Howl (Howl Book 1)

by Kalani Zoldyck

  Pavel gave me a sour look before taking the Advil. They looked like horse pills to me, but he swallowed them with only one gulp of water. I shuddered, but didn't say anything about it.

  "I know, but," He hissed through his teeth as I put the ice back on his swollen shoulder, "we were talking while making dinner and it seemed like he was in a good mood."

  I sighed, "That can change in a flash, Pavel. You should have waited for me."

  "Well, I know that now." I could tell that Pavel was trying to hide how much pain he was in. His face was practically blood red, except for the lines around his jaw. They were turning white because of how hard he was clenching his teeth.

  Men were known for their egos, but werewolf men were in a completely different league. I knew not to bring up his pain. He'd see it as a sign of weakness and would feel worse than he was now.

  I gently placed my hand over his arm, "Try and relax." I whispered so softly that a human wouldn't have been able to hear me. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When his torso started shaking, I started rubbing small circles along his skin.

  Ten minutes went by before he started to loosen up.

  "What exactly did you tell Nathan?" I changed the subject, but didn't stop massaging circles into his arm.

  Pavel took a few more deep breaths before answering, "I told him that I wasn't going to join him in London." My jaw dropped in shock. "And that I was going to go to college for construction instead of business."

  I was speechless.

  Sure, I knew all of that. I knew that Pavel didn't want to start working at the family business. I also knew that he had no interest in business and that he wanted to build things, but still. I didn't think he'd actually tell his father that… at least not without some back up.

  "That was very brave of you." I told him truthfully. I didn't even think I would have said something like that to Nathan. And that was saying something.

  Pavel laughed without humor, "You should have seen his face."

  "I can imagine." I muttered to myself.

  "I thought he was going to kill me." I wasn't sure if Pavel was being serious or not, so I stopped him before he could continue.

  I tapped Pavel's chin with my free hand and his eyes flickered over to mine. "You know that Nathan wouldn't do that, right?"

  Pavel nodded slowly, "But that doesn't change the look I saw in his eyes."

  I shuddered. "I know that look."

  He laughed. This time the laugh wasn't bitter, but a real laugh. He clutched his abs after a second and I heard felt him wince under my touch. "I bet he gives it to you more than anyone else."

  I smiled with some pride, "Yep." Then, I pushed all the jokes aside. "Look, Pavel, we all know that Nathan isn't the perfect father, but he does love you." I paused and added, "He just needs to work on his tender moments."

  Pavel laughed again. When he winced in pain I decided to stop trying to lighten the mood.

  "I guess I should be lucky that I didn't tell him about the tattoos. Then he would have really gone of the deep end." Pavel sent me a light grin.

  I laughed, "If you told him about those, I don't think that even I would have been able to stop him from flying off the edge."

  We settled into a silence for the rest of the night. The only sounds he made were ones of protest when I had to replace his ice pack. He claimed that the cold only made it worse, but I ignored him. Unless he wanted his shoulder to grow to the size of a pumpkin, he'd need the ice.

  As the night wore on Pavel grew tenser underneath me. I was using his good shoulder as a pillow, so I felt every wince he made. "Do you want more Advil?" I asked even though I thought it was a bad idea. He had already taken six.

  "No," Pavel started shifting around and I sat up immediately. "Look, El, I'm going to head up to the guest room. I'm exhausted."

  I nodded, "Do you need help?"

  Pavel sent me an angry look, "I'll be healed up tomorrow, El. I'll be fine." The slight limp in his step made me think otherwise, but I didn't say anything. I just stretched out on the couch.

  After a few minutes I wanted to go to sleep in a bed, so I got up and left through the sliding back door.

  With the door shut behind me, I turned to head back over to my house, but stopped. The charcoal black wolf sitting on the porch made my breath hitch in my throat.

  "Ignore him."

  I jumped around and saw Gabriel sitting in the shadows. He had his legs propped up on porch railing. A beer was in one hand while the other was lying lazily over the side of the lawn chair.

  "He's just sulking." Gabriel prompted while taking a swig of his beer.

  I glanced over at Nathaniel when I heard his paws pad on the wooden porch. He came over and pressed his forehead into my thigh. "He's limping."

  "Yeah, I took him over to the AM room."

  I couldn't help but frown. It sounded weird to me; it wasn't like Nathaniel to need to go to the anger management room.

  "What's going on with him?" I took a seat next to Gabriel. Nathan watched me before lying down beside my lawn chair.

  Gabriel sighed, "He attacked you El, that'd be cause enough for any werewolf to go to the AM room."

  I winced and my thoughts went to Sean. "So you beat him up?"

  "No, I just helped get the rest of his pent up anger out." He glanced over me and down at his older brother. "Now he's just waiting for you to accept his apology."

  "Look," I decided to talk to Nathaniel myself later on instead of accepting his apology then. "If a younger werewolf attacked someone in the pack, what would happen?" I avoided using pronouns.

  Gabriel's eyes snapped to mine, "Are you attacking packmates, or are you finally going to tell us who gave you those bruises on your jaw?"

  I glared at him, "Can't you just answer the question?"

  "I'll tell you when you tell me." Gabriel stubbornly turned away from me and took another drink of his alcohol.

  I stood, "I'm going home."

  "Cassiel's staying there tonight. He took your dinner over." Gabriel called gruffly back at me.

  Without acknowledging him I jogged across the lawn. The back porch light was on so I had a clear shot to the door. Cassiel was lounging on the couch with a bowl of popcorn balancing on his stomach and a soda in his hand.

  "I'm watching Monk." That was his way of asking me to join.

  "I'm going upstairs."

  Cassiel glanced up at me, "You know, they're going to find out about Sean sooner or later. It would sound a lot better if it came from you."

  I gave him a look and a guilty smile stretched across his face.

  "I was listening to you and Gabriel." He sat up.

  "I'm going upstairs." I repeated. Getting lectured by Gabriel was one thing, but it was a completely different experience for having my younger best friend giving me advice.

  I didn't bother to turn on my bedroom light. I just fell onto my bed. My body was exhausted and there wasn't a single muscle that wasn't throbbing in pain. With a groan I rolled over on my stomach.

  As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I could see clearer. I tilted my head back and stared up at the picture above my bed. My eyes scanned the scene before I found my brother. Josh had his arm slung over my shoulder. The picture had been taken mid laugh. I could see the life glowing in his eyes and my throat closed up.

  If my brother were here, he'd help me figure everything out.

  There were tears in my eyes as I fell asleep.

  CL

  I groaned as I rolled over on my side. There was a sharp rhythmic banging sound coming from downstairs. At first I shrugged it off as something Cassiel was doing, but when I heard someone yell my name my eyes snapped open.

  "Coming!" I jogged out of my room and down the stairs. Cassiel wasn't on the couch, so he was probably sound asleep in the guest room. When I reached the door I hesitated.

  It was weird for someone to be knocking at the door.

  "Who is it?" I called through the door. My hand gently grazed ove
r the doorknob, but I didn't open it.

  "Calvin Grove,"

  I grabbed the doorknob and swung open the door. Michael's second in command of the Luperco was standing in the doorway. His face was void of all emotion, except his eyes, which were solemn and depressed.

  "Are my parents okay? Is it Josh?" I was panicking.

  Calvin shook his head, but I couldn't relax. If a member of the Luperco came to my house something bad must have happened.

  "I'm looking for Gabriel." Calvin told me.

  "He's at his house."

  As soon as I said that, a look of concern, confusion, and anger flashed through the man's eyes. "I was told he'd be here."

  "Just tell me what's going on!" I demanded.

  Calvin drew himself up to his full height, which was over 6"5, and I sighed heavily.

  "Calvin," I pleaded.

  Behind me, I heard footsteps. When an arm fell over my shoulders I spun around. Nathan was standing there. He gently pulled me back, so I was partly behind him, and he stood before me like a shield.

  Calvin bowed his head to the older male, "Nathaniel." He greeted him formally.

  I was becoming incredibly impatient. "Calvin, are my parents alright?" I repeated urgently.

  "The pack is on their way."

  My heart skipped a beat.

  "Who won the battle?" Nathan beat me in asking.

  The side of Calvin's mouth twitched, but not in a smile. "There were a lot of losses on the other side, but we lost the most."

  I was confused, "What does that mean?"

  "One of our elder's was caught in the front line."

  I grabbed Nathan's hand in panic, "Alex," I stammered, "Is Alexander okay?" The elders were the leaders of this war; Alexander, Casimir, and Sloan.

  "I don't know who was killed." Calvin struggled to keep a straight face. "I was given orders by Michael to come and inform you of their arrival."

  I tuned everything else out and sat down on the stairs. Nathan spared me a glance, but I barely noticed. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I shuddered at the thought of my alpha being dead and stood up. I needed to get out.

  I walked around Nathan and rushed through the house. Once I was out of the back door I was in the clear, or at least I thought so.

  Gabriel was waiting for me.

  "Calvin's inside." That was all I said as I tried to walk around him, but Gabriel stopped me.

  "I heard." He told me.

  I tugged on my arm, but he wouldn't let me go.

  "You're not running again." He told me, "The pack should be here soon."

  I pulled against his hand harder, "Gabriel, come on! Just let me go. I can't stay here!"

  Gabriel's eyes narrowed, but he released me. "If you're not back in twenty minutes I'm coming after you."

  I took off running across the lawn.

  CL

  I found myself running into the clearing Sean had kidnapped me in the other night. I glared at the open area and kicked the ground under my feet.

  "I'm surprised to find you here."

  In a fighting stance, I jerked around. My heart was pounding unevenly in my chest and my lungs were burning. The last person I wanted to see was Sean leaning against a thick tree a few yards away.

  "I'm even more surprised that Nathaniel didn't lunge at me as soon as he caught my scent." I tensed up when Sean pushed himself off the oak and took a step towards me.

  My jaw clenched subconsciously, "That's because he doesn't know the whole story."

  Sean didn't say anything, but I saw surprise flash over his face.

  "Look," I gritted down my teeth, "I'm not in the mood for this. So why don't you turn around and head back home." I was on the verge of lunging at him. I was angry, upset, and ready to take out all my rage on him.

  He didn't follow my advice. "You'll have to talk to me eventually."

  "No I won't." I snapped angrily, "Because once I tell the pack what you did that night you won't be around long enough to say more than two more words to me."

  "But you won't." Sean was slowly approaching me. His strides were long and threatening. "You won't tell anyone."

  The sick smirk across his face made my blood boil.

  "You think I'm scared to tell them? Is that really why you think I'm not spilling the truth to anyone who'll listen?" I felt like screaming at him, but I controlled my rage. I paused before continuing. "You should be bowing at my feet for all I'm doing for you!"

  His expression grew dark, "What the hell does that mean?"

  "You have no idea what the pack would do to you if they found out!" I was yelled then. He was driving me crazy. At that moment, if it weren't for the possibility of me getting into trouble for this whole thing, I'd rat Sean out in a second.

  He took a threatening stride towards me so he was barely two feet away from me. I could tell that he was trying to intimidate me, but I grew up with men stronger then him. I wasn't scared.

  I drew back my fist and punched him across the jaw before he could even open his mouth.

  Sean's head snapped around and he let out a cry of pain, "Bitch!"

  I grabbed his neck, "Sean, I know that you're not used to being treated like this," I growled angrily. This fight was actually making me feel better. It was like outdoor anger management. "But you should listen to me and pay attention."

  Sean tried to throw me over him, but I pressed down on his neck pressure point.

  "I'm not telling anyone what you did the other night. In my opinion, no one needs to know about it."

  He growled, "Are you covering for me?"

  I scoffed and struggled to keep my hold on him. He was a lot stronger than me. "I'd like nothing more than to see the pack beat the crap out of you. But I've worked very hard to get them to stop worrying about me every second of the day. If they found out what happened, I'd most likely be put in a plastic bubble."

  "Then maybe I'll tell them myself."

  I slammed my knee into his gut. "If I were you I'd keep my mouth shut!"

  Sean grabbed the collar of my shirt and threw me to the ground.

  He looked ready to drown me.

  "This isn't a joke, Sean. You have no idea what they'd do to you if they found out." I glared at him from my position on the ground. I pushed myself up so I was sitting.

  For a second I thought Sean was going to hit me, or at least yell some insults my way, but then he started backing away. He looked trapped and panicked, and if he'd been anyone else I would have felt sorry for him. Then he took off running.

  I stayed like that for a while. Part of my hoped that Sean had really heard me, and understood the gravity of his actions, but I knew he had a long way to go before he really changed.

  The silence of the forest was eerie. I stood up and bolted through the trees. Blood pulsed in my ears and sweat cloaked my body as I ran in the heat. I was still dressed in my jeans and t-shirt from the day before and my pants started dragging me down after a while.

  I slowed down when I reached the river and hung my head as I stopped at the edge. I remembered Calvin's announcement and crashed down on my knees. Then I tilted back my head and let out a long mournful howl.

  Chapter Nine

  I dragged my feet as I took the path that would leave me home. There wasn't much else to do. I knew I was under a time limit, but I really couldn't have cared less. Sorrow consumed my heart while more questions attacked my thoughts.

  Tears were clogging my brain, but I refused to acknowledge them even as a few slipped down my cheek.

  If Alex had been the alpha killed… I didn't know what would happen. He was the highest ranking werewolf in the world and one of the oldest. He was powerful, strong, commanding, and a family man. While I grew up I thought of him as a second father. He was in mostly all of my happy childhood memories, and a lot of the sad ones.

  He had been there when I was born. He supervised while Josh taught me how to ride a bike, and bandaged my leg and calmed my brother's hysteria when I crashed.

&nbs
p; I prayed that Alex wasn't the one who was killed in action, and that made me feel guilty and selfish. Two other alphas led our side of the war along with Alex. Sloan and Casimir were alphas of their own packs as well as elders in the council of werewolves. There were five elders in all.

  Those three men had done more for the werewolves than anyone. They were the ones responsible for keeping us all safe.

  I didn't know Sloan or Casimir well. I just knew that they were incredibly brave and honorable on and off the battlefield.

  "Please let Alex be alright." I said to no one in particular; although I hoped the Gods heard my plea.

  When I exited the woods I saw Pavel and Cassie sitting on my back deck. Cassie had his back to me, but Pavel's eyes went straight to mine as soon as I made my appearance. He must have been waiting for me.

  As I got closer I saw a deck of cards sitting on the center of the table. They were playing poker.

  "Give me two." Pavel tossed two cards on the table and took the ones Cassie handed him as he said, "Have fun running away?"

  I narrowed my eyes at him, but didn't reply.

  He was right that time. I had been running away.

  "Leave her alone. You would have run too, if Nathan hadn't popped up." I cocked my right eyebrow at Cassiel's wording. He glanced up at me, and read my expressions. With a strained grin he explained, "We were about to leave the house when Nathan just came out of no where. He's like a pop-up book from Hades, or something."

  "Either Hades or London." I couldn't help but jokingly point out.

  "Same difference." Cassie went along with me.

  When I caught Pavel's gaze again I found myself being pulled back into the seriousness of the day. "What is it?" I asked after a few seconds, "Do you have any more terrifying news for me?" The look in his eyes was unnerving me.

  Pavel glanced down at his cards before calling, "Depends on your point of view."

  "Cassie, tell me what he's talking about." I knew I could count on Cassie for giving me the just of the situation.

  He shook his head at us in mock disapproval, "Nathan's looking for you."

  "That is terrifying news." I grumbled.

  "I told you." Pavel told me, but his tone wasn't as jolly as it normally would have been. I understood his mood, and gave him a comforting squeeze on the arm as I passed him.