“Why is that again?” Finn leaned over and lifted my legs up, stretching them out onto the couch between us. “Hasn’t this been nice, me coming and reading to you and your family?”
I nodded slowly, my eyes rolling back when he ignored me completely and started massaging my left ankle with steady pressure. He tugged my stretchy black yoga capri pants up past my knee. “Yes, it’s been very nice. Oh, that’s good. Right there.” So much for me setting clear boundaries.
Finn smiled at me with too much victory lighting his green eyes. “I’ve missed you, sinta. My house feels empty without you in it. I’ve been taking to sleeping either in one of the rooms of the palace, or here on your father’s couch because I don’t like the sight of my home without you in it.”
I bit down on my lower lip when his hands migrated to my calf, massaging the meat like a professional who was going off the grid. “We can’t talk about stuff like that.”
Finn was quiet a few seconds, watching me barely hold myself together through the seduction of his massage. “You’re letting me in more these days. Have you reconsidered turning me away?”
I shook my head defiantly, but the swoon when his thumb rubbed the muscle above my naked knee undermined my resolve. “I’m not good for anyone right now. I’m barely holding myself together these days, Finn. You should be with someone who won’t drag you down into their mess. You deserve someone with their act together.” My head lolled back against the arm of the couch. “Oh, right there.”
“You held me together when I was a mess, and it only made us both stronger.” His tone turned darker as he stared at my toes. “Beautiful.” So light, I barely recognized the touch at first, Finn kissed the heel of my foot. When his lips dragged across my toes, I tried not to give in to his seduction – though we both knew I was a puddle of “I surrender” when he pulled stuff like that.
I think we both expected me to jerk away when he sucked my big toe into his mouth, but I moaned instead, throwing my head back as my body arched to get closer, to have more of what I shouldn’t want. “That’s the way. Oh, just like that.” I grabbed the throw pillow that had fallen to the floor and smashed it over my face to muffle my gratuitous groans and to keep my mouth from leaping onto his. Finn’s lips worked their way up the back of my leg, until his tongue laved in the underside of my knee. My body shuddered of its own volition, opening to his perusal. I let out a noise of pleasure that sounded like distress into the pillow.
“October, I – Ho! Sorry, guys. I heard a noise, so I... Carry on.”
Mason’s voice was just the thing I needed to snap me out of my bad decision. My leg fell away from Finn as he sat back, his hand rubbing over his face to collect himself.
“Mason, wait!” I called, rolling ungracefully off the couch and fighting with the furniture to stand. My face was beet red, and I couldn’t look at Finn, even when he helped Mason hoist me up off of the floor. “Finn was just leaving. Goodnight, Finn. Thanks for coming reading and over.” I shook my head. “For coming over and kneading.” I covered my face with my hands, frustrated and embarrassed. “I mean coming over and reading.”
Mason took a cautious step back when Finn gripped my chin with his thumb and forefinger to whisper in my ear, “Remember how much your body wants me. I’ll be back for more tomorrow.”
“I’m going to bed!” I shouted, my volume making me flinch. I all but ran up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door shut. Clothes were ripped off me and pajamas pulled on in record time. I buried myself under the covers, closing my eyes and hoping with everything in me that I could trick Mason into thinking I was already asleep.
“You are such a faker,” Mason teased, pinching my side under the covers when he slid in behind me. “Sorry I interrupted... whatever that was. I didn’t realize you’d decided to let Finn in like that.”
“If I started snoring, would you pretend that I’m asleep so we don’t have to talk about it?”
Mason chuckled at my chagrin. He reached his long arm around me and palmed my belly, coveting the bump and the baby inside. “Not a chance. What kind of sex are the two of you having? It looked like you were ramping up for something filthy.”
I let out a mini cry of shame and covered my face, as if that would keep Mason from seeing all I’d done. “It was nothing like that! It was an accident, a total mistake. I didn’t mean to let that happen.”
His laughter only made me feel worse. “Does that accident happen often? It didn’t look like the first time he’d... Was he sucking on your knee pit? Do you like that sort of thing?”
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Nothing happened. He read to us, and then he went home. Nothing else.” I groaned when Mason’s laughter shook the bed. “Mason, you can’t leave me alone with him. I mean it. You’re my Reaper, so you’re not supposed to let me wander into dangerous situations. Finn is dangerous to me. I have no self-control anymore, and that’s hazardous! I say no, and then somehow I’ve got my toes in his mouth!”
Mason’s laughter came out a howl at my admission. “Oh, that’s excellent. Please tell me he’s got a weird toe fetish.” When my answer was a guilty shade of red that went impossibly deeper, Mason rolled onto his back and clapped his hands. “You just made my night, hani. The great Captain Finn likes to suck on women’s toes!”
“I’m going to go sleep on the couch downstairs.” I made to sit up, but Mason dragged me back down so I was tucked into his nook.
“Oh, I’m only teasing. Good for you, October. Truly. It was refreshing to see you let go. It was strange – make no mistake about that – but I’m happy for you.”
“Ugh. There’s nothing to be happy about. It was a mistake, and if he comes back tomorrow, you can’t leave me alone with him. I’m serious. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to have one guy’s bun in your oven while sticking your feet in another guy’s mouth.” I buried my face in his shirt. “Oh, I’m such a whore! Gross!”
Mason’s chest vibrated with silent laughter. “Tell me again. You were sitting there after Danny and Mariang left, and then what? He just starts sucking on your toes?”
“No! He asked me if my feet were sore, and then started rubbing them. It all went downhill from there. I mean it, Mason. You can’t leave us alone. I need a chaperone if I’m going to stay away from him.”
Mason’s laughter ebbed, his eyes on the ceiling. “Is there a reason you’re staying away from him? I mean, you’re not in love with Von anymore. It’s obvious you feel something for Finn.”
“Finn’s conscience is new. He only just got out from under Banak’s curse. He’s still learning to be a good man. Plus, it feels wrong trying things out with Finn while I’m pregnant with Von’s baby. Icky somehow.” I shook my head as Mason sat up and tugged off his shirt. He laid back down and placed my hand atop his stomach, and I began our nightly ritual of rubbing his belly before he took his turn stroking mine. Human Mason liked a lot of the same indulgences that wolf Mason did, including tummy rubs. His stomach was hairy again after the months since Geon had ordered him shaved. My fingers fluttered over his skin, relaxing him before we went to sleep. My voice was quiet when I finally spoke. “Von slept with Katrina two months ago. I know he doesn’t know the baby’s his, but that one stung. I asked him to stop sleeping with my friends.”
“Von’s miserable. Men make all sorts of mistakes when they’re unhappy.”
“A mistake is wearing two different kinds of shoes. Von wants to be with Katrina.” The admission cut me anew, digging past the concrete I’d walled around my heart so thoughts of Von couldn’t hurt me anymore.
Mason thumbed my cheek. “Von’s miserable, and that’s the size of it. Mark my words. The times when you and I have fought and I had to distance myself? It was torture. You have no idea what this feels like for us, the tie we have to you. Being apart? Von’s trying to fill in the hole with anything just so he can breathe.”
My hand stilled low on his stomach, and I saw goosebumps break out across his abdomen. “You’re too good to
me.”
“Lower,” he beckoned, his hips shifting on the mattress as his eyes closed and licked his lower lip. “I love when you do this.”
My fingernails dipped an inch into the waistband of his shorts, and though I knew the teasing game we played was not so smart, it seemed to work for us. “You look content,” I mused, gazing at his lashes and the peaceful expression that erased his worry lines.
“I am. I know you’re miserable, but I love our little pregnant life that we’ve got going on here. I’m holding on probably longer than I should. I know I need to leave to take my sabbatical so you can have the baby. I’ve actually packed a bag twice now, but I can’t manage to make it out the front door.”
“Am I safe? You’re not going to lose control, right?”
As if on cue, Mason’s stomach rumbled under my palm. “No. I’m fine. But I’ll have to leave in the next week or two. Every time I think about it, I get this hollow feeling right here.” He tapped his chest. “Roll over. It’s my turn.” I shifted onto my back so Mason could palm my stomach. “You’re so worked up. I’m going to have to call Boston in tonight if we’re going to get you to zero so you can work tomorrow.”
“Sorry.”
Mason lifted my shirt to hitch just under my breasts, as was our nightly ritual. He stroked my belly and kissed it, instructing September and me how to best make a trap to catch a zombie. He spoke so sweetly, even when he warned her where to stab them so as best to incapacitate them for burial. Mason told the weirdest bedtime stories, but I didn’t mind. It was his way of passing down his wisdom to the next generation, and I adored him for it.
The only thing that gave me pause was a tiny quirk he’d started doing this week. Instead of merely kissing my belly, he flattened his tongue against the bottom of the orb, and licked up over my navel, all the way up to my raised shirt. Every now and then, he would graze the tip of his nose across my breasts, smirking at our little flirty secret before he buried his face in the valley of my breasts. Then he would migrate back down and lick my belly again, letting out quiet “mm” noises that made me feel like I was his forbidden dessert.
“You getting hungry?” I asked him, mildly nervous. If he didn’t have baby eating in his genetic code, I might like the intimate, ticklish sensation, but as it was, I didn’t know which way was up. My hips squirmed with hormonal confusion that felt like misplaced desire. I clenched the sheets in my fists and prayed that I didn’t moan too gratuitously.
He ran his nose down over the line he’d licked. It was so very intimate. “I’m in control. You have no idea how amazing she smells. I just want to smell the baby.” He licked and inhaled a dozen more times, making me twist with my traitorous hormones in the sheets, before he went back to kissing my belly and telling September more stories about Sombi.
He called in Boston twenty minutes later when his eyelids started to droop. I slept soundly with Mason spooning me and Boston resting his arm over mine in the night. Under the covers, Mason’s hand snuck under my shirt during the night, so he could press his hand to my bump, coveting September as if she were his even in slumber.
I awoke to a pinch, and then something wet on the back of my neck. I shifted, and felt Mason’s human teeth open against my skin, gently raking down the nape of my neck without tearing the flesh. “What the...”
I roused Boston first, who watched with growing alarm as Mason continued gnawing on my neck in his sleep. “Mason!” Boston barked. “Go sleep on the couch, mate. You’re pushing your limit on how long you can be around the baby.”
“No, no,” I insisted, sitting up. I kissed Mason’s lips that were slick with saliva. “Go back to sleep. I’ll go snooze on the couch.”
Mason was barely awake for any of the conversation. He shifted and dozed back to sleep.
Boston was wide awake. “Come on, sis. This isn’t safe anymore. You’re sleeping in my room tonight. Let’s go.” Boston didn’t take no for an answer, but helped me roll off the bed and led me to his room, where no one tried to bite me in my sleep.
I wasn’t often alone with Boston, and didn’t relish the thought of sleeping with only him, but I tried to be a team player, as very soon, this would be the arrangement. I tried to fall asleep as quickly as I could next to him, my leg draped over his thigh so he could pull from me while we slept.
The leg beneath mine started quivering a few minutes after I closed my eyes, and I opened them to find tears sparkling in Boston’s eyes. They ran down his face as he tried to mourn in private. I wished that I could give him the space to do exactly that, but we were stuck together now, so I tried to make the best of it and be there for him, if he’d let me. My fingers twined through his, and immediately he swiped at his tears with his free hand. “Go to sleep,” he said in a husky voice that was thick with emotion.
“Okay.” I wanted to help him, but other than bringing Bishop back to life, there was no helping Boston. Instead I held tight to his hand while he wept. The sound was horrible, muffled, ashamed and alone. His tears knocked a few of my own loose, when the agony he couldn’t master on his own tackled him without mercy.
“Bishop, he was... Do you think he died a hero?”
“His last words were about you,” I admitted, reminding him of the message Bishop had asked me to deliver to his twin brother. “Unselfish to his dying breath. Only heroes can do that.”
He turned on his side to face me, clutching my hand between his. “It hurts,” he whispered desperately, breaking my heart in two.
“I know, honey. I know. You have to let it hurt for a while. How about in here, we just be sad about it all for as long as we like.”
Boston nodded, and this time when he sobbed quietly, there was no shame in his tears. “It hurts.”
“Hold tight to my hand, Boston. I won’t let go. I’m here for the worst of it. I’m not going anywhere.”
“It hurts!” he cried, his streaked face pleading with me to make it all go away.
There in the dark, we wept together. There were tears for Bishop, Bev, Allie. There was a clawing ache of loneliness that surviving, while the world crumbled around you, marked a person with.
That night, shrouded by the privacy of darkness, Boston and I became friends.
Thirteen.
Mason the Matruculan
Finn came back the next evening a little earlier, sitting at the table when Ezra invited him to eat dinner with us. I could barely look at him as I pushed the food around on my plate. I wasn’t hungry at all after a day of reaping. I was exhausted and queasy, which didn’t make me a great conversationalist at dinner.
I pulled Finn aside before dessert, lowering my voice in the hallway. “Look, I love that you’re trying to get along with my family and all, but what happened last night was completely wrong. Totally my fault, and I’m sorry. I’m not available, and I got caught up in the moment.”
Finn’s jaw tightened. “I thought you’d say that.” He sighed with practiced patience. “This whole having a conscience thing is terrible. All I want is to carry you up to your bedroom, throw you down on the mattress and suck on your ankle until you admit that you want me with you. Then I’d strip your clothes off and make love to you, which is what I should’ve done when we were living together.”
I swallowed hard. “That wouldn’t fall into the realm of friendly behavior. We’re friends, Finn. So anything that you’d do with Mason, you can do with me.” I pressed my fingers to my forehead to rub the tension away. “I’ve got to warn you, friend to friend, Mason’s toes are very hairy, so I’d think twice before putting his foot in your mouth.”
Finn’s eyes hardened as he ran through his lengthy mental list and crossed off offending items. “I wanted to stay tonight and read to you.”
“Reading is fine. In a group setting. With witnesses and socks and shoes on.” My cheeks pinkened.
The corner of Finn’s mouth tugged upward. “If you say so. You’re the one who’s barefoot now.” He let out another labored sigh. “But I can keep myself hon
est, if it means I get to keep you in my life.”
“Really?”
“Really. I’ll have however much of yourself you’d like to give to me.”
I blinked twice, touched that his love was about more than the physical connection we couldn’t seem to sever. “Wow, Finn. Thank you. You’re a good man.” I shifted my cheery yellow stretchy maternity shirt, wishing it was a little less form-fitting so I didn’t feel so very exposed. Mariang had sworn I didn’t look like a giant bumble bee, but I’d still switched my black yoga capris for dark gray ones, just in case. As Finn stood before me, looking too tempting and too available, I knew I should’ve opted for a ski jacket and clown pants.
I was tentative around him during dessert, extra polite and avoided too much eye contact. I finally started to loosen up in the living room when Finn opened the book to start our nightly ritual. Mason stayed true to my request that he not leave me alone with Finn. He was in his wolf form, warming my feet while Finn read so that no one would suck on my toes. Ezra was my other buffer, sitting in the recliner to keep us company.
Finn finished three chapters, and then closed the book, resting it on the coffee table. I was too tired to go up the stairs, so I drifted off to sleep on the couch in Finn’s arms with Mason warming my toes, guarding them so they didn’t end up in Finn’s mouth again.
I expected to wake to Finn jostling me gently before he left for work. The jaws that clamped onto my calf woke me with a jolt and a scream I wasn’t awake enough to temper. Finn jerked awake, sitting us both up as he assessed the source of the danger. Mason’s fangs were latched onto my left leg, digging deeper as I screamed. He growled with a feral snarl that started deep in his belly.
“Mason! Let go!” Ezra was upright, clearing the distance between the recliner he’d fallen asleep in and the couch. “Danny! Boston!” he shouted through the mansion, his voice carrying up the stairs.
“Mason, stop! It’s me!” I screamed as the teeth dug deeper. “You’re hurting me! You don’t want to hurt me!”
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