“That may be a bit of an understatement,” Tori’s tone shifted from jovial to serious in the blink of an eye. “But you followed your heart. How were you to know that doing so would lead you down such a rocky path?”
Victoria had a way of funneling through the subterfuge, causing Eve to laugh in spite of herself and her dire situation.
“At least you can laugh about it. Surely, that is a positive sign?” Tori turned to face her friend. “How are you, truly?”
Eve expected this question. “I feel so much guilt for hurting Tristan and so much rage at Colin.”
“You’re also angry at yourself, I presume?”
“More than I can express,” Eve managed though her voice cracked mid-sentence. “How is Tristan? Have you spoken to him?” her voice grew hoarse, her vision now clouded with concern.
“I spoke with him last night. He feels betrayed and furious,” Victoria sighed. “I must confess to being concerned about him. He departed for London before dawn this morning.”
“I care for Tristan. It was never my intention to hurt him,” Eve confessed, uncertain whom she was trying so hard to convince – herself or Victoria.
Her love for Colin was explosive and all consuming, a passion she never experienced with Tristan. What concerned her was the fact that Eve knew Tristan would protect her and Grandmamma. Could she trust Colin to do so? The past proved that he was unreliable.
Eve’s heart skipped a beat whenever she remembered their past.
“You spoke with Colin yesterday. How much did he tell you?” Though Eve tried to cage her jealousy, the sharp-clawed monster still managed to slice at her abdomen.
“Colin explained that you and he were once in love.” Victoria’s sweet tone did little to sedate the daemon inside Eve.
“I loved him at the time but I doubt he ever loved me.” The thought of it made Eve want to throw something in an attempt to seize control of her spiraling life.
Victoria offered a sincere smile. “He loved you. Of that I am absolutely certain.”
“When did you become so well acquainted with one another?” Although not meant to be accusatory, Eve’s unchecked cadence made her question sound very much like an accusation.
“Eve Weston, are you envious?” Victoria teased.
Hot with shame, Eve’s cheeks must have turned a remarkable shade of crimson.
Her friend grinned as if she understood. “It is only fair, considering I have been so of your betrothal to Tristan for quite some time. Rest assured, I consider Colin to be like a brother and nothing more.”
“What?” Eve blinked, unable to believe her ears.
“Colin is like a brother to me,” Victoria asserted.
Eve shook her head. “Though I am strangely relieved by your admission that isn’t what I am questioning. What did you say about Tristan, and why did I never see it?”
“You weren’t meant to see it,” Victoria spoke with an air of nonchalance. “You both deserved to be happy, and the fact that you found bliss in one another made me ecstatic for you.”
Eve saw her friend in a new light and respected her for it. “You are one strong lady,” Eve’s tone was rich with admiration.
“We have that in common,” Victoria winked.
The book in Eve’s lap again drew her attention. “I feel like a wretched person. It surprises me that you don’t see me in the same light.”
“You are my friend, and I refuse to judge you. Although …” she paused and Eve could feel the heat emanating from her friend’s gaze. “I believe you are fooling yourself where Colin is concerned. You would never have kissed him if you didn’t feel something for him. Based upon what I witnessed in the garden, you are in love with him.”
“I barely survived Colin’s first desertion,” Eve’s shoulders slumped, the awful truth weighing her down like quicksand, threatening to bury her. “I don’t know what I would do if I allowed him access to my heart only to be betrayed again. I can’t be vulnerable any more than I can allow myself to be his pawn again.”
Victoria nodded, “Only you can decide whether or not to place your trust in Colin again. If it is any consolation, I do believe he loves you just as I believe he had his reasons for leaving.
Warning bells began to clang in Eve’s ears. Reasons? What did Victoria know of Colin’s reasons? A sudden clarity hit Eve directly in the abdomen, all but winding her. “You know why he left, don’t you?”
“I can’t say,” Victoria averted her eyes, studying her patrician fingers.
“You’re my friend, Victoria. How can you keep this information from me?” Eve insisted.
“It isn’t my truth to reveal,” Tori’s eyes were brimming with empathy. “You are my friend and I love you dearly. I hope one day you can understand why I am unable to say anything further.”
Eve’s rage boiled to the surface, and the sole person she could take it out on was her dear friend sitting beside her. So, she chose the tact that would do the most harm.
“Is this about Tristan?” Eve’s cadence dripped with the venom of a thousand snakes. “You withhold information from me about Colin because Tristan fell in love with me and not you.”
“I beg your pardon, Miss Weston,” Victoria’s reply was sharp and judging. “I mistook you for my friend when I confided my feelings for Tristan to you.”
Tori’s remark was just the spark Eve’s temper needed. Slamming the heavy tome upon the table in front of them with a loud thud, she stood, fully releasing her wrath.
“Admit it. This is about Tristan.” Eve paused to consider the events that unfolded the prior evening. “Or could it be about Colin – the fact that I kissed him after you were alone with him in the gardens?”
Tori stood then marched towards a violet settee, using it as a buffer to separate herself from her host. “I am here because I care about you – my friend.” She emphasized her last words, causing regret to settle upon Eve’s battered heart, weighing it down even further.
How much heavier could it get? she wondered.
Eve met Victoria’s heated gaze. “I’m behaving like a petulant child, am I not?”
“If you think for one moment that I will object, you are sorely mistaken.” Victoria placed her hands on the back of the settee and inhaled. She then pointed at the thick tome now sitting on the table in front of Eve, before adding with her undeniable wit, “On second thought, I fear if I were to anger you further, you would toss that book at me. As a priceless vase that has belonged to my family for generations can attest, you have very good aim.”
“Oh, Tori,” Eve leaned forward in her chair. “I am—”
“Please, don’t apologize. I dare say it is quite annoying. Besides,” Victoria added with a wink, “we always detested the hideous thing. Good riddance.”
Smiling at her friend’s loyalty, Eve whispered “I don’t like the selfish chit I am becoming.”
“You are an absolute brat,” Tori concurred, pausing to study her blue reticule embroidered with butterflies and daisies. “That is why you began your own seamstress business, is it not? Certainly you don’t secretly design beautiful gowns for entitled snobs to help save your grandmother from your father’s debt. It must be because you are spoiled and self-absorbed.”
Eve leaned back against the fluffy cushions. “You realize you’re obliterating my attempt to wallow in self-pity.”
“That is indeed my intention,” Tori wrinkled her nose then stuck her tongue out at her friend, causing Eve to chuckle in spite of herself.
“My life is an absolute mess! My betrothal is broken, along with Tristan’s heart – I have no right to laugh.”
“Crying is far overrated,” Victoria chimed in, her sarcasm heavy.
“Stop, please,” Eve pleaded as she crossed the room. She stared out the windows, and the sunlight hurt her eyes. How could it be such a beautiful day after all that transpired the night before? “I hurt Tristan terribly last night. For that very reason, I don’t deserve to be happy.”
She
turned to face her friend, “I am serious, Tori.”
“As am I.” Victoria crossed the room, bridging the distance between them. “The past is just that, Eve, the past. There is no turning back.”
Tori’s declaration was similar to what Colin had said to Eve the night before. Damn him and damn Victoria for insinuating that she has no say as to which direction her life should take.
“I’m beginning to think that’s what you want.” Eve’s tone was more accusatory than she intended. In truth, she sounded paranoid and quite possibly insane. Without a doubt, she must be losing her mind but the suspicion that Tori had a hand in the previous evening wouldn’t rest, gnawing at her gut, scratching and clawing until Eve thought she would scream. “You wanted this all along, didn’t you?”
“Not this again.” Victoria rolled her eyes. “I understand that you’re upset and that you want to lash out at someone, anyone, but I beseech you not to say something to me that you will regret.”
Eve was sick of people telling her what to do. First, Tristan broke their betrothal without giving her a chance to explain, then Colin demanded she marry him without showing any interest in Eve’s wishes. Now Victoria was telling her what to do.
Enough! No more! Never again, her inner voice screamed.
“You’re mistaken, Victoria,” Eve said, meeting her friend’s heated gaze, matching it. “The truth will help me feel much better. The fact remains that you’ve always loved Tristan and you wanted him for yourself.” Eve had never said it before, hadn’t even dared to see it let alone admit it to herself. Perhaps it was because she hadn’t wanted to hurt her friend?
Damn friendship!
She marched to the other side of the room. “I thought that you and Colin were …” she still couldn’t form the words. “Instead you were trying to ensure that Tristan was free for you. You used me to get what you wanted.”
“You dare call this the truth?” Tori tossed her reticule on the settee she had vacated earlier, matching Eve step for step. “No, I dare say this is nothing more than your own self-pity, pure and simple. This is your desire to wound someone, anyone, as much as you’ve injured yourself, and apparently you’ve chosen me as your target.”
Eve swayed, “I-I’ve hurt myself?” she sputtered.
“You say you want the truth?” Victoria’s eyes, the color of bright sapphires, flashed with fury. “Well, brace yourself because the truth is that no one forced you to kiss Colin last night. No one compelled you to love him despite the fact that you were betrothed to his brother.”
Never before had Eve witnessed her friend so angry. She had pushed too far, understood that this argument was her fault, but Eve couldn’t stop herself. Or wouldn’t. Perhaps it was a deliberate action? Her irrational mind wouldn’t heed her heart’s command.
“What did you say to Colin last night?” Eve refused to relent, her question drenched in desperation. “Did you send Tristan to that terrace to catch us?”
“You can’t honestly believe me capable of such a horrid, mean-spirited act.” Victoria’s expression softened and Eve got the distinct impression that she pitied her.
Though Tori was correct, Eve still needed someone to blame and if not Colin or Victoria, then whom? Then she would be forced to blame herself, and Eve was certain her heart could not withstand more soul searching.
“Are you going to deny that you love Tristan?” Eve asked. “Will you lie and dare to declare you haven’t always adored him?”
Victoria placed her hand on her hip. “No, I won’t deny it, nor will I apologize for it because I haven’t done anything wrong.”
Eve clucked her tongue.
“Two of the people I love most in this world were in love with each other. How could I have been anything but happy for you both?” Victoria asked, her voice strong and proud. “It would appear that I overestimated you. After all, you have turned my heartfelt admission against me. That is something a true friend would never do.”
Victoria shook her head as if trying to assimilate the events that had transpired since she entered the room. “It appears my instinct is flawed because I considered you to be one of my closest friends. I also believed that you deserved Tristan. Little did I know that you were pining after his elder brother the whole time you were with Tristan and that you would turn on me in an instant just to avoid placing the blame where it belongs – squarely at your own feet.”
The knot of guilt and shame coiled tighter in Eve’s abdomen, cutting off her every breath.
“Why did you push me today?” A tear drifted down Victoria’s rosy cheek. “Did you think I would choose Tristan over you? Or did you push me away so that I would do so without remorse?”
Dear God in heaven, Victoria was right.
“I’m sorry,” Eve whispered, her words so quiet that she could barely hear them. Did she really speak them aloud or was it her imagination? Eve couldn’t be sure since Tori failed to acknowledge them.
Victoria studied her, her gaze piercing Eve’s weary soul. “You were like a sister to me. My mother, God rest her soul, Sebastian, and I invited you into our family.”
“I’m sorry, Tori,” Eve repeated, louder. This time Victoria heard it and, for a moment, a brief glimmer of recognition shone in her watery blue eyes.
In a split second, though, she averted her gaze.
“Colin has been through hell and has come home to you,” Victoria crossed the room, bending down to retrieve her gloves and reticule. “He thinks you are worth sacrificing his brother for.”
“Victoria—”
“After your behavior towards me today, I disagree, but my opinion matters not.” Tori wiped back tears with her fingertips before tugging her gloves over fingers with force. “I will offer you one piece of advice, Miss Weston. Do not dare inflict pain upon Colin the way you did to Tristan … or me for that matter.”
Tori returned her attention to Eve, her eyes cold and unyielding. “You may believe that you know me but hurt one more person that I care about and you will learn what I am truly capable of.”
She walked to the door and paused, placing her gloved hand on the brass knob. “One day you will realize that you wounded me today for no other reason than to feed into your own grief and helplessness. I will forgive you.”
Turning toward Eve, Tori’s expression was a mask of anguish that sliced Eve’s heart like a sharp pair of shears. Then her expression hardened. “But take care, Eve, because I will never forgive you if you break Colin’s heart.”
Tori jerked the door open and marched out of the room without another word, a regal figure clad in periwinkle and cream proceeding gracefully down the hallway. Eve studied her from the doorway noting that though Victoria was furious, she remained flawless. From her pristine white gloves and the jaunty hat resting perfectly upon her auburn curls, to her composed posture. No one but Eve would sense that Victoria had just held her own with an irrational friend who had broken her spirit.
The sound of her friend’s final words echoed in Eve’s ears as realization dawned – she had just pushed her dearest friend away.
But why?
Could it be that Eve realized she never loved Tristan? Certainly not to the extent that she loved Colin.
Damn her for loving that man, but love him she did and always will.
Burying her face in her hands, Eve’s pulse pounded against her temples. After hours of frantically searching for reasons not to marry Colin, the fact remained that she loved him.
How could she not marry him?
She had been unknowingly preparing herself for just that. By alienating herself from Tristan and now Victoria, Eve was ensuring that she had no other allies.
His return had already changed her, Eve noted with a pang of regret as she caught sight of her pale reflection in the gilded mirror on the opposite wall. She walked towards it, like a moth to a flame, pressing her fingertips against the cool glass.
“Look at you,” she muttered to her ethereal reflection.
Colin hadn
’t been back in her life a full twenty-four hours and Eve already allowed his return to shred her once tidy life, leaving it in tatters. Even worse, she was to blame as her behavior towards Victoria proved.
Of course, the man was hiding something. Eve remained certain of it. Though she may not be privy to where he went or what he did there, she did suspect that Colin was keeping at least one secret, perhaps more.
Would she survive a lifetime married to the man?
A part of Eve, within the hidden corners of her already battered soul, feared the answer.
May God protect her from herself.
Chapter 9
“You did what?” Eve dropped the fern she was attempting to transfer to a larger pot, unable to believe her ears.
Her grandmother repeated her words with care as if speaking to a child. “I said that I visited Mister MacAlistair this morning.”
“I heard you, Grandmamma,” Eve shook her head as she tugged her soil-encrusted gardening gloves from her hands, “but why would you do such a thing?”
“He is about to become my grandson-in-law; why wouldn’t I wish to meet him?” Fiona asked as she averted her gaze from her granddaughter’s bewildered expression, instead focusing her attention on a bunch of lavender tied with string and hanging upside down against the far wall.
What has become of my neat little existence?
Eve crafted a life free of drama, one in which she was entrusted to make her own decisions. Like marrying Tristan – her grandmother allowed Eve to accept or not. Eve considered it and made the logical choice.
Where had her grandmother’s trust gone in regards to Colin? Eve tossed her gloves on the planting table in front of her.
I abused her trust and in turn, my future is in ruins. Who would trust me on matters such as this?
Victoria’s observation returned to Eve – she had done this to herself.
“Grandmother, look at me,” Eve insisted.
She never called Fiona Grandmother, and the woman must have grasped the significance of her doing so, for the Viscountess’s pale face turned at once.
Enticing Eve: Scandalous Secrets, Book 2 Page 14