“Oh, god,” I whisper, covering my mouth with my hands as memories start to resurface. We fooled around. I sucked his cock. I swallowed his come. He licked my pussy. He drank me down. Oh, god.
Posie’s cry echoes down the hall, and I sit up, grabbing one of his T-shirts laying on the ground. Since he is so big, everywhere, the shirt comes down to my knees. I throw my hair up in a messy bun and tiptoe out the door. I close his bedroom door, so he doesn’t wake up from her hungry wails.
I pass photos on the wall of him, Brandon, Amelia, and the entire family. Even a photo of me and him on his graduation day from med school decorates the wall. I guess he has cared, and he didn’t even know it. I didn’t either, I suppose.
“Hey, Posie. What’s wrong, baby?” I croon at her as soon as I pick her up out of her crib. I feel her diaper and notice it is heavy, so I lay her on the changing table and switch it out with a clean one. I sit down in the chair in the corner and hold her against my chest as she cries. “It’s okay. You’re okay. I know parents usually sing to their kids, but I can’t hold a tune to save my life, so how about a story of your daddy? Would you like that?” She continues to cry, not that she is able to answer me anyway.
I rub her back and rock the chair, trying to bring some sort of comfort to her. “So, for back story, we were five years apart, so we weren’t able to go to school together, not really. I was always the annoying younger sister who made him mad.” I spoke in her ear, in a calm even tone. “It’s a good story, I promise. Anyway, I think I was sixteen or seventeen, and he was starting his first year of med school. Maybe… he could have been getting his bachelor’s first, which you will be getting, but that’s another conversation for years from now. I’m getting off track. Your dad,” I stop speaking when my voice clogs with emotion. “Your dad was such a great brother. I had gotten myself into some trouble, but because I was so young, I had no idea how much trouble I was in until I thought it was too late.”
Her cries start to die down, but big tears continue to roll down her face—just not as loud as before. “Any who, I got invited to a party. Me. An actual party. I got home from school and told my parents about it, and they didn’t mind. There were the obvious rules: no drinking and driving, don’t do anything stupid, like drugs, and always wear protection.” I pull her back so I can take a look at her perfect face. “You don’t know what that is, but you don’t need to right now. Again, a conversation for another time.” I lay her on my shoulder again and rub lazy circles on her back. “Anyway, Brandon, your daddy, was so protective of me. I had no idea he had come home for spring break, and he overheard me telling our parents I was going to a party. Oh, he freaked out. He said that he was going to take me and stick to me like glue. That there was no way I was going to a party alone. I argued you know. I felt betrayed by him, like he didn’t trust me or something. It was so embarrassing going to a party with him. I felt like such a little kid. We got there, and the music blared, people were drinking, and dancing.” I shake my head remembering Brandon warning me to always stay close to him.
“Anyway, a few people he knew were there, too, but I met up with some friends, and somehow Brandon always stayed where he could see me. But Thomas Prestrenski was there. My crush. He was a senior, all-star football, and baseball player. He was cute.” I sing the last word, and Posie lifts her head to stare at me with those brown eyes and giggles. “Yeah, he made me giggle too, cause he was soooo cute!” I repeat the noise, and she laughs again, throwing her arms in the air. “Anyway, he offered me a drink, and of course I said yes because this was Thomas Prestrenski. You don’t just say no to him.” I sigh, trying to remember where it all went wrong. “I was about two drinks in when I started to feel funny, like I was floating, my mind got all foggy, and Thomas acted like he cared, asking if I was okay. Then, I found myself in a bedroom.”
Her eyes widen like she can understand me, but I know better. “Yeah, don’t ever get yourself in a room with a boy. They are trouble. Anyway, he starts putting his hands on me, pawing at me and slams me against the wall. I could barely hold myself up and then….boom!” I startle her, which causes her to laugh again, making my heart soar from her small giggles. “Your daddy busts through the door like a superhero and grabs Thomas by the shirt, throwing him against the wall. He throws punch after punch, telling him ‘to stay away from my sister or I swear’ blah, blah, blah.”
Posie tries to mock me, but instead of blah, blah, blah, she says bah, bah, bah. “That’s right. Blah, blah, blah, full-of-testosterone man.”
“Bah, bah, bah.”
“Good, girl. Back to the story, Brandon picks me up and carries me back to the car and drives me back home. The next morning, I thought I’d receive a big lecture, or I thought he would yell at me, but you know what he did?”
“Bah, bah.”
“No, blah, blah. He held me. He said he had been so scared when he couldn’t find me. And from that moment on, I never wanted to do anything that would disappoint him again. He knew I didn’t need a speech. He knew, I knew I messed up. Instead, he held onto me and told me how much he loved me. Do you know I never partied like that again? One, because I was scared, and two, because I knew Brandon couldn’t always be there.” I swallow when my mind goes to the day of his funeral. “I guess he isn’t here anymore. I’ll have to figure out the blah, blah, on my own. You won’t though. You have me, Caden, your grandparents, and Kenna. Kenna is the wild, fun aunt. You won’t be able to hang out with her until you’re eighteen. Okay?”
Posie yawns, rubbing her eyes with her little fists and nestles her head on my shoulder. “Sleep, little one. You haven’t been getting enough of it.” I know because I haven’t either. My eyes start to shut as I rock us both to sleep, wishing I didn’t only see Brandon in my memories now.
A few hours later I wake up with a blanket draped over me. I blink the confusion away, squinting into the dark room. I look down and notice my arms are empty.
Posie.
I get up and nearly fall in the crib to check to see if she is there. Nothing. I run my hands over her blankets and stuffed animals, but still, she isn’t there. My heart races with panic, and I spin around, thinking of all the places she can be. I fall on my hands and knees and check under the crib, but she isn’t there, either. I jump to a stand and race out the door and down the hallway, running into the first room on the left.
“Posie!” I call for her and check underneath the bed and open the closets, but that’s ridiculous because she can’t open a door. I bypass Caden’s bedroom because I had shut the door when I went to check on Posie. My feet hurry down the steps and slide around the corner as I hang a left. I see Caden standing in the kitchen, warming a bottle of milk in a pan with Posie on his hip.
My eyes zero in on his chest, and I pull the hem of his shirt down, trying to cover my legs when I see long red scratch marks on his pecs. His hair is sticking up in different directions, and his gym shorts hang low on his hips. I can’t look away from what I know hangs between his legs. It bulges out, and memories of my hands stroking him, my tongue licking him, and my lips wrapping around him make my nipples bead, and a gush of wetness flood my thighs.
I don’t have on panties, either.
“I feel your eyes on me.”
“Sorry,” I say, twisting the bottom of the shirt in my hands.
He turns the stove off and pulls the bottle out of the water, testing it on his wrist. He changes positions with Posie until he has her on her back in his arm, carrying her like a football, and puts the nipple of the bottle in her mouth. “Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry. I like your eyes on me.”
I try not to panic. I really do. “Right.” I ignore his words because I don’t know how to feel about them. I want to like them. I want to love them, but I don’t know how to trust his words. It is hard to let go of so many years of us being at each other’s throats because of a night of fooling around. “How is Posie? I freaked out because I didn’t see her when I woke up.”
He star
es at me for a minute, swaying Posie left and right as she eats. “Yeah, I woke up and you weren’t there. When I saw you, she started to wake up, so I took her and brought her down here. I figured she would be hungry. Isn’t that right, little miss Posie?” he coos at her. He plucks the bottle from her lips and makes choo-choo noises, bringing the bottle closer and closer. She gives him a toothless smile, reaching for the bottle again, and he puts the nipple back in her mouth.
My eyes start to tear up, and I sniffle knowing Brandon and Amelia won’t ever be able to have memories like this. They won’t ever run into one another in the kitchen, loving how the other is feeding their daughter. They won’t be able to see so many things. Brandon won’t be able to put money under her pillow when she loses a tooth and believes in the tooth fairy. He won’t be there to teach her how to ride a bike. He won’t see her go through a heartbreak, and then fall in love all over again. He won’t walk her down the aisle. He’ll miss everything.
I wipe my eyes and snatch an apple off the counter and sit down. I peel the sticker off the red, shiny skin, and start to think about how I’m in an already-made family. Am I considered tied down? What if I’ll never be able to find someone who will want me because of my situation? I’m not going to delude myself into believing a man like Caden wants me forever.
“So, we need groceries. The only thing we have in there for us is leftover Chinese food and some cheese. I’ll go when she is done with her bottle.”
The thought of getting out of the house makes me stand and take a bite of the fruit I have in my hand. The crunch is loud, and the juice rolls down my lip and onto my chin when I try to speak. “I’ll go. I’ll take Posie, and you can catch up on some sleep since you never get to.”
“You sure? Because I don’t mind going.”
“Really, I don’t mind at all. It will be good for me to go out and check out the town.”
“Alright, thanks. I appreciate it.” His thick hair falls in his face, and I hold myself back from brushing it away.
The moment becomes awkward. At least, for me it does because I can feel him staring at me with his loaded-question gaze, wondering why I seem so standoffish.
I’m scared of what I feel for him, and I have no idea how to react to it.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Molly
The wheels of the cart squeak as they roll against the tiled floor of the grocery store and down aisle two. I’m one of those shoppers that goes down every aisle because I never know what I might see or what I might want. It results in a three-hundred-dollar grocery bill, so it’s a good thing I don’t pay rent, am I right?
Music pumps through my earbuds, and I tap my fingers along with the beat of the song, Zombie by The Cranberries. It’s one of my favorite songs, but Kenna always knows when I am playing it because she calls every single time it comes on.
My phone stops playing the music, and her name and photo flash on my phone. I ignore it because I am finally alone. It’s just me, the grocery cart, and music, and I have a chance of clearing my thoughts, organizing them, and putting them into little comfy boxes. Then, once I get them all sorted out and grab the pasta sauce, I can go back to the way life was before. Before I felt his massive cock gliding between my folds.
Bang!
My phone flies out of my hand, crashing onto the floor when my cart clashes against another cart. “Oh, my god. I am so sorry.” That is what I get. I think of his big penis, and it makes me walk right into someone. “Are you okay?” I bend down to pick up the box of spaghetti I made the other person drop. “My mind is just all over the place.”
“It’s fine. Are you okay?” We reach for the same box and our hand’s touch. Our eyes meet. I know those eyes. I know those teeth. Those perfect, white, straight teeth.
Hottie bartender.
“I know you,” he says, running his hands over the box before tossing it in his cart.
“Um,” I stutter, pushing my hair behind my ears. “Maybe. Yeah, maybe. You look familiar.” My phone takes that moment to ring again, and hottie bartender bends down to pick it up.
He smirks, showing me that Kenna is FaceTiming me. I reach for it, but he yanks it back right out of my reach and swipes the screen. “No!” I whisper, trying to snatch the phone out of his grasp, but he holds it up in the air.
“Hi, Kenna,” he answers.
“Hottie bartender!” she says in shock. “What are you doing with my best friend’s phone? Actually, why are you in Glendive? That’s unusual. Consider me intrigued and very happy. You are a sight for very sore eyes, hottie bartender.”
He smiles, and he has a dimple. A damn dimple. Are you kidding me right now? “Well, I’m at the grocery store, and your friend smashed her cart into me. And I’m in Glendive because my Grandma is sick, and she needs help.”
“Oh my god. You’re hot, and you love your grandma? Are you a unicorn?”
He smirks, showing that fucking dimple. He leans against his cart and crosses his ankles over one another. “I’m not. I’m just a guy who loves his grandma.”
“And a guy who steals phones,” I say as I reach for my phone again, jumping to rip it from his hand.
“Molly, hush. I’m talking to hottie bartender,” Kenna says, shushing me.
I huff and cross my arms, taking a step back to let someone through. “Sorry.”
“What’s your name, hottie bartender?” Kenna asks.
“Oakley.”
“Oakley what?” she prods.
“Does it matter?” I mumble, staring at my nails.
“Glendive.”
I cough, tripping over my own two feet, making me run into the cart again, which pushes into his cart…again. “Sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Kenna gasps. “Wait, your last name is the name of the town?”
“Yeah. I come from the founding family.”
“The founding family? Meaning you come from a family that founded the town? You must be filthy rich.”
“Kenna!” I admonish her. I mouth at Oakley. “I’m sorry.”
“Kind of am, yeah. The bar you guys saw me in? I own it. I was just there visiting. I live here in Glendive.”
I roll my eyes. I don’t like a man that talks about money like that. Flaunting money like it isn’t a big deal is obnoxious, even if the thought of being able to do that is super dreamy. He lowers the phone, thinking my defenses are down, but they aren’t. I’m fast on my feet and snatch my phone away. I hold it in front of my face to see her purple hair framed face. “That was rude, Molly. I was in the middle of a conversation.”
I shove Kenna and my phone back into my pocket and take hold of my cart again. “It was nice running into you, Oakley. I hope your grandmother gets better.”
“Is this part where you run away, and I hope to run into you again at the grocery store?”
“Bye, Oakley.” I turn the cart to the left, away from the hottie, rich bartender, and get as far away as I can. I pull my phone from my back pocket and scowl at Kenna. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“Jeez, about time. I was suffocating down there.”
“Too bad it didn’t work.”
“Ouch, someone is moody. Married life not all that it’s cracked up to be, Molly?”
“You are unbelievable. I am not married. For the hundredth time.” I toss some cream cheese into the cart and make a mental note to get bagels. I always forget the bagels.
“Come on, Molls. Hottie bartender is single, rich, and did I say hot? ‘Cause damn, he is hot. If you aren’t going to hop on that, give the phone back to him so I can.”
I roll my eyes, turning down aisle fifteen. I’m so pissed I had to default from my usual routine. I like starting in aisle one, but because of hottie bartender, I have to start at the other end. “Sorry, I’m no longer near your money bag. I’m grocery shopping. And you know what? You interrupted my song.”
“Again? Man, I am on a roll with that.” She moves her head, like she is trying to peak around the screen to see what I am doin
g. “What ya doing?”
“Grocery shopping.” I give her a look before tossing some paper towels in the cart.
She narrows her eyes, studying me. “You’re off. What’s wrong? You’re crabbier than usual.”
“I’m not crabby.”
“You are crabby. A little bitchy, to be honest. What happened? Talk to me.”
I glance around to make sure no one is near me. “I don’t want to talk about it right now, Kenna.”
“So, something is wrong? Is it Caden? Is Posie okay? Do I need to come there?”
“Calm down, Kenna. Posie is fine.” I turn down aisle fourteen and stop in my tracks when boxes upon boxes of condoms stare back at me.
Kenna bites into a carrot. Like a big carrot. The one that you are supposed to chop into tiny pieces. She has never been like that, though. She takes the entire thing and bites into it. I should call her a rabbit more often. “So, it is Caden.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t not say it, either.” Crunch.
“Stop reading into things, Kenna.”
“I’m not reading into anything when you’ve written on the walls, clear as freaking day, for the world to see.” Crunch.
Should I get condoms? Maybe I should get condoms. Nope. I shouldn’t because I don’t plan on having sex with him.
“Kenna. Will you stop and just talk to me? Stop looking at the condoms.” Crunch. And then the crunching stopped. “Oh my god, you’re looking at condoms! You are looking at condoms! For Caden? What has happened?”
I drop the phone to my side when an old lady looking at pads gives me a dirty look before putting the adult diapers in her cart and strutting away like she is too good for sex. Rude. I bring the phone back up and plug my headphones back in. “Could you have said that any louder?” I whisper harshly, feeling so much heat in my cheeks that I start to sweat.
“Oh, come on. You’re going to hide me like a dirty secret?” Crunch. “That’s unfair.” I start to push the cart away when she speaks up again. “You might want to grab a box of those.”
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