“I think I will.” Came Chase’s fevered response to Emily’s statement.
As I turn to give Chase the same glare, I was surprised to be accosted by pillow soft lips. H-E-A-V-E-N! Everything faded away. There was no more Keisha, no more Emily, no more hallways and no more school. It was only my receiving lips and Chase was certainly giving me all he had. The feel of his luscious lips descending at different angles and slowly retreating, was taking my mind to places it’s never been. I’ve never in my life had the opportunity to play these cat and mouse tantalizing games with another, it’s exhilarating.
“Please” was whispered across my lips as his lips descended, yet again.
My mind is working overtime. This is the most erotic encounter I’ve had in my life, that’s saying a lot. What is he pleading for? Why is he pleasing me? Doesn’t he know he can have anything he wants form me in this particular moment?
“Please…please kiss me.” He whispers across my lips.
Did he expect me to verbally answer……?
“YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! HOT – AS – HELL! She’s got him begging for it Keisha! Where is the popcorn when you need it? Our girl here is pretty simple because I would have had him nibbling and sucking on something entirely different than the lips on my face! But, everyone can’t be a boss like me, can they? PLEASE…PLEASE….he’s begging for it…girl, give that man something he can feel!”
Him? Hell, I was having enough trouble standing and he wants me to formulate words (something my girls are not having problems with). I don’t have enough brain cells to articulate a complete sentence at this moment. A genius, I am not.
“Mmmm” was my unintelligent response. My lips started to respond to his lips demanding request, to join in the lip locking party.
Please lord, let that be enough. I wrapped my arms around his neck to gently guide his face to mine. His lips began to descend with more urgency. His tongue pressed against the seam of my lips. That little bit of contact sent all the nerves in my body haywire. My nipples pebbled, my breathing quickened, and my panties were drenched.
What do you do when someone is giving you exactly what you’ve always imagined a kiss should be? Let me tell you, I graciously stood there and received everything he offered me. His tongues moist command was obeyed without a second thought. His tongue breached my own pillowed gates to plunder my soul and I did not hesitate. I’m waving the white flag…I’ve surrender with haste.
“Mmmm” This time the pleasured sounds were coming from him.
If it were possible to become merged into one, in this moment I would have done anything to accomplish that task. I pressed myself closer, if that was even possible. I imprinted my chest onto him. I was assaulted by a whole new sensation as my tight sensitive nipples pressed against his chest.
“Chase!” I feverishly whispered against his lips.
My senses were on overdrive from the sensual mint assault in my mouth, combined with the pleasing friction of my nipples. I was on the verge of an orgasm. I have never been this turned on by a guy of my own choosing. If my back wasn’t against the wall and Chase’s arms supporting me, I would have toppled over a while ago.
“GET A FUCKING ROOM!”
Who…who was that? It was slowly coming back to me. My face started to redden from the utter embarrassment of my lack of control. This is so not me. Hopefully, no one other than my girls noticed our totally inappropriate behavior.
“This is so embarrassing.” This statement was said to know one in particular.
“You think! Why don’t you untangle yourself from your stud muffin, so that we can get some lunch.” Keisha said.
“She doesn’t need lunch, she should be full after sucking down half his face! Did he fill you up Amber?” Emily is such an ass sometimes. I turned to tell her just that, when…
“Man, I told you they are a bunch of whores. I bet the new dude has already hit that shit.”
This comment came from an obvious witness to my lip lock with Chase. I felt Chase’s muscles twitch where my hands lay. I was intending to simply ignore the comment. I’ve learned a long time ago that you cannot change people’s views of who they think you are.
Who they believe I am, is no concern of mine. I will not lose any sleep because ‘Mr. I wish I could tap that,’ calls me a whore. Honestly, I’ve been called worse. I shake my head and look at my girls.
“You ready to grab something to eat?” Emily and Keisha nod their heads. I then look up at Chase to ask if he wanted to join us in the cafeteria.
“Babe, you want…”
My question was suddenly forgotten. The heated glare that met my eyes was unnerving. Chase looked from me, my girls and the bold outspoken asshole, which was at this moment walking by us.
“Hey, let me explain an important fact about myself, Chase Mitchell. I don’t need a protector. If there is a battle to be fought I prefer to fight it myself. I don’t let stupid comments like these assholes are spewing, get to me. That fucker doesn’t know me. Believe me, the only person that knows who I’ve been intimate with, is me. And, I’m far from a whore! So, his words don’t affect me.” I was so proud of myself, I sounded all grownup.
“Babe!” he growls and leans down to kiss my forehead. “You amaze me…” he was cut off from whatever he was going to say by Mr. Asshole himself.
“Hey, Bro … I got a bet going on with my boys. Have you hit that yet? Did she at least make you wait twenty-four hour to tap that?” He was chuckling his question with no obvious hesitation.
What the HELL! Chase moved so fast. The chuckling was replaced by a gurgling sound. My eyes were trying to catch the extremely fast movement in front of me. I saw fist flying, like startled birds taken flight. Unfortunately, for the other guy the punches were landing precisely on its target…his face. His opponent was dropped to the ground by a vicious knee punch. Is there a thing as a knee punch?
Well, that’s what I’m going to call it because that’s the best I can come up with at the moment.
Jesus….who moves like this? BEAUTIFUL! DEADLY! GRACEFULL! WHAT A SIGHT TO SEE! Let’s not forget, FAST! This was controlled – wild - reckless movements, which I have only seen on television with MMA fighters. While I was admiring this beautiful disaster in front of me, it dawned on me that Chase was holding this no named jerk in a chokehold.
“Hommie, if you know what’s best for you, you’ll let up on Brian!” Was he talking about Brian, THE Brian Jacobs? The Brian Jacobs, who is currently the prized quarterback of our football team?
“Listen, if you know what’s best for you, you’ll fuck off because this has nothing to do with you!” Chase responded.
I noticed that, Chase was not breathing hard from his tussle with Brian. He maintained the hold around his adversary’s neck. I did notice that he lessened the pressure of the neck hold. The hold looked worse than it really was.
“Jeremy, if I were you I would butt out.” Keisha said from the side.
I was shocked by the turn of events unfolding in front of me. I completely lost my voice. Hell, moments ago I was so engrossed with Chase Mitchell, that I did not recognize our own star quarterback or his sidekick, Jeremy Thompson. I was so engrossed in Chase that until this actual moment, I didn’t realize that our little group had migrated to the, Make-Out Hall, which is located far enough away from the cafeteria that no one has stumbled across this brawl.
“FUCK OFF, YOU SLEAZY WHORE!” Jeremy yells at Keisha while he simultaneously rushed towards Chase’s back to help his friend.
“SHIT…Chase!” I yell a frantic warning.
One moment, Chase had Brian in a loose neck hold. The next moment, the hold was released. Chase quickly got to his feet and Brian went on all fours, coughing and sputtering for air. Chase side stepped his attacker which caused Jeremy’s jab to sail pass his face. Chase countered with a hook to the body. He followed that with a vicious knee punch, which promptly sent Jeremy to the floor gasping for breath alongside his friend.
; “Chase, that’s enough! Let’s go before someone comes by and sees all of this.” I wave my hands at the two battered bodies. “I told you before that I don’t need a man to fight my battles. What’s a little name calling compared to you getting suspended or expelled for this shit?”
I let him hear the disapproval in my voice, but my eyes…my eyes were heated. Yes, I’m guilty… who wouldn’t be a little turned on after bearing witness to something like this. They write books all the time about men defending their woman’s honor. This is what happens in all the fairytales that are read to little girls nightly. A shiny knight comes along to save the princess and the story ends with a happily ever after.
It’s nice and all, but completely unrealistic and unnecessary. This is real life, bad things happen. What if the tables were turned? What if it was Chase on the ground gasping for breath? A shiver ran through me. Oh my GOD, he could be hurt. Is he hurt?
I quickly assessed Chase for damages. My eyes darted from his chest, arms, hands, legs and finally his face. The look that he returned was just as heated as mine. Is that anger? Is that confusion? Could it be the beginning of love, staring back at me? NOOOOO…that look is one hundred percent alpha, pissed off male glaring back at me. I let out a deep breath that I didn’t know I was holding. There is no damage that my eyes can see.
“Shut – Up - Amber! The guy just defended your lousy honor and you’re giving him the third degree!” Emily shook her head. “If you didn’t want him to ride in too save your stupid ass on this beautiful, spectacular, rumble in the goddamned jungle, of a day; well, too fucking bad! As I recall, it wasn’t just your honor he was defending.” She turns to Chase.
“You can defend me any day of the week lover boy!” She turns back to me. “Come on Amber, he’s already wiped the floor with these two dipshits! He can’t take it back now, what’s done is done. But, be my guest; keep on complaining and kicking a gift horse in the face. Let me tell you this, if you don’t want to play the role of damsel in distress, I’ll gladly take your place. ANYTIME…NIGHT…OR, DAY! Keep that in mind the next time you open your ungrateful mouth.”
“Emily, you go too far sometimes!” Keisha gaped at her and shook her head.
“What? Amber knows I’m fucking around. I don’t do seconds…I mean look at me.” She twirls around in a circle so that we could get a good look at her body. “With all of this goodness, does it look like I need someone’s trash, especially, sloppy seconds from my best friend? Ahh, Gross! I might talk a good game, but you both know I’m not that type of girl.” Emily pointed in my direction. “By the way, I wasn’t calling your man trash so don’t look at me like that. Grab He-Man, and let’s kick rocks before these guys get up for round two.”
Chase walks over to me and snakes his arm around my waist to bring me into the protection of his body. I must admit, it is one thing thinking your protected and another, knowing that you are protected. It’s a wonderful feeling. In this moment I know that this man could…would, protect me from anyone that intended to cause me harm. The question is… would I allow him to do it? NO! It’s tempting, but as I said before, I will fight my own battles. I have a feeling that the battle I am facing, will turn out to be frightful.
Chapter 10
The bell has rung and I scurry to my car to head home as fast as I can. I was excited about the upcoming picnic. To see Chase again and visit with Peanut, was such a tempting treat to dangle in front of me all day long. It was hard to concentrate in any of my classes, my mind kept wondering to him. Will he hold me? Will he kiss me? What are we going to talk about? Is this official? Are we a couple? As quickly as the excitement and wondering questions came, my thoughts veered in a dangerous direction. Darker questions started to creep into my blissfulness.
What am I going to do? What if my dad finds out? How can I try something new when my life is in such turmoil? If he finds out about what’s been going on, will he think I’m a slut? Will he hate me? Will he think I am a willing party in this vile sickness, I call family and life? How can I kiss him - taint him - with the depravity I call my life? I can’t do this! I can’t drag him into my warped life! What if he finds out? OH MY GOD, what if he finds OUT? I have to stop this! I can’t let him in! I can’t love him! WHY! WHY! WHY! I’m going to lose him! NO! NO! NO! NO! Please GOD, I can’t lose the only hope of something normal! PLEASE! PLEASE GOD, I NEED YOUR GUIDANCE! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
By the time I turned the corner onto my block, I was in full blown panic mode. My body was on system overload. I was shaking uncontrollably, each intake of breath was quick and shallow. My driveway came into view and I quickly pulled into my spot. I was afraid that I might pass out.
Slowly Breathe…..
Slow Your Breathing…..
Calm Down…..
Breathe…..
Deep and Slow……
You got this, just BREATHE…..
As I journey back to the here and now, I am finally able to get my self-induced panic attack under control. I lift my head and notice that my mother’s car is parked in the driveway. What? What’s going on? She’s never home! Mom’s home! I get a little excited knowing she’s home, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen her. This is exactly what I needed to get me out of my slump. I straighten and exit my car.
My plan was to quickly freshen up and change clothes before meeting Chase and Peanut, for our picnic. Having mom home is such a rare occasion that she trumps everything at this moment. I wonder what’s going on. I better let Chase know that I will be a little late for our date. I first need to check on my mother, to make sure everything is okay before I head out.
My Number (to Chase) – Can’t wait for our date!
“Mom? Mom, where are you?” I yell as I close the front door behind me.
“Sweetheart, I’m in the kitchen!”
(Bird chirping ringtone)
Chase Number – I’m the one who can’t wait. Peanut is so excited about the picnic….Lol!!
I walk into the kitchen with a smile on my face. My focus isn’t on the steps that I’m taking guiding me to my mother’s location, my focus is glued to the screen of my cellphone.
My Number (to Chase) – Bad news, I’ll be one hour late for our date.
I look up from my texting, mom starts laughing at me and shaking her head.
“What?”
“Nothing! It has been a long time since I’ve seen a smile on your face, sweetheart…I’ve missed your beautiful smile. Matter of fact, I haven’t seen you for a while.” A sad shadow creeps over her facial features.
I walk over to the kitchen table where mom was now sitting, without a seconds thought I throw my arms around her neck. She’s right, it’s been so long since I have actually seen her, since I’ve spent quality time with her. Due to her schedule, my mother usually arrives home around two in the morning and leaves for work before I arrive from school. During my suspension, she was out of town majority of the time. It’s a rare treat for me to have her home. Years….It’s been years….Mom mirrors my movement and hugs me back.
YEARS….all of a sudden the repercussion of her continuous absence crushes me, I can’t let go of her. I hang on for dear life. I can’t help it, I’ve missed her. How is it that you can share a roof, share space, share a life with someone, but still feel as if the individual has been absent from your life forever?
I have the urge to scream, “Mommy please don’t go! Mommy, please don’t leave me again! Mommy, please save me from the monsters that hides from you, but attack me in the end!” But, I don’t. I am forbidden to speak of my fears. I cannot voice my hurts. Because, if I dare to upset his rule, to speak of his ill treatment of me, melee will ensue and there will be casualties.
I can only hold her close and pray that one day she will be able to forgive me for the things I have done. Instead, I hug her tight and silently scream, I’M SORRY…I’M SO SORRY! I hold her tight silently praying for her understanding. Praying, that she will realize I’m protecting her from the physical harm that he
has said he would inflict on her, if I ever uttered one word of the horrors this shell of a house hides from her. So, I continue to hold her tight because that’s all I can do!
“Amber…honey, is something wrong? You know you can always talk to me…you know that…right?”
I don’t speak, I continue to hold her tight. Tears of frustration escape the confines of their prison, at this moment I am just too weak and weary to halt their flow.
“Amber…darling, your frightening me! What’s wrong? Please tell me what’s wrong, what’s going on?”
It’s on the tip of my tongue. All I have to do is utter two simple words, HELP ME! But, it’s never that simple. Those two words are the hardest words to vocalize. It takes courage to utter those words. It takes strength to utter those words. Strength and Courage, two traits that does not describe the person I am. But, soon….real soon, those words will escape from their gilded cage that has trapped them for so long. Soon…real soon, those words will escape because I have seen my future and I will not give him up! Soon, I will start to build my strength and I will gather some courage. But not today, today I am who he has trained me to be….I will stand here in my depravity as his creation, his… weakling! So, in the end I just say….
Spoiled Secrets Page 8