Forbidden Forever

by Christy Dilg

  I interrupt her with, "Why do you stay?"

  Without a breath, she says, "My kids."

  Chapter 4

  Her daughter and son are her life and that is what keeps her going every day. She wants them to have the world and that is what I want to give her. I stare at her in silence and decide to open up to get her mind off whatever has removed that amazing smile from her face.

  "My wife and I just don't ever get along. I'm probably just as unhappy as you but in different ways. She is always more into what I can do to make her more money than focusing on our relationship being nonexistent. I love being with you. Seeing you smile makes my whole day. I find myself wanting to do more things to see it. Maybe we can be adults and keep things friendly without getting out of control. Maybe each other's company will bring some happiness in our lives without breaking any rules."

  She shrugs her shoulders, smiles, and looks at the table. I know there is something pulling us together, I just don't know how we are going to let go and accept it without acting on it.

  "I don't believe in adultery. It's the one sin in my life I haven't committed and I really wanted to stick to it," she says.

  I agree because I will be with her anyway I can have her. Friendship is a start, and one day I will prove to her that we belong together. Every way and every day I will make it my mission to treat her like a princess, even after the day she finally comes home to her prince. In this moment, I know my marriage is over and I will find a way to end it. She holds me tight on the way back to the office and when she takes the helmet off, her hair is mashed to her head. I would laugh, but I don't want to make her upset, so I just watch her.

  "You enchant me. You have no idea what you do to my soul," I whisper.

  "Chance, you can't say things like that to me and expect this to be an easy friendship. I am committed to my marriage and you should be committed to yours," she explains.

  "My marriage isn't what most marriages start out to be, Laney. We didn't marry for love," I murmur to her.

  "What is that supposed to mean?" she questions me.

  "For another time. Just know I have been faithful to my wife for 6 years and she is just as unhappy as I am. It is time for a change and you are my change. One day I will prove to you that this is right; we are meant to be wrapped in each other for the rest of our lives. Until you open your eyes and heart and feel that faith has put us together to bring us undue happiness then I will wait by your side and show you every day that you are my future."

  I reach my hand out and grab a hold of her chin. "One day I will kiss you and when I do, love, it will be epic," I whisper.

  Laney's POV

  Over the next few months we seem to work out great as friends; always talking and going to lunch from time to time, along with the daily hugs. The flirting gets more intense every day we work together; a glance, a brush of the hand, and that damn smell that awakens something inside me that wants to be let out. Sierra and I decide to have a girl's day out: shopping and catching up on each other's lives. Work has been crazy and she hasn't had many free lunches available. I miss her acting like a fool on those days, trying to get the hot cop's attention.

  We head to the town square for some much needed girl time, and of course the Cheesecake Factory, which is by far my favorite place to go with my best friend. We get a table and order while she tells me about Brooke's new boyfriend and their first date to the bowling alley. Apparently Brooke beat him and he doesn't handle being beaten by a girl very easily, so he stomped off and locked himself in the bathroom for thirty minutes. What the fuck! There are no words for a man who can't handle defeat by a woman; I can't help but laugh hysterically. The waitress brings our meals: a Mexican tortilla salad for me and the chicken quesadillas for Sierra. She is rambling on about all the people we have lost at work. Both of us wonder about what is going on since neither of us has a clue.

  "So what is up with Dr. Turner?" she asks. I roll my eyes and shake my head.

  "Girl, you know nothing is going on with us. He is my boss and we have become really good friends. Sure I'd like to lick him from time to time, but we are both married so that is not going to happen," I tell her.

  "I see how he looks at you, Laney. It's like you are the only one in the room, and, to be frank, I think he would love to lick you, too. Just well... somewhere a little wetter," Sierra jokes.

  My mouth drops. "Oh my God, you are a dirty girl. I can't even think about that without getting wet," I tell her.

  "We need to find other ways to pass the time other than talking about Dr. Turner or they will be mopping the floor around us," Sierra utters.

  I say in all honesty, "Dr. Chance Turner boils my bubbles." In unison we both bust out laughing hysterically.

  Sierra, laughing, says, "Laney, he boils your bubbles. What the fuck does that mean anyway?"

  I laugh and explain my point. "He is so hot that I basically heat up to a boil and once the bubbles start boiling, he does or says something that makes those bubbles boil. Just use your imagination."

  "Laney, that is a fucking awesome way of describing being turned on," Sierra utters.

  "Well, you know me, girl, fucking awesome!" I joke.

  Callie texts me saying she is staying at Elizabeth's house tonight so I don't have to wait up. I send a quick text to Kaleb for a check up on how his day is going.

  He replies, "Dude, Ma, I'm fine. You don't have to check up on me all the time. I'm skating with Joel and Mark."

  I roll my eyes and reply, "I only check because I care, and that, son, won't ever change. Love you."

  I swear boys are so difficult. Sierra and I share a 50th anniversary chocolate cake cheesecake, then we head home. I drop Sierra off to her car once we get back into town, which is at the hospital. When we pull in, I notice Dr. Turner's motorcycle in the parking lot and decide to check to see if there is anything I can help with.

  Opening the door to his office, I see his back is to the door so I call out, "Sorry to bother you. I was just dropping Sierra off to her car and seen you were still here so I thought I would see if there was something I could do for you."

  That wicked grin stretches across his face and I can feel the heat on my cheeks as I blush.

  "Laney, you could just keep me company if you have time. I just wasn't quite ready to go home and thought I would catch up on some paperwork for this big proposal we have coming up. This must have been the reason I just couldn't bring myself to leave. When I close my eyes I see your face, but having it here in the flesh is breathtaking. Tell me about your evening."

  Waving my hand, I brush off the words and feel self-conscious with his eyes on me. My hands automatically go straight to cover my stomach so he can't see the bulge that is noticeable through my outfit. I start rambling about the shopping experience and how I could spend all day there. The stores are designer and sometimes I feel so out of place, but they are truly remarkable. The Tiffany and Co. building sparkles on the outside, but the inside radiates with shimmering beauty. He laughs at my reaction to the building, which makes me giggle and stumble over my words as I try to explain what I mean. It just doesn't work and I am making myself look like a goofy teenager. Oh well...I can't change it now. It is what it is and I can't apologize for being a complete lunatic.

  "One day I am going to give you the world, and all it will take is you letting me in yours." His voice is full of such hope.

  I can't help but smile and peer up at him with the longing that one day I can let myself go, run into his arms, and never let him go.

  Things at home are getting bad again and I get this fear in my gut every time I go home. Today was no different; I was in the kitchen cooking when Michael walks in from work, slamming the door behind him. I can see the anger in his eyes so I take in a deep breath to prepare myself for whatever jackass moment he is going to unleash. He looks at me with disgust. "You need to do something, Laney. You have really let yourself go. When is the last time you went to the gym?" I whisper to myself...yesterday.r />
  "I don't understand how you say you are eating nothing, but yet here you stand in front of me with more rolls than Merita Bakery. You are ruining my life. Do you have any idea what these years have been like for me? Coming home to someone who looks like you makes my stomach turn. There is no excuse for you being this way. I can't even look at you. I have to force myself to have sex with you and close my eyes to picture you the way you were before. You disgust me."

  He walks out and slams the bedroom door. In what felt like one long sentence, one stab after another, I just broke down. Falling to the kitchen floor, all I want to do was die. My weight is the reason for everything. All the hate he has built up in him is from something I have tried to control. The honesty hurt so deeply I don't think I will ever look at him the same again. He is a monster! No longer the husband that was an asshole from time to time, but instead he is a pure evil monster. He took away my dreams because Mr. Successful needed a trophy wife beside him in order to be Mr. Perfect to the world. Well...to everyone but me. I know the truth behind the mask he wears. I know the monster he is and that it is always taken out on me in unforgivable ways; however, I keep trying and I keep staying for more. No one could ever imagine that words could hurt someone so severely, but those words feel more like infected wounds that are never going to heal.

  My mind goes to my reason for staying; thankfully Callie was over at Elizabeth's so she wasn't there while he spit out his abuse, and Kaleb was still out doing who knows what. He always says skating, but a month ago he was brought home with a police escort for throwing rocks into people's windows. Michael usually made sure the kids were out when he lost it; I mean surely we wouldn't want Mr. Perfect to be seen in any other way to his kids. I pick myself up and head to bed where I lay most of the night, not sleeping, but thinking of how I see myself and how he sees me. I must not see myself right; somehow my head must play tricks on me when I look in the mirror. I know I am overweight, but disgusting? NO! I replay the conversation in my head over and over until my head just can't take it anymore. I finally doze off to an endless night of tossing and turning next to a monster, in fear of what might happen next.

  Chapter 5

  After a restless sleep, I get up and get ready for my day at work, a place people normally want to get away from, but I want to run to. Chance is standing at my desk when I walk in. I shut the door behind me. It's earlier than a normal business day so not many workers are here. One look at him and I can't control the need I feel inside; basically throwing myself on him, he wraps his muscular arms around me. I feel the static that always draws me to him. I lift my head up and our eyes meet as I feel the firmness growing in his pants pressing up against my leg. The longing of him is making the pleasure of being this close so much greater. The sexual desire for months has been building up and is as heightened as it could be without just coming apart on my own. I want his hands on me. I need him to taste me. I need to feel him in me.

  I grab his face and he presses my back to the wall. Grabbing my face in his hands, he looks deeply into my eyes, making sure this is what I want. He knows by the look on my face that I am ready to completely give myself to him. His hand slides up my back and pulls my light blue blouse out of the pants, never taking his eyes off mine. I pull off his doctor's coat and start unbuttoning his dark purple long sleeve shirt. Taking in the deep smell of him, I know I have just begun to feel how amazing this is going to be no matter how wrong it is. He has opened my shirt by this point and I drag his shirt off and toss it somewhere below us. I see for the first time a sleeve of tattoos that seems to hold a special theme, like some remarkable work of art, as it flows to his back and down his chest. It is truly the hottest thing I've ever seen. It looks like a history of pain and happiness; something I would study later when I have more time to think clearly.

  He starts undoing my pants, then his mouth drop as his hands slide my pants down my legs to the floor and he grabs my bare ass. Cocking his head, his grin turns up as he speaks, "Commando? Naughty girl you should be spanked! It's so fucking hot." Blushing, I am standing pressed against the office wall in my bra and work shirt when he pulls back, holds me at arm's length, and looks at me more closely than I would prefer.

  Up and down glances with a hint of something sinful in his eyes as he leans in and whispers in my ear, "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. These legs, these hips." Gliding his fingers over my bra to release my breasts, he continues, "Baby, you are very much everything I've ever wanted."

  I don't think, I just act; my body cannot take it anymore. I grab him hard and kiss him with so much passion that I nearly cum right there. The way he touches me gives me a feeling I have been wanting for so long. Wanted! I reach down and feel his cock in my hand; it's so hard and I can't wait to taste it. I slowly move my body lower as he watches me intensely and I lick up the side, wetting my lips with each stroke. Finally, I take him in, sucking hard and fast. He lets out a moan. His salty taste is doing things to me that I wouldn't have dreamed of. He grabs my arm and pulls me back to him and kisses me again. He slides his hand down to the spot just below my stomach and once he reaches my opening, he slides his finger in a gentle teasing way, as if to send me over the edge. Two fingers now and I can barely contain myself. Just before he grabs me up, I wrap my arms around him as he lowers me onto his cock.

  Oh my God. I have just reached a peak of holy fucking yes. The pulsating sensation rushing through my body is unbelievable. He wraps his arms around me, letting out slight moans in between kisses and thrusts. I am about to come to my release when I feel him shiver. It's like we are set to the same climax spot because we both cum at the same time and freeze, breathing fast; slowly, he kisses me. His hands are all in my hair and touching my every curve, every handle.

  He whispers in my ear again, "Oh, Laney, you are worth losing everything for because without you, I truly have nothing. I have never felt so complete, so whole until now. I am afraid to move and realize this was a daydream." He looks me in the eyes and says, "You are my daydream!" Smiling, I nuzzle his neck. We gather ourselves and relax on the chair together before even thinking about work. I don't know what will happen now.

  I stepped over a line I said I would never cross, but this man makes me feel beautiful and smart; I feel empowered by him. In this moment, I know I will never be the same person from now on; I will be a stronger one. "I have wanted you for so long and I never dreamed it would be even more than I dreamed it would. Let's not think about what's next, let's just think about now," he says. I lay my head on his chest and we sit for what seems like eternity, but really only a half hour before our day has to begin as boss and employee. The day goes by like a blur thankfully, because I don't want to think about what I just did with a married man and I, the unfaithful married woman. I smell like Chance and his smell is even more intoxicating than ever. All I want is more, but I know we have to both go home to our spouses, the people who make us so unhappy. Michael probably deserves being treated like this, but what about Chance's wife? What have I done to her marriage? Now I am the monster.

  My thoughts consume me for the remainder of the evening. This poor woman and what my actions would do to her. I start to wonder what she is like and then I step into reality with my own husband. The man I vowed to love and cherish through the good and the bad times. I broke our vows because I was being selfish. Selfish, something Michael always said I was because I wouldn't lose weight for him. He always said it was my fault I turned into a cow and it would be understandable if it was a medical condition, however this was something I could control. "What a jerk," I whisper to myself. Why do I defend him for his actions and feel horrible about my own? He did this just as much as much as I did. He pushed me away. His words wounded my spirit, my soul; he wounded me. Callie is home tonight so things are great. One big happy family mixed with the heartache I feel every time she talks about her daddy. She really does love all that was good about him. My kids would hate me for what I've done to our family. This has to remain
a secret.

  What have I done to my family?

  How is this going to affect Callie and Kaleb?

  What am I going to do?

  Fear has washed over me and now all I can do is decide what to do with what I have done. Affairs. I thought they were supposed to be exciting from all the books I read, and instead I feel like I killed someone. Me. What will it be like when I see him tomorrow at work? Questions fill me up like a cup of overflowing tainted water. Sleep. I need sleep.

  Chance's POV

  Damn, I slept well. The best I've slept in years and I wonder if it is because I finally found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Not someone I had to marry due to circumstances from a wild and reckless night. I arrive at work and go straight to my office and put on my white doctor's coat, then walk out to Laney's desk, waiting for her arrival, but try to look as though I am actually doing something involving work. I know it will be at least an hour before she gets here but I just can't bring myself to do anything but wait like a damn pussy whipped dumbass that hasn't even gotten any pussy. Minutes pass by that feel like hours, hell even days, and then I see a figure in the doorway and it's her. Wow, she literally takes my breath away every time I see her.