I must have began shaking again, or something, because I felt Michael's arm tighten around me. I leaned back against his hard chest and let myself feel comfort from his warm embrace.
I let out a strangled deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut.
As I began sinking further into the pain and depression that had become my life, I found myself remembering Dorothea. I remembered the calmness I felt when her eyes landed on mine and the way she'd calmed all those werewolves with just one word. Werewolves were very aggressive, violent, and angry creatures. Most were stuck in the old days and would never listen to a woman the way they'd listen to a man.
"Michael," My voice, no matter how soft it had been, sounded strange in the otherwise silent room.
"Yeah?" His lips brushed against the crown of my head. He sounded partially asleep, and I knew that this would be the time to ask questions that he'd normally never answer.
"Is Dorothea a born werewolf?" I pulled the thick comforter tightly around me.
Michael's chin touched the back of my head, "Yeah. She's Casimir's daughter."
As I pulled the blankets up to my chin, my hand nudged Michael's. He had shifted to he formed a shield around me and his arm was now lying parallel to my chest. Without any consent from my brain, I began to gently run my index finger over his knuckles absently.
"When Casimir stepped down from his alpha position two years ago he had Dorothea take over for him." Michael continued, probably less than half aware of what he was saying.
"Is she mated?" I asked while willing myself to concentrate on something other than the last words my parents said to me before they left for London.
"Darien is her mate." Michael shifted anxiously behind me. I didn't have the energy to feel bad about keeping him awake. "He's an American. I've never met him."
"Isn't Dorothea an American?" I remembered her accent. She wasn't from Europe, or at least her accent wasn't.
I felt Michael shake his head, "No. She was born in Russia, but she moved to the Americas when she was young. I'm not even sure if she has memories of the Motherland."
"You make it sound like an alien planet." I mumbled, more to myself.
Michael stiffened, "Excuse me?"
I dug my head deeper into the pillow and shook my head as if saying 'never mind'. Then I had another thought, "Hey, Mikhail," I realized, after I said it, that I had switched over to the Russian form of his name. "Why did I sit with you at the senate?"
"Can we talk later?" He was really exhausted, I could tell. His voice had grown gruff in frustration, but I didn't care.
"Tell me this first. Then you can sleep."
Michael buried his face into my back, as if blocking out the rest of the world, before saying, "Emerson was just being thoughtful."
I tensed. The only reason I would sit at the table would be if I were an alpha or beta. I was neither, so I knew Michael was lying to me. "That doesn't make sense. German's are known for their schedule making. Seating me beside you must have ruined his seating arrangements, since I'm sure he had no knowledge of me coming. So why did he?" I was happy over having something else to occupy my thoughts, so I pushed further on the subject. "What does he think I am to you?"
I turned just as Michael's eyes snapped open.
"Go to sleep, Elaine." He ordered. Michael was now officially and completely awake; I could tell by his tone and the look in his bright eyes.
I shivered once, and tried to shake off the rest. "Michael, please just tell me. I need to think about this." If I didn't think about this, I'd think about everything else. If I thought about my parents' I'd turn into the wicked witch of the west and have a melt down as if someone had just drenched me in water. Then I'd do something stupid.
Michael lifted himself up so his elbows were supporting his upper body. He was now half on top of me. I shook again, but this time not out of trauma.
Then, as if my body had a mind of it's own, I arched my back until my stomach touched his.
Something in his eyes changed and suddenly he was more then just half on top of me. In one sharp movement his face was inches away from mine and his upper body was pinning me down.
I wasn't scared, but my heart was beating a mile a minute.
Michael leaned in closer and my eyes darted back from his eyes to his lips. Then, suddenly, he stopped.
He waited until I met his gaze before saying, "Go to sleep, Elaine." I had never heard such a commanding tone come out of his mouth before, at least not when he had talked to me.
Michael slipped off the bed and grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I found myself slipping into darkness and I fell asleep, just as he ordered me to.
CL
When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was the smell of the pillow my head was lying on. It smelled just like Michael, and that kept me in that bed a few seconds longer than necessary. Once the sleep was out of my eyes I pushed back the covers and left the room.
I was stiff all over and my head was pounding from the amount of tears I had shed, but I tried to ignore it all. My pain was nothing compared to what my parents were probably enduring.
As I mounted the stairs I knew I had to do something. Last night, and this morning, had been my mourning period. It had been useless and degrading, especially because I had shown such weakness in front of the beta of the pack. When I was younger I did that all the time. If I had a problem, I'd go to Michael, but now it was different. I was older and very close to my first change. I had to learn to respect, if not abide, by the rules and stature of the pack.
"I'm not sure of what to do." I froze on the bottom of the stairs when I heard my brother's voice.
"You shouldn't do anything, Joshua. Let Alexander handle everything." Michael answered level headedly. He was playing the role as an anger management counselor. I could tell because of the tone he was using. It was calm and nonchalant, while at the same time authoritative.
"I can't just sit here and do nothing." Josh was apparently having the same difficulties as me. That wasn't comforting, because if he couldn't do anything than I didn't have much of a chance. He was a full werewolf after all, and I was, strictly speaking, just a human.
"Well you can't go looking for them either. You'll get yourself killed or kidnapped. What would that accomplish?" Michael kept his cool, but I knew the signs of his anger fairly well, better than most. He was a little agitated.
"I won't get kidnapped or killed." Josh stated stubbornly.
"Your parents thought that too, and think about where they are now. They're being held by Nicolai." Michael responded instantly. I inched off the stairs and slowly, almost snail speed, made my way down the hallway. I kept my back against the wall so I wouldn't be seen.
Josh grumbled, "Are you calling me an idiot?"
"I am if you're thinking of discarding my advice." Michael growled back.
I heard Josh sigh heavily, "Then what am I supposed to do?"
There was a pause before Michael said, "Wait for Alex to give you an order."
"I can't do that!" A screeching sound told me that someone had shoved back a chair. I assumed it was Josh because a second later I saw him walk into my view. He didn't notice me as he stalked towards the back door.
I stepped out of the shadows just as Josh shoved open the sliding door and slammed it shut. I stared at the shaking doorframe before making my appearance.
"Did you get any sleep?"
It didn't surprise me that Michael had noticed my entrance. "Yeah." I stayed in the archway because I was unsure of what to do. "Thank you for letting me stay in your room."
"It's not a problem." He replied instantly.
"I'm sorry for starting a fight earlier." I was sorry, but I wasn't sure if I should be apologizing or not. I hadn't done it intentionally, after all.
Michael looked up from his plate of eggs and bacon and fixed me with a strange stare. He didn't say anything, though.
"I'm going after Josh." I crossed the kitchen with quick steps, but I wasn't fast e
nough to beat a werewolf. Michael was up and had a hold of my arm before I could slip out of the back door.
"You should stay close to the house." The beta warned me.
I nodded tightly before exiting the pack house. Then I ran home. I changed, brushed my hair back into a ponytail, and started back downstairs in less than five minutes. But, I stopped before I reached the stairs.
The door to my parents' room was ajar.
I pushed the door until it was open enough for me to walk inside without having to turn sideways. The bed wasn't made, clothes were piled on the dresser waiting to be put away, and the door to my father's closet was open. It looked lived in and normal. The room looked like any other adult's room, I assumed.
My eyes landed on the trunk at the foot of their bed. I walked up to it as if in a trance. I knelt down and pushed the chest open. A blanket was the first thing I saw. I lifted it and underneath was the treasure.
Hot tears glazed over my eyes, but I refused to let any more tears fall.
I rested my hand over the covered blade of my mom's sword and caressed the carved hilt. Celtic symbols were engraved in the design, but I didn't know what they meant. Knowing my mother they had something to do with strength or bravery.
Then, without hesitating, I picked up the sword.
A plan quickly formed in my mind as I walked down the stairs and out of my house.
It was almost noon, but the sun wasn't hot against my skin. There was a heavy breeze carrying the scent of fall and it kept any sweat from forming on my skin.
"Hey," Pavel walked into view. "Where are you going?" I could tell he was silently adding 'with that' because his eyes fell to the sword in my hands.
"I'm going to have Gabriel train me." I felt that it would be easier to ask Gabriel. Michael would wait to ask Alex if it was alright, if not flat out refuse because he thought I was jumping into this because of what had happened. Gabriel, on the other hand, had hinted about training me before. Okay, maybe not hinted, but he said that I needed to learn to fight like the enemy. He knew how to fight like them. So he could teach me. That was my logic, anyway.
Pavel stared at me, "You're kidding? No, you're serious. You're kidding. I can't tell."
I kept walking and he got into step beside me so we were walking at the same pace. "I'm completely serious."
"Elaine," Pavel stopped me by putting his arm out in front of me, "You can't go find your parents."
"Why not?" I wailed angrily, "They're my parents! My family! My pack! Why the hell can't I go out and find them?"
"Because you can't fight a fully changed werewolf!" Pavel growled out, "You wouldn't survive. You barely survived in London."
I flinched away from him as I remembered that attack I had experienced.
"I will fight to find my parent's, Pavel." I sidestepped around him and half ran into the woods. I knew Gabriel would be training with the Luperco. Hopefully Michael wouldn't join them until later.
Sweat clogged my skin and poured down my neck as I broke through the tree line and into the clearing; the one we used for full moon gatherings. The Luperco also used it for training.
There were about twelve men in the field, including Cassiel who was standing on the outside looking in. I ignored him intentionally and marched straight up to his brother, who was dueling with Morris.
Morris didn't look so good. Sure, his form was excellent and his combat moves were perfect to a t, but there was something off about him. I guessed that the news of my parents hit him hard, as well. My father had been a mentor to him ever since he had been forcibly changed. I assumed that he'd taken over my father's place as the mid-ranking male, meaning that he was now in charge of all the males ranking below him, since my father's disappearance.
He didn't seem pleased with the promotion.
Morris lifted his broad sword and slammed it into Gabriel's. I was a few feet away, but I saw the vibrations going through both of them.
Then Gabriel stepped back, "Two minutes." I was confused, but understood as soon as he turned to me. I took a step forward and opened my mouth, but Gabriel signaled me to keep my mouth shut with a wave of his hand. He started walking towards the back of the field.
I sighed heavily, to rid myself of the nerves that had built in my stomach, and followed him. "Gabriel, I,"
Gabriel held up his hand and I stopped talking immediately. "No." He told me solidly.
I frowned, "What?"
"No." he repeated and began shaking his head.
I rolled my eyes and folded my arms as well as I could with the sword in my hand, "You don't even know what I'm going to ask."
Gabriel nodded, "Ah, but you are going to ask something." He pointed out.
"Gabriel, if you'd only hear me out." I started.
He shook his head again, more firmly, "You can't go find your parents."
I growled at him before smuggling most of my anger and said, "Why does everyone keep telling me that? Why is it so impossible for me to go find them?"
"Because you're you." Cassiel's voice made me jump.
I looked at him long enough to send him a glare before turning back to his brother, "Say something!"
While growling angrily, Gabriel touched the back of my shoulder, near my bicep, and led me further into the corner of the clearing. He sent a hasty glance over at the group of training Luperco, and turned back to me after a second of studying each of them. He must have accepted that no one was eavesdropping because he said, "Listen, if you want to find out where your parents are, then there's only one thing that we can do."
"I'll do anything." I told him instantly. Cassiel shifted slightly and I saw him moving, out of the corner of my eye.
"We'll have to go Underground." Gabriel responded.
"Go where?" I asked, dumbfounded.
Gabriel didn't seem too annoyed that I had interrupted him, "We'll need to go to the LUR."
Cassiel, who was standing directly beside me at that point, scoffed, "Underground? Oh, please don't tell me we're going into the sewage. That's all Elaine needs in this stage of her depression." Cassiel jabbed me in the rib jokingly. I glared at him, half-heartedly, as I noticed the half bitten back grin that had stretched across his lips. "Trudging through other people's filth." His grin flipped upside-down and he shuddered.
Gabriel sighed heavily, annoyed, and shook his head, "Don't think so literally."
"Okay," Cassiel's tone was thoughtful as was his expression, "LUR…. Limited Urinal Resistance...?"
Despite the fact that I was biting down, pretty firmly, on my lip, I busted out laughing.
Gabriel simply fixed his younger sibling with a strange stare. "London Underground Racing." The look in Gabriel's eyes was enough to make me stop laughing.
"Oh," Cassiel turned more serious, but I noticed his smile hadn't deflated, "That makes more sense."
"Be ready to leave at seven." With that said, Gabriel sprinted back to the Luperco.
CL
I was stuck in the middle of Cassiel and Gabriel in the very tiny backseat of a taxi. I never realized how small backseats were before, but I guess it was because I was between two muscular guys who were each about two times my size. "Seeing London is getting old." I said to no in particular.
"Seeing London never gets old." Cassiel said from my right. He was lounging with his left around wrapped around my shoulders and his head resting against the window.
I glanced over at him, "We've been here three times in the last month."
Cassiel grinned, "You have. I've only been to London once this month." He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes and smiled even wider.
I sighed, "Okay, so I'm the only one who's sick of London."
I heard Gabriel sigh beside me. Before I could turn to face him I felt his breath against my neck, "There's no reason to worry, baby girl. Nicolai is long gone." The mint gum he was chewing was on his breath.
"I'm not worried." I grumbled under my breath as I sat back in my seat and crossed my arms. I always hate
d when the pack did that. They always seemed to know what I was feeling. Josh told me once that it was because they could smell my anxiousness. Terrific.
Soon we were out of the cab and walking down the sidewalk. "I hope you know where we're going, because," I glanced around, "I have no idea where I am."
"Just trust me sweetheart," Gabriel came closer to me and I expected him to lay his arm over my shoulder, but he instead laced his fingers through mine. "I know where we're going."
Cassiel laughed from about a half a step behind us. "Yeah, I've heard stories about you and your knowledge of the back streets of London."
I felt Gabriel grow tense, "We have other things to think about Cassiel."
It was my turn to tense up. I shifted awkwardly and glanced down at the paved ground.
"On that thought, Elaine I need you to promise me that you're not going to run off and start questioning everyone. The last thing we need is for you to start a mosh pit." Gabriel said gruffly.
"What exactly is London Underground Racing?" I turned to him.
Gabriel slowed to a stop and I stopped beside him, "It's the only place to get the information that the alphas try to keep quiet."
I met Gabriel's gaze and realized just how serious he was being because of the color of his eyes; they were almost sunflower yellow, with only a mix of honey around the pupils. "I won't leave your side." I promised him after a moments pause.
"Good." Gabriel continued to walk and soon I found myself being led through a maze of alleyways. For a while Gabriel was the only thing keeping me from walking straight into a wall. There weren't any streetlights where we were walking.
It was like we were kids again and were playing Red Rover or something like that, because I was walking while holding both Cassiel's and Gabriel's hands. The only difference between the game and reality was that Gabriel was the only one who could see.
"I know where I'm going Elaine." Gabriel barked, "You can stop squeezing my hand so hard." He sounded amused.
I scoffed, but loosened my hold on his hand anyway, even though I was sure he was just teasing me. He was a werewolf after all. I was certain that Gabriel wasn't bothered at all by the fact that I was squeezing the life out of his hand.
Howl (Howl Book 1) Page 27