with the classic cases, then move to her own research.
14
The cassette clicked off. Callie was surprised when she glanced 15<
br />
at her watch to see that it was almost 1 a.m. She pulled off her 16
headphones. Silence. By now Anna was asleep. As she gathered 17
up the scattered papers on her desk, she scanned what she’d writ-18
ten. She’d put in a solid effort tonight, and she felt good about 19
that. Despite everything that was happening, she’d reclaimed a 20
small part of her life.
21
In her bathroom, she washed her face and patted it dry, 22
squeezed out toothpaste, and began to brush. The faint taste of 23
old coffee was washed away by a gust of mint. Once she’d finished 24
brushing, she flossed, then put cream on her face. As her fingers 25
massaged the skin of her cheeks, her eyes studied the mirror. It S 26
had been a while since she’d really looked at herself, and what R 27
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she saw was disturbing. There was a tension in the muscles of her 2
face that hadn’t been there before, a deep furrow between her 3
eyes, a tightness around the mouth. These weren’t the ordinary 4
marks of age, but a sign of something wrong. The well-being 5
she’d felt just moments ago flickered and was gone. She’d 6
thought her anxiety was under control, but her face told her she 7
was wrong. And it wasn’t just her physical self, it was also her be-8
havior. Her mind flashed back to earlier, to how she’d snapped at 9
Anna.
10
She turned off her bathroom light and went through her room 11
toward Anna’s. She didn’t want to wake her up, just to look at 12
her. In the hallway she left the light off, so Anna’s room would 13
stay dark. Then, gently, she turned the handle and cracked open 14
the door. The hinges gave a faint squeak, but the lump in the bed 15
was still.
16
Callie stood on the threshold for a couple of seconds, waiting 17
to see if Anna would move. But Anna appeared to be sleeping 18
soundly. Callie crept toward the bed. There were dim piles of 19
blankets and sheets, a few stuffed animals. Callie leaned forward, 20
searching for Anna’s head. She reached out and touched a knot 21
of blankets. The fabric gave way beneath her hand. She touched 22
another part of the bed. Again there was no resistance. In a sin-23
gle gesture, she swept back the blankets. Nothing, no one was 24
there.
25
She jumped up and ran from the room, looked into the hallway 26
bath. The door was open. The room was dark.